My Most Memorable Comments From August

                                         

The young woman from Thailand said, "I like your car, it reminds me of the Scooby Doo car."(above)

Wishing me a happy birthday, the eloquent man from Honduras said, "I hope everything your hands and feet touch, prospers greatly."

The high school student said to her mom before she got in the car, "I hope this driver talks to us."

Married 29 years, I asked the couple from Minnesota, how did you two meet? Him: "We met going through a windshield together. We were in the front seat with a mutual friend driving and she hit a brick wall and we both went through the windshield and back inside the car. I was okay and went to Mexico and she broke her neck." (Dated later)

Her co-worker is keeping track of all the funny things she says at work. Her friend said, "She was on the phone and someone kept trying to get her to do something and she said, "You should call the ASPCA, because you're beating a dead horse."

"We struggled here not to have a good time."

He once when he was younger told a priest, "The most important things in a marriage are not going to church and having a lot of sex."

Me: "What do you do in Nebraska?" She: "We watch the corn grow."

The retired midwife told me: "I have delivered thousands of babies here and in Europe. Mothers and babies are the love of my life."

I asked the dentist vacationing from Poland, "What surprised you most on your first trip to this country?" He said, "There are no sidewalks."

Woman from Wisconsin: "My sister got married to the same guy three times during COVID-a small ceremony in a backyard, a large ceremony in a church and months later they renewed their vows at a large reception in another backyard."

Not opening her restaurant that day, a customer said to her, "We are entitled to have a place to eat."

I asked, "Have you gotten used to how friendly people are here?" From New York she said, "I may never get used to it."

In retail in the South she said, "Nothing is scarier than a southern woman."

She: "The way a person treats their animal is the way they treat the world."

In the hospital they asked her to pick out her favorite meal and they would get it for her. She: "I told them Bojangles. I told them I would kill for Bojangles-people don't know how good it is."

Woman from Wisconsin, "We met when our roommates got married and we met at the wedding."

I asked the couple who were engaged last night, how did you meet?" He said, "She hired me and then I asked her out many times and she kept saying no, before she finally said yes to dinner.  She asked to hang out the second time."

She said, "Some of the Uber rides we've taken have been like riding in a hearse."

From Nebraska he said, "Nebraska is so flat you can watch your dog walk away for three days."

They have known each other since they were five, but only married a year and he said, "I look for occasions to give her diamonds."

Married 29 years, I asked her, "What's the secret of a successful marriage?" She said, "Seven words, please, thank you, I love you, and I'm sorry."

He: "My wife has trouble remembering anything.  Our daughter told her the same joke seven weeks in a row until she finally remembered the punch line.  The joke was, why was the scarecrow up for an award? He was out standing in his field."

She: "When I moved here from North California, I was used to friendly people, BUT NOT THIS FRIENDLY."

She used to be a server at Waffle House and told me, "A guy in his 40's once gave me a $75 tip and he said, 'Thanks for talking to me."

She: "I never got the memo that you're not supposed to work hard in government, so I kept getting promoted."

She: "I was very good at my job as a Human Resources Manager, but I don't like people-I'm an introvert."

Me: "Are you taking an early flight home?"  She: "Yes, it leaves at 11 am."

Explaining how some people in the South don't stop talking, the woman in retail said, "I kept backing away from her because she was in my personal space and then she walked behind the counter and I had to tell her that you can't come back here."

"If you can do a Disney line, you can do a Captain George's line." (All you can eat buffet)

I asked the guy with three kids, "Are these three boys all yours?" He said, "I don't know, I just keep paying the bills."

She: "In Jamaica, we don't have babies one after another, we spread them out so we can pay for their schooling.  Mine are 3, 11 and 18."

9-ll-2001: She said, "I would have been hanging out with my friend at the World Trade Center that morning, but I had work done on a tooth the day before and it was still bothering me so I canceled."

She: "My friend's father was retired military and he was working in the World Trade Center on 9-11 for IBM. He was in a meeting early that morning and suddenly got up, apologized, and said he had to go and a few people left with him. He got the last ferry out that morning before the attack and he never could explain what he did and doesn't talk about it."

He's married 30 years and from Ohio and I asked him, "What's the secret of a successful marriage?" He said, "Finding common ground and maintaining your individual identities."

The couple have been married 35 years and I asked them what the secret for a successful marriage was and he said, "Agreeing with my wife."

The pilot tried to quote a famous line about flying, but it turns out to be from Leonardo da Vinci: "Once you have tasted fl;ight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward.  For there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

Married 23 years, I asked him for the secret of a successful marriage and he said, "My wife make it easy."

I asked the young woman who looked exhausted, "Would you like a laugh?" She said, "No, not really."

Married 36 years, I asked what the secret of a successful marriage was and he said, "My wife is always right."  His wife said, "Perseverance."

He: "It was easy to retire, I don't schedule anything anymore."

Living in Canada, the guy in sales told me, "My wife and I are transitioning into being pastors after helping a lot of young people."

He: "Singapore is an amazing city, very clean. We don't have a city like that in our country." (USA)

She: "When I was young I hated my name Alexxus because it was so difficult to write in script."

He: "Australia is the country that looks most like ours." (USA)

The New York prosecutor was upset, "They let everyone out up there."

Me: "We're going to be married forty years on the 28th." He said, "Well, one of you is tough."

She: "My sister is twice as funny as she used to be, she worked through her bitterness."

Correction officers from Canada, "We don't really have a justice system in Canada." (Too lenient)

He's from Jamaica: "America is a better place to build a life than Jamaica." 

The welder said, "I love life-people are awesome."

He had two women who were visiting him from another state, but he told me, "I picked them up in the airport by asking them, 'Do you want to party?'"

The J-1 student told me, "I'm studying Positive Psychology in Bulgaria."

On a girls weekend from Ohio they said, "Our husbands became friends first.  We all have two kids between two and seven."

She is living in a new apartment building and I asked, "Is the price reasonable?"  She replied, "I don't think anything is reasonable here."

He: "When I saw her I knew that I could marry up the ladder."

She: "In Jamaica, we don't have babies one after another, we spread them out so we can pay for their schooling.  Mine are 3, 11 and 18."

He told me, "South Carolina is eight times larger than Jamaica and we have only about 2.7 million people and South Carolina has 5 million people."

The New Yorker said, "I can't believe how many plastic bags you use down here?"

In 2014 the flight from the Philippines to here was $600 and today it is $2,200."

The doctor is a huge Chicago Bears fan and he told me this great experience. "I got on a subway in Chicago next to a very large guy and he was wearing a Super Bowl ring.  I started talking to him and found out his was a back-up player to Richard Dent and he was going to a 20th anniversary party for the 1985 Bears.  We talked a lot and he said to me, 'My wife couldn't make it and the party is only for players and coaches, would you like to go with me?' I went and met a lot of players and had a great time."

WHAT RIDERS SAY ABOUT LILY, MY MANNEQUIN HEAD

Uber driver who I didn't know, "It's awesome, that is great. I don't have cash, but I'm tipping you right now." (He did)

"She's beautiful."

"She has very pretty eyes."

Seeing her through the window the woman said, "I wasn't sure if I should get in the car."

I told them that I had a gift for them and one of them said, "Can I have Lily?"

He said, "Is this your girlfriend? Is she single?"

"She is very, very beautiful."

"That is crazy off the charts."

"I don't want to ever see her again, she almost gave me a heart attack."

The woman said, "You're not going to replace her with one of us, are you?"

"Hope your wife isn't jealous."

Looking at Lily, the young woman said, "Are you a psychopath?" After I told her I wasn't she said, "I didn't think so."

"She's a little troll.  You should bring her into my bar."

WHAT RIDERS SAY ABOUT ME AND MY CAR

"You're a comedian and you don't even know it."

"You have your own Myrtle Beach attraction here."

"You're a good driver."

"This was the coolest Uber ride ever."

"I enjoyed this ride."

Looking at my money, they young guy said, "Do you like money?"

He: "This was the best ride ever. You  made our day."

"This was an Uber we won't forget."

"You were wonderful."

He said to his wife, "Can we have him for every ride?"

"This is the most fun I've ever had in an Uber."

"Best Uber ride ever, what fun."

He: "I like your festivities."

"You have a lot of entertainment here."

"This was a great ride."

She: "I was having a bad day and you made it better."

"This was a very fun ride."

About my money museum, she said, "That is truly impressive."

"Thank you, that's the best ride I've ever had."

Guy in the Army, "This was a ride I did not expect."

From PA: "We could have driven with you for a couple more hours."

"This was a wonderful experience."

"You are awesome man."