My Last Day Working Full-Time

 It was thirty eight years and seven months ago that I started my first full-time job at Pace University in New York City working in the Student Activities Office as an Activities Coordinator.  The first couple full-time jobs I wasn't in for very long, but it was a start to my career.

About two months ago, I decided that I wasn't going to continue working full-time as a courier and on Friday I left the job as an independent contractor after close to 3 1/2 years.  The company had gotten into delivering to more homes recently and I had enough of driving on dirt roads and walking up flights of stairs and looking for houses with no numbers on them.  It was taking me an extra hour or two or sometimes three hours and the compensation was not nearly enough.

Financially, there have been a number of things that have happened this year to help, including an inheritance when I lost my Dad a few months ago.  With the demand for Uber rides at a very high level and there being a shortage of drivers, it makes sense to Uber another day or two in addition to the weekend.  With my supervisor retiring in the middle of June, I gave four weeks notice so I could help with the transition. Transitions almost never go smoothly and as I expected, this one did not either.

Friday was my final day and I arrived at work at around 4:40 am. Ironically, I chose to deliver food to about 35 houses which I knew would take most of the day. (the main reason I was leaving) The week would end with me delivering less pieces than I have in about three years, but I was literally counting the pieces as they left my van.  My last three deliveries happened to be very close to each other in the same neighborhood, which hardly ever happened.

I finished up and stopped back at the warehouse and after closing the gate I took a picture and sent it to my family.  The picture below looked like I had just gotten out of prison, but then I got a text from my wife wanting to know what happened to my tooth.  I had no idea and could not see that my tooth seemed crooked. The smile on my face was real and I headed home to begin being semi-retired.

And now, I can catch up on a few blogs that I haven't had any time to write for you.

JUNE RIDER STORIES

 "UNIQUE": For some parents picking a name for a child is a very difficult and long process, but for others it can be ridiculously simple.  The young woman in my car was using the name, "love," (on the Uber app), but her real name was even more interesting.  Her mom said to her dad, "we have to pick a unique name for her." His response was, "that's the name." Her unique name, is actually "Unique", and she wears it well, because it does describe her. She had been in nursing school and felt that experiencing the pain and illness that others had was wearing her down and affecting her personality, so she changed careers.  She lives and works in the northeast in real estate and definitely has the personality and verbal skills to do well in the field.  If you think her name is unique, one of her brother's name is: "Wulf."

THE KNIFE THROWER: I've had some "unique" riders in my car, but my first ride on a Saturday was from a hospital and he surprised me throughout the trip with his story.  He was okay it seemed except for the bandage on his hand which covered a very bad 3 inch cut.  He was juggling knives which relaxes him.  He's supposedly an expert of many years in handling knives, but made a mistake by briefly losing his concentration.  He was obviously very bright as he discussed many different topics with me and he thanked me for the conversation.  He received an honorable discharge from the Air Force after they discovered he had several medical issues that he still deals with daily. One interesting quote from him was, "I didn't want a job that I had to kill people, I don't know how my soul would take it." Right now he's on disability for a number of issues, but he wants to work and be productive and be a good example for his daughter.  I was impressed with him and I hope things work out for him, because he does have a lot of different talents, although he probably should spend less time juggling knives.

THE UNIQUE CHEF: Driving in two tourist areas, Myrtle Beach and Charleston, it is very common to pick up a chef and there are days I have several chefs in my car.  However, this was not just a chef.  He had take a job helping out in a kitchen for a friend and then it turned into being a full-time chef which he wasn't really planning on.  He typically works 7 days a week and occasionally takes a day off when he's reached his limit.  Originally from Ohio, he had spent some time in jail and decided to work on his physical strength.  For several months he did 10,000 pushups a day.  He told me he did several hundred an hour and a doctor discovered this kind of workout actually changed some of the bone structure in his upper body.  He is still dedicated to working out and he carries with him a kettle bell that weighs thirty pounds and it keeps his arms strong.  This is one chef you don't want to mess around with, but he was a very down to earth and nice guy and it was very interesting having him in my car.

THE HAWAIIAN: The woman has lived in Hawaii with her husband, who is in the air force, for the past seven years and they both love it there. They had asked to stay longer and will be there another two years.  Although she isn't a Hawaiian, you can tell that she has been very accepted by the natives and has been fascinated by the culture.  She is the first person I've had in my car who has said they really enjoyed living there.  The common refrain I've gotten in the past is that it is a great place to visit, but not to live and others have had trouble getting along with the natives.  She did say it was very expensive to live, but she enjoyed working with children and raising her two kids there.  It was was good to hear something different from Hawaii and I'm sure this woman will enjoy whatever her next destination will be.

Saying Goodbye to My Customers

 After 3 1/2 years of being a courier I recently started saying goodbye to some of the people I delivered to over the past couple years.  I wanted to do something different for some of my favorite people, so I put together a few of my favorite delivery stories and printed it up and for about 25 people and I gave them a little gift.  I enjoyed doing this and got some great reactions.

Four woman gave me a hug and one woman said, "I'm so sad." (about me leaving)  Another woman taped my stories on the wall right next to her desk so she could look at it in the future.  A number of women were very surprised and obviously "touched" that I would think of them.  I got plenty of laughs as they looked at the pictures and started to read the stories.  Pretty much all of them thanked me for doing a good job and many of them said they would miss me and of course I'll miss them.

One of my last customers who received my gift turned out to be one of my all-time favorites.  The Wal-Mart manager who always wanted an earlier delivery, he said to me, "thank you, you did an awesome job." It just so happened that two of the last three days I got to deliver to him by 9 am, which has never happened before. I made sure he knew that by saying, "I'm here at 9 am for my last delivery," and he laughed at that.

Finally, I told two women at Greg Norman's Australian Grille, that this was my final delivery.  Their office is outside the very fancy restaurant and I had just carried two heavy boxes of paper of the stairs.  A number of months ago I told them that I was the only person in the world who associated Greg Norman's restaurant with pain and I got a good laugh.  The one woman laughed again when I repeated it and gave me the manager's card and said, "come in some time have a free lunch on us."  It was very nice and almost on cue, the manager walked in and wished me a happy retirement.

Below is the gift I gave out and most of the stories which I have blogged about before.  The pictures on the bottom appeared on the gift I gave out all together in one line right in the middle.  However, my technical skills prevented me from duplicating that for this blog.

MY FAVORITE DELIVERY STORIES AS A COURIER

I’m from New Jersey and I told my customer that I really miss snow.  I could see the fear in her eyes and I said, “I did bring a snow shovel to South Carolina.  If I could only get ten minutes of flurries, I’d be happy.” She looked directly upwards and said, “Dear Lord, give this man what he wants, but only over his house.”  She then nicknamed me, “snowman” and we always talk about snow.

 I have a customer in the very next building and I told her the “snowman” story. I had joked with her that she should put a sign up right above where I place her delivery.  The next time I came in, she couldn’t wait to take me to the spot and there was the below sign, just for me, a picture of a snowman.

The woman sitting at the information desk at the hospital is one of the nicest people I’ve met in South Carolina.  She sits there each day and watches people walking by and she noticed how fast I walk past her pushing a hand truck. One day as I was approaching her, she said, “Do you have only one speed-fast?” Laughing and in a loud voice I said, “YES!”  She nicknamed me “Speedy.”

I delivered a small refrigerator to a department in a hospital.  The manager wasn’t in, but I told another person to tell the manager that when someone delivers a refrigerator, the next time they come in there needs to be a small piece of chocolate cake for them.  She laughed and two weeks later I saw the manager and I immediately saw she was smiling under her mask.  When I mentioned the chocolate cake she laughed and said, “there isn’t any, but I can offer you some cheese.” Recently, I checked with her, and she offered me yogurt. Below is a picture of a piece of chocolate cake I DID NOT GET from her.”

I delivered to the fourth floor of an apartment complex.  I called my customer to see if they had put in an elevator yet and she laughed.  I had to carry three, forty-four-pound boxes of paper and another heavy box up to her door.  She wasn’t home, but she told me on the phone she felt so guilty.  When I finished, I took the above picture and texted her, “Don’t feel guilty.”

When I met Ms. Wilson in physical therapy, I told her that she had a presidential name and that Woodrow Wilson’s wife, (Edith), was really the first woman President of our country because she did all the work when her husband recovered from a stroke. I started calling her, The First Lady of Physical Therapy and would always have her laughing with a big smile on her face. Shen never knew that I was laughing before I would open her door. Wishing you a speedy recovery Madam President!

I have laughed more with the die-hard New England Patriots fan than with any customer. She almost chased me out of her office the first time since I had on a NY hat. I teased her about the Giants beating her Patriots twice and she told me about the dance she does while watching games and that the Patriots lost to the Eagles in the Super Bowl since they ate “too many starchy foods.” My best visit was when she was about to take blood from a guy wearing a New York Giants shirt. I said to him, “Did she tell you that she’s a New England Patriot’s fan and she hates the Giants? I’m sure she’ll be careful with that needle.” We laughed a lot that day.

My customers really care a lot about me. One manager of a Wal-Mart pharmacy always wants an early delivery, but I’m usually later than he likes.  One day I was very early and he wanted to buy me a slice of pizza, but they weren’t open, so he gave me a lollipop. Recently, I was very late and I apologized.  He said, “We were about to send the bloodhounds out for you!” He was so worried he was going to send a search party out for me-that’s how much my customers cared about me. THANK YOU TO ALL!

When Do You Feel Old?

I think the first time I felt "old" was about 1986 when I was 26 years old.  I worked for a business school and shared an office with Gary, who is a long-time friend. (Hi Gary) There was an extra phone in the room and the admissions department had a high school student working part-time calling potential leads to see if they were interested in visiting our school.  Gary had his radio on and when a great song ended, the "young" girl said something like, "that was a good song, what's the name of it?" It was "Hey Jude", by the Beatles, still one of the greatest songs ever put out.

Recently I felt old when I found out that my three kids were discussing what I should do when I'm semi-retired at the end of the month.  My son told me, "we have a plan."  My oldest daughter said that when her and her sister visit in a couple weeks we can talk about some possible hobbies for me.

I am amused and also curious as to what these three very bright kids have in mind. My wife and I joke that we don't know who the real parents are, but they must have been very smart.  I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to find the time to do all the things I want to do, but I will listen to their advice.  Below are a few of hobby suggestions they may have:

1. Weightlifter: Over the past three years I have gotten stronger from lifting boxes of paper and other packages. Below is a picture of four boxes, each that weighed 80 pounds.  I picked each of them up, (two hands) and put them on a dock that was shoulder high and then stacked them on top of each other.  Maybe lifting a lot of weights would be more fun than I had today lifting those boxes?

2. Sumo Wrestler: From what I know, you have to have a big stomach and knowledge about wrestling.  My mother-in-law recently told me I had a belly and boy, was I surprised! When I was in Junior High, my friend Larry and I were in the same weight class for wrestling. (about 85 pounds) I don't remember who used to win our matches, but I can beat him now-we are no longer in the same weight class. Maybe pushing around another overweight man in his underwear would be fun?

3. Car Waxer: Not too long ago I was making a delivery and I saw a guy waxing his black car.  It looked really good so I bought some spray on wax and I used it on my 2018 car with over 200,000 miles on it.  It looked better, but I really don't know a lot about waxing.  How often do you do it? Do you dry it off a certain way? When I get my new car, can you wax a new car? Should you? There's so much to learn about this, it might be a good hobby.

4. Master Chef: A hobby is supposed to be something you can spend a lot of time on and this would demand a lot of time. Since I'd be starting at "ground zero," I might need ten hours a week for the rest of my life. I used to cook pasta, but I have no recollection on how long you cook it for.  I think you just pull a piece of pasta out and if it's still hard, you're not there yet. I love to eat, so this might be the right hobby.

5. Philanthropist: How much money do you have to have to be a philanthropist? I wouldn't say I have a lot, but can you give $20 to a bunch of people or charities? Giving away a little bit might be fun, but I don't think I know enough about this yet, but I'll have some time soon to find out.

I think you can see that I really don't need any help, because these are just a few possibilities for my new hobbies.

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MAY RIDER COMMENTS

Young man: "The fence business is booming.  People were home for a whole year and they hate their neighbors."

Me: "how are you today?" Male: "I'm amazing." Me: "Why are you amazing?" Male: "I'm always amazing. I decided a few years ago that I was tired of being negative, life is too short." Me: "What did your family say when you changed?" "Male: "Who the "F  " are you?"

Female hair stylist: "The guy came in with blue hair and he wanted me to put horns on his head.  It was difficult, but I did it." 

Male houseman at hotel: "A 25 year old woman at our front desk asked me for help.  A sink had overflown and she was going to clean it up with a mop. She was holding the mop and said, " I don't know how to use this."

Woman: "When I started working in the hospital cleaning rooms I decided to lose weight. I drank a lot of water and doing my job I lost 60 pounds in three months." Me: "that would make a great recruitment video, lose weight while you make money."

(2 pm-not under the influence): Young woman: "I go to Wake Forrest." Me: "What are you majoring in?" Her: "Philosophy, but I graduated." Me: "When did you graduate?" Her: "Last week, I forgot.  It's fresh in my mind."

"Being in the Air Force I had a friend fly my girlfriend and I over the beach at Hilton Head.  Earlier, with another friend we spelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME" in the sand.  When we flew over it I said to my girlfriend, "what does that say and I got on my knee and gave her the ring." I told the pilot shake the wings which meant she said yes, but she thought we were going down and she got sick."

Retired from the used car business: "I've been cheating and lying about my earnings for many years."

Male: "I manage some rental properties, but I don't want to talk about what I do for a living. Me: "CIA?" Him: "You would either thank me or curse me." Me: "Can you write it on a piece of paper and I won't look at it until you leave or put it on the app?" (he didn't, politics?)

Him: "The only traffic we have in South Dakota is cows and tractors."

After I told him I ran over a salad fork which destroyed my tire in downtown Charleston, he said, " in Birmingham, Alabama I ran over a wrench. The roads are so bad there, if you're not clenching your teeth there, they will fall out."

Retired Air Force Photographer: "It took me a couple years to adjust to retirement." Me: "What do you spend a lot of time on now?" Him: "I do a podcast called "Last Letters." I interview people with a simple question, " If tomorrow was your last day on earth, what would your last letter be?"

Young black man: "One of the things I do is sell women's hair. I have a supplier."

 Me: "Did you get some fresh air today?"  Her: "Yes, when I walked to your car."

"The problem with communication is the allusion that it has been achieved."

"When I was 6-9 years old we had two family friends who were cops and they would sit with me and tell me about all the horrors of the world. My sister said I was 30 years old out of the womb."

Black man in his 20's: "When you have to have a passion for something, you'll get it done. You need to have the mindset of getting it done."

She graduated the day before and majored in Political Science: "Political Science doesn't have to be one side against the other, we are all Americans."

She: "My name was supposed to be "Patience", but they changed it to Zara. I don't know why you'll have to ask them, they made me."

Two young women after asking me an unusual question: "We're private investigator's from Los Angeles." (Just kidding, actually sales reps) "We're good liars."

 Me to a Trauma Nurse: "How do you keep what happened in the hospital from affecting you at home?" Her: "I get off from work and go into my car in the parking garage and take off my badge and then my bra and it helps a lot."

Young white woman who used to live in Atlanta: "They talk about diversity here in Charleston but, I've seen very little of it."

Female Nurse: "The bridge (Ravenel) doesn't look like a bra, if anything maybe mishapen boobies and I've seen a lot of them."

Male barber from Ohio: "I was in Brooklyn, NY with my girlfriend at a concert and saw a woman with green hair. The next day I saw the woman in line at the airport to go back to Ohio on my flight. A short time later I was looking at paintings online and the painting I wanted to buy was painted by the woman in green hair whose picture was taken at the concert we were at. A few months later after I bought the painting we were on our first date and several people thought we were married. We've been together two years.

Two Navy guys: "In 2020 we were on a secret mission for the first half of the year with no contact with the outside world.  When we finished it in June we were shocked that the world had changed. It wierded me out. I went to shake someone's hand and was told, 'we don't do that anymore.' "

Male finance mortgage guy from San Clemente, California: "The Richard Nixon estate is for sale for $60 million, we can go 50-50 on it. Me: "I'll check with my accountant, just get us a good rate."

Married for 19 years he was out with the guys and texted his wife, "feeling a a bit of loneliness without you."

30-year old woman: "People are so hopeful and happy here. That's why I moved to Mt. Pleasant from Los Angeles."

Female graduate of the College of Charleston: As she got in the car she said, "So no ones drives Uber here anymore?"

Woman: "One male Uber driver was encouraging us to give him a tip and he said, "you take care of me and I'll take care of you."

Male living in New York to me: "You're very friendly for someone from New Jersey."

Female mariner: "The think I like best about being at sea is seeing something at that moment that no one else is seeing."

When I asked the two young couples if they were ready for hear the best baseball story ever, one of the girls who was not a baseball fan said, "I've never been more ready in my life." 

The young black male was emptying my trunk of his dirty laundry.  Me: Don't leave anything in there." Him: "I don't think you want any of my funky clothes."

"Our last Uber driver told us that he took a few guys to Wal-Mart to buy needles for their drugs."

"A fish wouldn't get in trouble if it kept it's mouth closed."

She: "When I first started at Publix I was taking a cart out of the store for a couple just in from New Jersey.  They said, "what are you doing?" When I told them they said, "this is crazy, we're not used to this."

Her: "My Dad told my Mom before she was pregnant that our first daughter would be named after a New Zealand opera singer and I am."

Woman: "The best thing about living in Wyoming is that it's the least populated state."

Him: "The 'pride and joy' of our hotel at the front desk told our customer, "F-you" and then walked out of the hotel."

"The toughest part of being a fireman for me is being woke up suddenly and having to think clearly and make decisions."

Young male in the National Guard: "Anxiety does not have any control of my life anymore."

Male: "I started out as a bartender in a dive bar and at times made $600 in tips in a night."

Female: "I started as an exercise science and a Spanish major and wound up as a Political Science major and I'm now in Law school."

"Parking in Downtown Charleston is not my favorite."

Male: "A woman does not make you smarter unless you are with one."

Me: "How are you unique?"  Her: "I'm actually pretty boring."

Her: "I'm just going home, I have a lot of food to make and steak too." Me: "You can't talk about steak at 7 am, I'm already hungry."

Him: "I ride my bike 4-5 miles with my dog running with me." Me: "How did you do it in the beginning?" Him: "She really didn't like it at first."

Driving in Daniel Island, the guy in his 20's looked at the houses and said, "what do they do?" Me: "They don't do anymore, they did it."

Male: "I think the Ravenel bridge looks like a Christmas tree." The other guy in the car said, "I think it looks like a slice of pizza."

Male showing me a picture of a dolphin in the water. "I'm in a tugboat every day for work and my coworker videoed this dolphin alongside us."

When I asked the two young couples if they were ready for hear the best baseball story ever, one of the girls who was not a baseball fan said, "I've never been more ready in my life." 

"When I was five years old I said I wanted to be a lawyer and I just finished my first year."

Male: "I've been a real estate attorney for 20 years in Myrtle Beach.  2020 was the best year I ever had and this year we actually had to turn down business."

The young black male was emptying my trunk of his dirty laundry.  Me: Don't leave anything in there." Him: "I don't think you want any of my funky clothes."

Mailman: "I've only been bitten twice in 17 years.  One of them came right through the screen door and bit my arm and when I hit it, it bit me in the leg."

"Awhile back we took some kind of ride service and the driver told dirty jokes the whole trip."

The young guy gets in the car and says, "I'm in really bad shape, there was an open bar last night at the wedding."

Me on Mother's Day: "Are you a Mom?" Rider: "No, I just have two fur balls."

Woman: "I hire people for high end job for a large dental business and I currently have 17 positions to fill."

Male: "A woman does not make you smarter unless you are with one."

Woman" My sister took an Uber in New York and the guy looked her up on a site and sent her inappropriate messages.  She was scared and reported him."

Female bartender: "I said to her, "no mam I did not say m'am to you because you were older."

"The Pandemic was good for us because we got to find some Marriott timeshare places in this country that we had never tried before."

Young woman in her 20's with friends: "We're living our best life now."

When I mentioned that I write a blog about some my riders, the woman yelled out, "we're going to be in the blog!"

They went to put three paintings in my van. I said, "would you like me to do that?" She said, "yes, you're more sober than we are." 8 am Sunday morning.

"I wish you lived here in Charleston and drove here more often," she said.

Male manager in tech company: "I enjoy management because of the variety of jobs you have to do."

Woman: "I love living in Denver because of all the seasons and you can go to different parts of the area for different weather."

Female bartender: "I'm a bartender now and not a server, it's called seniority.  I now work smarter and not harder."

Woman: "I enjoy being cold."

25 year old male Air Force office: "I'm in charge of some guys who are older than me and they are asking me marital advice and I'm just winging it."

Retired from the used car business: "I've been cheating and lying about my earning for many years."

"Louisville is the Un-Kentucky like Nashville is the Un-Tennesee"

"The weather in Wyoming is horrible.  It snowed the other day there."(May 1)

Male: "I have a love-hate relationship with the color orange. I hate Clemson on Saturday, but love the Cleveland Browns on Sunday."

After giving the best man's speech last night, I gave the guy who was in construction some advice on public speaking.  Him: "My next speech will be in May next year and I'll remember your advice."

Female: "Trying to teach 5 year olds online during the beginning of the pandemic was terrible, just awful."

She: "I made a plate of food at a barbecue for my boyfriend who was from the North and his Mom could not believe I did it. She expected her son to make his own plate, but that's how we do things down south."

She was going to a shooting class at a range. Me: "Are you awake yet?" Her: "I'm almost awake." Me: "
"I'm not letting you out until you're awake, you're going to put a gun in your hand."

Male: "I'm bitter that there's been so many houses built in the Charleston area."

"Everything was so good on the trip I don't have anything to bitch about."

Male: "I used to work for WFAN in New York.  Mike Francessa is a pompous ass."

"People here in the south are very outspoken."

Female looking up at my sign in the car, "If you can't find the sunshine, be the sunshine." She said, "Did your daughter write that?" Me: "No, if either one of them did, it would look better."