My Top 20 Rider Comments of 2020

A week or so ago I put this list on the Uber Facebook site for fellow drivers.  Of course, I first accidentally put it on the regular Facebook site, so there may be a few of you who saw this list.  I've been giving this list out to passengers and I'll continue do so this month and then during the year from time to time.  It was very difficult to pick only 20, but here they are:

 My rider showed me a picture of his wife and when I showed him a picture of my wife, he said with a thick British accent, "Our wives have something in common-they have abominably poor taste in men."

"Our husbands are so needy.  They don't even know how to feed themselves when we're away."

"My Dad named me Marissa after a Playboy bunny he liked.  In my baby book are pictures of the Playboy bunny."

Exhausted male: "I only had five hours of sleep." Me: "I had less than that." He said, "yeah, but I had alcohol and sex."

She had been in Myrtle Beach twenty years, I asked, "where are you from?" She: I'm from my mom." (Some alcohol)

"I can't tell my girlfriend this, but a few years back I made out with Jenna Bush, George W. Bush's daughter.  The Secret Service wasn't happy about it."

When asked how he was managing with the 70-30% ratio of women to men at The College of Charleston, he said, "I have five girlfriends, I'm doing the best I can to keep everyone happy.  This girl(showing a picture) wouldn't give me the time of day at most schools, but here it's slim pickings."

Male: "I've always been disappointed with mini-golf, but I've thought my whole life about "stripper mini-golf."

One female to another: "How's their baby look?" Reply: "It was four weeks early and it looked like it could have baked in the oven a little longer."

From New Year's Eve: she said, "you should hit one of those deer so I can skin it and have deer sandwiches."

"Uber was created so I could go out at night and drink mimosas."

Me: "What kind of work do you do?" Rider: "I'm in death sales. I sell plots, caskets and mausoleums." I can get you 15% off on a casket. Sometimes people ask if they can get the discount later on and I tell them that when it's time, it's too late for the discount."

"I work hard every day of the week, I don't want to chase a little golf ball on the weekend."

Me: "What is the secret to being the top salesperson in your company in the USA?" Him: "I don't give a 'F___'  I tell them you probably can't afford this anyway and I have other things to do.  My girlfriend is hungry and I have to feed her."

Me: "After 36 years of marriage I can tell you that sometimes you win the argument by not winning it." Female: "That's what every F'N man needs to learn in this country."

First guy: "I don't know why my finger hurts." Second guy: "You put it in my mouth at 4 am." First guy: "You bit my finger?"

Female: "When I called my fast food manager on the phone and told her that the doctor said I had a collapsed lung, she said, "are you going to be at work tomorrow?"

 (Woman in her 20's) "All girls are crazy, but you just need to find YOUR OWN crazy."

Female rider: "I hate driving.  If I'm driving, you're going to get hurt." Saying goodbye to me she said, "I hope no one hits you."

"My 99 year-old grandmother is so stubborn. I said to her, "you must have been an awful teenager."

"Do you have any advice on how to find a rich guy in New York City?"

"My husband was balling at our daughter's wedding." The husband joked, "I was balling because it cost me $40,000."