Covering Up The Murder

We have all seen television shows or movies where someone dies.  Maybe it's murder or accidental death, but someone tries to cover it up.  Have you ever watched closely to see how they get the blood off the floor or the walls?  I wish I had paid more attention to that. No, there was no blood I had to remove and there was no murder, but it was almost as bad.

In the immortal words of fictional detective, Adrian Monk, here's what happened:

My wife was dog sitting in another town and had our dog too.  I had a very quiet and uneventful afternoon.  My wife would not be home until the next afternoon, what could go wrong? I took a short drive to the self car wash and washed the car and drove home.  

Since we're in a construction area I decided to put my washed car in the garage for the first time. And, that's when it happened. I opened the car door and took a couple steps and made some very large footprints in the garage.  When I washed the car at the car wash, the ground was wet, I never saw the mud.

I removed my sneakers which looked like I had trekked through a muddy swamp. 

How do I get all the mud off the garage floor? Paper towels were not working well.  Under our kitchen sink there were many cleaners and bleach and I tried several of them.  I started to make some progress, but now the garage smelled like bleach.  I wish I had a picture of the original stain, but this is after several cleanings.

I kept the garage door open and sprayed Febreze. What is stronger, bleach or Febreze? The smell was almost gone and then I looked at those sneakers.  They were on the way out and I thought I would be able to shake the mud out, but it was imbedded in the sneakers. I threw them in the garbage in the garage. I then realized that garbage needed to be emptied-no reason to leave evidence of the crime.

This is how the new design in the garage looked with light shining in from outside.  It might be just enough for my wife not to notice it.

When I washed my hands in the kitchen sink the kitchen now smelled like bleach.  I had a small fan I brought out and let it run for a half hour in the kitchen and the smell was gone.  But, what about my hands? How long would the bleach smell last? How many times do I have to wash my hands?

After committing this crime I suddenly realized that I had become Lady Macbeth.  In my favorite Shakespeare play, Macbetth, Lady Macbeth is constantly washing her hands.  She was trying to get the blood off her hands after her and her husband conspired to kill the King.  Below is her picture and the words she said now haunt me, "What's done cannot be undone."

While looking for a picture of Lady Macbeth washing her hands, I found a perfect gift for anyone who is suspected of a crime. This box of Lady Macbeth guest soap is only $4.95! Don't miss what it says on the bottom of the box.  Will it work on bleach?

THE END: My wife came home and parked over some of the mud stain and did not say anything...yet. My hands finally just smelled like normal dirty hands instead of bleached hands.  I was going to wait a year to post this, but when she reads it she'll probably say, "I saw it right away, I just didn't say anything."