If you've raised children you know that one thing you will frequently hear them ask is, "why?" Why do we have to go, why do I have to do that, and why is the sky blue? However, when you're driving I frequently see a driver do something and ask myself, "why?" Here are some of my favorite "why" driving questions and some possible answers. You may have better answers-let me know.
1. Why do people slow down to see an accident, even if it's on the other side of the road?
Answers:
A. They want to see if they know the people in the accident.
B. They want to see how bad the damage is so they feel better about how their car looks.
C. They want to see if someone's hurt so they can stop and help.
D. They want to tell someone later about what they saw.
D. They don't have a choice since the car in front of them slowed down.(but that doesn't explain the very first car slowing down)
2. Why do people turn right from the left side of the lane, sometimes actually veering left before turning right?
Answers:
A. They really do not know how to drive.
B. They are so afraid of hitting the curb that they stay very far from it.
C. They forgot they were turning right and didn't have time to move over to the right to turn.
D. They think you're supposed to turn right from the left side.
3. Why do people step on the accelerator and speed off when you beep them from behind at a light because it turned green and they didn't move?
Answers:
A. They are making up the couple seconds that passed by at the light when they closed their eyes or were on with their phone.
B. They are embarrassed that they didn't go when the light turned green so they are getting away from you as fast as they can.
C. The horn scared them so they stepped on the accelerator.
D. They are showing off that they really can drive.
4. Why do people drive continuously in the left lane?
Answers:
A. They don't know the rule of driving to the right and passing on the left.
B. They are oblivious to anyone else on the road and just drive wherever they want.
C. They think the left lane is a lot faster under all circumstances.
D They are having a "Big Mac Attack" and they have to get there right away.
5. Why do people drive 15, 20 or 25 miles over the speed limit?
Answers:
A. They are out of their ______ mind.
B. They don't know how to drive.
C. They have to get to the airport to board a plane.
D. They think they can drive at any speed they want.
Why? Maybe you've never asked some of these questions, maybe you don't have any better answers and maybe you really don't care. But these are some of the things I think about when I drive, but I can't tell you why.
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
Monday, July 23, 2018
Sand
Ugh, another blog post about the beach! When will it end? That's a question I usually ask when I'm on the beach. As you know my biggest adversary on the beach is "Mr. Sun." However, I'm starting to think that maybe sand is just as challenging.
I've been sitting on a chair on the beach that is one inch off of the sand. I've been told that people like to sit close to the sand because it enhances their beach experience, somehow. These "sand chairs" I refer to are uncomfortable because you know how difficult it is to get up from them. Maybe people enjoy them because they know they are stuck there?
Why is it people want to sit so close to the sand and even walk on the sand without any protection for their feet? The first thing everyone does when they leave the beach is that they try to get rid of every speck of sand. We shake off the blanket, the towel, the shirt that fell in the sand, and then we make way to the "hosing down area."
Before you get into the car you wash off your feet, toes, sandals or flip-flops and then you cross your fingers that it's all gone. When you get home you keep shaking the sand off and it's in places that you can't get to right away. How does sand get glued to your ankles? I thought I was going to need a brush to get it off. The chairs and umbrella get hosed down at home and then all you have left to empty is the sand in your car and trunk.
One last question: when you walk off the beach, what do you taste in your mouth? How does a speck or two of sand get in your mouth? My second last question- if we sat on bar stools on the beach, would we have less sand to get rid of later? And my third last question-if you think it's difficult carrying beach chairs on to the beach, imagine carrying a few bar stools?
I've been sitting on a chair on the beach that is one inch off of the sand. I've been told that people like to sit close to the sand because it enhances their beach experience, somehow. These "sand chairs" I refer to are uncomfortable because you know how difficult it is to get up from them. Maybe people enjoy them because they know they are stuck there?
Why is it people want to sit so close to the sand and even walk on the sand without any protection for their feet? The first thing everyone does when they leave the beach is that they try to get rid of every speck of sand. We shake off the blanket, the towel, the shirt that fell in the sand, and then we make way to the "hosing down area."
Before you get into the car you wash off your feet, toes, sandals or flip-flops and then you cross your fingers that it's all gone. When you get home you keep shaking the sand off and it's in places that you can't get to right away. How does sand get glued to your ankles? I thought I was going to need a brush to get it off. The chairs and umbrella get hosed down at home and then all you have left to empty is the sand in your car and trunk.
One last question: when you walk off the beach, what do you taste in your mouth? How does a speck or two of sand get in your mouth? My second last question- if we sat on bar stools on the beach, would we have less sand to get rid of later? And my third last question-if you think it's difficult carrying beach chairs on to the beach, imagine carrying a few bar stools?
Saturday, July 21, 2018
"Oh Harry"
Many years ago I listened to a motivational tape called, "Oh Harry." It was about a guy who became successful and got even with his brother-in-law who had been giving him a hard time about what he was doing. I don't have that problem in my life, but I do have a Harry in my life.
I told you about Harry who works with me. He's a little bit older than I am, from Philadelphia, and he's had two, twenty year careers as a fireman and a mail carrier. He's a real character and I think he'd get along well with the New Yorker I just wrote about.
He enjoys ribbing me about my van. He couldn't believe that they make smaller ones than I have. Recently he said, "If you had a grown up vehicle..." One day he was in rare form and being a Philadelphia sports fan he took it out on Frank(his boss) and me since we're Yankee fans. "I have to put with all these Yankee fans, wearing their Yankee hats and shirts and Yankee underwear."(Just for the record I do not have Yankee underwear) When I told another driver who is a Red Sox fan that Harry was complaining about us wearing Yankee underwear, he said, "At least you wear underwear."
One morning Harry asked me, "Where are the windmills?" I wanted to say the Netherlands, but he explained and told me that I'm always waving my arms around. Before I start carrying a lot of boxes I do loosen up my arms and stretch a little especially if we're waiting for the truck to arrive. But to Harry, I'm doing "windmills."
Many times Harry has said things to me like, "when you become the boss here," or "when you take over." This week he said to me, "I don't know what I'm going to do when you leave." I didn't ask him when I'm leaving or where I'm going, but no wonder I'm confused sometimes whether I'm coming or going-to Harry, I'm doing both.
Just this week Harry put his arm around me and told me what a great job I was doing. He has actually been saying a number of nice things to me the past couple months and I was starting to think maybe I was growing on him a bit. The last thing he said to me Friday was, "I just want to see you get in your car and leave." He was kidding, I think. I told him that would be the last line of my latest blog, I lied.
I told you about Harry who works with me. He's a little bit older than I am, from Philadelphia, and he's had two, twenty year careers as a fireman and a mail carrier. He's a real character and I think he'd get along well with the New Yorker I just wrote about.
He enjoys ribbing me about my van. He couldn't believe that they make smaller ones than I have. Recently he said, "If you had a grown up vehicle..." One day he was in rare form and being a Philadelphia sports fan he took it out on Frank(his boss) and me since we're Yankee fans. "I have to put with all these Yankee fans, wearing their Yankee hats and shirts and Yankee underwear."(Just for the record I do not have Yankee underwear) When I told another driver who is a Red Sox fan that Harry was complaining about us wearing Yankee underwear, he said, "At least you wear underwear."
One morning Harry asked me, "Where are the windmills?" I wanted to say the Netherlands, but he explained and told me that I'm always waving my arms around. Before I start carrying a lot of boxes I do loosen up my arms and stretch a little especially if we're waiting for the truck to arrive. But to Harry, I'm doing "windmills."
Many times Harry has said things to me like, "when you become the boss here," or "when you take over." This week he said to me, "I don't know what I'm going to do when you leave." I didn't ask him when I'm leaving or where I'm going, but no wonder I'm confused sometimes whether I'm coming or going-to Harry, I'm doing both.
Just this week Harry put his arm around me and told me what a great job I was doing. He has actually been saying a number of nice things to me the past couple months and I was starting to think maybe I was growing on him a bit. The last thing he said to me Friday was, "I just want to see you get in your car and leave." He was kidding, I think. I told him that would be the last line of my latest blog, I lied.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
The New Yorker
No, not that New Yorker. I met another New Yorker recently and he had me laughing. I delivered something to his door and asked him to sign for it. He looked at my Yankee hat and said, "I'm not signing while you wear that hat."
He was a depressed Met fan as many are this year. He started telling me stories of how he became a Met fan and how the ownership had ruined his team. I said, "but at least you live in a beautiful neighborhood." He replied, "it is, there are only three assholes who live here."
He looked at my van and said, "they should have given you a bigger van." When I told him it was my van, he had a guilty look on his face. He told me that I was a young guy and I had to defend my age by telling him I was almost 58! He said he had socks older than that, which I'm pretty sure is a very old Henny Youngman line.(comedian)
I told him that he looked great for 90 and he laughed and said he was "only 75." He pointed to the red sports car in the garage and told me that he "terrorizes the neighborhood in that." This New Yorker was quite a character and that New York character was still very much a part of him, although he had been living in Myrtle Beach the past twenty years.
As I pulled away I was still laughing at some the things he said, including his colorful language. And then it dawned on me how many of us are worried about an older loved one-are they drinking enough, or eating enough, or eating too much candy? Here's a 75-year old man admitting that he terrorizes a neighborhood in a sports car. Maybe we shouldn't worry so much about our loved ones?
He was a depressed Met fan as many are this year. He started telling me stories of how he became a Met fan and how the ownership had ruined his team. I said, "but at least you live in a beautiful neighborhood." He replied, "it is, there are only three assholes who live here."
He looked at my van and said, "they should have given you a bigger van." When I told him it was my van, he had a guilty look on his face. He told me that I was a young guy and I had to defend my age by telling him I was almost 58! He said he had socks older than that, which I'm pretty sure is a very old Henny Youngman line.(comedian)
I told him that he looked great for 90 and he laughed and said he was "only 75." He pointed to the red sports car in the garage and told me that he "terrorizes the neighborhood in that." This New Yorker was quite a character and that New York character was still very much a part of him, although he had been living in Myrtle Beach the past twenty years.
As I pulled away I was still laughing at some the things he said, including his colorful language. And then it dawned on me how many of us are worried about an older loved one-are they drinking enough, or eating enough, or eating too much candy? Here's a 75-year old man admitting that he terrorizes a neighborhood in a sports car. Maybe we shouldn't worry so much about our loved ones?
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
A Wonderful Wednesday or A Woeful Wednesday
Many years ago I learned in Psychology class that there is a test to see if you're an optimist or a pessimist. When you're shown a picture of a glass that is half way filled with water, do you see the glass as half full or half empty? Over the years I've believed that the glass is 100% full, half full of water and half full of air.
I was going to call this post "A Wonderful Wednesday" and then I realized that you could make a case for it being "A Woeful Wednesday." My youngest daughter and I have been referring to the days of the week as Magnificent Monday, Terrific Tuesday, Wonderful Wednesday, Tremendous Thursday, and Fantastic Friday.(Yes, I started it)
Let me tell you about my day today and you decide-wonderful or woeful?
THE IPOD:
WONDERFUL: Each week I put my iPod on for two whole days and listen to my favorite music and today was the day.
WOEFUL: When I got in my car I realized I had left the chord/atttachment/wire(whatever you call it) in the house and I wasn't going to go back in to get it. I would have to wait until tomorrow.
WONDERFUL: I pulled into a gas station ten minutes later and as I got out of the car I saw on the ground a chord/attachment/wire that looked like it was for an iPod. I walked past it thinking that the odds of finding one on the day I left mine in the house would be astronomical. But on my way back I thought, what if this is fate or destiny and I'm supposed to pick it up? I did and it worked and I sang and enjoyed my music all day long.
TUNA FISH:
WONDERFUL: I was looking forward to eating tuna fish today since my wife made it and put it in a container for me. A few times a month I don't eat a sandwich on the road and today was the day.
WOEFUL: As I got closer to lunch I suddenly realized I forgot to bring a fork to eat my tuna. It's really not as enjoyable eating with your hands.
WONDERFUL: I was able to find a spoon(not on the ground) and the tuna was great.
THE PATRIOT FAN:
WONDERFUL: A couple months ago I wrote about meeting a Ms. Davenport who was a big Patriot fan and was troubled my hat which had an NY on it. I told her the next time I would come in with a New York Giants shirt and I put one in my van the next day. Today, I finally got a chance to go back to see her.
WOEFUL: She was really too busy with her patients to talk, but I told her who I was and that I had a Giants shirt in the car. She said, "I'd never let you get in here with that on."
WONDERFUL: As I reached my car I started to laugh, grabbed the shirt, and ran back into the office waving the shirt at her. It was funny to see her reaction and of course the patients, who had to think I was nuts.
THE PICNIC DINNER AT THE BEACH
WONDERFUL: My wife and I planned to go over to the beach early this evening with some subs. We were going to have dinner on the beach tonight arriving around 6 pm when the sun wasn't as strong.(yeah)
WOEFUL: I finished work early and it looked like we would be going over much earlier on a very hot day.(ugh)
WOEFUL: My day was shorter because some boxes didn't come in which means I made $10-$15 less today.
WONDERFUL: My wife was delayed and we arrived at the beach at 5:30 when there was a pretty strong breeze.
WOEFUL: When we opened our sub to eat we had a bird and two crabs who were watching over us, I guess waiting for food.
VERY ODD: When I sat down on the beach, just to my right was a plastic fork and when we left for the night he water had moved the fork exactly to where I was sitting. I didn't have any tuna to put on the fork, I got a roast beef sub!
Every Wednesday we have a choice, is it a wonderful Wednesday or a woeful Wednesday? And every other day we get to choose, is the day half full, half empty, or is it 100% full.
I was going to call this post "A Wonderful Wednesday" and then I realized that you could make a case for it being "A Woeful Wednesday." My youngest daughter and I have been referring to the days of the week as Magnificent Monday, Terrific Tuesday, Wonderful Wednesday, Tremendous Thursday, and Fantastic Friday.(Yes, I started it)
Let me tell you about my day today and you decide-wonderful or woeful?
THE IPOD:
WONDERFUL: Each week I put my iPod on for two whole days and listen to my favorite music and today was the day.
WOEFUL: When I got in my car I realized I had left the chord/atttachment/wire(whatever you call it) in the house and I wasn't going to go back in to get it. I would have to wait until tomorrow.
WONDERFUL: I pulled into a gas station ten minutes later and as I got out of the car I saw on the ground a chord/attachment/wire that looked like it was for an iPod. I walked past it thinking that the odds of finding one on the day I left mine in the house would be astronomical. But on my way back I thought, what if this is fate or destiny and I'm supposed to pick it up? I did and it worked and I sang and enjoyed my music all day long.
TUNA FISH:
WONDERFUL: I was looking forward to eating tuna fish today since my wife made it and put it in a container for me. A few times a month I don't eat a sandwich on the road and today was the day.
WOEFUL: As I got closer to lunch I suddenly realized I forgot to bring a fork to eat my tuna. It's really not as enjoyable eating with your hands.
WONDERFUL: I was able to find a spoon(not on the ground) and the tuna was great.
THE PATRIOT FAN:
WONDERFUL: A couple months ago I wrote about meeting a Ms. Davenport who was a big Patriot fan and was troubled my hat which had an NY on it. I told her the next time I would come in with a New York Giants shirt and I put one in my van the next day. Today, I finally got a chance to go back to see her.
WOEFUL: She was really too busy with her patients to talk, but I told her who I was and that I had a Giants shirt in the car. She said, "I'd never let you get in here with that on."
WONDERFUL: As I reached my car I started to laugh, grabbed the shirt, and ran back into the office waving the shirt at her. It was funny to see her reaction and of course the patients, who had to think I was nuts.
THE PICNIC DINNER AT THE BEACH
WONDERFUL: My wife and I planned to go over to the beach early this evening with some subs. We were going to have dinner on the beach tonight arriving around 6 pm when the sun wasn't as strong.(yeah)
WOEFUL: I finished work early and it looked like we would be going over much earlier on a very hot day.(ugh)
WOEFUL: My day was shorter because some boxes didn't come in which means I made $10-$15 less today.
WONDERFUL: My wife was delayed and we arrived at the beach at 5:30 when there was a pretty strong breeze.
WOEFUL: When we opened our sub to eat we had a bird and two crabs who were watching over us, I guess waiting for food.
VERY ODD: When I sat down on the beach, just to my right was a plastic fork and when we left for the night he water had moved the fork exactly to where I was sitting. I didn't have any tuna to put on the fork, I got a roast beef sub!
Every Wednesday we have a choice, is it a wonderful Wednesday or a woeful Wednesday? And every other day we get to choose, is the day half full, half empty, or is it 100% full.
Monday, July 9, 2018
Going to the Doctor
To say that I don't go to a lot of doctors would be an understatement. However, when I told my Dad last night that I was going to a doctor he told me I hadn't been to one in fifteen years. Of course that wasn't the case, but I got a chuckle out of it. I stopped into my regular doctor just before Christmas when we were about to head south.
I need to have a doctor for some reason so I went into an office close by to make an appointment. They scheduled one six weeks in advance, which was okay with me-I was not in a hurry. When I went into the office today they told me that they tried to reach me two weeks ago to tell me that the doctor wasn't taking any new patients anymore. I couldn't believe it. Our pharmacy just closed and we had to get another pharmacy and now I have to switch a doctor I've never met?
One lady in the office wanted me to check in on the computer and the other woman told me I was in limbo right now. She gave me a choice of two other doctors who could see me today and since one started with a B, I chose him.(the other was way down in the alphabet)
While waiting for the doctor I was grilled with the usual questions about my health, my parent's health, my brother and sister's health and even my grandparent's health. I told her that I didn't have many neighbors right now so she didn't ask about their health. Then she said, "is there anything you're concerned about today?" I told her that I was worried about the Yankees pitching and she laughed.
The doctor came in and was very nice and very young too. I told him also about my concern about the Yankees pitching and he laughed too, but said he couldn't care less about them since he's a Cubs fan. The doctor decided I didn't need to continue my cholesterol medicine and they would do blood work in six months.
I told him that works for me and off I went. I never did sign in and I didn't pay anything and I don't have to go back until next year. Not a bad deal, my first visit to a southern doctor.
I need to have a doctor for some reason so I went into an office close by to make an appointment. They scheduled one six weeks in advance, which was okay with me-I was not in a hurry. When I went into the office today they told me that they tried to reach me two weeks ago to tell me that the doctor wasn't taking any new patients anymore. I couldn't believe it. Our pharmacy just closed and we had to get another pharmacy and now I have to switch a doctor I've never met?
One lady in the office wanted me to check in on the computer and the other woman told me I was in limbo right now. She gave me a choice of two other doctors who could see me today and since one started with a B, I chose him.(the other was way down in the alphabet)
While waiting for the doctor I was grilled with the usual questions about my health, my parent's health, my brother and sister's health and even my grandparent's health. I told her that I didn't have many neighbors right now so she didn't ask about their health. Then she said, "is there anything you're concerned about today?" I told her that I was worried about the Yankees pitching and she laughed.
The doctor came in and was very nice and very young too. I told him also about my concern about the Yankees pitching and he laughed too, but said he couldn't care less about them since he's a Cubs fan. The doctor decided I didn't need to continue my cholesterol medicine and they would do blood work in six months.
I told him that works for me and off I went. I never did sign in and I didn't pay anything and I don't have to go back until next year. Not a bad deal, my first visit to a southern doctor.
Sunday, July 8, 2018
The Newest Uber Driver
Being an Uber driver down here was something I considered 9-10 months ago when we decided to move. Since I enjoy driving, I expected to work at several things, and it was very flexibile, this would be a perfect fit. However, thinking about it is different than deciding to do it, and it's different than actually doing it.
I finally decided when I saw a scene from the "Rosanne" TV show. In the show she was an Uber driver and they showed her driving a man who was sitting in the back seat. He said something like this, "I'm never really sure if I should tip my driver." Rosanne said something like, "well, I picked you up at your house, so I know where you live. It's up to you." It was funnier watching it than reading it, but I said then that I was ready.
I ran into a problem getting approved because they needed to confirm that I was a driver for at least a year and did not have serious violations. Since I had just moved, nothing in South Carolina counted, only my record in New Jersey mattered. My New Jersey license had on it the date it was originally issued(or at least a couple years old), but the South Carolina DMV took it from me when I got my South Carolina license.
It took me maybe five weeks to get approved although I had a certified five-year driving abstract from New Jersey. I had to get an abstract that included my record for my whole life. However, today was the big day and I was on the road at 7 am on a beautiful Sunday morning.
It did not feel like working. I spoke with people from New York, New Jersey, Detroit, Texas, Ohio and a few other places. I picked up people at the airport, the IHOP, their home, and brought them to the airport, to work, to Wal-Mart, and to hotels. I spoke with a man moving to New Mexico, parents who had brought a child here for a college orientation, two students from Saudi Arabia, and several people who were in town just for a couple days. I also got a little reading in while I waited at the airport, ate my lunch in the car(which I usually do), and even took a short nap.
And best of all Rosanne, I got a number of tips without threatening anyone.
I finally decided when I saw a scene from the "Rosanne" TV show. In the show she was an Uber driver and they showed her driving a man who was sitting in the back seat. He said something like this, "I'm never really sure if I should tip my driver." Rosanne said something like, "well, I picked you up at your house, so I know where you live. It's up to you." It was funnier watching it than reading it, but I said then that I was ready.
I ran into a problem getting approved because they needed to confirm that I was a driver for at least a year and did not have serious violations. Since I had just moved, nothing in South Carolina counted, only my record in New Jersey mattered. My New Jersey license had on it the date it was originally issued(or at least a couple years old), but the South Carolina DMV took it from me when I got my South Carolina license.
It took me maybe five weeks to get approved although I had a certified five-year driving abstract from New Jersey. I had to get an abstract that included my record for my whole life. However, today was the big day and I was on the road at 7 am on a beautiful Sunday morning.
It did not feel like working. I spoke with people from New York, New Jersey, Detroit, Texas, Ohio and a few other places. I picked up people at the airport, the IHOP, their home, and brought them to the airport, to work, to Wal-Mart, and to hotels. I spoke with a man moving to New Mexico, parents who had brought a child here for a college orientation, two students from Saudi Arabia, and several people who were in town just for a couple days. I also got a little reading in while I waited at the airport, ate my lunch in the car(which I usually do), and even took a short nap.
And best of all Rosanne, I got a number of tips without threatening anyone.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
Teaching History
History was always my favorite subject until I discovered political science. There's a lot of history in political science, so you could say history is still my favorite subject. A couple times in my life I seriously considered going back to school to be a teacher and I would have wanted to teach history. However, sometimes you can teach history in different ways.
As a courier, delivering boxes to people, gives me the opportunity to teach a little history. One woman's last name was Hoover and I told her how Herbert Hoover was an engineer and a great humanitarian during World War 1 and there are literally streets in Europe named Hoover in his honor. When he was well into his eighties he liked to work ten hour days in his office, he had an incredible work ethic. Unfortunately he was not able to translate his very successful career into a successful presidency which resulted in the depression. Of course I did this in a minute or two, but it was fun.
Yesterday I told a woman whose last name was Wilson that Woodrow Wilson came from New Jersey, which she did not know. When I referred to her as Mrs. President, she laughed and said I made her day.
I've now had two women with the last name of Cox and I told them about James Cox, who lost a Presidential Election in the 1920's. He came from the mid-west and founded the company, Cox Enterprises which I used to work for.(Cox Auto Trader) The most interesting thing about his election was his running mate, a guy you have heard of- Franklin Delano Roosevelt. How many people know he lost a presidential election?
You never know when some history can be slipped into your life. Just my way of teaching you some history too.
As a courier, delivering boxes to people, gives me the opportunity to teach a little history. One woman's last name was Hoover and I told her how Herbert Hoover was an engineer and a great humanitarian during World War 1 and there are literally streets in Europe named Hoover in his honor. When he was well into his eighties he liked to work ten hour days in his office, he had an incredible work ethic. Unfortunately he was not able to translate his very successful career into a successful presidency which resulted in the depression. Of course I did this in a minute or two, but it was fun.
Yesterday I told a woman whose last name was Wilson that Woodrow Wilson came from New Jersey, which she did not know. When I referred to her as Mrs. President, she laughed and said I made her day.
I've now had two women with the last name of Cox and I told them about James Cox, who lost a Presidential Election in the 1920's. He came from the mid-west and founded the company, Cox Enterprises which I used to work for.(Cox Auto Trader) The most interesting thing about his election was his running mate, a guy you have heard of- Franklin Delano Roosevelt. How many people know he lost a presidential election?
You never know when some history can be slipped into your life. Just my way of teaching you some history too.
Sally The Salamander
When you move into a new house everything of course is new. New painted walls, new appliances, new grass, etc... Sometimes though, you get some unexpected new things. In the first week or two I was in the garage and jumped when I saw something moving quickly against the wall. I thought it was a lizard, but my wife corrected me that it was a salamander. It appeared to go inside the wall, which was not comforting to say the least.
What do we do about the salamander? My wife named her(?) Sally, which didn't make me feel any better. We left the garage door open for hours hoping that Sally would make a break for it, but she stayed with us. When our oldest daughter visited we weren't going to say anything to her about Sally, but Sally came out immediately and my daughter was not happy to see her.
The other day my wife saw Sally when she had a hose in her hand and sprayed her some. She then saw Sally on the driveway and we're hoping she didn't make it back inside the garage. My wife sprayed insect spray around the border of the garage hoping it would keep Sally away.
The good news for Sally is that there are plenty of other garages that are open a lot. Some people leave their doors open all the time, but I don't know why they do that. There are other houses that are being built that have no garage doors, so don't worry about Sally. She's going to find another garage that she can terrorize.
I wonder how long it will take before I can walk into the garage without looking for Sally.
What do we do about the salamander? My wife named her(?) Sally, which didn't make me feel any better. We left the garage door open for hours hoping that Sally would make a break for it, but she stayed with us. When our oldest daughter visited we weren't going to say anything to her about Sally, but Sally came out immediately and my daughter was not happy to see her.
The other day my wife saw Sally when she had a hose in her hand and sprayed her some. She then saw Sally on the driveway and we're hoping she didn't make it back inside the garage. My wife sprayed insect spray around the border of the garage hoping it would keep Sally away.
The good news for Sally is that there are plenty of other garages that are open a lot. Some people leave their doors open all the time, but I don't know why they do that. There are other houses that are being built that have no garage doors, so don't worry about Sally. She's going to find another garage that she can terrorize.
I wonder how long it will take before I can walk into the garage without looking for Sally.
Friday, July 6, 2018
Jeff 2 Beach 0
Not that I'm keeping score, but on Independence Day I did get another victory against the beach. It wasn't pretty and there was a casulty, but it was rewarding.
The plan was to somehow spend 6-7 hours on the beach in the hot sun. I soaked myself with lotion, brought two books in case I needed them, and mentally tried to figure out what I could do for that long a period of time. The forecast was for rain most of the morning, but there were no dark clouds anywhere around.
The wind was there though and I wondered if our umbrella could hold on.(it was still standing tall, some of it, when the end came) I took a picture of the umbrella looking up at it before it started wilting. About an hour or so in, the umbrella was only about 60-70% open. Still, I was in the shade, which is all that mattered.
I was sitting on a chair that was about a quarter of an inch above the sand. I was told that people sit close to the sand to enjoy the experience more-it's more relaxing. I could only think of how to get up from that position and why I had some sand in my mouth. The wind was still blowing, so maybe that's why I tasted sand.
I ate a little, texted updates to my brother and sister, and read a little. I went in the water with my shirt on and then took it off to dry. The wind blew it on the sand which made putting it on, uncomfortable. Eventually, the rescue began when the clouds started moving in. At first there were a few dark ones, but then the reinforcements marched in. At three hours the umbrella was holding on for dear life, but it was still blocking the sun which I still could not see. And then the clouds covered the sun and I knew I was in good shape.
At three and a half hours I was relaxed as I watched the storm come in. Someone said, "maybe it will pass over?" Those were the last words I remember before the raindrops started which were followed by the buckets of water being tossed at us. We rescued the umbrella and made the journey back to the car, soaked from head to toe.
As we pulled out of the State Park where the beach was, there were lines of cars waiting to get in as the rain continued. A few miles later, the sun was out and there was no sign of rain. I was saved that morning, but our umbrella, which fought bravely, did not survive.
We now have a new umbrella with a table I'm told-I just want it to block the sun.
The plan was to somehow spend 6-7 hours on the beach in the hot sun. I soaked myself with lotion, brought two books in case I needed them, and mentally tried to figure out what I could do for that long a period of time. The forecast was for rain most of the morning, but there were no dark clouds anywhere around.
The wind was there though and I wondered if our umbrella could hold on.(it was still standing tall, some of it, when the end came) I took a picture of the umbrella looking up at it before it started wilting. About an hour or so in, the umbrella was only about 60-70% open. Still, I was in the shade, which is all that mattered.
I was sitting on a chair that was about a quarter of an inch above the sand. I was told that people sit close to the sand to enjoy the experience more-it's more relaxing. I could only think of how to get up from that position and why I had some sand in my mouth. The wind was still blowing, so maybe that's why I tasted sand.
I ate a little, texted updates to my brother and sister, and read a little. I went in the water with my shirt on and then took it off to dry. The wind blew it on the sand which made putting it on, uncomfortable. Eventually, the rescue began when the clouds started moving in. At first there were a few dark ones, but then the reinforcements marched in. At three hours the umbrella was holding on for dear life, but it was still blocking the sun which I still could not see. And then the clouds covered the sun and I knew I was in good shape.
At three and a half hours I was relaxed as I watched the storm come in. Someone said, "maybe it will pass over?" Those were the last words I remember before the raindrops started which were followed by the buckets of water being tossed at us. We rescued the umbrella and made the journey back to the car, soaked from head to toe.
As we pulled out of the State Park where the beach was, there were lines of cars waiting to get in as the rain continued. A few miles later, the sun was out and there was no sign of rain. I was saved that morning, but our umbrella, which fought bravely, did not survive.
We now have a new umbrella with a table I'm told-I just want it to block the sun.
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
The Battle of The Beach
Time ran out on Saturday morning as I pulled up to the beach on a hot day ready to do battle against the sun. My big advantage was that it was 5 pm and despite the warm temperatures it was a little cooler than a few hours ago. I was wearing an orange shirt and an orange bathing suit which my son gave me that morning as a hand-me-up. His girlfriend, Danielle, said I looked like a traffic cone and she was probably pretty accurate. I was only wearing flip-flops, I left my socks at home and my feet were naked and exposed.
I had already soaked myself with very strong lotion to protect myself. It took me five minutes to rub it in because I looked like a VERY white man who should not be allowed out in public. Making the trek towards the sand I remembered some of the nightmarish days of my past when I was lugging tons of stuff to the beach while walking on hot coals(or sand). My hat protected my head, but I could feel the sun burning on me, when will it stop?
When the umbrella was put in the sand I quickly found the shade and sat on the blanket, waiting for us to leave. It had been five minutes and as of then, the sun was winning. I did relax a little since there was a breeze, no flies, and a limited amount of people. I left my book in the car, but I didn't want to trek back there to get it, because of the sun, but after an hour or so I made the journey back. I I found some shade on the walk and stood for a couple minutes-to rest.
I did make my way into the water with my shirt and hat still on. There were no rocks in the water and it wasn't cold either, but still the sun burned. Back to the blanket I went where I found that the shade was moving quickly and the water was getting closer to the blanket. Fortunately, it was time to go-two and a half hours later, my first trip to the beach in years. I escaped without any sunburn, so I win!
The plan for July 4th is to spend SIX OR SEVEN hours at the beach. The forecast the night before unfortunately, was for rain all morning. I woke up today to beautiful, sunny skies. And so the battle continues-what am I going to do for SIX hours on the beach?
I had already soaked myself with very strong lotion to protect myself. It took me five minutes to rub it in because I looked like a VERY white man who should not be allowed out in public. Making the trek towards the sand I remembered some of the nightmarish days of my past when I was lugging tons of stuff to the beach while walking on hot coals(or sand). My hat protected my head, but I could feel the sun burning on me, when will it stop?
When the umbrella was put in the sand I quickly found the shade and sat on the blanket, waiting for us to leave. It had been five minutes and as of then, the sun was winning. I did relax a little since there was a breeze, no flies, and a limited amount of people. I left my book in the car, but I didn't want to trek back there to get it, because of the sun, but after an hour or so I made the journey back. I I found some shade on the walk and stood for a couple minutes-to rest.
I did make my way into the water with my shirt and hat still on. There were no rocks in the water and it wasn't cold either, but still the sun burned. Back to the blanket I went where I found that the shade was moving quickly and the water was getting closer to the blanket. Fortunately, it was time to go-two and a half hours later, my first trip to the beach in years. I escaped without any sunburn, so I win!
The plan for July 4th is to spend SIX OR SEVEN hours at the beach. The forecast the night before unfortunately, was for rain all morning. I woke up today to beautiful, sunny skies. And so the battle continues-what am I going to do for SIX hours on the beach?
"Are You The Beer Guy?"
I think a lot of people have trouble believing the old phrase "never say never." It's hard to believe that just about anything is possible, but it is. The next time you doubt that, just think back to the fall of 2016. Two major events happened within a few weeks of each other and both of them seemed nearly impossible. The Chicago Cubs won The World Series for the first time in more than one hundred years and Donald Trump, who had never run for any office, was elected President of The United States. It will probably be a long, long time before two events like this happened so close to each other.
If you had asked me six months ago, is it possible that someone would say these five words to me-"Are you the beer guy?", I would have laughed and said, "no, that would never happen." Nothing against beer, but I've never been confused with being a "beer guy." It's not that I don't drink beer, but I've probably had 20-25 beers since I graduated college in 1982. I can probably recall many of those times I had a beer in the last 36 years.
However, last week, "the impossible" did happen. I've been delivering boxes to stores, offices and a few homes. Once a month I usually have a couple small boxes of beer that are delivered to a person's home. I pulled into the driveway of one home and the guy was out on the porch and he asked me, "are you the beer guy?" And I chuckled and said, "I am right now."
I am "The Sunshine Man'(my business name), I've been "The Candy Man"(owning candy machines) and a couple times a month I am "The Beer Man." And, one day I'll be "The Southern Man," but right now, I'm still working on becoming a southerner.
If you had asked me six months ago, is it possible that someone would say these five words to me-"Are you the beer guy?", I would have laughed and said, "no, that would never happen." Nothing against beer, but I've never been confused with being a "beer guy." It's not that I don't drink beer, but I've probably had 20-25 beers since I graduated college in 1982. I can probably recall many of those times I had a beer in the last 36 years.
However, last week, "the impossible" did happen. I've been delivering boxes to stores, offices and a few homes. Once a month I usually have a couple small boxes of beer that are delivered to a person's home. I pulled into the driveway of one home and the guy was out on the porch and he asked me, "are you the beer guy?" And I chuckled and said, "I am right now."
I am "The Sunshine Man'(my business name), I've been "The Candy Man"(owning candy machines) and a couple times a month I am "The Beer Man." And, one day I'll be "The Southern Man," but right now, I'm still working on becoming a southerner.
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