MAY RIDER STORIES

 DRIVING MARY POPPINS: Ok, she wasn't Mary Poppins, but she did have a great British accent and she was wearing a hat.  I picked her and her boyfriend up on one of the plantations and before we drove out of there I had both of them laughing about my British race car driver and when a I taught four British teenagers about the Beatles.  This was my favorite ride of the month.  She loved the movie "Mary Poppins" and also "Saving Mr. Banks, " and even tried a little to sing  the song, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Originally from Ireland I believe, they've lived in New York City the past two years.  She was delightful and had a wonderful laugh and her boyfriend teased her that it was a bit much. This is one of those rides I would have liked to have a video of to show how how much fun you can have on an Uber ride.  And yes, I did call her "Mary" a few times and she enjoyed it. 

THE NAVY GUYS IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE: I am pretty sure there is a Twilight Zone episode where military guys or astronauts are on a special mission and then they return and everything has changed.  It really happened to my two Navy riders in 2020.  On a submarine with 140 others on a special mission they had no contact with the outside world and did not know about the pandemic.  When they returned in June they were shocked.  One guy said, "It weirded me out.  I went to shake hands with someone and they told me that we don't do that anymore.  I couldn't believe it, we don't shake hands?" On their first stop in another country they made their own masks out of their own t-shirts and were restricted to the dock area.  They seem to be adjusting just fine and are happy to be on land.

THE MYSTERY GUY: There are some people I will remember for a very long time, but it's unusual for that to be someone I gave a very short ride too.  He lives in a pretty unique looking house in Murrell's Inlet not too far from where I live.  He was very personable and told me that he manages rental properties.  We had some discussion about it being a pretty good business to be in and then he said, " I don't want to talk about what I do for a living." I asked, "Are you in the CIA?" He replied, "You would either thank me or curse me." Now I was really curious so I asked, "Can you write it on a piece of paper and I won't look at it until you leave or put it on the app?" He laughed, but he didn't do it.  My best guess is that he was involved in politics and I really would have enjoyed talking to him about that.  If I see him again, I'll ask him directly, but tell him why I want to know. It was an interesting ride.

THE RETIRED PHOTOGRAPHER: The retired Air Force photographer was voted best military photographer of the year seven times.  He told me that it took him about two years to get adjusted to being retired. I asked him a few questions and only a couple minutes before the ride ended I asked the best question, "what do you spend most of your time doing now?" His answer was, ""I do a podcast called "Last Letters." I interview people with a simple question, " If tomorrow was your last day on earth, what would your last letter be?"  I told him that I was glad I asked that question and I was looking forward to checking it out.  I was laughing because I was interviewing someone who I didn't know was interviewing others.   

THE FEMALE MARINER: There are some occupations you never hear about and a mariner is certainly one of them.  I picked the woman up at a boating supplies store and brought her to the marina.  She was traveling with an older couple and helping them bring their boat from Florida up to Massachusetts.  She's a freelancer and helps take care of and transport boats.  I asked her what is it that attracts her to the sea and she said, "I like being at sea and seeing something at that moment that no one else is seeing." When she was younger she took a trip around the world and learned a lot about navigating.  Unfortunately, my time with her was short, but I did learn some things.

THE POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR:  When she got in the car she was carrying a big bouquet of flowers.  I said, "you didn't have to get that for me."  She laughed when I reached out for it, but when she needed to close the door with two hands, she agreed to hand it to me and I said, "I knew they were for me." When she started talking to me I thought she was much older than 22, she was very poised.  She had graduated the day before and I got to talk to her about politics.  Her Dad works in Washington D.C. as a lobbyist and has been very successful and is pretty well known.  She was following in his footsteps.  She's more interested in working on policy changes than elections and I'm certain she will do well.  She said of politics, "Political Science doesn't have to be one side against the other, we are all Americans." When I dropped her off I got to say hello to her Dad and told him that I loved talking politics with her.

I Did Something Today I Haven't Done Since Reagan Was President

 It was an unusual day as I drove to work at 4:30 am.  I realized that the last time I gave notice on a full-time job was in 1984.  It was 37 years ago and I don't remember giving notice that day.  I was 24 years old and since then I have been fired and laid off twice.

It wasn't your normal resignation letter, it ran a full two pages. I've been there for over three years and it really has been very good.  Fortunately, my supervisor, (a Yankee fan from NJ), has the same work ethic that I do and he's been terrific. He's retiring in two weeks, so I couldn't leave before him.  The company has started delivering for two different food companies and it's really been awful. I told them I had no interest in spending a few hours every day delivering one box of food to a bunch of houses.  It takes way too long and it's actually very difficult due to dirt roads, no numbers on houses, no phone numbers and houses spread out way too far.

I'm going to consider myself semi-retired and instead of Ubering only two days a week I will probably do that 3-4 days a week depending on the week.  I'll have a chance to blog more (lucky for you), catch up on my reading, get some more exercise and lose some COVID weight and do some more things with my wife. I may even slow down some, maybe.

Future blogs will contain some ideas have of things to do and I promise they will be entertaining to read.  So, Friday June 25th, is my last day of full-time work after almost 39 years.  Since I worked a number of the years 50 or more hours a week, I probably have worked 50 years but whose counting.  Well, there's only 21 days to go so I guess I'm counting 

Tom Carvel Gets a New Customer

In 1929 at the age of 23, Tom Carvel started selling soft ice cream on a vendor truck.  Five years later and 82 years ago on Memorial Day, he got a flat tire next to a pottery store.  With his ice cream melting he made a deal with the pottery store to sell his ice cream in the store and he sold out that day.  In 1951, he celebrated his 100th store and introduced my favorite Carvel ice cream, the flying saucer pictured below.

The flying saucer was one of only two foods left from my celebration of my 60th birthday last year and I was going to eat one in NJ a week or so ago.  I had it all planned out that I would leave my daughter's house and on my way to my sister's house, I was going to stop in Somerset, NJ and GET ME SOME!

When I arrived at my daughter's to have lunch she said she had desert for me and I knew immediately. I told her I had a surprise for her.  Sure enough, after a great Italian lunch at a local restaurant, she "surprised" me with a Carvel flying saucer.  I told her I was going to get one anyway, but the bigger surprise was that my son-in-law, had never had one and he loved it.  The picture below is us just before we enjoyed it.

I have a feeling I'm going to eat one at their house again and I can't wait!

60 Delicious Minutes With Colonel Sanders

 At the age of 65, Harlan Sanders ran a very popular service station that served food.  When the government decided to re-route a highway away from his business, he sold it and hit the road.  He drove to restaurants across the country making and selling his Aunt's fried chicken and getting a nickel for every chicken the restaurant sold. He turned that experience into Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Imagine how good his car smelled!  I was in a "chicken mood" last Friday as I headed north to visit family.  I pulled into the KFC and picked up a passenger, his picture is below.

I was in luck, they had a special deal! I could get a small bucket of dark meat, ten pieces for $10.  They were all small pieces which was perfect for driving and eating and singing in between bites.  I dipped my hand in the bucket and pulled out one piece after another.  They really were "finger licking good." My van smelled amazing too, what a great deal!  The last two pieces I took my time with, but I lost count.  Maybe I got 11 pieces?

So, if you're driving long distance and are feeling a little lonely, stop in to KFC and give the colonel a ride.  I didn't get a tip from this passenger, but he might be my favorite rider of the month.

WHAT DID THEY SAY-A COURIER TALE

 Every once in a while you hear someone say something that surprises you.  It may be funny or strange or both, but rarely do you get to hear two things like that in one day. (unless of course you're an Uber driver) Today, was one of those days.  It was a long day and the weather was not very good, but we haven't had much rain lately.  These two comments though, made the day memorable.

Delivering to houses can be very difficult, finding the street and the house and sometimes even the front door, believe it or not.  I drove into a small neighborhood that had about a dozen small buildings that had maybe 4-5 condos or apartments lined up next to them.  I was delivering a box of food and it was the first time I was in that neighborhood.  The neighborhood had an address and it looked like each group of buildings had a number and each door had a letter.  The information I had was missing a building number and a door letter.  I called the customer and he called me back.  I told him I was in his neighborhood and asked, "where are you?" He replied immediately, "I'm outside, behind the pole." 

I probably laughed but told him he has to give me more information that that. I looked a distance to my right and saw a guy with a green shirt and sure enough it was him. How is it some people don't know how to give directions or the location they live? I have no idea, but he was behind a pole.

The second story happened when I pulled up to a medical building and got out of the car and started walking towards the front door.  There was a woman in the space next to me and she was standing outside the car. I thought she was going to ask me directions, but instead she said, "do you know how to shut off a car alarm?" I probably didn't, but I did pause and I noticed she was holding the car manual in her hand.  I told her the truth that I probably didn't, but then it dawned on me I did not hear an alarm. I asked her if her alarm had been on and she said, "it's on now." 

I leaned towards the car and heard nothing and then I realized there was a loud bird on top of the building making a lot of noise. I asked, "are you talking about the bird?" She thought the bird was her car alarm. My day may not have been the best day, but how about that woman? Could her car alarm actually sound like a bird?

April Rider Comments

 Male chef the day before Easter: "I wanted to cook rabbit for Easter, but several people said it would traumatize the kids."

Wife: "The first time he cooked for me he put Italian dressing in the pasta sauce. It was horrible, I threw up." Husband: "I didn't have enough sauce, it was delicious."

He bought me a Gatorade because, "it's important to hydrate." Me: "After I drop you off I'm going to de-hydrate at a gas station." Him: Well, I live on a dirt road and you can de-hydrate all you want there."

Female Air Force cadet: "My Dad started teaching me to fly when I was two years old.  There's a picture of me sitting on three pillows in a cockpit."

She: "I'm a Professional Stalker, working for the police to help track down information about suspects."

Wife: "When a waitress complimented me on my British accent, my husband said, "Try being married to her for 22 years. It's like nails on a chalkboard." (kidding)

Me: "I've given 5,000 rides in this car. Him:(with his girlfriend sitting next to him) I've given 5,000 rides too."

The last young guy got out of my car after they didn't find me amusing.  He said, "Don't tell no more jokes."

Wife: "When a man offered to help me carry out two cans of paint, my husband said, "she can handle it.  She had a baby come out sideways and had no problem."(not true)

Him: "I like assholes, we get along well."

Male: "If you make me laugh, I'm going to have to piss in your car."

"My loser-ass husband took me out on my birthday to my favorite restaurant in downtown Charleston and he didn't make reservations.  Then, he didn't give me a card or present and said he thought we were celebrating the next day." (He came through the next day)

Male: "My parents were dirt poor and at rice and tomatoes three nights a week.  My Dad started his own construction business and built a lot of things on Daniels Island and became a millionaire."

She: "I had an Uber driver who does stand-up comedy and he tries his material out in the car and gives you a card to come see his show.  He said he was famous, but I didn't think he was that funny."

Male broker: "When a girl hears I'm a broker they ask if I have a lot of money.  I tell them I'm not hurting, but the money isn't going to be spent on you sweetie."

Male: "The pandemic gave me a chance to change my way of life."

Male: "You can't talk English with a New Jersey accent in Europe and expect to be understood."

She: "I've had a couple drivers cancel me this week, can you see what they write about me?"

Resident of Daniel Island she said, "You need to sit your ass on Daniel Island, because no one can get a ride there."

Picking him and his friends up at a strip club he dropped his wedding ring near my car.  After a couple minutes he said, "I can't find it, it's okay." I started to get out of the car and said, "it may be okay now, but it won't be tomorrow." He found it.

She: "My Mom has told me many times-"I love you, but I don't always like you."

After telling her that a guy said that he thought the Ravenel Bridge looked like "The Golden Arches," she went off on him. She said, " what part of math do you not understand? The golden arches are round and the bridge shows two triangles!"

Her: "what changed my life and made me more positive was being in a terrible car accident. I broke both hips and it took me two years to recover while I was raising my autistic child."

Her: "I'm going to get my lips done. When I stop wearing my mask I want people to see something different."

Female Realtor: "You can kick these asshole people out of your car after a ride, I have to deal with them for months."

Female: "I was a civil engineer, but I didn't love it. I went back to school to be a nurse when I was 30 after watching nurses take care of my Dad after six brain surgeries."

Him: "All my old girlfriends are mad at me, because I've run through all their friends."

His last name was pronounced something like "Booberel" and he explained it by saying his parents made a lot of mistakes.  They were married at some point, but it all started in a KFC bathroom."

The sign in the back window of the car said, "Kids up in this bitch." I asked my female passenger what it meant and she said, "I think the driver is more confused than we are."

Picking her up at a sleazy hotel early in the morning she said, "Are the women approaching you?" Me: "Not yet."

I asked the professional auctioneer how he kept his voice fresh and his reply was simple-"whiskey."

She asked me, "Why are you living your best life?" Me: "For one, I'm married to an amazing woman for 37 years."

She: "I'm the Alpha Female."(a person in charge) "Pay me what I'm worth," she's told employers.

I worked five years on a Texas oil rig and it was very rewarding and I had a sense of accomplishment.  I once worked 42 straight hours until I needed a break."

Her favorite Red Sox player of all time was Jason Varitek, "because he was good looking." Her husband added, "she thought he had a great ass."

Die hard Red Sox fan said, "our son married a big Yankee fan and recently sent us a picture of the two of them after getting their COVID shot.  She was wearing a Yankee hat, but he sent a revised pick with the hat changed to a Red Sox hat."

She explained that, "Minnesota Friendly" is when you first say goodbye you're just telling people that you're going to leave, but you're not leaving yet." 

She: "I went to the orientation at law school and knew that I didn't have the enthusiasm that others did there, so I quit to become a teacher. Everyone told me not to become a teacher."

After telling him a number of Red Sox stories, the Red Sox fan said, "this is the best Uber ride I've ever had."

Male: "You should invest in my business, you're the kind of person who can invest."

Me: "What do you do in retirement?" Her: "I mess around a lot."

"My friend's son who is around 26 flew from Pennsylvania to Myrtle Beach to get his shot."

Me: "How did you learn how to fly?" Woman going into the Air Force: "Not on purpose.  I was sitting next to the pilot and my Dad asked if I wanted to fly. He gave me the basics and I did it for a few minutes."

As he handed me an $8 cash tip, the male Domino's driver said, "we delivery people need to stick together."

"You're the coolest person I ever met from New Jersey." (I might be the only one)

Male: "My Dad gave me a shovel when I was 12 years old and put me to work for a lot of years."

Male: "I spend a lot of money spoiling my friends. I already have plans to celebrate my 30th birthday in Vegas with them."

Female: "Thanks for the normal conversation, it's the only one I'll have today."

Me: "Have you ever seen a swing bridge?" Young woman: "You mean like the one in Indiana Jones?"

Pulling up at her workplace she hesitated and said, "Do I want to go in?"

Dallas Cowboy fan living in Texas: "I like the Giants too because their uniforms are blue."

Former New Yorker, he said, "Being down here now I don't know how I was raised in New York."

The two girls seemed to be a little annoyed that the guy had ordered an Uber about an hour early. I said, "I give you a lot of credit for planning ahead, it can be difficult getting a ride." His girlfriend said, "you don't have to hype him, he's his own hype-man."(in sales)

Indianapolis woman: "We just came from a dump of snow" and "I'll take Charleston over an NBA game every time." (Indiana is known for loving basketball)

Male cadet: "The Citadel makes you a better person and there are a lot of good people to hang around with.:

Male missing his phone Sunday- "It sounds like a Monday problem."

Oregon woman: "The food in Oregon is amazing, you can get anything you want and it's a high quality."

Portland woman: "The news media exaggerates everything. The rioting in Portland was only in a four block radius."

Female: "It really helped me growing up in a military family.  You never know what's going to happen so you have to be prepared."

"I was surprised that so many cadets at the Citadel don't have their driver license yet at 19-20 years old."

Me: "What does the Ravenel bridge look like to you?" Male: "The Golden Arches?"

Me: "During the long periods of time between sales presentations what do you all do?" She: "We stuff our faces with food."

Female bartender: "I'm so glad I got you to drive me."

She: "We sold 3,700 Easter items the day before Easter at the Dollar Store."

She: "I wear a lot of black, because I'm not into fashion."

Me: "You're very good at asking questions." Him: "That's the only way you get answers."

She: "The people in Pennsylvania are naturally pissed off."

Female bartender: "I told the guy that his girlfriend needed to go home and a few minutes later she started peeing on herself.  The clueless boyfriend tried to clean it up with a cup."

Vascular Surgeon: "We had around 90 COVID patients in our hospital and now we have in the single digits."

Dog trainer: "Dogs need structure and training first and then affection for the actions you want them to take."

Me: "Would you like a trivia question?" Her: "Is this like the cash car?"

When I told them how the horse carriage is directed through town, she said, "I can't even maneuver my car well."

Him: "Having love in my life is the very best thing."

Him: "I think I would have been very successful in Greek times."

The male Massachusetts Red Sox fan said, "I like the Yankees too because of their hats."

"We had a New Year's Eve in Indiana that was 60 degrees below zero."

She: "in between sales appointments we stuff our face with food.'

Male restaurant owner: "you don't want to be in the restaurant business when you're older, it's a tough business."

He told me that he has had a lot of different careers, but finally found that being a chef was the right one. I said, "that just means you're a man of many talents." He said, "I don't know about that." I said, "Let's debate it, I'll debate for you and you debate against you."