Tracy W., an Uber driver in Charleston, was taking a picture of one of the signs in my car. She said to me, "I'm not taking a picture of you, you're bald."
Woman: "I have 6 tattoos on my body, four are dogs of mine I lost, one is my dad who I lost recently, and the other is an eye on the back of my head, my neck." I used to tell my three kids that I needed eyes on the back of my head and I've had one for twenty years."
The man said, "When that balloon (from China) was flying over our area, it had chemicals that came out of it, because people started sneezing a lot afterwards."
Me: "My wife and I decided again not to buy a TV. (After 5 years without one) He said, "It's un-American, even people in third world countries have TV's." Later, I said, "I like to stop driving and head home between 6-7 pm." He replied, "Why go home, you don't even have a F'N TV."
The 16 year-old college student told me: "I started kindergarten when I was 3 and when I was 4, I opened up our home computer to see what was inside."
She: "We saw Actor Bill Murray at a game and he told my ten-year-old son, "Don't tell anyone you saw me or I'll bite you."
The woman who does a chicken dance for Lowes supermarket when the rotisserie chickens are ready, told me, "We also yell out, "Yi-ha, come and get it."
She: "I've had some life, I've often thought I should write a book about it." Me: "What would the title be?" She: "Oh my God, what now?"
Me: "How did you two meet?" He said, "She's been stalking me since she was two."
The football fan from Washington DC told me, "I'm a fan of the Commandos, they can't afford to wear underwear, because the owner took all the money."
She: "My brother was dropped on his head when he was little that's why he's a Giants fan. The whole family are Eagle fans."
The man said, "A father died in the house I'm living in. That red cardinal is always around and when someone yells, 'Hello Charlie,' it always turns around."
New to selling time share in Myrtle Beach, the young guy said, "I'm selling my soul." I reminded him, "The devil went down to Georgia, (the song) not South Carolina." He added, "He had to make a pit stop."
The man said, "When I retire I'm going to get on my son's nerves, because he gets on mine now."
He said, "We would have walked to the restaurant, but I'm having a problem with some gout, they are about to cut my foot off."
Retired female school administrator: "I don't care if I never see another child the rest of my life."
Former Uber driver: "I used to tell people they should sign up for Uber in case they have an emergency. If you can't pay your rent three days before it's due, go out and drive."
She: "I walked up to him in a bar and asked if he was friends with one of my friends and then he couldn't take his eyes off me."
The three male postal workers from Boston were kidding when they said, "We came down here to buy guns, they don't give them out anymore up there. We'll go back and "Go postal."
At the end of the ride, the daughter said to her Mom, "Pay the man." (She meant give me a cash tip) The mother was not very familiar with Uber, so she said, "Here," and handed me her credit card.
Woman: "You have 10,000 rides so if you made just $1 for each one, that's a lot of money!"
He's from Texas: "My brother and I make expensive bourbon and I'm going to talk about it at Greg Norman's Australian Grille. We always joke that maybe we'll make enough money one day that we can eat at one of these places. We usually stop at a convenience store on the way home from them."
She: "I love New York, but they have a rodent problem. Last time I was there I saw an entire parking lot filled with rats."
When I mentioned to the women about my rider comments, one young woman said, "Condoms?"
I asked Sonnie, how she got her name, "My parents thought they were having a boy and was going to name him Sonny, but when I developed they realized I was a girl and they changed it to an "ie" at the end." Looking at her at the end of the ride, "Is that really what happened?" She: "My parents tell the same story-It's true, I promise." (She was grinning from ear to ear)
I asked the the couple, "How did you meet?" She said, "I saw him walking across the street, he had a cool walk and big white eyes, he was looking good."
The woman from New Hampshire who lives in the South told me, "I'm a Yankee Southern Belle. I'm a Yankee in the butt."
Me: "What do you do back home?" She: "I'm a stay-at-home mom-without kids." Me: "When did the last kid leave?" Her: "Over a year ago."
The man from Jamaica said, "I can't get enough rain. I'm the little boy who used to run outside in the rain."
She: "My husband and I lived in Augusta on the second hole of the Masters Golf course. One year we were offered $20,000 for someone to rent our house for the nine days of the tournament. My husband said we didn't need the money."
He said, "When people say that up North is where the money is, is it really? Everything cost a lot more up there."
I asked the couple married forty years, "What's the secret of a successful marriage?" She said, "Commitment and trust."
A few months from celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, I asked the couple, "What's the secret of a good marriage?" He replied, "Putting up with her." They both laughed a lot, I think they're going to make it.
She: "My boyfriend is a gem, he wouldn't even take me to work."
Security Guard: "I was 8 when the Red Sox won in 2004. It's the only time I saw my dad cry."
I had the tourists, "How are you doing today?' The couple replied, "We're beat. We've been walking, eating and Ubering?" Me: "Has the Ubering been wearing you out?"
Me: What do you think about how people being so friendly in the South?" He: "It's kind of weird, but good."
Commenting on the beachy blue color of the house he's staying in, he said, "I'm here for the beach, not the house."
About having two boys she said, "Their clothes are dirty and their room stinks."
He explained, "It's fun living here (Myrtle Beach), but it's not home.(Charlotte)
The woman said, "I live in Mauritius, it's an island off the east coast of Africa." (It has one million residents)
The pipe welder said, "I was working in Wisconsin outside when it was 20 below zero. My friend had icicles hanging from his nose."
Cowboy fan: "All the Giant, Cowboy and Redskin teams need to put together one team to beat The Eagles."
She said, "Those who know, don't tell and those who tell, don't know."
He: "When I visited Chicago I met some of the nicest people I had ever met, except the Uber drivers who didn't want to talk at all."
She: "Myrtle Beach is like Wildwood (NJ) on steroids."
Reacting to the guy I told her who has a Super Bowl ring since his family built Arrowhead Stadium, (in Kansas City), she said, "That's cheating, it's a nepo-ring."
Her favorite expression is, "Cool Beans."
She: "I'm the medical version of a Home Depot salesman, I sell plates and screws for knees."
The two Romanians had just gotten off their ship. They told me, "There are 15,000 containers on our ship."
She: "My mom was having a hard time trying to name my sister and I. She was saying, Alexis and Victoria and my 16 year old brother had heard enough. He said, 'Just call them Lexi and Tory" and she did."
Surprised at how much the ride was, the woman said to me, "You're expensive."
She told me, "I'm an Airfield Hands Electrician. I handle all the lights on the airfield."
The machine engineer with the very big smile said, "I'm a joy in a field where not a lot of people smile."
The older couple from Pittsburgh said on a very cloudy day, "We got tired of all the sun." Me: "So it was you who wished it away?"
9-11-2001 She: "I worked in a grocery store five blocks for the World Trade Center. That morning I had a dentist appointment and I sat on the subway with my headphones on. I saw some people looking out the window at a fire in the distance, but it's New York, so I didn't pay attention to it. When my dentist was finished he tried to scan my credit card, but it wasn't working so I said I would pay him next time. I headed into work with my headphones on and I arrived around 10:30.(almost two hours after the first plane hit) My boss could not believe I didn't know what had happened. We could only take cash, but when people were coming in dazed and full of soot, I broke down and cried. It took me three hours that night to walk home to Brooklyn and my mom was hysterical because I couldn't call her and tell her I was okay."
SOME COMMENTS ABOUT ME:
"This was simply delightful."
She: "Your car is wicked cool."
She advised, "You have a talent for stand-up, you should do it."
She said, "This ride is like Disneyworld."
She: "This is the most festive Uber I've ever been in."
She: "I love how you decorated your car."
He: "Those were some amazing stories."
She: "I love everything about this ride."
She: "This is a wonderful way of driving with Uber."
She: "You're a light in the world."
She: "I know funny and funny is you."
She: "I have never taken an Uber like this."
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