October Rider Quotes

"It's hard to remember who you are when you're a gypsy."

"My brothers have pretty unique names-Ford, Coleman, Alister and Roswell."

"Are you due for a colonoscopy?"

"I don't like buffets, because people's arm hair can get in the food."

"The doctor said my brain was scrambled in the accident."

"The military has a way of making fun things, not fun."

"You won't wear any sunglasses, but you prefer the arm in front of your face?"(yes I do)

"Did they make pot legal in New York yet?"

"On our European vacation, the four of us drank 67 bottles of wine in ten days, we counted them."

"You should never move to a tourist town."

Green Bay Packer Fan who wasn't drinking: "Can I puke in your New York Giant hat and pretend I don't know what happened?"

"I like New Jersey, it's very much like Myrtle Beach."(really?)

"I hate Monday's.  I remember the smell of Monday from my childhood."

"We got on the golf course early and were almost done by the time it rained.  I talked to God about it before we got here. We made a Trump deal."

"I don't like going on a cruise, it's like going to Golden Corral with a bar."

"You changed my mind about Giant fans."

"Thanks for getting me to work on time.  I'm just glad you weren't an 85 year-old man taking his time.

"Names don't faze me anymore. When I worked in a prison there was an inmate whose real name was, "Stay At Home."

"I'm the only one at work who's doing what they're are supposed to do."

"I've perfected putting on lipstick in the car."

"You ask a lot of questions."  Me: I'm sorry, I won't ask anymore.  Would you like to ask me any? "No, I'm good."($5 tip)

"You're my favorite Lyft driver"($10 tip)

"Tell your wife she has a lovely husband"