My Christmas Card to My Wife on Christmas Morning

Merry Christmas to everyone. When my wife wakes up on Christmas morning she is going to find this "card" and I thought as I was finishing it that I would share it with you.

Hi Monika, it’s me, Jim Gaffigan, the comedian. Merry Christmas! Your husband invited me for dinner tonight, but I was booked for Christmas with my wife and 10 kids. Actually, it’s only 5, but sometimes around the holidays I see double-like this.

Since I couldn’t make it for Christmas, I’m coming down to the Charleston Convention Center on Thursday, January 26^th and I thought maybe you and your husband could stop by. They’ll be 13,293 other people there, but I’ll be the one on stage.  You two could come down early and maybe we can get some chicken and waffles.  Your husband said that he likes chicken (he wouldn’t stop talking about it) and you like waffles and we would be in the south where everyone loves chicken and waffles.

I know it’s a month after Christmas but he said you have no problem celebrating a holiday on another day.  If you prefer, we could meet at Lewis’s Barbecue. I heard they have the best brisket and your husband said you love brisket.  You decide, your husband said you prefer to choose the restaurant-always.

Hope to see you on the 26^th.  Your husband did not buy tickets yet, he said he wanted to make sure you wanted to see me.  I can’t believe that! Bring Toto too, no one will notice you have a dog.

Sincerely: Your favorite comedian…. Sebastian

(P.S. Her favorite comedian may be Sebastian Maniscalco, I mentioned that to Jim)