April Rider Comments

 Male chef the day before Easter: "I wanted to cook rabbit for Easter, but several people said it would traumatize the kids."

Wife: "The first time he cooked for me he put Italian dressing in the pasta sauce. It was horrible, I threw up." Husband: "I didn't have enough sauce, it was delicious."

He bought me a Gatorade because, "it's important to hydrate." Me: "After I drop you off I'm going to de-hydrate at a gas station." Him: Well, I live on a dirt road and you can de-hydrate all you want there."

Female Air Force cadet: "My Dad started teaching me to fly when I was two years old.  There's a picture of me sitting on three pillows in a cockpit."

She: "I'm a Professional Stalker, working for the police to help track down information about suspects."

Wife: "When a waitress complimented me on my British accent, my husband said, "Try being married to her for 22 years. It's like nails on a chalkboard." (kidding)

Me: "I've given 5,000 rides in this car. Him:(with his girlfriend sitting next to him) I've given 5,000 rides too."

The last young guy got out of my car after they didn't find me amusing.  He said, "Don't tell no more jokes."

Wife: "When a man offered to help me carry out two cans of paint, my husband said, "she can handle it.  She had a baby come out sideways and had no problem."(not true)

Him: "I like assholes, we get along well."

Male: "If you make me laugh, I'm going to have to piss in your car."

"My loser-ass husband took me out on my birthday to my favorite restaurant in downtown Charleston and he didn't make reservations.  Then, he didn't give me a card or present and said he thought we were celebrating the next day." (He came through the next day)

Male: "My parents were dirt poor and at rice and tomatoes three nights a week.  My Dad started his own construction business and built a lot of things on Daniels Island and became a millionaire."

She: "I had an Uber driver who does stand-up comedy and he tries his material out in the car and gives you a card to come see his show.  He said he was famous, but I didn't think he was that funny."

Male broker: "When a girl hears I'm a broker they ask if I have a lot of money.  I tell them I'm not hurting, but the money isn't going to be spent on you sweetie."

Male: "The pandemic gave me a chance to change my way of life."

Male: "You can't talk English with a New Jersey accent in Europe and expect to be understood."

She: "I've had a couple drivers cancel me this week, can you see what they write about me?"

Resident of Daniel Island she said, "You need to sit your ass on Daniel Island, because no one can get a ride there."

Picking him and his friends up at a strip club he dropped his wedding ring near my car.  After a couple minutes he said, "I can't find it, it's okay." I started to get out of the car and said, "it may be okay now, but it won't be tomorrow." He found it.

She: "My Mom has told me many times-"I love you, but I don't always like you."

After telling her that a guy said that he thought the Ravenel Bridge looked like "The Golden Arches," she went off on him. She said, " what part of math do you not understand? The golden arches are round and the bridge shows two triangles!"

Her: "what changed my life and made me more positive was being in a terrible car accident. I broke both hips and it took me two years to recover while I was raising my autistic child."

Her: "I'm going to get my lips done. When I stop wearing my mask I want people to see something different."

Female Realtor: "You can kick these asshole people out of your car after a ride, I have to deal with them for months."

Female: "I was a civil engineer, but I didn't love it. I went back to school to be a nurse when I was 30 after watching nurses take care of my Dad after six brain surgeries."

Him: "All my old girlfriends are mad at me, because I've run through all their friends."

His last name was pronounced something like "Booberel" and he explained it by saying his parents made a lot of mistakes.  They were married at some point, but it all started in a KFC bathroom."

The sign in the back window of the car said, "Kids up in this bitch." I asked my female passenger what it meant and she said, "I think the driver is more confused than we are."

Picking her up at a sleazy hotel early in the morning she said, "Are the women approaching you?" Me: "Not yet."

I asked the professional auctioneer how he kept his voice fresh and his reply was simple-"whiskey."

She asked me, "Why are you living your best life?" Me: "For one, I'm married to an amazing woman for 37 years."

She: "I'm the Alpha Female."(a person in charge) "Pay me what I'm worth," she's told employers.

I worked five years on a Texas oil rig and it was very rewarding and I had a sense of accomplishment.  I once worked 42 straight hours until I needed a break."

Her favorite Red Sox player of all time was Jason Varitek, "because he was good looking." Her husband added, "she thought he had a great ass."

Die hard Red Sox fan said, "our son married a big Yankee fan and recently sent us a picture of the two of them after getting their COVID shot.  She was wearing a Yankee hat, but he sent a revised pick with the hat changed to a Red Sox hat."

She explained that, "Minnesota Friendly" is when you first say goodbye you're just telling people that you're going to leave, but you're not leaving yet." 

She: "I went to the orientation at law school and knew that I didn't have the enthusiasm that others did there, so I quit to become a teacher. Everyone told me not to become a teacher."

After telling him a number of Red Sox stories, the Red Sox fan said, "this is the best Uber ride I've ever had."

Male: "You should invest in my business, you're the kind of person who can invest."

Me: "What do you do in retirement?" Her: "I mess around a lot."

"My friend's son who is around 26 flew from Pennsylvania to Myrtle Beach to get his shot."

Me: "How did you learn how to fly?" Woman going into the Air Force: "Not on purpose.  I was sitting next to the pilot and my Dad asked if I wanted to fly. He gave me the basics and I did it for a few minutes."

As he handed me an $8 cash tip, the male Domino's driver said, "we delivery people need to stick together."

"You're the coolest person I ever met from New Jersey." (I might be the only one)

Male: "My Dad gave me a shovel when I was 12 years old and put me to work for a lot of years."

Male: "I spend a lot of money spoiling my friends. I already have plans to celebrate my 30th birthday in Vegas with them."

Female: "Thanks for the normal conversation, it's the only one I'll have today."

Me: "Have you ever seen a swing bridge?" Young woman: "You mean like the one in Indiana Jones?"

Pulling up at her workplace she hesitated and said, "Do I want to go in?"

Dallas Cowboy fan living in Texas: "I like the Giants too because their uniforms are blue."

Former New Yorker, he said, "Being down here now I don't know how I was raised in New York."

The two girls seemed to be a little annoyed that the guy had ordered an Uber about an hour early. I said, "I give you a lot of credit for planning ahead, it can be difficult getting a ride." His girlfriend said, "you don't have to hype him, he's his own hype-man."(in sales)

Indianapolis woman: "We just came from a dump of snow" and "I'll take Charleston over an NBA game every time." (Indiana is known for loving basketball)

Male cadet: "The Citadel makes you a better person and there are a lot of good people to hang around with.:

Male missing his phone Sunday- "It sounds like a Monday problem."

Oregon woman: "The food in Oregon is amazing, you can get anything you want and it's a high quality."

Portland woman: "The news media exaggerates everything. The rioting in Portland was only in a four block radius."

Female: "It really helped me growing up in a military family.  You never know what's going to happen so you have to be prepared."

"I was surprised that so many cadets at the Citadel don't have their driver license yet at 19-20 years old."

Me: "What does the Ravenel bridge look like to you?" Male: "The Golden Arches?"

Me: "During the long periods of time between sales presentations what do you all do?" She: "We stuff our faces with food."

Female bartender: "I'm so glad I got you to drive me."

She: "We sold 3,700 Easter items the day before Easter at the Dollar Store."

She: "I wear a lot of black, because I'm not into fashion."

Me: "You're very good at asking questions." Him: "That's the only way you get answers."

She: "The people in Pennsylvania are naturally pissed off."

Female bartender: "I told the guy that his girlfriend needed to go home and a few minutes later she started peeing on herself.  The clueless boyfriend tried to clean it up with a cup."

Vascular Surgeon: "We had around 90 COVID patients in our hospital and now we have in the single digits."

Dog trainer: "Dogs need structure and training first and then affection for the actions you want them to take."

Me: "Would you like a trivia question?" Her: "Is this like the cash car?"

When I told them how the horse carriage is directed through town, she said, "I can't even maneuver my car well."

Him: "Having love in my life is the very best thing."

Him: "I think I would have been very successful in Greek times."

The male Massachusetts Red Sox fan said, "I like the Yankees too because of their hats."

"We had a New Year's Eve in Indiana that was 60 degrees below zero."

She: "in between sales appointments we stuff our face with food.'

Male restaurant owner: "you don't want to be in the restaurant business when you're older, it's a tough business."

He told me that he has had a lot of different careers, but finally found that being a chef was the right one. I said, "that just means you're a man of many talents." He said, "I don't know about that." I said, "Let's debate it, I'll debate for you and you debate against you."