It's that time of the month again to write about my favorite Uber riders in October. It was a very busy month despite the fact that we have definitely started to see that there are less people visiting us.
BEST COMEBACK BY A RIDER: It was the second time I drove these two young women who were probably between 25-30 years old. Picking them up from their hotel to go to the airport, I helped them with their luggage. One of them had a regular suitcase, but the other woman had a suitcase about twice the size and three times the weight. After picking it up and putting it in the back of my van I said to her, "what's in that? Did you take some furniture from the room?" She smiled and said, "No, it's a body." I didn't ask any more details, but it did make her friend and I laugh.
THE MOST UNUSUAL COMMENT: I picked up this couple in their twenties who were going to a wedding and they were all dressed up and looked like a very professional couple. We were just talking about random things and the guy said to me, "I took her to her first strip club last night." My witty response was, "oh." He continued and told me they were practically kicked out, because they were dancing too much with each other. He said, "they don't like when you do that." I said, "I'll have to make a note of that." Now that I noted it, I hope that info is helpful to you in the future.
THE POSITIVE GUY: I like to think I'm pretty positive, but my last ride last night gave me something to think about. If you're having a rough past week, consider this: I picked up "D"(not his real name), at his hotel. The ride was set-up by a woman since he had only two quarters in his pocket. He was at a wedding the night before and lost his wallet with everything in it including $300 in cash. He knows he had it there, because he tipped the bartender and didn't have it when he left the wedding. They have not found the wallet yet, but he wasn't worried. He told me there was nothing he could do about it, so there was no reason to be upset. He spent the day at the pool relaxing. In the morning he has to put in a report to the police, otherwise he can't get on a plane to go home without showing the police report. He told me, "if I have to spend another two days here, so be it. I love it here." To top things off, in January he was in a motorcycle accident. A car hit him and another car ran over his ankle. They told him he was going to lose his leg, but they were able to save it and he has a plate in it. He somehow works in construction on Long Island and he got his positive attitude from his Dad, although none of his other brothers are positive like him.
THE WOMAN FROM ALASKA: She was in her mid twenties and she accepted a "temporary" job as a physical therapist in Fairbanks, Alaska. Although her 7-10 month job is going to end soon they are trying to keep her from leaving. She's been enjoying doing a lot of the outdoor things in Alaska and of course the scenery has been amazing. She did have a tough time adjusting to the daylight hours which at one point is 22 hours in the day. She told me that it was sundown and then it was sunrise and somehow the people who live there have adjusted to this. At some point after she leaves there will be a period where there is only a few hours of daylight, completely opposite of what she experienced. She loved Alaska.
THE FUNNY MOM FROM PENNSYLVANIA: She was taking her two girls to Medieval Times for their show and dinner when I picked them up. I asked her what brought her to Myrtle Beach and she said, "My girls (8 and 10) were here for dancing, for The Future Strippers of America." She said it so seriously I had to clarify that she was kidding. When I told her about the special game that I used to play with my three kid,(the silent game), she told me about her game. I line the three of them up(a 4 year old too) and I tape three dollar bills to the wall. They have to put their nose on the bill and the last one to move away from the wall gets to keep the $3. She said one game lasted forty minutes! She's very serious about her kids being taught to do chores, because she said, "I have things to do, I'm not a maid." I told her it sounded like a great title for an article or a song-you never know. Finally, our conversations went like this after she was looking around my car:
She said, "Where's the camera?"
I said, "What kind of camera?"
She said, "So you can see what your passengers are doing."
I said, "Why would I want to see what they are doing, I'm driving?"
She said, "What if two girls pass out in the back and then accuse you of doing something you didn't do? I thanked her for her positive story and told her I would always remember our conversation.
THE FUDRUCKER'S GUY: Have you ever had an idea for a great commercial? Maybe it's just me, but I've had a few ideas before and I think this is a very good one. One Saturday night I picked up a couple in their 50's or 60's at a Fudruckers restaurant.(It's not a Burger King, but it's a burger place that's a step up from that) I was taking them only a few miles to a private airport. When I asked how long they had been in North Myrtle Beach, the husband said, "we just came in to have dinner." I said, "really", but I was confused. The wife told me that her husband loves Fudruckers, but they don't have one near them in North Carolina so they came here. They flew 35 minutes in their plane to eat at Fudruckers and it wasn't the first time. I did ask him where they were going for dessert and he told me "nowhere, but we're going to the mountains tomorrow for dinner." I was afraid to ask him what mountains and when I told the story to another rider they said, "I wonder if he actually flew the plane or had a pilot fly the plane." I didn't think of that, but can you see the commercial? They are at the airport, with the leftovers he had in his hand from Fudruckers, telling everyone he just flew in for dinner! Every time I see a Fudruckers I now think of "The Fudrucker's guy," and now you will too!
Monday, October 29, 2018
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
The Winning Ticket is Here!!!
When I say here, I don't mean in my hands. The Mega Millions winning lottery ticket was purchased here in South Carolina. When I woke up this morning and read that news I can't tell you how excited I was. I really couldn't care less. When a woman recently told me she was hoping to win, I proudly told her that I had never lost. She figured it out pretty quickly-I've never played the lottery.
I know that millions of dollars goes to education and charities and that is a good cause, but it's just not for me. The chances of winning anything are extremely low and I can't see throwing out all that money, week after week and month after month. It's not worth it to me and it doesn't look fun at all either.
Years ago when I worked at THE USA TODAY they were collecting for the office every week to play the lottery. When I told someone I wasn't interested, she said, "what if we win and you're the only one who didn't play?" I told her that I'd drive them in a bus to collect their money and I would have no regrets and I'd have a lot of fun driving the bus. She didn't understand my comment, but I've never played, so there was no chance of me winning.
A couple years in a row when I worked at THE USA TODAY, one of the people who reported to me gave me some scratch offs which was very nice of him to do. I gave them to my wife who enjoyed playing once in awhile and one year she won $40 or something like that. I'll never forget going into a convenience store in Staten Island and handing in the card and walking out with money. I felt like I robbed the place. I wasn't excited about it at all.
But, that's just me. There's really nothing wrong with playing the lottery. Just wanted to let y'all know that the winner is here and it's not me and I won't lose any sleep over it tonight either.
I know that millions of dollars goes to education and charities and that is a good cause, but it's just not for me. The chances of winning anything are extremely low and I can't see throwing out all that money, week after week and month after month. It's not worth it to me and it doesn't look fun at all either.
Years ago when I worked at THE USA TODAY they were collecting for the office every week to play the lottery. When I told someone I wasn't interested, she said, "what if we win and you're the only one who didn't play?" I told her that I'd drive them in a bus to collect their money and I would have no regrets and I'd have a lot of fun driving the bus. She didn't understand my comment, but I've never played, so there was no chance of me winning.
A couple years in a row when I worked at THE USA TODAY, one of the people who reported to me gave me some scratch offs which was very nice of him to do. I gave them to my wife who enjoyed playing once in awhile and one year she won $40 or something like that. I'll never forget going into a convenience store in Staten Island and handing in the card and walking out with money. I felt like I robbed the place. I wasn't excited about it at all.
But, that's just me. There's really nothing wrong with playing the lottery. Just wanted to let y'all know that the winner is here and it's not me and I won't lose any sleep over it tonight either.
Monday, October 22, 2018
My Retirement Job
I know that usually when the words "retirement" and "job" are in the same sentence it's about someone retiring from their job. These days it's not that unusual for someone to retire and then get a part-time job. I work with someone who retired from two jobs and has two pensions and now a part-time job.
I've always thought that when I retire I'll probably get some kind of route and deliver something. However, one of my kids came up with the perfect retirement job for me-driving a bus at Disney World. I would love that-it would be a lot of fun at the happiest place in the world. Getting the kids on the bus excited about the day and consoling the parents in the evening after they made it through the day. I'd probably say something to the parents like, "you can do the same thing tomorrow that you did today!"
However, I may have found even a better job for me when I retire. Recently I was driving four young guys around and one of them said something about shuffleboard. I asked, "are you talking about shuffleboard in a bar or on a cruise? (there's table shuffleboard in a bar and there's shuffleboard on the ground)
He works at a resort in Myrtle Beach as the activities person and he referred to himself as a "shuffleboard referee." He said he had to brush up on the shuffleboard rules and has to work hard to settle disputes between players. I told him that my grandmother taught me how to play when I was a kid and we actually had shuffleboard in the backyard of the first house that I bought. It was a lot of fun playing with my own equipment at my house.
I'm not ruling out Disney World, but being a shuffleboard referee in my retirement? What could be better than that?
I've always thought that when I retire I'll probably get some kind of route and deliver something. However, one of my kids came up with the perfect retirement job for me-driving a bus at Disney World. I would love that-it would be a lot of fun at the happiest place in the world. Getting the kids on the bus excited about the day and consoling the parents in the evening after they made it through the day. I'd probably say something to the parents like, "you can do the same thing tomorrow that you did today!"
However, I may have found even a better job for me when I retire. Recently I was driving four young guys around and one of them said something about shuffleboard. I asked, "are you talking about shuffleboard in a bar or on a cruise? (there's table shuffleboard in a bar and there's shuffleboard on the ground)
He works at a resort in Myrtle Beach as the activities person and he referred to himself as a "shuffleboard referee." He said he had to brush up on the shuffleboard rules and has to work hard to settle disputes between players. I told him that my grandmother taught me how to play when I was a kid and we actually had shuffleboard in the backyard of the first house that I bought. It was a lot of fun playing with my own equipment at my house.
I'm not ruling out Disney World, but being a shuffleboard referee in my retirement? What could be better than that?
Keep Your Eyes On The-Ground
The old saying is that people should keep their eyes on the stars, especially young people. It's good advice to have big goals and dreams, but you can also make the case for keeping your eyes on the ground. From a practical standpoint you don't want to trip over, or fall into, or bump into something.
I've written before that if you're looking you can find a lot on the ground. In the last 14 months in New Jersey I found over $90 on the ground. In South Carolina I've picked up some change, but I've spotted some pennies and had no problem walking away without picking it up. But you never know what you can find on the ground.
A few weeks ago I was picking a rider up from the airport. Waiting for him to come out I went to the back of my van to open the door and looked down. One inch from my foot was a cellphone. Somehow I managed to avoid crushing it with my car and I didn't step on it.
Using my technical knowledge I pressed every button to see if it was still working. Suddenly, it went on and the message said that "your Uber driver will be here in 3 minutes." I knew that wasn't me, it had to be the last driver and the phone had to be the last passenger.
I called the driver and left a message and heard from him ten minutes later. He dropped the passenger back at the airport and I dropped my passenger off and went back to return the phone. An older couple was sitting on the bench and they were thrilled to see me and the phone. The husband was recovering from a stroke and needed his wife's assistance and in helping him she dropped her phone.
The couple was from New Jersey of course and I got an extra airport ride, a nice tip, and possibly some future rides with them. Keep in mind that opportunity isn't just a goal way in front of you, you might actually be almost stepping on it.
I've written before that if you're looking you can find a lot on the ground. In the last 14 months in New Jersey I found over $90 on the ground. In South Carolina I've picked up some change, but I've spotted some pennies and had no problem walking away without picking it up. But you never know what you can find on the ground.
A few weeks ago I was picking a rider up from the airport. Waiting for him to come out I went to the back of my van to open the door and looked down. One inch from my foot was a cellphone. Somehow I managed to avoid crushing it with my car and I didn't step on it.
Using my technical knowledge I pressed every button to see if it was still working. Suddenly, it went on and the message said that "your Uber driver will be here in 3 minutes." I knew that wasn't me, it had to be the last driver and the phone had to be the last passenger.
I called the driver and left a message and heard from him ten minutes later. He dropped the passenger back at the airport and I dropped my passenger off and went back to return the phone. An older couple was sitting on the bench and they were thrilled to see me and the phone. The husband was recovering from a stroke and needed his wife's assistance and in helping him she dropped her phone.
The couple was from New Jersey of course and I got an extra airport ride, a nice tip, and possibly some future rides with them. Keep in mind that opportunity isn't just a goal way in front of you, you might actually be almost stepping on it.
Monday, October 15, 2018
Hitting A Home Run Without Hitting a Ball
Since it is October and the World Series is just around the corner, I thought I would use this analogy and get all my sports related stories done at the same time.
Awhile back I wrote about making deliveries to Ms. D.(the "D" may stand for Davis, Davenport or Duck) She was the big New England Patriot's fan who told me seriously that the Patriots lost the Super Bowl because they "ate too many fat foods" that day. The first time I met her I could not make her even chuckle, but she was cracked me up.
I have taunted her with my New York Giant's shirt and hat and I wore my hat into her office last week. Right away, she was laughing at almost anything I said. I tried to bring in a very large number of boxes on my hand truck and one of her patients was holding the door. He said to me, "you're really multi-tasking." I replied, "this is almost as difficult as trying to beat an undefeated football team in the Super Bowl."(which is what the Giants did to the Patriots a few years back)
I thought Ms. D was going to fall on the ground she was laughing so hard. The patients in the waiting room had no clue what was going on, so I told them. I addressed my audience- "the first time I came in here she wouldn't laugh at anything and now look at her." That just got her laughing more and when I asked for her autograph to sign for the delivery, she burst out laughing again.
I felt like bowing as I left the stage, I mean the office. I can't wait to go back there again. It was just like hitting a home run.
Awhile back I wrote about making deliveries to Ms. D.(the "D" may stand for Davis, Davenport or Duck) She was the big New England Patriot's fan who told me seriously that the Patriots lost the Super Bowl because they "ate too many fat foods" that day. The first time I met her I could not make her even chuckle, but she was cracked me up.
I have taunted her with my New York Giant's shirt and hat and I wore my hat into her office last week. Right away, she was laughing at almost anything I said. I tried to bring in a very large number of boxes on my hand truck and one of her patients was holding the door. He said to me, "you're really multi-tasking." I replied, "this is almost as difficult as trying to beat an undefeated football team in the Super Bowl."(which is what the Giants did to the Patriots a few years back)
I thought Ms. D was going to fall on the ground she was laughing so hard. The patients in the waiting room had no clue what was going on, so I told them. I addressed my audience- "the first time I came in here she wouldn't laugh at anything and now look at her." That just got her laughing more and when I asked for her autograph to sign for the delivery, she burst out laughing again.
I felt like bowing as I left the stage, I mean the office. I can't wait to go back there again. It was just like hitting a home run.
Things Aren't As Bad As They Seem
In the sports world there is a saying that a team that is winning a lot is not as good as they look and a team that is losing a lot is not as bad as they look. After watching my NY Giants football team lose again Thursday night and for the 18th time in the last 22 games, I was trying to focus on those words of wisdom.
But we really aren't a part of the sports world. How does that translate to the real world of life?
FRIDAY:
As a courier during the week, Friday is almost always a busy day with Monday being the slowest day. Usually, the busier it is the more money I make, so I do prefer busy days. However, Friday was very slow, even slower than Monday and I was annoyed that I couldn't finish the week off on a good note. I decided there was no way I was going home making so little money. I was going to "Uber" for a few hours after work which I don't think I've done on a Friday.
Before I finished I had one stop of five boxes that should have been an easy,five minute delivery, but turned into about 40 minutes. The address number was 505 and I found it easily. No one answered the door, the phone number I had was wrong, and it didn't look like the right place either. After I confirmed the address with a neighbor, got another phone number and left a message and left a note on the door, I circled around the street to make sure there wasn't a second 505 number. If I didn't deliver the five boxes I would make 10% less that day and I'd have to unload the boxes and then load them again on Monday.
Frustrated, I headed south and pulled over and looked online for the name of the place. It was listed under a real estate office and when I called they told me I had the address wrong and it was 1505. I turned around and drove ten minutes back and finally found the right door. It was on the second floor so I had to carry four large boxes up the stairs with one small box.
It was an older couple and the wife ran a business out of her home. They had been in this rental place three weeks since their house was flooded in the hurricane.
FINAL SCORE: I felt a lot better knowing that I got the office equipment to them today and I was very grateful that I was going home to my own house. And, I made as much money "Ubering" as I did as a courier on Friday.
SATURDAY/SUNDAY
My last ride early Saturday evening was three guys in their twenties going a short distance to a bar/restaurant. I got home at 8 pm and just after 10 pm I got a call from one of the guys. His friend may have left all his keys in my car. I told him I'd run out and check and call him back. I found the keys, but when I went to call him back I discovered it was an Uber number. They had connected him with me without giving him my number.
I spent the next two hours trying to get Uber to contact him again and let him know I have the keys and I was willing to get them to him that night. Since their customer service is only permitted to do a limited amount of things, I got nowhere. I lost a couple hours of sleep and finally on Sunday afternoon I was able to get the keys to its rightful owner.
It was a frustrating day and I actually went four hours without getting a ride which is unusual. However, my last ride of the day turned out to be the best ride of the weekend. I picked up a 17 year-old high school student near my house who needed to go 30 miles north for competitive cheerleading. Since she was graduating in June I started giving her advice on getting scholarships and telling her about the amazing job our youngest daughter, Marisa did and how she did it. We talked about a number of things including how to overcome her nervousness at public speaking and I told her some of my public speaking stories in addition to how my kids and wife are very good at it too.
Since it was her first Uber ride I told her that she will be disappointed in the future since none of those future rides will be as informative and entertaining as this ride. That of course got a laugh, but the ride suddenly changed when she told me she was all her Mom had. When she was a baby, her Dad and brother both drowned. She wanted to go to USC for fashion design and make her Mom proud.
As I was dropping her off I wished her luck and told her, "I hope you get to USC." She said to me, "Thanks so much for your advice, I'll never forget you."
FINAL SCORE: My frustrations with the day really didn't seem very important anymore. This ride turned out to be most money I made on any ride for the weekend and I got a $5 tip on top of it.
LAST THOUGHT: Despite some bumps in the road, it really was a very good weekend. I think my Dad will want to know this: when will the Giants start winning football games since they are obviously not as bad as they look?
But we really aren't a part of the sports world. How does that translate to the real world of life?
FRIDAY:
As a courier during the week, Friday is almost always a busy day with Monday being the slowest day. Usually, the busier it is the more money I make, so I do prefer busy days. However, Friday was very slow, even slower than Monday and I was annoyed that I couldn't finish the week off on a good note. I decided there was no way I was going home making so little money. I was going to "Uber" for a few hours after work which I don't think I've done on a Friday.
Before I finished I had one stop of five boxes that should have been an easy,five minute delivery, but turned into about 40 minutes. The address number was 505 and I found it easily. No one answered the door, the phone number I had was wrong, and it didn't look like the right place either. After I confirmed the address with a neighbor, got another phone number and left a message and left a note on the door, I circled around the street to make sure there wasn't a second 505 number. If I didn't deliver the five boxes I would make 10% less that day and I'd have to unload the boxes and then load them again on Monday.
Frustrated, I headed south and pulled over and looked online for the name of the place. It was listed under a real estate office and when I called they told me I had the address wrong and it was 1505. I turned around and drove ten minutes back and finally found the right door. It was on the second floor so I had to carry four large boxes up the stairs with one small box.
It was an older couple and the wife ran a business out of her home. They had been in this rental place three weeks since their house was flooded in the hurricane.
FINAL SCORE: I felt a lot better knowing that I got the office equipment to them today and I was very grateful that I was going home to my own house. And, I made as much money "Ubering" as I did as a courier on Friday.
SATURDAY/SUNDAY
My last ride early Saturday evening was three guys in their twenties going a short distance to a bar/restaurant. I got home at 8 pm and just after 10 pm I got a call from one of the guys. His friend may have left all his keys in my car. I told him I'd run out and check and call him back. I found the keys, but when I went to call him back I discovered it was an Uber number. They had connected him with me without giving him my number.
I spent the next two hours trying to get Uber to contact him again and let him know I have the keys and I was willing to get them to him that night. Since their customer service is only permitted to do a limited amount of things, I got nowhere. I lost a couple hours of sleep and finally on Sunday afternoon I was able to get the keys to its rightful owner.
It was a frustrating day and I actually went four hours without getting a ride which is unusual. However, my last ride of the day turned out to be the best ride of the weekend. I picked up a 17 year-old high school student near my house who needed to go 30 miles north for competitive cheerleading. Since she was graduating in June I started giving her advice on getting scholarships and telling her about the amazing job our youngest daughter, Marisa did and how she did it. We talked about a number of things including how to overcome her nervousness at public speaking and I told her some of my public speaking stories in addition to how my kids and wife are very good at it too.
Since it was her first Uber ride I told her that she will be disappointed in the future since none of those future rides will be as informative and entertaining as this ride. That of course got a laugh, but the ride suddenly changed when she told me she was all her Mom had. When she was a baby, her Dad and brother both drowned. She wanted to go to USC for fashion design and make her Mom proud.
As I was dropping her off I wished her luck and told her, "I hope you get to USC." She said to me, "Thanks so much for your advice, I'll never forget you."
FINAL SCORE: My frustrations with the day really didn't seem very important anymore. This ride turned out to be most money I made on any ride for the weekend and I got a $5 tip on top of it.
LAST THOUGHT: Despite some bumps in the road, it really was a very good weekend. I think my Dad will want to know this: when will the Giants start winning football games since they are obviously not as bad as they look?
Monday, October 8, 2018
I'm Just Like SpongeBob!
I know how ridiculous that title sounds, but give me a couple minutes to explain:
EXPLANATION FOR THOSE READERS OVER 90 YEARS OLD: Who is SpongeBob? His full name is SpongeBob Squarepants and he is a fictional character in an animated TV show of the same name that was created in 1999 by a marine biologist for Nickleodeon, a cable TV network. It has won many awards over the years for it's creativity and humor. SpongeBob lives in an underwater city called Bikini Bottom.(you know this is fictional and almost twenty years old, because you could never have a city named Bikini Bottom today)
Many years ago when my oldest children were watching the show regularly, we would have dinners all the time where they would go back and forth talking about their favorite SpongeBob episodes. I had never watched an entire show, but I saw bits and pieces and I thought it was at least mildly amusing. However, the constant talk about someone who looks and is a sponge finally got to me. I decided to write a song about SpongeBob, but I didn't know much about the show. My son helped me write the song by giving me information on the characters and events.(he will always deny he had anything to do with it) I wrote the song to the music of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and my first lines were, "One day, SpongeBob will leave us and I"ll cheer."
He's 19 years old now and he's still putting out new episodes which means for the rest of my life I'm going to hear about these episodes. According to Wikipedia(yes, I am quoting them kids), SpongeBob has "generated 13 billion dollars in merchandise revenue" over the years and recently had it's own Broadway show.
How am I like SpongeBob? We certainly don't look alike, since he's a sponge and I'm not. It occurred to me that here I am writing this blog since the end of December and years from now my kids will be sitting around when they get together and talk about me- "remember when Dad wrote about going into the ladies room or pouring orange juice into his cereal?" And another one will say, "how about that silly song he wrote for a job interview or when he compared himself to SpongeBob?" Then they'll probably talk about SpongeBob episodes, again.
This is only my 119th blog post and as of 2012 SpongeBob had 332 episodes and it's a lot more today. I have a long way to go to catch up to him, but sooner or later, "SpongeBob will leave us and I"ll cheer." That's when I'll really make my move.
EXPLANATION FOR THOSE READERS OVER 90 YEARS OLD: Who is SpongeBob? His full name is SpongeBob Squarepants and he is a fictional character in an animated TV show of the same name that was created in 1999 by a marine biologist for Nickleodeon, a cable TV network. It has won many awards over the years for it's creativity and humor. SpongeBob lives in an underwater city called Bikini Bottom.(you know this is fictional and almost twenty years old, because you could never have a city named Bikini Bottom today)
Many years ago when my oldest children were watching the show regularly, we would have dinners all the time where they would go back and forth talking about their favorite SpongeBob episodes. I had never watched an entire show, but I saw bits and pieces and I thought it was at least mildly amusing. However, the constant talk about someone who looks and is a sponge finally got to me. I decided to write a song about SpongeBob, but I didn't know much about the show. My son helped me write the song by giving me information on the characters and events.(he will always deny he had anything to do with it) I wrote the song to the music of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and my first lines were, "One day, SpongeBob will leave us and I"ll cheer."
He's 19 years old now and he's still putting out new episodes which means for the rest of my life I'm going to hear about these episodes. According to Wikipedia(yes, I am quoting them kids), SpongeBob has "generated 13 billion dollars in merchandise revenue" over the years and recently had it's own Broadway show.
How am I like SpongeBob? We certainly don't look alike, since he's a sponge and I'm not. It occurred to me that here I am writing this blog since the end of December and years from now my kids will be sitting around when they get together and talk about me- "remember when Dad wrote about going into the ladies room or pouring orange juice into his cereal?" And another one will say, "how about that silly song he wrote for a job interview or when he compared himself to SpongeBob?" Then they'll probably talk about SpongeBob episodes, again.
This is only my 119th blog post and as of 2012 SpongeBob had 332 episodes and it's a lot more today. I have a long way to go to catch up to him, but sooner or later, "SpongeBob will leave us and I"ll cheer." That's when I'll really make my move.
People In My Car
Each month I'm going to share with you some of the interesting people I've given rides to as an Uber driver. Here are some of my favorites this past month:
RAYMOND BARONE'S MOTHER
If you watched the television show "Everyone Loves Raymond" you know that Raymond's mother, Marie, stole many of the shows with her personality. I did not really have her in my car, but I did pick up a retired couple from Queens and the wife reminded me of her. Her first name was not Marie, but it did start with an "M". (My oldest daughter said I should not use real names so I'll just tell you that her first name was the same name as a famous Beatle's song) She made me laugh many times on the short trip and I actually thought I should have paid her for the ride. One example was when I told her that people here in Myrtle Beach complain about all the traffic during the summer, because the roads are so busy, she said, "Busy, my sidewalk is busy in Queens! There are kids and bicycles and animals and everything going on." I was hoping to get another ride with "M" while they were in town, because I think she could be a stand-up comedian in her retirement.
THE DRONE PILOT
My son was in North Dakota this weekend at the wedding of a close friend who is a drone pilot in the Air Force. While he was there I picked up a drone pilot and gave him a ride in my vehicle. We'll call him Joe, but I have no idea what his real name was. He had just signed up for six years after his first two years and is planning on making a career of it. I thanked him for his service and asked him how he became a drone pilot. He actually thought he was going to work on fixing them, but instead had the opportunity to learn how to fly them. He said that they've become more popular because, "if one crashes it's not a big deal since no one was hurt." I found out that each one cost $20 million dollars, so I told him I thought it would still be a big deal and he laughed and agreed. Another thing I thought was interesting was that he has to be careful on who he tells he's a drone pilot since there are many people who protest drones. Sometimes he just tells people he works on repairing them which I think is too bad. Those people miss out on talking with someone doing something very unique and very challenging. So, don't tell anyone what Joe does.
THE BEST FRIENDS
They flew in from two different cities and left their husbands at home to spend a few days together in Myrtle Beach. We'll call them Lucy and Ethel, because, you know who they are. They were laughing as they got in the car so I knew this was going to be a fun ride. They were best friends since grade school and you could tell they were very close. They had never used Uber so I told them I would make sure it was a great experience for them. They wanted to take a picture of me to show their kids that they really did take an Uber. I told them that my wife was an Uber driver too and they said that she could go shopping with them. They even asked me if my wife likes to go shopping and I said, "what kind of question is that?" They told me there was a Shrimpfest coming up in Little River this weekend about 35 minutes north of us. They invited us to join them(and give them a ride up there) and they would treat us to dinner. We may hear from them and take them up on their offer too. They were so thrilled with their first Uber ride they each gave me a $5 tip!
THE EGYPTIAN, CHRISTIAN PRIEST
By far the most interesting passenger in the past month was the guy I picked up at a church after he presided over a wedding. You can call him Anwar, because it's the only Egyptian name I can think of. I took him to the airport where he was flying back to Indiana where he now lives. I think he laughed at everything I said, which is one reason I liked him. I told him that I was Jewish and he was very enthusiastic about that. He taught me two Egyptian words which I'm going to teach you now. "Coptic" means Egyptian and when we say shalom in Hebrew for hello/goodbye, in Egyptian it sounds like "salem" to say the same thing. He also told me that in Egypt there are more than ten million Christians in Egypt, but they are a large minority. He said the biggest problem they have in Egypt is terrorism from the radical Muslims. He was very outgoing and full of life, which I think is very different than what you would expect a Priest to be. Then again, I don't think I know any priests.
Salem...
RAYMOND BARONE'S MOTHER
If you watched the television show "Everyone Loves Raymond" you know that Raymond's mother, Marie, stole many of the shows with her personality. I did not really have her in my car, but I did pick up a retired couple from Queens and the wife reminded me of her. Her first name was not Marie, but it did start with an "M". (My oldest daughter said I should not use real names so I'll just tell you that her first name was the same name as a famous Beatle's song) She made me laugh many times on the short trip and I actually thought I should have paid her for the ride. One example was when I told her that people here in Myrtle Beach complain about all the traffic during the summer, because the roads are so busy, she said, "Busy, my sidewalk is busy in Queens! There are kids and bicycles and animals and everything going on." I was hoping to get another ride with "M" while they were in town, because I think she could be a stand-up comedian in her retirement.
THE DRONE PILOT
My son was in North Dakota this weekend at the wedding of a close friend who is a drone pilot in the Air Force. While he was there I picked up a drone pilot and gave him a ride in my vehicle. We'll call him Joe, but I have no idea what his real name was. He had just signed up for six years after his first two years and is planning on making a career of it. I thanked him for his service and asked him how he became a drone pilot. He actually thought he was going to work on fixing them, but instead had the opportunity to learn how to fly them. He said that they've become more popular because, "if one crashes it's not a big deal since no one was hurt." I found out that each one cost $20 million dollars, so I told him I thought it would still be a big deal and he laughed and agreed. Another thing I thought was interesting was that he has to be careful on who he tells he's a drone pilot since there are many people who protest drones. Sometimes he just tells people he works on repairing them which I think is too bad. Those people miss out on talking with someone doing something very unique and very challenging. So, don't tell anyone what Joe does.
THE BEST FRIENDS
They flew in from two different cities and left their husbands at home to spend a few days together in Myrtle Beach. We'll call them Lucy and Ethel, because, you know who they are. They were laughing as they got in the car so I knew this was going to be a fun ride. They were best friends since grade school and you could tell they were very close. They had never used Uber so I told them I would make sure it was a great experience for them. They wanted to take a picture of me to show their kids that they really did take an Uber. I told them that my wife was an Uber driver too and they said that she could go shopping with them. They even asked me if my wife likes to go shopping and I said, "what kind of question is that?" They told me there was a Shrimpfest coming up in Little River this weekend about 35 minutes north of us. They invited us to join them(and give them a ride up there) and they would treat us to dinner. We may hear from them and take them up on their offer too. They were so thrilled with their first Uber ride they each gave me a $5 tip!
THE EGYPTIAN, CHRISTIAN PRIEST
By far the most interesting passenger in the past month was the guy I picked up at a church after he presided over a wedding. You can call him Anwar, because it's the only Egyptian name I can think of. I took him to the airport where he was flying back to Indiana where he now lives. I think he laughed at everything I said, which is one reason I liked him. I told him that I was Jewish and he was very enthusiastic about that. He taught me two Egyptian words which I'm going to teach you now. "Coptic" means Egyptian and when we say shalom in Hebrew for hello/goodbye, in Egyptian it sounds like "salem" to say the same thing. He also told me that in Egypt there are more than ten million Christians in Egypt, but they are a large minority. He said the biggest problem they have in Egypt is terrorism from the radical Muslims. He was very outgoing and full of life, which I think is very different than what you would expect a Priest to be. Then again, I don't think I know any priests.
Salem...
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Food Shopping When You're Hungry
It's a no-it's a big no. One of the last things you want to do when you're hungry is tempt yourself walking down food aisles. However, there is but to this:
What if you're not into health food and let's imagine you're taking your mother-in-law to "The Fresh Market" which is like a mini Whole Foods store. Imagine being hungry and walking past the kale and actual leaves and having to touch it too. Imagine this odd-smelling and odd-shaped forestry that you're putting in bags for your mother-in-law to eat. It is guaranteed to reduce your appetite quickly.
Unfortunately, there is chicken and deli and somehow "healthy" ice cream in the store too. Suddenly, your stomach is responding and starting to growl. But, wait! Your mother-in-law is having so much fun in the store you wind up doing a photo shoot, taking pictures of her grinning from ear to ear with vegetables. Then she poses with a large loaf of bread and you take the picture with her mouthing, "no", because she will not buy something like that.
Finally, it's the bran cereal that settles down your stomach as you walk down the aisle and cannot recognize anything that looks like cereal. If I only had a box of Kashi or "Love Grown", it would really make my day. Years ago when my kids were young we went into a Weiss Food Store in Hershey, PA and laughed at the ridiculous names on the cereal boxes. My favorite was, "Best Friends." Can you please pass the milk and the "Best Friends?" I'm not sure "Love Grown" sounds anymore appetizing.
If you are hungry and have to go food shopping, I do have a solution for you. I've been craving Chinese food all year. My wife got sick the last time we had it in NJ and she's not ready to eat it yet. But there's this Chinese Buffet place nearby and it's been haunting me for weeks. With my wife away one more night I drove over to the buffet place after dropping my mother-in-law off after shopping at "The Fresh Market."
I ate for one hour and got home in time to mow the lawn and walk it all off. It definitely was a yes-yes.
What if you're not into health food and let's imagine you're taking your mother-in-law to "The Fresh Market" which is like a mini Whole Foods store. Imagine being hungry and walking past the kale and actual leaves and having to touch it too. Imagine this odd-smelling and odd-shaped forestry that you're putting in bags for your mother-in-law to eat. It is guaranteed to reduce your appetite quickly.
Unfortunately, there is chicken and deli and somehow "healthy" ice cream in the store too. Suddenly, your stomach is responding and starting to growl. But, wait! Your mother-in-law is having so much fun in the store you wind up doing a photo shoot, taking pictures of her grinning from ear to ear with vegetables. Then she poses with a large loaf of bread and you take the picture with her mouthing, "no", because she will not buy something like that.
Finally, it's the bran cereal that settles down your stomach as you walk down the aisle and cannot recognize anything that looks like cereal. If I only had a box of Kashi or "Love Grown", it would really make my day. Years ago when my kids were young we went into a Weiss Food Store in Hershey, PA and laughed at the ridiculous names on the cereal boxes. My favorite was, "Best Friends." Can you please pass the milk and the "Best Friends?" I'm not sure "Love Grown" sounds anymore appetizing.
If you are hungry and have to go food shopping, I do have a solution for you. I've been craving Chinese food all year. My wife got sick the last time we had it in NJ and she's not ready to eat it yet. But there's this Chinese Buffet place nearby and it's been haunting me for weeks. With my wife away one more night I drove over to the buffet place after dropping my mother-in-law off after shopping at "The Fresh Market."
I ate for one hour and got home in time to mow the lawn and walk it all off. It definitely was a yes-yes.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Yes, I Did It Again
Don't worry, I did not pour orange juice into my cereal a third time! If you missed that riveting story, I poured milk into my cereal without turning the light on since it's usually around 5 am. I did eat the cereal both times and I can assure you that Cocoa Krispies do not taste as good with a "tangy" taste. I solved the problem I was having by opening my fridge in the morning and softly chanting, "milk, milk, milk," as I grab the milk.
This mistake I just made is a little more serious and embarrassing.(now you will definitely keep reading) Last night I decided to run into Publix(our food store) and grab a few things before getting home for a late dinner. I was hungry and a little tired after "Ubering" all day, but I didn't really "run" into the store. To be fair, I did not do a "Southern stroll" on a beach as I grabbed a cart and entered the store either.
At that exact moment, nature called and I turned right to use the bathroom. I placed my cart in front of the bathroom area and looked up and found that there were three doors in front of me, men, family restroom, and women. I think it was easier when there were only two options.
I didn't hesitate and went into the bathroom. I did notice there was no urinal, but I figured it was something I really didn't have to have.. As I stood there checking out the tiles on the wall I did recall that I have seen men's bathrooms without urinals from time to time, but one time really stood out in my mind.
Back around twenty years ago when I worked for THE USA TODAY, I was getting up at 2:30 am and frequently found myself exhausted on the ride home in the afternoon. I knew when to stop and one day I stopped at a Wawa convenience store in Flemington. I went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet just to rest my eyes before I threw cold water on my face. A minute or so later I heard the entrance door to the bathroom door open and I thought I heard a women's voice, but no one came in. I thought it was odd and threw the water on my face and walked out of the bathroom to see that it was the women's bathroom. I didn't see the woman who opened the door, but I did exit very quickly.
Back to last night: A thought flashed through my mind, what if this is the women's bathroom? I exited quickly and discovered, yes, I did it again. Fortunately, it was 8 pm and the store was pretty empty so no one knew what I had just done. From now on, when I go to use a public restroom I'm going to softly chant to myself, "men, men, men."
This mistake I just made is a little more serious and embarrassing.(now you will definitely keep reading) Last night I decided to run into Publix(our food store) and grab a few things before getting home for a late dinner. I was hungry and a little tired after "Ubering" all day, but I didn't really "run" into the store. To be fair, I did not do a "Southern stroll" on a beach as I grabbed a cart and entered the store either.
At that exact moment, nature called and I turned right to use the bathroom. I placed my cart in front of the bathroom area and looked up and found that there were three doors in front of me, men, family restroom, and women. I think it was easier when there were only two options.
I didn't hesitate and went into the bathroom. I did notice there was no urinal, but I figured it was something I really didn't have to have.. As I stood there checking out the tiles on the wall I did recall that I have seen men's bathrooms without urinals from time to time, but one time really stood out in my mind.
Back around twenty years ago when I worked for THE USA TODAY, I was getting up at 2:30 am and frequently found myself exhausted on the ride home in the afternoon. I knew when to stop and one day I stopped at a Wawa convenience store in Flemington. I went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet just to rest my eyes before I threw cold water on my face. A minute or so later I heard the entrance door to the bathroom door open and I thought I heard a women's voice, but no one came in. I thought it was odd and threw the water on my face and walked out of the bathroom to see that it was the women's bathroom. I didn't see the woman who opened the door, but I did exit very quickly.
Back to last night: A thought flashed through my mind, what if this is the women's bathroom? I exited quickly and discovered, yes, I did it again. Fortunately, it was 8 pm and the store was pretty empty so no one knew what I had just done. From now on, when I go to use a public restroom I'm going to softly chant to myself, "men, men, men."
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