How To Open A Sandwich Bag With One Hand

If you're sitting down in front of your computer it's pretty easy, but what if you're driving 70 miles per hour on a highway and the sandwich bag is on the inside of your door and you have to be quiet because your wife and your dog are both sleeping? (Yes, the sentence is too long)

I set it up this way on our long trip up to New Jersey and I knew that I was going to reach for my grapes at some point. However, I forgot to open the bag a little bit to make it easy.  My dog has bionic hearing and the sound of anything crinkling automatically makes him think I'm getting cheese and he NEEDS cheese.

So, what do you do? Do you pick the bag up and put it in your lap and risk opening the bag and having all the grapes roll out. They don't taste as good once they've been on the floor of the car.  Or, do you leave them on the inside of the door and open it somehow? I left them inside the door.  Here's how to  get this done:

Step 1: Since the grapes are on your left, grip the steering wheel on top with your right hand as if your life depends on it, because it does. If your wife wakes up and sees what you're doing, you're done for. If you go near the white lines on the road, your wife's annoying car will beep three times and that is louder than the bag of grapes and then everyone wakes up and you're done for.

Step 2: Leaning to your left, reach down and place one of your fingers on the top opening of the bag and press towards the door. With one of your other fingers pull the opening towards you.  This is called the, "Old press and pull" routine. All you need is a small opening and your treasure is yours.

Step 3: You now have access to your grapes, but don't take more than two at a time.  It is easy for some of them to start rolling around your floor and you don't want to be crushing grapes with your feet like Lucille Ball in that famous, "I Love Lucy." scene.

Conclusion: If you open the bag a little bit before you drive in the future, you can avoid these steps and just eat the delicious grapes and you won't have to share them with anyone.