AUGUST RIDER COMMENTS

 "My friend knew of a woman who spelled her name Kmnop. She pronounced her name, "Noel", because in the spelling of her name there is no "L".

When I told the above story about the woman called "Noel", a woman said, "those parents should not have been allowed to reproduce."

Young woman: "I sell shots in a strip club." Me: "Do you get a lot of tips?"  Her: "Oh yeah, I get tipped up the ass." (she really said it)

Young woman: "I like corny jokes so I got a tattoo, that says "corn" and it's just above my knee." Me: "It says corn?" Her: "Let me show you." Me: "I'm driving, wait till I stop." She does have "CORN" above her knee.(corn-knee)

After telling the above story another woman said, "She's not as corny as ethanol."

Woman: "I'm not going on a safari here with all the mosquitos.  I hate them, but they love me." Me: "Who has better taste?"

Male from Ohio: "We used to come down here every year. One year I pulled up to a light and my next door neighbor in Ohio was next to us. We had no idea we were both going to be here."

"I knew a family where the names of the children were River, Season, and Rain."

She: "I'm in town for a family reunion." Me: "How many people do you have?" Her: "Not much, a few hundred. My great grandmother had 11 kids."

"My English teacher told us that her and her friends were drinking and one woman got a tattoo of a bowl of mashed potatoes on her stomach."

After losing her best friend the day before to COVID, the positive woman said, "God puts good people in my life. I'm trying to make this a great day."

Young woman: "My boyfriend's real name is Ponyboy after a character in an old movie his parents loved.  He doesn't go by that name."

(Very professional black woman) "I'm in Institutional Foreign Exchange sales for a Japanese company and I learned Japanese to communicate with my colleagues. The word sun is pronounced "yune-it-tima."

The Puerto Rican man said, "My Dad when I was young had me pour salt and pepper on top of each other on a paper plate and told me to separate them.  He said you can't separate the world that way."

"I knew someone who spelled their first name, Abcde."

The rider was raving about IP TV and telling me what I need to get. I said, "Before I do that I have to get something important- my wife and I never bought a TV here." Shocked he said,  "A TV is like having a fork."

"My best friends' name is Keewaden, it's Native American."

A few guys in their twenties: "Are there any hot girls you cam refer us too?" 

Male Red Sox fan working in Massachusetts: "At the beginning of the pandemic I went to work one day with a Yankee mask on and everyone gave me dirty looks."

Angelica: "My name is sometimes confused with the Angelica on the old "Rug Rats" show.  She was like a demon. I'm only that way when my husband pisses me off."

"I knew a girl named Candace, who used Candy as a nickname.  She married a guy named Barr.(sp?) Her name is Candy Barr and she's not a stripper."

Me: "What's the best thing about working in a library part-time?" Her: "the air conditioning-when I was a full-time teacher I never had any."

A male named Ashely, "I was in the bank and the woman said to me, "is that your real name?" I looked at her name tag which said, "Sam" and I said, "looking at your name tag, you shouldn't ask me that question."

Female wedding officiant: "Every woman deserves to afford a beautiful wedding."

Male: "I like dogs better than people."

"We couldn't believe the woman here who walked out the door in front of us and then came back and apologized for letting the door shut and opened the door for us.  In New York, she might have spit on us."

Young guy: "I sold my car one night in a bar because I was bitching about it. Funny thing is he's only seen the car at night."

"The Belmont Hotel in Charleston was selling for 1.3 million dollars a room. They have 140 rooms."

The accomplished country singer and songwriter told me, "you should get some of those songs you wrote copyrighted, they are creative."

"I know of a girl with the last name of June.  She was named "April with a middle name of May, so she's April May June."

Young woman: "My name is Santa which is Saint in Spanish. My Dad was buying my mom flowers at a shop from a woman named Santa. She told him he was having a girl although the doctors said it was a boy.  She said that if you name her Santa she will be very healthy and always happy. When I was born a girl they named me Santa. A few days later, my Dad went to tell the woman that they named me Santa, but the woman had suddenly passed away a couple days ago."

Talking about her favorite chicken she said, "it's uber, uber, fresh." Me: "Did you just tell an Uber driver that something is uber, uber, fresh?"

Woman: "I once had a Santa Uber at Christmas time. He wore a Christmas hat and had another hat with dollar bills.  When you got a trivia question right, you got a dollar."

"My kids and I got an Uber ride the other day in an $80,000 large truck, the kids loved it."

It used to cost one million dollars to have a taxi in Boston, but after Uber it now only costs $15,000 and no one wants it."

The white female Uber driver in her 20's said to the black couple, "I don't like white people because they complain about my driving."  During the ride she kept swirving to the right apparently falling asleep and she said, "Don't worry I got it , I got it." She didn't, they were scared and complained.

"We took an Uber ride from Manhattan to around Newark Airport(in NJ) and it cost about $160. The return ride cost half as much because New York has higher taxes."

Me: "Have you ever gotten a gift from an Uber driver?" Her: "Yes, a driver in North Carolina gave me pot, but I threw it out."

Former Uber Driver: "I went to pick up a guy who jumped into my car and yelled, "drive, drive."  His wife came running out and yelling and started to chase me.  She jumped in her car and followed me for fifteen minutes honking her horn.  I wanted to throw him out, but finally was able to drop him off."

Former Uber Driver: "My rider called me and asked if his dog could ride with me and I asked if he was friendly and then told him yes.  When I arrived I saw the largest dog I've ever seen, 300 pounds.  The rider wanted to drive his motorcycle and follow me and his dog.  I had a pick-up truck and strapped him in all the way in the back, because there was no way he could ever get in a back seat.  It worked out well."

Young guy: "I sold my car one night in a bar because I was bitching about it. Funny thing is he's only seen the car at night."

"The Belmont Hotel in Charleston was selling for 1.3 million dollars a room. They have 140 rooms."

The accomplished country singer and songwriter told me, "you should get some of those songs copy righted, they are creative."

" I know of a girl with the last name of June.  She was named "April with a middle name of May, so she's April May June."

"In New Jersey we ordered an Uber and a black guy pulled up in a white Tesla with an Uber sticker.  He used to be in real estate and said this was his Uber vehicle, we took pictures."

"My Uber driver yesterday said my mask was too small.(it wasn't) Then he started talking to me about "you people" thinking I was black. Before I got out of the car he told me he doesn't like "ghetto people." I yelled at him that I was Puerto Rican not black. I gave him a 1 and reported him to Uber. They gave me a $5 credit." 

I told the former taxi driver from Boston about the Tesla and he said, "there are at least four Uber Tesla's in Boston, two black, 1 gray and and 1 white."

Plant Manager: "I own three factories in three states.  Two of them have a mask mandate and we're going to that in the third. I have 20 people there who either have the virus. are in quarantine, or are waiting for results."

"I  grew up in the cornfields of Iowa.  The cornfields that were on the other side of the outfield fence for recent "Field Of Dreams" baseball game, is not corn that we can eat.  It's just for the cows."

Woman: "We need more love in this world."

Holding her small crate with two crabs in it she said, "I hope Ted and Fred will be allowed to make their first plane ride."

Me: "What do you do for fun?" Him joking: "maybe a little streaking sometimes."

"When the Red Sox fan saw my Yankee hat he joked, "that's why we just ordered another Uber."

"The name Ladasha is spelled La-a."(two riders have seen this)

"About 7 years ago our area in Northern New York had 140 inches of snow in one week.  The media came up there and was asking everyone about the snow and people just answered, "yes it snowed." It was no big deal and some people did get to work."

Me to a guy dating his girlfriend less than a year: "You should take her to Charleston." Him: "Maybe for the honeymoon."

Male: "I had a really bad motorcycle accident, but it was a blessing in disguise."

Woman after a two-minute ride: "You made my day!"

"My wife is a pre-K teacher, she brings all the diseases home."

Seeing my Yankee and Giant hats on the dashboard he said, "Now I understand the mask thing."(drinking)

After an interesting political discussion after I told him I was Jewish, he teased me and then jokingly said, "Since you're a good Jew I knew you could handle that."

"I love pizza, but it can hurt you."

Woman I was taking to the hospital: "Two nights ago a cop was chasing someone and came around the corner doing about sixty and hit a car which pinned me against another car. I'm lucky to be alive."

Black male: "My friends gave me the nickname, "Chasing the Money."

"All parents are doctors now."

"They changed the name of the road here so they could charge more money."

After telling me about the early flight Monday morning, she said to me, "you're just going to have to adjust your schedule.  Tell your wife not to be mad at me."

World traveler: "When you visit a city in Europe, don't spend much time on the big attractions. What you really want to do is walk down a local street and have a family invite you in for dinner."

"We're a little bit meaner in Ohio than here."

When I told them that I've written a lot of songs, he said, "you must be writing anonymously for Justin Beiber and Maroon 5."

Woman from Seattle: "I appreciate you wearing a mask.  So many of my drivers here were not wearing it or even asking us to wear one."

Me: "It sounds like you miss living in New York.  Retired woman: "You bet your ass I do."

Her: "I've taken a lot of Uber's, but none of them really stand out." Me: Good, that means I have a shot at it."

Woman in her 40's: "It gets better every year."

"You're the best Uber driver we've had here."

"I work for a contracting/home improvement business in Kentucky and we have six crews working, but we're more than 250 jobs behind."

Woman from Seattle: "I think sex work has become stigmatized."

Male: "I was named Noel because I was due in December, but I was born early."

She said, "Philadelphia is my favorite city because it celebrates black culture and it has great food and music."

"I hate to say it, but selling fishing rods our company made a killing this past year."

"The woman insisted that I spell my name, "Wilhemenia" the wrong way."

"I heard of another woman named Palace with a last name of Steps."

"Delta airlines has done a great job throughout the crisis."

"This summer it cost me twice as much to build a deck in my backyard due to the cost of supplies."