Courier Tales

 I was delivering a small refrigerator to a department in a hospital.  The supervisor wasn't in so I told the nurse who I know, "tell your boss that there's a rule that when you deliver a refrigerator to someone, the next time the delivery person comes back there needs to be a piece of chocolate cake waiting inside of it.  She laughed and said she would tell her boss.  A week or two later I  delivered to the same department and I saw the supervisor.  Before I could say a word, she was smiling(looking at her eyes). I asked about the chocolate cake and she laughed and said, "I don't have any, but I have some cheese." Cheese just doesn't cut it in this situation.

The woman I deliver to who checked out my shorts not to long ago, I've been teasing her each time I make a delivery to her. Today, was different.  I said to her, "I'm wearing my red, Santa Claus shorts today just for you. I watched her eyes and they did not move, she refused to look at my shorts.  I started laughing and said, "you're not even going to take a peek?" She was laughing too, but I think she looked when I walked away.

Greg Norman is a famous golfer and he has a very fancy steak house in North Myrtle Beach.  It's called Greg Norman's Australian Grille and I deliver office products to their office.  The office is located outside the restaurant and up two flights of stairs.  They consistently order a couple boxes of paper, one is 44 pounds and the other is 66 pounds. Carrying them up the stairs one at a time is difficult, but I can still manage.  She did offer to have a young guy do it, but I'm still able to get it done.  The last time I was there she apologized and I made her laugh.  I said, "you know I'm probably the only person in the world who associates Greg Norman's restaurant with pain." To make her laugh more I told her the story below and showed her the picture too.

Delivering to houses and condos and townhouses is usually difficult, but when there's no elevator for the condo, it becomes a little ridiculous. Sometime last year, this customer ordered four very small boxes of paper and I walked them up the four flights to her door.  They weren't heavy and I was very grateful they weren't the larger ones.  I wasn't so lucky this past month.  It was my last stop and I had three, 44 pound boxes and a large box.  I called her on the phone and asked, "did they put in an elevator yet?"  She said, "I'm so sorry.  Can you bring them up to my door?" She wasn't home and I made the four trips.  About half way done, I started to laugh. When I finished, I sat down on the ground next to the paper and made an exhausted face and took a selfie.  I sent it to her and said, "Don't feel badly."  She replied and clearly enjoyed it.

THERE'S A RUN ON COCOA KRISPIES!

 I don't want to alarm you, but this is a serious thing.  My favorite cereal in the morning is Cocoa Krispies, and I'm not the only one.  A few weeks ago I got a text from my wife who was at a Wal-Mart and they had no Cocoa Krispies.  I was "bone dry" and needed some for the next day.  Fortunately, I was about to deliver to another Wal-Mart, but they had none either.  Later in the afternoon I was delivering to another Wal-Mart and they had no Cocoa Krispies.  

I could not believe it! People are hoarding Cocoa Krispies? I understand toilet paper and paper towels, but why do they have to pick my favorite cereal? Have you looked at the cereal aisle? There are hundreds of cereals, where are my Cocoa Krispies?

Fortunately, I did find three boxes on a bottom shelf hidden between hundreds of cereals. I left two boxes for the next lucky consumer.  I went to the register and said to the cashier, "did you know there's a shortage of Cocoa Krispies? Don't tell anyone! He repeated it a little louder than I did and I looked around to make sure no one heard him.

As you can see from below, my selfie with my cereal.  It's very difficult to take a selfie with three boxes of cereal. I may be the only one who has ever done it, but it's not easy.  Don't tell anyone, but I have two boxes hidden in the house in case I run short again. And, I do recommend you use milk and not orange juice, although orange is a really nice color.

April Rider Stories

 THE CHARACTER: I'm sure that this guy has been called a lot of things, but he was very entertaining  and interesting to talk to.  He's a successful broker at 29 and told me that his parents were so poor, "they ate rice and tomatoes three nights a week." His Dad started a construction company and built many places in Daniel Island(near Charleston) and became a millionaire. He said, "I spend a lot of money spoiling my friends. When a girl hears I'm a broker they ask if I have a lot of money.  I tell them I'm not hurting, but the money isn't going to be spent on you sweetie."  He's planning a big bash for his 30th birthday next year with his friends in Las Vegas.  He loves what he does as a broker and was very sincere in wanting to help people.  On the other hand he said, "all my old girlfriends are mad at me, because I've run through all their friends."  He had a Jekyll and Hyde personality, but what a personality.

THE PROFESSIONAL STALKER AND THE AUCTIONEER: This is not your typical Disney movie or ordinary couple.  The wife said she was a "professional stalker", who works for the police department tracking down information on people of interest.  She recently had an "Uber training" where she learned how to track someone through the rides they've taken.  Her husband is an auctioneer, who auctions up a wide range of things, working for someone and as an independent contractor.  I asked him how he kept his voice fresh and he answered, "whiskey." Two people in professions that you rarely hear about and they were fun to talk with also.

THE ASPIRING NURSE: You have to be impressed when a thirty year-old woman gives up a career as a civil engineer to go back to school to be a nurse.  She told me she didn't love what she was doing and made the change, "after watching nurses take care of my Dad after six brain surgeries."  I told her she would be successful in her new career, because she was passionate about it and that would give her an advantage.

THE OTHER SEAN: I picked the server up and could not help but like him.  He had the same name as my son and spelled it the right way too.  Much to my surprise he had just moved from Pennsylvania and lived in the same city as my son.  When I told him my son had just bought a house in another town, that's where this guy had worked.  To top it off, last year was a terrific year for him as it was for my son.  He said, "the pandemic gave me a chance to change my way of life." He needed to start over and get more sunshine and he's enjoying Myrtle Beach and his new job after moving here last summer.  He was only two years older than my son-I couldn't help but like him.

THE ALPHA FEMALE: It was very unfortunate that I only had her in my car for about ten minutes, but she had an incredible story. "What changed my life and made me more positive was being in a terrible car accident. I broke both hips and it took me two years to recover while I was raising my autistic child." She was extremely positive and friendly and she looked about twenty years younger than around fifty.  She worked at a hotel and was definitely a natural for the front desk.  Right now she has a bidding war going on for her services.  She also works in the post office, but she will make the switch as soon as she gets the right offer.  "I tell them, pay me what I'm worth."  I'd hire her and pay as much as I could to keep her, she was delightful to talk to.

THE REALTOR: She did get in my car sipping some wine, but when I asked her where she lived, she got it wrong.  She said, "Charlotte", but then changed it to "Charleston." When I asked her where she was going, she didn't know that either, since her friend had set it up to celebrate her birthday at Top Golf.  I gave her a hard time and she was a good sport about it.  I said, "you don't know where you live or where you are going, how do you sell houses?"  She said to me, " You can kick these asshole people out of your car after a ride, I have to deal with them for months."  She was mad at her husband because he thought they were celebrating her birthday the day after it was and she got no present or card on her birthday.  He made up for it the next day.  She was definitely fun to talk to and she was celebrating her birthday.

The Passing of The Salami

 Let's face it, friends do weird stuff together.  When you visit someone's house for the first time it is customary to bring something, cookies, donuts, cake or a salami.  Sure, it's sounds odd, but why not bring a salami? When my friend Larry visited with his wife, he was carrying a small cooler.  My first thought was that he brought some beer for me(ha ha) or it was a heart that he was keeping cold? I was hoping he wasn't going to show that off. He did once where hospital scrubs visiting me in the hospital and I almost burst my stitches seeing that.

Larry remembered that I could not find a salami when I was in New Jersey which was one of my my favorite foods that I haven't been able to eat to celebrate my 60th birthday last year.  (I may only have two things left, gefilte fish and a Carvel flying Saucer-what a combo)

This salami was special.  Larry didn't just drive it down from New Jersey.  He drove from New Jersey down to Charleston, South Carolina and the salami spent a few days in Charleston before heading north to Myrtle Beach.

I rewarded the salami by cutting a few slices to eat at dinner and then making a great salami sandwich for the next day.  I love it, it was amazing.  Larry, who has a way with words, said, "I was hoping the salami would have lasted longer." Are you kidding? I could have eaten it all for dinner.

Below is the picture of Larry passing the salami to me, I'm going to have to find one on my next trip to bring home, or I could eat it on the way!

Gifting The Hygienist

 Let's face it, if you go back to your dentist the day after your appointment and you have no appointment and no problem, it's pretty odd.  I deliver to dentist offices, but I was going back with a few gifts in a gift bag.  Since I was going to the dentist, I was compelled to brush and floss first.  I knew I wasn't taking off my mask and I wasn't leaving the waiting room, but I couldn't help it.  I was grinning from ear to ear as I walked into the office and told the receptionist why I was there.

"TY" came out a few minutes later and you could tell she was excited to see what I brought.  I reached into the bag and pulled out a plastic bag that had as an extra "treat", my favorite rider comments of 2020.  We had talked about that and she is going to get some good laughs out of it.  Then, she pulled out the box of thin mints. There was only one sleeve, because there's no way I'm giving her two sleeves of my favorite cookies. She said, "I've never gotten a gift like this." I told her she shouldn't show it to her boss or eat it in the office. I was thinking, what a great way to keep your teeth healthier-give your hygienist half of your cookies!

She asked if I had made the lettering on the notebook and of course I did.  She said, "I can't wait to show my fiancee. He thinks he's funnier than I am."  I told her, "all men think that." Sometimes they are funnier, but there's no way her fiancee is funnier than she is, I don't think it 's possible.

I told her that when I return in six months I will add another blog(this one) to her notebook and each time I visit I'll add another one. I have to ask her what her fiancee said, how were the cookies, and did she enjoy reading the blogs and of course how was the wedding!  And, next time I go, I'm going to take notes in the chair when she's working on my mouth!