How often do you do something new, something that you've never done? It's probably not too often, but the other day I did. There are a lot of things we haven't done, some may be simple or common and others may be pretty rare or unusual.
The new Star Wars movie came out and my wife did not want to see it. I had mentioned it to a couple people, but didn't find the right person, so I went to see the movie myself. This is not an uncommon thing for a lot of people, but it was very different for me. I've probably been to a hundred movies with my wife. I've been to movies with my kids, my brother, friends and when I was little, my sister too. But, last Friday was different-it was just me and people I did not know.
This is how it went: I arrived in plenty of time and went to pay for my ticket. Most of the time my wife buys the ticket, but I have paid for movie tickets so nothing unusual there. As I approached the refreshment stand I looked and then looked away. I could go a couple hours without eating or drinking, but probably not more than three hours.
Entering the theater I got to choose where to sit. Could I sit in a place I wouldn't normally sit? Nah, I went to the back row and sat down almost in the middle of the row. The back row was almost completely empty so it was quiet, too quiet. I had no one to chat with and rate the previews. During the movie, I didn't ask or answer any questions. No one got up in front of me and no one nudged me when my eyes closed. The movie ended and I walked down the steps without discussing the movie with anyone.
The movie was terrific, but I missed being able to share it with someone, especially my wife. Would I do it again? I guess so, but it just wasn't as much fun as it could have been.
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Monday, December 30, 2019
December Rider Stories
THE PFISH PEOPLE: I drove many Pfish fans to the concert in Charleston on a Saturday and Sunday and I learned a lot. The fans are called "Pfishheads" or "Phans" and they are some of the most dedicated music fans around. I had many passengers who had been to 50 or more concerts, including one who was going to his 294th Pfish concert. The group started in Vermont in 1983 and has never had a commercial hit. They are known for playing a wide variety of music and are exceptional musicians. It seems that many "Phans" either play music now or used to play a musical instrumental. My passengers were fun to talk to and extremely knowledgeable about music and Pfish. Many of them have groups of friends that they meet up with at concerts, some they haven't seen in many years. They are a very close and friendly group and they have had success in their diverse careers so they are able to travel to the concerts. Possibly their most famous fan is Mayor Pete Buttigieg, who is running for President of the United States. One guy summed it up best when he said that, "Pfish is the most popular band that no one has ever heard of."
THE CANCER SURGEON: He has accepted a job in Charleston after turning down an offer at Harvard. He was one of the doctors who had Steven Jobs as a patient. Fortunately, he didn't get into any medical details in my car, but he was very interesting to listen to. His success rate with patients is around 70%, while most doctors have a 7% success rate. A few years back he was told by one of his supervisors that his methods were not acceptable. Four years later, the same supervisor offered him a prestigious position in front of an auditorium crowd and he pretended he couldn't hear him. The supervisor joked that he owed him some drinks since he was the motivation for his success and persistence. He told me something he tells his students, "when you are convinced you are doing something right, you should always be persistent in your efforts."
THE STUDENT: I have heard that some people say that, "you can never have enough education," however, how many people live that? My passenger is completing her 7th degree, her fourth bachelor's degree, 2nd associates degree and one master's degree. (or is it 2 bachelor's, 4 associates and a master's degree?) She is a massage therapist and does other therapy too. She told me, "the benefits are terrible and the pay too." I told her it would make a great commercial with the last line-"come join me, you'll love it." When I dropped her off to go on a cruise she said, "I've been too busy being a student to travel." I mentioned that they probably had some classes on the cruise and she replied, "I did see one that looked interesting." She may be still in class, even on her cruise. She had an infectious laugh and I enjoyed entertaining her in my car.
THE ARGUMENT: As they got in the car they were arguing on a Saturday night about work. One of them was a chemist and the other one an engineer. They did have a couple drinks, but their battle continued for the entire ride. The woman,(the chemist) said, "we don't need people like you coming in to solve our problems. We do it ourselves and save money." At one point she was so angry she said, "I want to kill you." I had trouble following the words they were using and said, "I wish my son who is a chemical engineer could translate this for me." The guy said near the end of the ride, "I wish I was more aggressive in this argument, because I could win it." I said, "after 36 years of marriage I know that sometimes by not winning the argument, you actually win it." The woman yelled out, "that's what every F'N man in this country needs to learn." For my comment I got a hug from her when I dropped them off. I asked if they were together and they said they were friends sort of. I have a good feeling they are more than friends and the night was just beginning.
THE ITALIAN ENGINEER: I was taking him to see the new Star Wars movie which I had seen the day before. He loved going to movies, but doesn't go very often because of work. He lives in Italy and works on a cruise ship as one of the engineers and never has a day off. He enjoys it, but misses going to the movies. He had some hours off with the ship docked in Charleston. He told me that the most difficult part of the job is docking into port and coordinating it with the helm. We talked about Star Wars and all of the movies he has seen and most of them he saw several times. As he got out of my van I could not help it and got a big grin from him when I said, "may the force be with you."
THE CONDUCTOR: The concert conductor was in school college studying international relations and journalism when a professor said that he had the personality of a conductor. He was passionate about music so he decided to change his major. He's in charge of a large music building where he works as an employee, but as a conductor he is an independent contractor. We had a great conversation about the advantages and challenges of being an independent contractor.
THE HAIR LADY: She was annoyed immediately since I was looking for her on the other side of the building before I went to the correct side. She said almost nothing during our ride to her first stop. She was fixing her hair before we stopped. When she went in the store I got out to clean the car quickly. On the back seat was three large clumps of hair which I did not touch. When she came out I said with a smile, "I was just cleaning the car and found that on the back seat. I'm guessing you don't want them, but that's more hair than I have on my head." She did smile and took the hair back, but she was still unhappy.
THE SADDEST RIDE: Most of my rides are somewhere between pleasant and a lot of fun. Sometimes, I have a quiet ride since the passenger doesn't want to talk and occasionally I have a very odd ride. Rarely do I ever have a sad ride, but this one was awful. I picked up an older man who probably was in his seventies. He had been here a few days from Kentucky. His son had a serious medical issue earlier in the week when his blood pressure hit the roof and somehow damaged his brain. He still didn't have all the details, but his 45 year old son could not move parts of his body and showed signs of acting as a child. The story got worse because the son had recently lost his job and two months ago he had to bury his wife after a brain aneurysm. Two years ago,the son had to bury his only child who died in a car accident. I felt awful for the Dad and told him I would say a prayer for him.
With the new year beginning it's a good time to feel grateful for health and the life we have.
THE CANCER SURGEON: He has accepted a job in Charleston after turning down an offer at Harvard. He was one of the doctors who had Steven Jobs as a patient. Fortunately, he didn't get into any medical details in my car, but he was very interesting to listen to. His success rate with patients is around 70%, while most doctors have a 7% success rate. A few years back he was told by one of his supervisors that his methods were not acceptable. Four years later, the same supervisor offered him a prestigious position in front of an auditorium crowd and he pretended he couldn't hear him. The supervisor joked that he owed him some drinks since he was the motivation for his success and persistence. He told me something he tells his students, "when you are convinced you are doing something right, you should always be persistent in your efforts."
THE STUDENT: I have heard that some people say that, "you can never have enough education," however, how many people live that? My passenger is completing her 7th degree, her fourth bachelor's degree, 2nd associates degree and one master's degree. (or is it 2 bachelor's, 4 associates and a master's degree?) She is a massage therapist and does other therapy too. She told me, "the benefits are terrible and the pay too." I told her it would make a great commercial with the last line-"come join me, you'll love it." When I dropped her off to go on a cruise she said, "I've been too busy being a student to travel." I mentioned that they probably had some classes on the cruise and she replied, "I did see one that looked interesting." She may be still in class, even on her cruise. She had an infectious laugh and I enjoyed entertaining her in my car.
THE ARGUMENT: As they got in the car they were arguing on a Saturday night about work. One of them was a chemist and the other one an engineer. They did have a couple drinks, but their battle continued for the entire ride. The woman,(the chemist) said, "we don't need people like you coming in to solve our problems. We do it ourselves and save money." At one point she was so angry she said, "I want to kill you." I had trouble following the words they were using and said, "I wish my son who is a chemical engineer could translate this for me." The guy said near the end of the ride, "I wish I was more aggressive in this argument, because I could win it." I said, "after 36 years of marriage I know that sometimes by not winning the argument, you actually win it." The woman yelled out, "that's what every F'N man in this country needs to learn." For my comment I got a hug from her when I dropped them off. I asked if they were together and they said they were friends sort of. I have a good feeling they are more than friends and the night was just beginning.
THE ITALIAN ENGINEER: I was taking him to see the new Star Wars movie which I had seen the day before. He loved going to movies, but doesn't go very often because of work. He lives in Italy and works on a cruise ship as one of the engineers and never has a day off. He enjoys it, but misses going to the movies. He had some hours off with the ship docked in Charleston. He told me that the most difficult part of the job is docking into port and coordinating it with the helm. We talked about Star Wars and all of the movies he has seen and most of them he saw several times. As he got out of my van I could not help it and got a big grin from him when I said, "may the force be with you."
THE CONDUCTOR: The concert conductor was in school college studying international relations and journalism when a professor said that he had the personality of a conductor. He was passionate about music so he decided to change his major. He's in charge of a large music building where he works as an employee, but as a conductor he is an independent contractor. We had a great conversation about the advantages and challenges of being an independent contractor.
THE HAIR LADY: She was annoyed immediately since I was looking for her on the other side of the building before I went to the correct side. She said almost nothing during our ride to her first stop. She was fixing her hair before we stopped. When she went in the store I got out to clean the car quickly. On the back seat was three large clumps of hair which I did not touch. When she came out I said with a smile, "I was just cleaning the car and found that on the back seat. I'm guessing you don't want them, but that's more hair than I have on my head." She did smile and took the hair back, but she was still unhappy.
THE SADDEST RIDE: Most of my rides are somewhere between pleasant and a lot of fun. Sometimes, I have a quiet ride since the passenger doesn't want to talk and occasionally I have a very odd ride. Rarely do I ever have a sad ride, but this one was awful. I picked up an older man who probably was in his seventies. He had been here a few days from Kentucky. His son had a serious medical issue earlier in the week when his blood pressure hit the roof and somehow damaged his brain. He still didn't have all the details, but his 45 year old son could not move parts of his body and showed signs of acting as a child. The story got worse because the son had recently lost his job and two months ago he had to bury his wife after a brain aneurysm. Two years ago,the son had to bury his only child who died in a car accident. I felt awful for the Dad and told him I would say a prayer for him.
With the new year beginning it's a good time to feel grateful for health and the life we have.
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Who Has A "Zest for Life?"
I have heard the phrase before, "zest for life," but the other day I was told that I have it. A rider commented on the my app, " I love your zest for life." I'm pretty sure she was a professor who I did make laugh a lot during the ride. I've never had someone say that about me, maybe it is accurate. It got me thinking about what it really is and who do I consider to have a "zest for life."
I checked the internet of course for a definition and I found, "a feeling of enjoyment and enthusiasm for life." A broader explanation was, "they are full of life; filled with anticipation in looking beyond the next horizon; filled with enthusiasm as they extend their warmth and compassion to everyone they meet; or bubbling over with humor as they meet both the hills and valleys of life headlong. These are people who never see a roadblock but only a solution; these are people who will give their services to others before thinking of their own needs; these are people who you love to be around because it's impossible to stay moody and blue in their presence."
I'm too modest to say I fit perfectly to that description, but I can see that I may be considered to be in the ballpark. When I'm driving and picking up people, I am enthusiastically interested in who they are and what they've done. I never know what great story or comment I'll hear or will this ride be one of my favorite rides? Also, one of the reasons Monday is my favorite day of the week is that I can focus on the week ahead and not what happened last week or on the weekend.
These are a couple people I've come in contact with who I think have a "zest for life." In one of the hospitals there is a guy I always see walking in the hallways whistling. You can't help but notice it and although I've never said more than a few words to him, I have a strong feeling he is very optimistic about life. In another hospital is a guy who volunteers and is in a wheelchair. I don't know his story, but he always has a big smile on his face and says hello to me. He's someone you can tell is fun to be around. Earlier this year I had a passenger who had recovered from a very serious car accident in high school and he works as a greeter in a store and he considered himself, "an attitude adjuster." When I dropped him off at a breakfast place that hadn't opened yet, he stood at the door clowning around by flapping his arms like a bird to the person walking towards the door. He was a real joy to talk with him.
As the above quote says, "there are people who you love to be around." Imagine a world where everyone had a goal to be one of those people! So, who do you know who has a "zest for life?"
I checked the internet of course for a definition and I found, "a feeling of enjoyment and enthusiasm for life." A broader explanation was, "they are full of life; filled with anticipation in looking beyond the next horizon; filled with enthusiasm as they extend their warmth and compassion to everyone they meet; or bubbling over with humor as they meet both the hills and valleys of life headlong. These are people who never see a roadblock but only a solution; these are people who will give their services to others before thinking of their own needs; these are people who you love to be around because it's impossible to stay moody and blue in their presence."
I'm too modest to say I fit perfectly to that description, but I can see that I may be considered to be in the ballpark. When I'm driving and picking up people, I am enthusiastically interested in who they are and what they've done. I never know what great story or comment I'll hear or will this ride be one of my favorite rides? Also, one of the reasons Monday is my favorite day of the week is that I can focus on the week ahead and not what happened last week or on the weekend.
These are a couple people I've come in contact with who I think have a "zest for life." In one of the hospitals there is a guy I always see walking in the hallways whistling. You can't help but notice it and although I've never said more than a few words to him, I have a strong feeling he is very optimistic about life. In another hospital is a guy who volunteers and is in a wheelchair. I don't know his story, but he always has a big smile on his face and says hello to me. He's someone you can tell is fun to be around. Earlier this year I had a passenger who had recovered from a very serious car accident in high school and he works as a greeter in a store and he considered himself, "an attitude adjuster." When I dropped him off at a breakfast place that hadn't opened yet, he stood at the door clowning around by flapping his arms like a bird to the person walking towards the door. He was a real joy to talk with him.
As the above quote says, "there are people who you love to be around." Imagine a world where everyone had a goal to be one of those people! So, who do you know who has a "zest for life?"
Monday, December 16, 2019
MALL WALKING THIRTY YEARS AGO TONIGHT
There are some things you don't forget, however, most people can easily forget walking in a mall. But, thirty years ago, was really unforgettable. We were going to be first time parents and my wife was ready. The advice we had always heard was to go to a mall and just walk a lot when she was close. I don't know what that does or how it works. Could it be that the baby sees how much fun walking in the mall is and wants to join you?
After a lengthy walk we headed home to go to bed. That next morning was a Sunday and it was the day. It was a little nerve racking getting to the hospital, but we made it. They put me in a room and told me to put on some scrubs or gown- it was something I had to cover myself with. And, then I waited and waited which seemed like an eternity.
Finally, they brought me in and my wife was lying there and they said, "she's just about ready." I almost missed the birth, not that I really saw it. I was more concerned about my wife so I was talking to her and watching her. I was confident the doctor could take care of the baby. This of course is the one time in my life that focusing on my wife is not the best course of action. She wanted me to watch the birth.
And then, just like that in the nine o'clock hour, we had a baby girl. My wife was holding her with a big grin on her face and of course I wanted to get a picture of my two favorite girls. Using all of my technical skills, I had the camera and said to my wife,"how does this work?" She set it up for me and I took the picture. (selfies weren't invented yet, otherwise she would have done it)
Our daughter turns 30 tomorrow on December 17th. Happy Birthday Tess! I'd use her real name, but she always tells me I shouldn't use real names, so I'll call her Tess today. She has been a joy in our life since the morning after we did some serious mall walking.
After a lengthy walk we headed home to go to bed. That next morning was a Sunday and it was the day. It was a little nerve racking getting to the hospital, but we made it. They put me in a room and told me to put on some scrubs or gown- it was something I had to cover myself with. And, then I waited and waited which seemed like an eternity.
Finally, they brought me in and my wife was lying there and they said, "she's just about ready." I almost missed the birth, not that I really saw it. I was more concerned about my wife so I was talking to her and watching her. I was confident the doctor could take care of the baby. This of course is the one time in my life that focusing on my wife is not the best course of action. She wanted me to watch the birth.
And then, just like that in the nine o'clock hour, we had a baby girl. My wife was holding her with a big grin on her face and of course I wanted to get a picture of my two favorite girls. Using all of my technical skills, I had the camera and said to my wife,"how does this work?" She set it up for me and I took the picture. (selfies weren't invented yet, otherwise she would have done it)
Our daughter turns 30 tomorrow on December 17th. Happy Birthday Tess! I'd use her real name, but she always tells me I shouldn't use real names, so I'll call her Tess today. She has been a joy in our life since the morning after we did some serious mall walking.
Friday, December 6, 2019
Everyone Loves Ramen?
I couldn't resist writing that title which of course is a parody to the name of the classic television show, "Everyone Loves Raymond." The real title of this blog is- "Something I Didn't Know-Ramen." As my wife and children will gladly tell you, there a lot of things I just do not know. I'm not talking about something like-how to build an igloo, but instead, things that a lot of people somehow know and I have no clue about. (of course this would include just about everything involving a computer or cellphone)
That is where Ramen comes in. I had to write about this since one of my daughter's said, "don't blog about this." I knew at that moment, I had to write this. I may make this a monthly blog on something I did not know and just heard about.
At a restaurant the day after Thanksgiving we were talking about food and someone mentioned Ramen. I really thought it was spelled Raymond or Ramon, or even Ramin. It's probably not capitalized either, but I had no idea what it was. We looked it up on the phone and it's some kind of noodles. According to Wikipedia, a very reliable source, this is the definition of what it is:
That is where Ramen comes in. I had to write about this since one of my daughter's said, "don't blog about this." I knew at that moment, I had to write this. I may make this a monthly blog on something I did not know and just heard about.
At a restaurant the day after Thanksgiving we were talking about food and someone mentioned Ramen. I really thought it was spelled Raymond or Ramon, or even Ramin. It's probably not capitalized either, but I had no idea what it was. We looked it up on the phone and it's some kind of noodles. According to Wikipedia, a very reliable source, this is the definition of what it is:
Ramen (/ˈrɑːmən/) (拉麺, ラーメン rāmen, IPA: [ɾaꜜːmeɴ]) is a Japanese dish with a translation of "pulled noodles". It consists of Chinese wheat noodles served in a meat or (occasionally) fish-based broth, often flavored with soy sauce or miso, and uses toppings such as sliced pork (叉焼 chāshū), nori (dried seaweed), menma, and scallions. Nearly every region in Japan has its own variation.
I can't believe this is common and everyone knows about it. We literally left the restaurant and less than a mile away we saw a restaurant with Ramen in the name. Are there a lot of these? I have no idea, but one of these days I'm going to have to eat Ramen. I like noodles, why not Ramen? And in the above definition of Ramen, it mentions "nori" as being dried seaweed. I think I know why I had never heard about that, but noodles that are called Ramen? I learned something, how about that?
Wednesday, December 4, 2019
Happy Birthday Dad
Many times in my blogs I have referenced my readers who are over 90 and the truth is that I have only one reader over 90, my Dad. Today, December 5th, is his birthday. I won't tell you how old he is today, but at Thanksgiving he was 92 years old. (I know he just laughed at that and maybe one of my children)
My Dad will be slightly to mildly embarrassed reading something about himself, but there's no need to be concerned Dad. There are only about a dozen people reading this and most of them are related to us.
I call my Dad 5-6 times a week and in five to ten minutes we cover all the important things in life: what the weather was that day in New Jersey and Myrtle Beach, if I had a long day, and of course we talk about the latest Knick and Giant loss. Right now, he's thinking about what he's going to say when I call tonight, he might even say he read this post.
Dad, I didn't send you a card since I made you one that I gave you on Thanksgiving. I made him cards for each holiday during the next year. I saved on postage and buying a card and they look ridiculous. The card I made wished him a Happy Birthday and it had 90 plus dashes on the paper and it said something like, "These 90 plus marks on the paper would look like candles if I could draw candles."
Happy Birthday Dad, I love you.
My Dad will be slightly to mildly embarrassed reading something about himself, but there's no need to be concerned Dad. There are only about a dozen people reading this and most of them are related to us.
I call my Dad 5-6 times a week and in five to ten minutes we cover all the important things in life: what the weather was that day in New Jersey and Myrtle Beach, if I had a long day, and of course we talk about the latest Knick and Giant loss. Right now, he's thinking about what he's going to say when I call tonight, he might even say he read this post.
Dad, I didn't send you a card since I made you one that I gave you on Thanksgiving. I made him cards for each holiday during the next year. I saved on postage and buying a card and they look ridiculous. The card I made wished him a Happy Birthday and it had 90 plus dashes on the paper and it said something like, "These 90 plus marks on the paper would look like candles if I could draw candles."
Happy Birthday Dad, I love you.
I Can't Forget About the Cranberry Bread
In my last post, I spared you a list of all the foods I ate during our 100 hour Thanksgiving Feast. However, I did forget to mention one of my all-time favorite foods: cranberry bread. I talked about it too much last year on this blog, so I will spare you on all the details.
However, my wife made a bunch of cranberry bread for the holiday and she brought two small loaves with us for me to eat in the car. And eat them I did! They were delicious. It was my Mom's recipe and my wife made them perfectly.
Of course, I did not eat them perfectly. I ate them in the car, mostly while I was driving. There were crumbs that I could not get before they hit the ground and my wife wound up cleaning them off the mat. If I had to pick one food that was the best thing I ate over the four days, it would be the cranberry bread. Although, that chocolate cake Friday was great and the piece I had after dinner Thursday was really good too. The scallops were amazing Friday night and I loved the Turkey breasts we had for dinner on Thursday. I lost track on how many times I ate chicken, but the chicken was all really good.
I'm done, but I'm hungry again. It's all because I forgot about the cranberry bread!
However, my wife made a bunch of cranberry bread for the holiday and she brought two small loaves with us for me to eat in the car. And eat them I did! They were delicious. It was my Mom's recipe and my wife made them perfectly.
Of course, I did not eat them perfectly. I ate them in the car, mostly while I was driving. There were crumbs that I could not get before they hit the ground and my wife wound up cleaning them off the mat. If I had to pick one food that was the best thing I ate over the four days, it would be the cranberry bread. Although, that chocolate cake Friday was great and the piece I had after dinner Thursday was really good too. The scallops were amazing Friday night and I loved the Turkey breasts we had for dinner on Thursday. I lost track on how many times I ate chicken, but the chicken was all really good.
I'm done, but I'm hungry again. It's all because I forgot about the cranberry bread!
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
100 Hours of Thanksgiving Eating
(Warning: If you're hungry or just ate a lot, you may want to put off reading this right now)
It's very common that the week after Thanksgiving you hear someone say, "I ate too much at Thanksgiving." Sometimes it's the turkey or the side dishes or the desserts or even all three of them. There's no question that people eat a lot on Thanksgiving, but that's really only part of the story.
What about people who travel to celebrate the holiday? They are usually not just eating one day, but several days. Everything gets mixed into celebrating the holiday and it's pretty normal to eat too much every day.
Our holiday, driving to New Jersey and back to South Carolina, added up to four days, or approximately 100 hours of excessive eating. It didn't have to be that way, but it's very easy to do-it's a holiday.
I ate in eight restaurants during that time. That is enough for a few months for me,, but I did it in 100 hours. I ate breakfast three straight days in hotels and enjoyed hot eggs, which were very good. After drinking only a half a glass of soda the past two months, during by Thanksgiving Feast I think I had close to ten glasses of soda. One day I had two breakfasts by adding on a bagel and cream cheese and a half of a breakfast sandwich. I only had three pieces of chocolate cake, but no ice cream.
Our final destination for the holiday came about two hours from home Sunday night. We finally stopped and ate KFC for the first time since moving to the south. We sat there eating that chicken as if we had never eaten chicken before. Just to top it off, I left one piece for lunch the next day and as I was driving, I devoured the last of our Thanksgiving Feast.
I will not be getting on my scale this week, because I know what's there-a lot. It was fun and unhealthy and we'll probably do it all again next year. I may even cut back a little bit. Yesterday,
I told someone I was delivering to, that I ate too much for the holiday. She said, "I wasn't really hungry on Thanksgiving." If you're not hungry on Thanksgiving, you really have a problem! I feel sorry for her.
It's very common that the week after Thanksgiving you hear someone say, "I ate too much at Thanksgiving." Sometimes it's the turkey or the side dishes or the desserts or even all three of them. There's no question that people eat a lot on Thanksgiving, but that's really only part of the story.
What about people who travel to celebrate the holiday? They are usually not just eating one day, but several days. Everything gets mixed into celebrating the holiday and it's pretty normal to eat too much every day.
Our holiday, driving to New Jersey and back to South Carolina, added up to four days, or approximately 100 hours of excessive eating. It didn't have to be that way, but it's very easy to do-it's a holiday.
I ate in eight restaurants during that time. That is enough for a few months for me,, but I did it in 100 hours. I ate breakfast three straight days in hotels and enjoyed hot eggs, which were very good. After drinking only a half a glass of soda the past two months, during by Thanksgiving Feast I think I had close to ten glasses of soda. One day I had two breakfasts by adding on a bagel and cream cheese and a half of a breakfast sandwich. I only had three pieces of chocolate cake, but no ice cream.
Our final destination for the holiday came about two hours from home Sunday night. We finally stopped and ate KFC for the first time since moving to the south. We sat there eating that chicken as if we had never eaten chicken before. Just to top it off, I left one piece for lunch the next day and as I was driving, I devoured the last of our Thanksgiving Feast.
I will not be getting on my scale this week, because I know what's there-a lot. It was fun and unhealthy and we'll probably do it all again next year. I may even cut back a little bit. Yesterday,
I told someone I was delivering to, that I ate too much for the holiday. She said, "I wasn't really hungry on Thanksgiving." If you're not hungry on Thanksgiving, you really have a problem! I feel sorry for her.
Monday, December 2, 2019
November Rider Quotes
"Do we smell good or do we smell like a whorehouse?"(4 women from Savannah dressed up)
"I've been to Greg Norman's Restaurant 200-300 times."
"We can't see you. We're in the parking lot. We are three medium to large sized humans."
First words from the rider- "So you don't eat salad?"
"In New York, people always look angry."
"So you're married 36 years? How's that working for you?"
"I had a problem with an Uber driver.(in Charleston) He showed my partner and I a video of him partying with girls he picked up. He was kissing them and they were flashing and he looked like he was 70 years old."
"I'm 75 years old and I have 35 grandchildren."
"I don't roar, unless he needs to be roared at."
"I'm surprised you're from the north, you seem like a southerner"
"New Mexico is the "Land of Entrapment." It's too beautiful there to move, but there's absolutely nothing to do there."
"I moved to San Diego to chase women when I was young and stupid. I found her and married her."
"There aren't enough restaurants in Mt. Pleasant."(TripAdvisor says there are 502!)
"I wish people down here would be a little less nice, but more efficient in their work."
"People in New York think I'm insane for smiling so much." (grew up in the south)
"I'm not a very nice person."
"We'd like to get a van like yours and throw all the suckers in the back for a trip."(7 dogs they love)
"I love people, I believe in their existence."
"I have a very short attention span, just ask my friends."
"I once bought a gallon of milk in Hawaii for $12."
"If you believe in your heart that you should do something, you should do it."
"Hipsters are all about beards and brunch. Many of them have beards and they love to eat brunch."
"I paid almost $900 a month in gas for my truck in California and I really didn't drive a lot."
"I have the softest hands." Me: "I'll have to take your word for it." Rider: "I demonstrate the lotion by massaging people's hands. I like people-they have hands."
"I'll sit up front, I didn't want you to be subservient to me."
(A South Carolina guy drove a 20 year old woman from Columbia to Myrtle Beach after her car broke down and paid $150 for her car to be towed and refused any payment) New Jersey Rider said: "If that happened in New Jersey he would have shot her and taken her car."
"The Three Stooges were really stupid."
"There are too many people on the planet"
(Sleep-deprived young female on Sunday morning who was still feeling some effects from drinking on Saturday night) I'm a f______n' Academic Weapon."
"I've been to Greg Norman's Restaurant 200-300 times."
"We can't see you. We're in the parking lot. We are three medium to large sized humans."
First words from the rider- "So you don't eat salad?"
"In New York, people always look angry."
"So you're married 36 years? How's that working for you?"
"I had a problem with an Uber driver.(in Charleston) He showed my partner and I a video of him partying with girls he picked up. He was kissing them and they were flashing and he looked like he was 70 years old."
"I'm 75 years old and I have 35 grandchildren."
"I don't roar, unless he needs to be roared at."
"I'm surprised you're from the north, you seem like a southerner"
"New Mexico is the "Land of Entrapment." It's too beautiful there to move, but there's absolutely nothing to do there."
"I moved to San Diego to chase women when I was young and stupid. I found her and married her."
"There aren't enough restaurants in Mt. Pleasant."(TripAdvisor says there are 502!)
"I wish people down here would be a little less nice, but more efficient in their work."
"People in New York think I'm insane for smiling so much." (grew up in the south)
"I'm not a very nice person."
"We'd like to get a van like yours and throw all the suckers in the back for a trip."(7 dogs they love)
"I love people, I believe in their existence."
"I have a very short attention span, just ask my friends."
"I once bought a gallon of milk in Hawaii for $12."
"If you believe in your heart that you should do something, you should do it."
"Hipsters are all about beards and brunch. Many of them have beards and they love to eat brunch."
"I paid almost $900 a month in gas for my truck in California and I really didn't drive a lot."
"I have the softest hands." Me: "I'll have to take your word for it." Rider: "I demonstrate the lotion by massaging people's hands. I like people-they have hands."
"I'll sit up front, I didn't want you to be subservient to me."
(A South Carolina guy drove a 20 year old woman from Columbia to Myrtle Beach after her car broke down and paid $150 for her car to be towed and refused any payment) New Jersey Rider said: "If that happened in New Jersey he would have shot her and taken her car."
"The Three Stooges were really stupid."
"There are too many people on the planet"
(Sleep-deprived young female on Sunday morning who was still feeling some effects from drinking on Saturday night) I'm a f______n' Academic Weapon."
Sunday, December 1, 2019
November Rider Stories
THE ULTIMATE SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY STORY: I know that I have a bunch of good stories that make people laugh and surprise people who are not used to people being so nice. However, my 21 year old passenger from Minnesota, has the best story. She has been in South Carolina less than two years and about a year ago her car broke down and she needed coolant. She had to walk two miles to a gas station and when she bought it a man pumping gas asked her if she needed help. She asked if he could drive her to her car two miles away and the man did it and put the coolant in, but there was a hole and she was really stuck. She was in Columbia, South Carolina, over two hours away from Myrtle Beach where she lived. The man offered to drive her home. She said that he was very religious and he felt that God was telling him that day to help someone. He drove her home and then drove over two hours back to Columbia. He refused to take any money from her. Her car had to be towed and he paid $150 and would not let her pay him back. I told her that in a recent travel survey that South Carolina was voted the number three friendliest state and Minnesota was voted number one. She said that South Carolina was definitely friendlier than Minnesota, which is where she had spent most of her life. It's going to take me a long time to come up with a Southern Hospitality story to beat this one.
THE RIDE: (This is the condensed story I wrote my comedy sketch about recently)During the past sixteen months I've given about 2,700 Uber and Lyft rides. There has been only a few times that I have had an unusual and instant connection with a rider. It happened recently on a Saturday night in downtown Charleston with my last ride which was 1.24 miles and took 9 minutes to finish.. I pulled up on one side of the street and recognized four women in their twenties(?), on the other side of the road. As they crossed the street, one of them who I'll call "K", was leading the pack and immediately started commending me on my high rating as a driver. I started laughing,because she was crossing a busy street in the dark and I knew immediately this was going to be a ride to remember. I opened the front door for her and said something about the service she was getting.
As I started driving, "K" said to me, "the ride is only a mile long, is that okay?" Having known her for about thirty seconds I said, "you're all already in the car, I'm kind of stuck with you." Her reply was something like, "if you kick us out, I'm going to have to rate you a 1." I immediately said, "you do realize that I get to rate the passenger, right?" I asked who was the person who ordered the ride and "k" told me that she was in the back.(she lied, it was her) When I found out I said, "have you ever done stand-up?" She replied, "no, should I? We should do it together, maybe later tonight?"
I was trying to get them to their destination in the dark and the woman to my right had me laughing constantly while I tried to keep pace with her. I told her that recently a rider gave me the nickname, "Jeff-fro, No-fro," and she suddenly blurted out, "I have to show you something, I have to show you something."(this is distracting when a woman is saying that to a man while he's driving) I had her wait until I finally stopped and saw a picture of her in the second grade with an afro, which fit right into the conversation, because she was no-fro now too.
I told her that I would definitely have to write about her in my blog and she said she wanted to read it so I made plans to send it to her. I believe she had a couple drinks, but it was obvious to me that she had quite a personality. I told her that I wouldn't be able to take her on a longer route, because I would be laughing too much. This was a ride that would be impossible to forget.
THE NURSE TO BE: I started driving my passenger to Wal-Mart where she was going to work. She was definitely a little stressed out. In three weeks she was going to graduate from a Nursing Program and she would be able to get a full-time job that would pay her very well. She was focusing on all the work she had to do for school and she was overwhelmed. Her goal was to work in a hospital in the MUSC Department to care for very small children. She had worked part-time there and was told she did great work, but she lacked the confidence in herself to believe that she was really good. I gave her a pep talk and we talked about how great it's going to feel to achieve her first significant goal. I told her that she could get it done and I would provide her with some extra motivation the first week of December. I told her to send me her e-mail address and I would e-mail her this story. So, I'm now talking to you "nurse to be": you're going to do it and you will be very proud of what you've accomplished. Don't forget: there are Mom's and Dad's out there who will be counting on your loving care to help their child. Congratulations on your graduation!
THE DIE-HARD RED SOX FAN: We were having a good conversation when he said he was a big Red Sox fan. Immediately, I went into my fun story where I educated two close friends who were about 26 and one rooted for The Red Sox and the other for The Yankees. I knew he would like the story, but he interrupted me before I could finish. He knew I would love his story. He is from Connecticut, and half his family are Red Sox fans and the other half are Yankee fans. His grandfather was a huge Yankee fan and oddly enough all the grandchildren except him were Yankee fans. His grandfather, a die-hard Yankee fan, always needled him about being a Red Sox fan, but he got his revenge. His grandfather passed away one month after the Red Sox won their first World Series in 2004 since the early 1900's. At the funeral, many of the grandchildren left Yankee things in the coffin with their grandfather. My passenger took a newspaper of the Red Sox winning the championship and tucked it under his grandfather's arm inside the coffin. But, it got even better! Three years later, The Red Sox won another championship and this guy went to the cemetery with a friend of his and brought his grandfather's favorite liquor. They toasted The Red Sox championship and he left another newspaper showing them winning the championship, on top of his grandfather's tombstone. I'm going to have start telling his story!
NOT SCOTT: I was scheduled to pick up Scott, but it was obvious immediately that it wasn't going to happen. A woman in her 40's came smiling out of the house towards my car. I said, "There's no way you're Scott." She said, "I am Scott. Why can't I be Scott?" "You are not Scott," I said again. She said, "Scott could be a very nice name for a girl." She wasn't Scott, but I told her I would call her, "not Scott." Our conversation turned pretty serious, since she was still upset by what happened at school with her thirteen year old son two days ago. He was going to get in trouble for using his cell phone, when suddenly he started crying. His mom said he's been going through some "puberty" things and was trying to avoid getting in trouble. The Vice-Principal got involved and asked her son if everything was okay at home and asked if anyone had a drinking problem. The boy told him that his Mom got "tipsy" sometimes. You can imagine how well that went over with "not Scott." Then, the Vice Principal called a woman who she carpools with and asked her if everything was okay in the family. "Not Scott" vented a lot and told me more about her marriage and family situation then I needed to know. She's a professional artist and she showed some of the things she's done and it was impressive. My advice to her was to vent all she wants before approaching the Vice-Principal or the Principal. It sounds like the Vice-Principal went a little too far in his concern for her son. I would have just laughed about it and then spoke to someone, but I think "not Scott" will need a little more venting before she deals with it.
HE BECAME A SOUTHERNER: Growing up in Spokane, Washington was very different than living in North Carolina now. Out west, people were very tough and individualistic and on their own a lot. They always felt that they were capable of making their own decisions. My rider told me it was a big adjustment moving to the South. He could not get over how friendly people were and that his in-laws were constantly trying to do things for him. He said, "I had to get used to how people talked to me." He explained the cultural differences and that people in the South show how much they care by paying a lot of attention to you. It's just not the same out west, but he does like it now. It's not that easy "becoming a southerner."
THE RIDE: (This is the condensed story I wrote my comedy sketch about recently)During the past sixteen months I've given about 2,700 Uber and Lyft rides. There has been only a few times that I have had an unusual and instant connection with a rider. It happened recently on a Saturday night in downtown Charleston with my last ride which was 1.24 miles and took 9 minutes to finish.. I pulled up on one side of the street and recognized four women in their twenties(?), on the other side of the road. As they crossed the street, one of them who I'll call "K", was leading the pack and immediately started commending me on my high rating as a driver. I started laughing,because she was crossing a busy street in the dark and I knew immediately this was going to be a ride to remember. I opened the front door for her and said something about the service she was getting.
As I started driving, "K" said to me, "the ride is only a mile long, is that okay?" Having known her for about thirty seconds I said, "you're all already in the car, I'm kind of stuck with you." Her reply was something like, "if you kick us out, I'm going to have to rate you a 1." I immediately said, "you do realize that I get to rate the passenger, right?" I asked who was the person who ordered the ride and "k" told me that she was in the back.(she lied, it was her) When I found out I said, "have you ever done stand-up?" She replied, "no, should I? We should do it together, maybe later tonight?"
I was trying to get them to their destination in the dark and the woman to my right had me laughing constantly while I tried to keep pace with her. I told her that recently a rider gave me the nickname, "Jeff-fro, No-fro," and she suddenly blurted out, "I have to show you something, I have to show you something."(this is distracting when a woman is saying that to a man while he's driving) I had her wait until I finally stopped and saw a picture of her in the second grade with an afro, which fit right into the conversation, because she was no-fro now too.
I told her that I would definitely have to write about her in my blog and she said she wanted to read it so I made plans to send it to her. I believe she had a couple drinks, but it was obvious to me that she had quite a personality. I told her that I wouldn't be able to take her on a longer route, because I would be laughing too much. This was a ride that would be impossible to forget.
THE NURSE TO BE: I started driving my passenger to Wal-Mart where she was going to work. She was definitely a little stressed out. In three weeks she was going to graduate from a Nursing Program and she would be able to get a full-time job that would pay her very well. She was focusing on all the work she had to do for school and she was overwhelmed. Her goal was to work in a hospital in the MUSC Department to care for very small children. She had worked part-time there and was told she did great work, but she lacked the confidence in herself to believe that she was really good. I gave her a pep talk and we talked about how great it's going to feel to achieve her first significant goal. I told her that she could get it done and I would provide her with some extra motivation the first week of December. I told her to send me her e-mail address and I would e-mail her this story. So, I'm now talking to you "nurse to be": you're going to do it and you will be very proud of what you've accomplished. Don't forget: there are Mom's and Dad's out there who will be counting on your loving care to help their child. Congratulations on your graduation!
THE DIE-HARD RED SOX FAN: We were having a good conversation when he said he was a big Red Sox fan. Immediately, I went into my fun story where I educated two close friends who were about 26 and one rooted for The Red Sox and the other for The Yankees. I knew he would like the story, but he interrupted me before I could finish. He knew I would love his story. He is from Connecticut, and half his family are Red Sox fans and the other half are Yankee fans. His grandfather was a huge Yankee fan and oddly enough all the grandchildren except him were Yankee fans. His grandfather, a die-hard Yankee fan, always needled him about being a Red Sox fan, but he got his revenge. His grandfather passed away one month after the Red Sox won their first World Series in 2004 since the early 1900's. At the funeral, many of the grandchildren left Yankee things in the coffin with their grandfather. My passenger took a newspaper of the Red Sox winning the championship and tucked it under his grandfather's arm inside the coffin. But, it got even better! Three years later, The Red Sox won another championship and this guy went to the cemetery with a friend of his and brought his grandfather's favorite liquor. They toasted The Red Sox championship and he left another newspaper showing them winning the championship, on top of his grandfather's tombstone. I'm going to have start telling his story!
NOT SCOTT: I was scheduled to pick up Scott, but it was obvious immediately that it wasn't going to happen. A woman in her 40's came smiling out of the house towards my car. I said, "There's no way you're Scott." She said, "I am Scott. Why can't I be Scott?" "You are not Scott," I said again. She said, "Scott could be a very nice name for a girl." She wasn't Scott, but I told her I would call her, "not Scott." Our conversation turned pretty serious, since she was still upset by what happened at school with her thirteen year old son two days ago. He was going to get in trouble for using his cell phone, when suddenly he started crying. His mom said he's been going through some "puberty" things and was trying to avoid getting in trouble. The Vice-Principal got involved and asked her son if everything was okay at home and asked if anyone had a drinking problem. The boy told him that his Mom got "tipsy" sometimes. You can imagine how well that went over with "not Scott." Then, the Vice Principal called a woman who she carpools with and asked her if everything was okay in the family. "Not Scott" vented a lot and told me more about her marriage and family situation then I needed to know. She's a professional artist and she showed some of the things she's done and it was impressive. My advice to her was to vent all she wants before approaching the Vice-Principal or the Principal. It sounds like the Vice-Principal went a little too far in his concern for her son. I would have just laughed about it and then spoke to someone, but I think "not Scott" will need a little more venting before she deals with it.
HE BECAME A SOUTHERNER: Growing up in Spokane, Washington was very different than living in North Carolina now. Out west, people were very tough and individualistic and on their own a lot. They always felt that they were capable of making their own decisions. My rider told me it was a big adjustment moving to the South. He could not get over how friendly people were and that his in-laws were constantly trying to do things for him. He said, "I had to get used to how people talked to me." He explained the cultural differences and that people in the South show how much they care by paying a lot of attention to you. It's just not the same out west, but he does like it now. It's not that easy "becoming a southerner."
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
DOING STAND-UP
(The events below took place only in my mind and any similarity between real events are just a coincidence. Of course, my passenger was real and the conversation that took place on our ride was real too. It's just that everything else is made up, I think. For my readers over 90, keep this in mind-this may seem long to read, but conversation in person goes a lot faster)
Scene: The Myrtle Beach Comedy Club
When: Saturday night, February 1, 2020
(About 75 people are sitting in a small room talking to each other. As the clock strikes 8, the host walks up on stage)
Joe the host: Welcome everyone to the Myrtle Beach Comedy Club. We are ready to entertain you with four different acts. Since we've added one more act to our normal show, there's no time for me to make you laugh. Our first act is different. They have never performed stand-up comedy. They have never worked together. They have only met one time and for exactly nine minutes. They have not talked on the phone ever and they did not rehearse this performance. Matter of fact, they did not meet before this show and have not seen each other since November. They are not just appearing for the first time, but I've been assured that this is their farewell performance.
Help me welcome, Jeff and MM:
(They enter the room from different places and approach the stage. Jeff walks over to greet MM)
Jeff: Hi, I'm Jeff
MM: I know who you are, who is MM?
Jeff: You are, I gave you a stage name.
MM: That's the best you can do, mm(making the sound)?
Jeff: It's a tribute to you.
MM: Great, I feel better already, what does it mean?
Jeff: It stands for "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," the award winning comedy show about the hilarious stand-up comic. .
MM: I know who she is, but that's three M's, why do I have only two?
Jeff: I thought three would be a little much, calling you, MMM.(making a sound like you would make after eating something delicious like coffee ice cream) MM seems more normal.
MM: That's normal to you? We're in trouble or they are.(pointing to the audience) You do realize that she is not real and I am, right?
Jeff: You are real? Are you sure? I've never seen you with the lights on.
MM: I've never see you with the lights on. You look real, real old.
Jeff: I'll be 60 in August.
MM: 60? I thought you were in your 70's.
Jeff: Very nice of you to think that, you look real young-maybe 19?
MM: That's ridiculous, I am not 19 and you definitely need glasses.
Jeff: So, how did we get here?
MM: It's your fault, totally.
Jeff: I think you're to blame, we'll let the audience decide.
As Joe said, we really do not know each other and have only met one time. I don't even know her name, so I gave her one.
MM: You forgot my name, really?
Jeff: Your name wasn't important, but the things you said were very funny. We were together for nine minutes and I might add, there were other people with us.
MM: You were with me and three of my girlfriends.
Jeff: Yes, that is true, but here's our story:
(In a hushed voice:)It was a beautiful Saturday night in downtown Charleston, South Carolina. It was November 9th and it was 6:45 pm.
MM: That's very nice, but this isn't "The Muppet Christmas Carol."
Jeff: You recognized that I was mimicking the beginning of that movie?
MM:It's one of my favorite movies, we watch it every Christmas Eve.
Jeff: No way, it's one of my favorite movies and we watch it every Christmas Eve.
(Almost together they both say:) "I love the music".
Jeff: Are we related?
MM: Not that I know of.
Jeff: You don't have cousins up in the Kingston, NY area by the name of Schwartz?
MM: I don't think so, are you Jewish?
Jeff: I am, are you?
MM: Yes. I don't believe you-say a prayer.
Jeff: Baruch Atah Adonoi....
MM: Charleston?
Jeff: Yes, tell them what you did in Charleston and how we met.
MM:I was in Charleston with three of my friends and we were hanging out for a couple days. We had just had a couple drinks, having a good time, and we were going to eat. It was a mile away and we didn't want to walk-we were lazy, so we got an Uber and that's how this began.
Jeff: So it was your fault, right?
MM: I just wanted a ride, I wasn't planning on doing stand-up!
Jeff: I was the Uber driver and I was taking my last ride of the night and then meeting my wife for dinner. I was a little tired since I had been taking rides since 6 am., and I had no clue who I was picking up and I still don't know.
MM: I was looking at his profile and he almost had a perfect rating, close to 5.0 and I also saw that he said his favorite day of the week is Monday. How can that be?
Jeff: The rating or about Monday?
MM: Both
Jeff: Well, I really enjoy driving people and they are kind enough to rate me highly, but my rating was was only a 4.6 which isn't even the best in my house. My wife's rating is 4.8, she's prettier than I am. Monday is my favorite day, because it's the beginning of a new week and it's most people's least favorite day. My youngest daughter and I call Mondays, "Magnificent Mondays."
MM: That is ridiculous! Don't you all agree?(asking the audience and the audience applauds)
MM: I knew this was going to be an unusual ride when I saw his vehicle on the other side of the road and he drove right up on the sidewalk.
Jeff: It was dark and it was a busy street and I did not go over a curb. I just drove up an incline so I was in a safe spot for them to get in. As she's crossing the street, leading her posse...
MM: A posse? They were friends.
Jeff: She was leading the march, definitely the leader of the group. She's in the middle of a busy street, in the dark, loudly talking about my great rating. I had gotten out of the car to make sure they got in my car safely away from the traffic and I just started laughing. I opened the door and said something about the service she was getting. I knew this was going to be a great last ride for the night. I never thought I'd end up on a stage.
Jeff: As I pulled away she said something like, "it's only a mile away, is that okay?" Knowing her all of 30 seconds I said, "you're all already in the car, I'm kind of stuck with you." I really don't talk like that to riders I just met, it usually takes me a few minutes to tell if I can kid around with them.
MM: I didn't like what he said, so I told him something like, "if you don't want us, I'll have to give you a 1 rating,." It's the lowest rating.
Jeff: I was still laughing and said, "she's threatening me, can you believe it, she's threatening me. You do know that I rate the passengers too, right?" Then I asked her, who ordered the ride? It was the person whose name was on my app, whatever it was. She said it was one of the girls in the back, but she lied.
MM: I wasn't going to tell him it was me, but one of my posse spilled the beans.
Jeff: She said something else that was funny-I was having difficulty concentrating on driving, I was just trying to keep pace with her and it was almost impossible.
MM: He was laughing and trying to drive, it was funny watching him laugh at everything I said.
Jeff: I said to her, "Have you ever done stand-up?" Her response was priceless- she said, "No, should I? Maybe we should do it together later tonight?"
MM: I thought he might enjoy that.
Jeff: If she was the driver and I said that, she probably would have slapped me in the face.
MM: Yes, I would have and I would have enjoyed doing it too.
Jeff: That's when I realized I have to talk more, because I had no idea what she was going to say. If I was in an easy place to drive and she was the only one in the car, I would have pulled over for a minute, just to stop laughing.
MM: So, if we were alone you would have pulled over, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
Jeff: It would have helped my driving. I said something like, "it's a good thing this isn't a longer ride, it would be difficult to drive any distance with you."
MM: I guess that was a compliment, but I was having fun.
Jeff: I told her that I write a blog for my family and a few friends in New Jersey and I would have to write about her.
MM: I definitely wanted to read that so he gave me his card, which he probably gives out to a lot of women. He said I should send him my e-mail address and he would send me the story when he writes it.
Jeff: The business card has a picture of my wife on it and I don't give it out to a lot of women. I told her one of my funny rider stories that I knew she would like, but her response was totally unexpected. One of my passengers gave me a nickname, Jeff-Ro, No-Fro, which everyone laughs at. The ride was almost over and suddenly she started almost shouting, "I have to show you something, I have to show you something."
MM: His story was funny, but I couldn't believe what he said, because of my past.
Jeff: It is never a good idea for a woman to start shouting those words at a man who is driving a car.
MM: What did you think I was going to show you? You didn't think I was going to "flash" you, did you?
Jeff: No, definitely not. Never entered my mind, no.
MM: That's a lot of denials for an easy question.
Jeff: It is, but it's still no.
MM: He had to see what I wanted to show him.
Jeff: It was about that time I missed a turn down a small side road and the ride was extended another minute or two. I pulled over to drop them off and she shows me a picture on her phone and she was wearing an afro.
MM: I wasn't wearing it, my hair was in an afro in second grade. My uncle cut my hair-it was awful.
Jeff: It was dark, I was in a hurry, I thought it was possible it was a recent picture. Finally, she got out of the car with her posse and I had a good laugh. I realized that she was no-fro now too, really bizarre. I couldn't wait to tell my wife about my last ride. I also gave her a good rating and if I could have, I would have given her 10 stars.(5 is the highest rating)
MM: My posse enjoyed the show we put on and we had a great time the rest of the night.
Jeff: Just when I though it could not get any odder, the next night I was sitting in our living room with my wife and I got a text from you know you.
MM: They really don't know, they don't know my name either.
Jeff: Ok, what's your real name?
MM: I think it's a little late for that, why do you need to know?
Jeff: Isn't about time I knew? It's not like I'm going to write a song about you.
MM: You don't write songs too, do you?
Jeff: Yes, I've written a few, over 300. But, I'm not writing a song about you.
MM: Are you sure? You're starting to sound like a stalker. But, if you did write a song about me, what would you call it?
Jeff: Well, I could call it: "A Woman With No Name, " or I could call it, "Once, Twice, But Three Times You Won't See Me," or maybe "This One's Not For You."
MM: You didn't just come up with that. You've been thinking about song titles about a song you're not going to write?
Jeff: The thought did occur to me, but I'm definitely not writing a song about you, I don't even know who you are!
MM: I sent him a text the next night after I gave him a 5 rating on the app, a tip, and I wrote some comments.
Jeff: When I read the comments, I started laughing again. This is exactly what she said, " 'WOW, WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH JEFFREY. WE HAD A MAGICAL EVENING RIDE, THOUGH IT WAS ONLY A MILE DRIVE. WE REALLY BONDED. JEFFREY AND I ARE GOING TO BE PERFORMING A NIGHTLY STAND-UP ROUTINE ONCE HE AND MONIKA SETTLE DOWN IN CHARLESTON. I WILL BE DEBUTING ON THE BLOG NEXT WEEK AND THINGS ARE ON THE UP AND UP."
MM: I thought the comments were pretty normal, that's what I write about all my Uber drivers.
Jeff: Sure you do! "A magical evening ride?" I was not Aladin showing Jasmine the city on my flying carpet. I hate texting, but for the next ten minutes I was texting back and forth to you know who. My wife said this was really weird and I said it was, "but, that's what makes it so much fun."
MM: I sent him a recent picture of me at a wig party, with sort of an afro wig.
Jeff: I didn't even know what she looked like, but I could see the resemblance from the second grade picture. I sent her a link to my blog and figured that was the end of the story, but it wasn't. I was thinking about how funny it would be if an Uber driver and a passenger who didn't know each other, really did a stand-up routine. What if I wrote a comedy sketch about the two of us meeting? Do I ask her if she wants to give me lines she would say, or would I appear to be a stalker if I contacted her again? I decided to write the comedy sketch and somehow try to be as funny as she would be. Then, I would make sure she saw it with my story about her at the end of the month.
MM: My posse was giving me a hard time about this old man hitting on me, but I knew he really wasn't. It was just very unusual to connect so easily and immediately with someone so much older than I was.
Jeff: Yes, our age difference has to be about 50 years, right?
MM: I was 8 in the first picture you saw, so maybe 60 years?
Jeff: I wrote the comedy sketch just before Thanksgiving and then I wrote my end of the month stories on my favorite rides of the month. I did text her to let her know and if she couldn't get them on my blog I would send them to her for her to enjoy.
MM: I was surprised when I read the sketch and parts of it were very funny, but we were a lot funnier in person. I texted him back and said I enjoyed it and thank you, but I said, "maybe we really should do stand-up once."
Jeff: It's her fault we're here. I came up with the idea that I would ask a comedy club if we could raise money for a local charity and if they would give us a chance to perform one night. I did ask my wife first, under the circumstances. I promoted it on our Uber Facebook page and I told a lot of drivers. A number of them are here, right? (some applause in the audience) Those of you in the audience who need a ride home, will definitely not have a problem tonight.
MM: I thought it would be fun, but I didn't think he would be able to do it. And then he texts me and asks what weekend I would be available in February. I started laughing at the idea we were going to do this, it seemed ridiculous. How was I going to explain this to my posse? I'm going to fly to Myrtle Beach to do stand-up with my Uber driver? How could I explain it to my family?
Jeff: When she said she wanted to come down and could be here Saturday, February 1, I knew I couldn't back out. How was I going to explain this to anyone? Who would believe this? We are filming this so we have proof and I'm sure we will get a few laughs after tonight.
MM: I may have to watch it again, so I believe we really did this.
Jeff: We have a few minutes left and we can take two questions from the audience.
Question from a woman: You were very funny together, why do you say it's your farewell performance?
MM: Long distance relationships and business relationships, are very hard to work out. I have a full-time job and he's married for a long time and works too. It just wouldn't work out for the two of us to travel the country bantering back and forth at bars and comedy places.
Jeff: MM is right, it wouldn't work. Why would I want to be away from my beautiful wife of 36 years and miss this great weather in Myrtle Beach? I barely survived my first 9 minutes with her, how could I stop laughing if I was around her a lot? She got her fantasy to do stand-up with an old man.
MM: Yes, since I was 9, I wanted to do a stand-up routine with someone old enough to be my grandfather, isn't that every little girl's dream?
Question from a man: So, the two of you don't have a thing?
Jeff: Of course we do, this is it. You could say this is our one night stand....up!
MM: You saved that for last, didn't you? All night he's been throwing out these great lines trying to top me.
Jeff: And still, it probably didn't work. You're just naturally funny and I'm not. You've been a great audience, thank you comedy club and thank you MM. We'll hang around after the show if anyone wants to say hello. Why don't you say good night Gracie?
MM: Who is Gracie?
Jeff: Who is on first.
MM: She is?
Jeff and MM: Good night.
Scene: The Myrtle Beach Comedy Club
When: Saturday night, February 1, 2020
(About 75 people are sitting in a small room talking to each other. As the clock strikes 8, the host walks up on stage)
Joe the host: Welcome everyone to the Myrtle Beach Comedy Club. We are ready to entertain you with four different acts. Since we've added one more act to our normal show, there's no time for me to make you laugh. Our first act is different. They have never performed stand-up comedy. They have never worked together. They have only met one time and for exactly nine minutes. They have not talked on the phone ever and they did not rehearse this performance. Matter of fact, they did not meet before this show and have not seen each other since November. They are not just appearing for the first time, but I've been assured that this is their farewell performance.
Help me welcome, Jeff and MM:
(They enter the room from different places and approach the stage. Jeff walks over to greet MM)
Jeff: Hi, I'm Jeff
MM: I know who you are, who is MM?
Jeff: You are, I gave you a stage name.
MM: That's the best you can do, mm(making the sound)?
Jeff: It's a tribute to you.
MM: Great, I feel better already, what does it mean?
Jeff: It stands for "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," the award winning comedy show about the hilarious stand-up comic. .
MM: I know who she is, but that's three M's, why do I have only two?
Jeff: I thought three would be a little much, calling you, MMM.(making a sound like you would make after eating something delicious like coffee ice cream) MM seems more normal.
MM: That's normal to you? We're in trouble or they are.(pointing to the audience) You do realize that she is not real and I am, right?
Jeff: You are real? Are you sure? I've never seen you with the lights on.
MM: I've never see you with the lights on. You look real, real old.
Jeff: I'll be 60 in August.
MM: 60? I thought you were in your 70's.
Jeff: Very nice of you to think that, you look real young-maybe 19?
MM: That's ridiculous, I am not 19 and you definitely need glasses.
Jeff: So, how did we get here?
MM: It's your fault, totally.
Jeff: I think you're to blame, we'll let the audience decide.
As Joe said, we really do not know each other and have only met one time. I don't even know her name, so I gave her one.
MM: You forgot my name, really?
Jeff: Your name wasn't important, but the things you said were very funny. We were together for nine minutes and I might add, there were other people with us.
MM: You were with me and three of my girlfriends.
Jeff: Yes, that is true, but here's our story:
(In a hushed voice:)It was a beautiful Saturday night in downtown Charleston, South Carolina. It was November 9th and it was 6:45 pm.
MM: That's very nice, but this isn't "The Muppet Christmas Carol."
Jeff: You recognized that I was mimicking the beginning of that movie?
MM:It's one of my favorite movies, we watch it every Christmas Eve.
Jeff: No way, it's one of my favorite movies and we watch it every Christmas Eve.
(Almost together they both say:) "I love the music".
Jeff: Are we related?
MM: Not that I know of.
Jeff: You don't have cousins up in the Kingston, NY area by the name of Schwartz?
MM: I don't think so, are you Jewish?
Jeff: I am, are you?
MM: Yes. I don't believe you-say a prayer.
Jeff: Baruch Atah Adonoi....
MM: Charleston?
Jeff: Yes, tell them what you did in Charleston and how we met.
MM:I was in Charleston with three of my friends and we were hanging out for a couple days. We had just had a couple drinks, having a good time, and we were going to eat. It was a mile away and we didn't want to walk-we were lazy, so we got an Uber and that's how this began.
Jeff: So it was your fault, right?
MM: I just wanted a ride, I wasn't planning on doing stand-up!
Jeff: I was the Uber driver and I was taking my last ride of the night and then meeting my wife for dinner. I was a little tired since I had been taking rides since 6 am., and I had no clue who I was picking up and I still don't know.
MM: I was looking at his profile and he almost had a perfect rating, close to 5.0 and I also saw that he said his favorite day of the week is Monday. How can that be?
Jeff: The rating or about Monday?
MM: Both
Jeff: Well, I really enjoy driving people and they are kind enough to rate me highly, but my rating was was only a 4.6 which isn't even the best in my house. My wife's rating is 4.8, she's prettier than I am. Monday is my favorite day, because it's the beginning of a new week and it's most people's least favorite day. My youngest daughter and I call Mondays, "Magnificent Mondays."
MM: That is ridiculous! Don't you all agree?(asking the audience and the audience applauds)
MM: I knew this was going to be an unusual ride when I saw his vehicle on the other side of the road and he drove right up on the sidewalk.
Jeff: It was dark and it was a busy street and I did not go over a curb. I just drove up an incline so I was in a safe spot for them to get in. As she's crossing the street, leading her posse...
MM: A posse? They were friends.
Jeff: She was leading the march, definitely the leader of the group. She's in the middle of a busy street, in the dark, loudly talking about my great rating. I had gotten out of the car to make sure they got in my car safely away from the traffic and I just started laughing. I opened the door and said something about the service she was getting. I knew this was going to be a great last ride for the night. I never thought I'd end up on a stage.
Jeff: As I pulled away she said something like, "it's only a mile away, is that okay?" Knowing her all of 30 seconds I said, "you're all already in the car, I'm kind of stuck with you." I really don't talk like that to riders I just met, it usually takes me a few minutes to tell if I can kid around with them.
MM: I didn't like what he said, so I told him something like, "if you don't want us, I'll have to give you a 1 rating,." It's the lowest rating.
Jeff: I was still laughing and said, "she's threatening me, can you believe it, she's threatening me. You do know that I rate the passengers too, right?" Then I asked her, who ordered the ride? It was the person whose name was on my app, whatever it was. She said it was one of the girls in the back, but she lied.
MM: I wasn't going to tell him it was me, but one of my posse spilled the beans.
Jeff: She said something else that was funny-I was having difficulty concentrating on driving, I was just trying to keep pace with her and it was almost impossible.
MM: He was laughing and trying to drive, it was funny watching him laugh at everything I said.
Jeff: I said to her, "Have you ever done stand-up?" Her response was priceless- she said, "No, should I? Maybe we should do it together later tonight?"
MM: I thought he might enjoy that.
Jeff: If she was the driver and I said that, she probably would have slapped me in the face.
MM: Yes, I would have and I would have enjoyed doing it too.
Jeff: That's when I realized I have to talk more, because I had no idea what she was going to say. If I was in an easy place to drive and she was the only one in the car, I would have pulled over for a minute, just to stop laughing.
MM: So, if we were alone you would have pulled over, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
Jeff: It would have helped my driving. I said something like, "it's a good thing this isn't a longer ride, it would be difficult to drive any distance with you."
MM: I guess that was a compliment, but I was having fun.
Jeff: I told her that I write a blog for my family and a few friends in New Jersey and I would have to write about her.
MM: I definitely wanted to read that so he gave me his card, which he probably gives out to a lot of women. He said I should send him my e-mail address and he would send me the story when he writes it.
Jeff: The business card has a picture of my wife on it and I don't give it out to a lot of women. I told her one of my funny rider stories that I knew she would like, but her response was totally unexpected. One of my passengers gave me a nickname, Jeff-Ro, No-Fro, which everyone laughs at. The ride was almost over and suddenly she started almost shouting, "I have to show you something, I have to show you something."
MM: His story was funny, but I couldn't believe what he said, because of my past.
Jeff: It is never a good idea for a woman to start shouting those words at a man who is driving a car.
MM: What did you think I was going to show you? You didn't think I was going to "flash" you, did you?
Jeff: No, definitely not. Never entered my mind, no.
MM: That's a lot of denials for an easy question.
Jeff: It is, but it's still no.
MM: He had to see what I wanted to show him.
Jeff: It was about that time I missed a turn down a small side road and the ride was extended another minute or two. I pulled over to drop them off and she shows me a picture on her phone and she was wearing an afro.
MM: I wasn't wearing it, my hair was in an afro in second grade. My uncle cut my hair-it was awful.
Jeff: It was dark, I was in a hurry, I thought it was possible it was a recent picture. Finally, she got out of the car with her posse and I had a good laugh. I realized that she was no-fro now too, really bizarre. I couldn't wait to tell my wife about my last ride. I also gave her a good rating and if I could have, I would have given her 10 stars.(5 is the highest rating)
MM: My posse enjoyed the show we put on and we had a great time the rest of the night.
Jeff: Just when I though it could not get any odder, the next night I was sitting in our living room with my wife and I got a text from you know you.
MM: They really don't know, they don't know my name either.
Jeff: Ok, what's your real name?
MM: I think it's a little late for that, why do you need to know?
Jeff: Isn't about time I knew? It's not like I'm going to write a song about you.
MM: You don't write songs too, do you?
Jeff: Yes, I've written a few, over 300. But, I'm not writing a song about you.
MM: Are you sure? You're starting to sound like a stalker. But, if you did write a song about me, what would you call it?
Jeff: Well, I could call it: "A Woman With No Name, " or I could call it, "Once, Twice, But Three Times You Won't See Me," or maybe "This One's Not For You."
MM: You didn't just come up with that. You've been thinking about song titles about a song you're not going to write?
Jeff: The thought did occur to me, but I'm definitely not writing a song about you, I don't even know who you are!
MM: I sent him a text the next night after I gave him a 5 rating on the app, a tip, and I wrote some comments.
Jeff: When I read the comments, I started laughing again. This is exactly what she said, " 'WOW, WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH JEFFREY. WE HAD A MAGICAL EVENING RIDE, THOUGH IT WAS ONLY A MILE DRIVE. WE REALLY BONDED. JEFFREY AND I ARE GOING TO BE PERFORMING A NIGHTLY STAND-UP ROUTINE ONCE HE AND MONIKA SETTLE DOWN IN CHARLESTON. I WILL BE DEBUTING ON THE BLOG NEXT WEEK AND THINGS ARE ON THE UP AND UP."
MM: I thought the comments were pretty normal, that's what I write about all my Uber drivers.
Jeff: Sure you do! "A magical evening ride?" I was not Aladin showing Jasmine the city on my flying carpet. I hate texting, but for the next ten minutes I was texting back and forth to you know who. My wife said this was really weird and I said it was, "but, that's what makes it so much fun."
MM: I sent him a recent picture of me at a wig party, with sort of an afro wig.
Jeff: I didn't even know what she looked like, but I could see the resemblance from the second grade picture. I sent her a link to my blog and figured that was the end of the story, but it wasn't. I was thinking about how funny it would be if an Uber driver and a passenger who didn't know each other, really did a stand-up routine. What if I wrote a comedy sketch about the two of us meeting? Do I ask her if she wants to give me lines she would say, or would I appear to be a stalker if I contacted her again? I decided to write the comedy sketch and somehow try to be as funny as she would be. Then, I would make sure she saw it with my story about her at the end of the month.
MM: My posse was giving me a hard time about this old man hitting on me, but I knew he really wasn't. It was just very unusual to connect so easily and immediately with someone so much older than I was.
Jeff: Yes, our age difference has to be about 50 years, right?
MM: I was 8 in the first picture you saw, so maybe 60 years?
Jeff: I wrote the comedy sketch just before Thanksgiving and then I wrote my end of the month stories on my favorite rides of the month. I did text her to let her know and if she couldn't get them on my blog I would send them to her for her to enjoy.
MM: I was surprised when I read the sketch and parts of it were very funny, but we were a lot funnier in person. I texted him back and said I enjoyed it and thank you, but I said, "maybe we really should do stand-up once."
Jeff: It's her fault we're here. I came up with the idea that I would ask a comedy club if we could raise money for a local charity and if they would give us a chance to perform one night. I did ask my wife first, under the circumstances. I promoted it on our Uber Facebook page and I told a lot of drivers. A number of them are here, right? (some applause in the audience) Those of you in the audience who need a ride home, will definitely not have a problem tonight.
MM: I thought it would be fun, but I didn't think he would be able to do it. And then he texts me and asks what weekend I would be available in February. I started laughing at the idea we were going to do this, it seemed ridiculous. How was I going to explain this to my posse? I'm going to fly to Myrtle Beach to do stand-up with my Uber driver? How could I explain it to my family?
Jeff: When she said she wanted to come down and could be here Saturday, February 1, I knew I couldn't back out. How was I going to explain this to anyone? Who would believe this? We are filming this so we have proof and I'm sure we will get a few laughs after tonight.
MM: I may have to watch it again, so I believe we really did this.
Jeff: We have a few minutes left and we can take two questions from the audience.
Question from a woman: You were very funny together, why do you say it's your farewell performance?
MM: Long distance relationships and business relationships, are very hard to work out. I have a full-time job and he's married for a long time and works too. It just wouldn't work out for the two of us to travel the country bantering back and forth at bars and comedy places.
Jeff: MM is right, it wouldn't work. Why would I want to be away from my beautiful wife of 36 years and miss this great weather in Myrtle Beach? I barely survived my first 9 minutes with her, how could I stop laughing if I was around her a lot? She got her fantasy to do stand-up with an old man.
MM: Yes, since I was 9, I wanted to do a stand-up routine with someone old enough to be my grandfather, isn't that every little girl's dream?
Question from a man: So, the two of you don't have a thing?
Jeff: Of course we do, this is it. You could say this is our one night stand....up!
MM: You saved that for last, didn't you? All night he's been throwing out these great lines trying to top me.
Jeff: And still, it probably didn't work. You're just naturally funny and I'm not. You've been a great audience, thank you comedy club and thank you MM. We'll hang around after the show if anyone wants to say hello. Why don't you say good night Gracie?
MM: Who is Gracie?
Jeff: Who is on first.
MM: She is?
Jeff and MM: Good night.
Thursday, November 21, 2019
Courier Road Tales
It almost doesn't seem fair that most of my good stories come from driving for Uber/Lyft compared to driving as a courier. I spend about ten hours more a week delivering as a courier and I make about 50-60 deliveries more than I give Uber/Lyft rides each week. However, there are some funny courier moments and these are a few I've accumulated over the last few months.
Today, I was in the warehouse working when the warehouse worker made me burst out laughing. Our supervisor had just had surgery and cannot lift anything for three weeks and he's really struggling not handling any boxes. He keeps picking up small things and the warehouse guy and I have been kind of scolding him. So, I said to the worker, "we may have to tie him up.' His reply to me was, "you should do more work." Never in my life has anyone told me I should work more and he may have been have joking, but it didn't sound like that.
Sometimes the reception I get when I walk into a place with a delivery, surprises me. I've had women say to me, "you're my favorite person" or, "I love you." (it's a little much for a few boxes) Not too long ago a woman greeted me with, "you're my hero." I asked her if she could sing it for me like the song, but she didn't go for it and just laughed.
A week ago the weather here was fall-like for me. It was in the 50's and people were freezing. As I made a delivery, the woman said that she was so cold and I said, "I'm wearing shorts." Her reply was, "I can't even look at you wearing no pants." I started laughing and I drowned out the rest of her sentence and she started laughing when she realized what she said. She couldn't remember the rest of the sentence, but we did have a good laugh together.
It's going to be in the mid to high 60's tomorrow and my shorts are ready. With any luck I'll get to deliver to the same woman again. I just don't think I can walk in and announce, "I'm not wearing pants again."
Today, I was in the warehouse working when the warehouse worker made me burst out laughing. Our supervisor had just had surgery and cannot lift anything for three weeks and he's really struggling not handling any boxes. He keeps picking up small things and the warehouse guy and I have been kind of scolding him. So, I said to the worker, "we may have to tie him up.' His reply to me was, "you should do more work." Never in my life has anyone told me I should work more and he may have been have joking, but it didn't sound like that.
Sometimes the reception I get when I walk into a place with a delivery, surprises me. I've had women say to me, "you're my favorite person" or, "I love you." (it's a little much for a few boxes) Not too long ago a woman greeted me with, "you're my hero." I asked her if she could sing it for me like the song, but she didn't go for it and just laughed.
A week ago the weather here was fall-like for me. It was in the 50's and people were freezing. As I made a delivery, the woman said that she was so cold and I said, "I'm wearing shorts." Her reply was, "I can't even look at you wearing no pants." I started laughing and I drowned out the rest of her sentence and she started laughing when she realized what she said. She couldn't remember the rest of the sentence, but we did have a good laugh together.
It's going to be in the mid to high 60's tomorrow and my shorts are ready. With any luck I'll get to deliver to the same woman again. I just don't think I can walk in and announce, "I'm not wearing pants again."
Wednesday, November 20, 2019
"There's No Bad Weather, Just Bad Clothes"
You may have heard this Norwegian phrase before, but I heard it this morning on the radio. Norwegians are raised to learn how to dress well for outside due to the weather conditions they face. They are very big on wearing layers of clothing which I've been a believer in for years. If it gets cold up north this winter, make sure your head is covered and it will help keep your body warm. I would much rather wear 3-5 layers of clothing than a heavy coat, it just works better.
How do you get your body adjusted to the cold? Apparently our military has spent a lot of money trying to figure that out and prepare our cadets at West Point. It is cold up there in New York in the winter, but they make first year cadets take a cold shower each morning and that makes a big difference. Yes, they take a cold shower every day to get their body adjusted for the outside temperatures.
Down here in the South there are many people like ourselves who start getting adjusted to warmer temperatures. When it's fifty degrees there are not just native southerners who are cold, but people who have moved down here from colder climates. I expect at some point temperatures in the 40's and 50's will start bothering us, but we're not there yet.
So, if you want to start getting used to the cold, take cold showers. Or, maybe you'll feel warmer knowing that other people are taking cold showers and you have a hot shower coming in the near future. And, you don't have to worry about having good or bad clothes on, just take the hot shower.
Saturday, November 16, 2019
Doing Stand-Up Comedy, Sort Of
The idea of me doing stand-up comedy is something I have thought about over the years. I would like to do it one time. I used to do a lot of public speaking and although I really can't tell a joke to save my life, I know I can tell some funny stories. I also know that over the years I've had some funny things happen to me and other people have found some of them amusing.
I watched my friend Larry in New Jersey, (he was born funny) do a stand-up routine for a charitable event at his Temple and to no one's surprise, he was funny. I've been making a lot of Uber/Lyft riders laugh in my car with some original material and by telling them about my other riders.
Recently, a passenger in my car, suggested that the two of us do stand-up together, which is about as unlikely as the Jets winning The Super Bowl, the Knicks winning the championship and the Mets winning the Super Bowl, all in the same year. (It did happen in 1969, but that was 50 years ago)
However, since I do like to write and sometimes I do it well, what if I wrote about doing stand-up with this passenger? It's difficult enough I think to write something funny for you to say, but how about trying to write something funny for someone else to say and you really don't know her? If you, (not you Dad) went to a comedy show and two people got on stage who had never done stand-up and had only met once for nine minutes and one was the other's Uber driver, would it be funny watching them try to be funny?
I think it would be. I was going to ask my funny friend Larry, but I got a thumb's up unexpectedly from another source. My last ride on a Saturday night in Charleston, was the passenger who suggested we do stand-up and the next Saturday morning in Charleston, was actually a woman who was starting a career as a stand-up comic. I asked her and her sister if my idea would be funny and they laughed and said it would be. Her advice was, "if you think in your heart you should do something, you should do it."
If you want to blame someone for what I am about to do, you can blame me. Or, you could blame the passenger who made the suggestion, or the stand up comic I just mentioned. Even better, blame Senator Al Franken. I read his book recently which was great and it was about his career as a comedy writer and a US Senator. If you don't think it could get worse than me writing a comedy sketch, what if I was running for a political office???
I watched my friend Larry in New Jersey, (he was born funny) do a stand-up routine for a charitable event at his Temple and to no one's surprise, he was funny. I've been making a lot of Uber/Lyft riders laugh in my car with some original material and by telling them about my other riders.
Recently, a passenger in my car, suggested that the two of us do stand-up together, which is about as unlikely as the Jets winning The Super Bowl, the Knicks winning the championship and the Mets winning the Super Bowl, all in the same year. (It did happen in 1969, but that was 50 years ago)
However, since I do like to write and sometimes I do it well, what if I wrote about doing stand-up with this passenger? It's difficult enough I think to write something funny for you to say, but how about trying to write something funny for someone else to say and you really don't know her? If you, (not you Dad) went to a comedy show and two people got on stage who had never done stand-up and had only met once for nine minutes and one was the other's Uber driver, would it be funny watching them try to be funny?
I think it would be. I was going to ask my funny friend Larry, but I got a thumb's up unexpectedly from another source. My last ride on a Saturday night in Charleston, was the passenger who suggested we do stand-up and the next Saturday morning in Charleston, was actually a woman who was starting a career as a stand-up comic. I asked her and her sister if my idea would be funny and they laughed and said it would be. Her advice was, "if you think in your heart you should do something, you should do it."
If you want to blame someone for what I am about to do, you can blame me. Or, you could blame the passenger who made the suggestion, or the stand up comic I just mentioned. Even better, blame Senator Al Franken. I read his book recently which was great and it was about his career as a comedy writer and a US Senator. If you don't think it could get worse than me writing a comedy sketch, what if I was running for a political office???
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
What My Riders Say About Me
Earlier in the year I wrote about some of the comments my Uber riders have made on the app about me and the ride I've given them. Next month I will have reached 2,000 Uber rides, so I thought I would tell you about a few more comments I've had this year. Very few people actually take the time to make a comment, but some of them are really terrific. Here are a few:
"I FORGOT I WAS IN AN UBER, IT FELT LIKE A RIDE WITH A FRIEND."
If I had to just write about one comment, this would be the one. If I had to describe what my goal was when I pick someone up, this would explain it. Sure, I want to get them safely to where they are going, but for the most part, I treat them like a friend who I haven't met and there dozens, maybe a few hundred, I wish I could drive again."
"PERFECT UBER DRIVER AND PERFECT UBER VEHICLE."
As you know I am not perfect, but my van probably is. I have had countless people compliment and rave about my van and it really is ideal for driving Uber. Many people comment that they've never seen or been in a car like mine and I usually say, "that's why I'm here, just to show you the car."
"VERY FRIENDLY AND A GOOD DRIVER. OPENED AND CLOSED OUR DOORS FOR US LIKE A GENTLEMAN."
I try when I can to open and close doors for women especially and sometimes men too. My side doors can be a little difficult for some, so it makes sense to do it. Also, it gets me out of the van and I can stretch my legs."
'WOW, WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH JEFFREY. WE HAD A MAGICAL EVENING RIDE, THOUGH IT WAS ONLY A MILE DRIVE. WE REALLY BONDED. JEFFREY AND I ARE GOING TO BE PERFORMING A NIGHTLY STAND-UP ROUTINE ONCE HE AND MONIKA SETTLE DOWN IN CHARLESTON. I WILL BE DEBUTING ON THE BLOG NEXT WEEK AND THINGS ARE ON THE UP AND UP."
You can tell easily that this passenger enjoyed her ride in my car. If she didn't mention a couple specific details, I still would have known exactly who this was due to her outgoing personality and unique way of speaking. She is one of my favorite riders of the month and I'll be writing more details about our "magical" one mile trip at the end of the month.
"I FORGOT I WAS IN AN UBER, IT FELT LIKE A RIDE WITH A FRIEND."
If I had to just write about one comment, this would be the one. If I had to describe what my goal was when I pick someone up, this would explain it. Sure, I want to get them safely to where they are going, but for the most part, I treat them like a friend who I haven't met and there dozens, maybe a few hundred, I wish I could drive again."
"PERFECT UBER DRIVER AND PERFECT UBER VEHICLE."
As you know I am not perfect, but my van probably is. I have had countless people compliment and rave about my van and it really is ideal for driving Uber. Many people comment that they've never seen or been in a car like mine and I usually say, "that's why I'm here, just to show you the car."
"VERY FRIENDLY AND A GOOD DRIVER. OPENED AND CLOSED OUR DOORS FOR US LIKE A GENTLEMAN."
I try when I can to open and close doors for women especially and sometimes men too. My side doors can be a little difficult for some, so it makes sense to do it. Also, it gets me out of the van and I can stretch my legs."
'WOW, WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH JEFFREY. WE HAD A MAGICAL EVENING RIDE, THOUGH IT WAS ONLY A MILE DRIVE. WE REALLY BONDED. JEFFREY AND I ARE GOING TO BE PERFORMING A NIGHTLY STAND-UP ROUTINE ONCE HE AND MONIKA SETTLE DOWN IN CHARLESTON. I WILL BE DEBUTING ON THE BLOG NEXT WEEK AND THINGS ARE ON THE UP AND UP."
You can tell easily that this passenger enjoyed her ride in my car. If she didn't mention a couple specific details, I still would have known exactly who this was due to her outgoing personality and unique way of speaking. She is one of my favorite riders of the month and I'll be writing more details about our "magical" one mile trip at the end of the month.
Monday, November 11, 2019
Just A Reminder: It's Never Too Early For Christmas!
This morning at 5:15 am I walked outside towards my car. The temperature was a "freezing" 45 degrees, so I put on my winter hat. I felt ridiculous, because it wasn't really cold for me, but 45 degrees is very cold down here. I was wearing shorts and two light jackets also and I was in a really good mood. No surprise there, it was a Monday, my favorite day of the week.
It was totally unexpected what happened next. My wipers cleared the windows and I realized I might actually have some ice on them in a couple mornings. (don't miss that) I turned on the radio and there it was-a Christmas song! And, after that song, came another one and I realized that one of the local stations had changed their format for the holidays-Christmas music all the time!
Years ago, I had come home after work around Thanksgiving time and I had enjoyed listening to Christmas music on the radio. My youngest daughter said, "it's too early for Christmas," and I quickly replied, "It's never too early for Christmas.' That inspired me to write a song by that name.
I didn't listen to the station all day today, but I did enjoy hearing a number of songs. I know that some of you couldn't care less and some of you really do think it's too early for Christmas music, but I love hearing many of the songs. I enjoy hearing multiple singers singing the same song and hearing how they sing it differently.
If Christmas music in mid-November doesn't bring a smile to your face, how about this? When you're getting up in the morning with your cup of coffee tomorrow, or trying to get the little "sleepies" out of your eyes, I'm driving down the road in my van singing Christmas music!
Yes, I can see you smiling right now-it's never to early for Christmas!
It was totally unexpected what happened next. My wipers cleared the windows and I realized I might actually have some ice on them in a couple mornings. (don't miss that) I turned on the radio and there it was-a Christmas song! And, after that song, came another one and I realized that one of the local stations had changed their format for the holidays-Christmas music all the time!
Years ago, I had come home after work around Thanksgiving time and I had enjoyed listening to Christmas music on the radio. My youngest daughter said, "it's too early for Christmas," and I quickly replied, "It's never too early for Christmas.' That inspired me to write a song by that name.
I didn't listen to the station all day today, but I did enjoy hearing a number of songs. I know that some of you couldn't care less and some of you really do think it's too early for Christmas music, but I love hearing many of the songs. I enjoy hearing multiple singers singing the same song and hearing how they sing it differently.
If Christmas music in mid-November doesn't bring a smile to your face, how about this? When you're getting up in the morning with your cup of coffee tomorrow, or trying to get the little "sleepies" out of your eyes, I'm driving down the road in my van singing Christmas music!
Yes, I can see you smiling right now-it's never to early for Christmas!
Friday, November 8, 2019
The New Highway
To say that life is at a slower pace here in South Carolina, is really an understatement. I've joked with some southerners that it may take me ten years to get down to this pace, but I am working on it. How does the pace make a difference here? Simply, things get done much, much slower.
We have a great highway close by to our house that runs from North Myrtle Beach through Myrtle Beach. Route 31 is a great ride since there is never traffic; it's almost as if only half the people know it exists. I usually drive home on this highway instead of taking the main road, Rt. 17, which goes through the same area with lights all the down through Charleston, South Carolina.
The extension of Route 31 would go through Murrells Inlet(just past Myrtle Beach) and down to Pawley's Island near Georgetown? We're not even sure where the road ends up, but definitely south. It was scheduled to open in 2017, before we got here, it's been delayed a bit.
We recently heard it was going to be November, this year! It would definitely save us a few more minutes coming up home from the north, since it would cut off a stretch of another road with lights that we would no longer need to drive on. Then, we heard it was going to be this weekend!
Driving home last night, the closed highway with all the cones, was not on my mind. It's automatic: the road turns into one lane and then all the traffic exits onto Highway 544 towards Surfside and then there's a couple traffic lights and I get on 707 for the final stretch home.
I'm on Route 31 and I see the exit for 544 and I watch it as I go pass it and the road continues. Suddenly, the light bulb goes on and I realize that I'm on the new highway. And, there's my new exit! I get off the ramp and now everything looks familiar and I've saved 5-10 minutes on my journey home.
It's going to take awhile to get used to, not getting off on the highway I've always gotten off of. I also have to make sure I don't miss my turn. Just letting you know-there's a new road in the south, finally. It's about time.
We have a great highway close by to our house that runs from North Myrtle Beach through Myrtle Beach. Route 31 is a great ride since there is never traffic; it's almost as if only half the people know it exists. I usually drive home on this highway instead of taking the main road, Rt. 17, which goes through the same area with lights all the down through Charleston, South Carolina.
The extension of Route 31 would go through Murrells Inlet(just past Myrtle Beach) and down to Pawley's Island near Georgetown? We're not even sure where the road ends up, but definitely south. It was scheduled to open in 2017, before we got here, it's been delayed a bit.
We recently heard it was going to be November, this year! It would definitely save us a few more minutes coming up home from the north, since it would cut off a stretch of another road with lights that we would no longer need to drive on. Then, we heard it was going to be this weekend!
Driving home last night, the closed highway with all the cones, was not on my mind. It's automatic: the road turns into one lane and then all the traffic exits onto Highway 544 towards Surfside and then there's a couple traffic lights and I get on 707 for the final stretch home.
I'm on Route 31 and I see the exit for 544 and I watch it as I go pass it and the road continues. Suddenly, the light bulb goes on and I realize that I'm on the new highway. And, there's my new exit! I get off the ramp and now everything looks familiar and I've saved 5-10 minutes on my journey home.
It's going to take awhile to get used to, not getting off on the highway I've always gotten off of. I also have to make sure I don't miss my turn. Just letting you know-there's a new road in the south, finally. It's about time.
Friday, November 1, 2019
October Rider Stories
NIGHT TRAIN: His name was Night Train, really it was. I thought the most interesting thing about my rider was his first name, but I was wrong. His Dad named him Night Train after the Hall of Fame football player, Night Train Lane, who he had met. His mom let his Dad name him, but she said he has no say in anything else the rest of their lives. Night Train has worked in baseball his whole life. "My Dad broke all the labor laws, because I've been working since I was five and have done every job in a baseball stadium." He is currently interviewing with several teams for a job. Half way through the ride I found out his grandfather was Bill Veck, the Hall of Fame former owner of the Chicago White Sox. His grandfather created many of the baseball promotions that exist today in the major and minor leagues. He is famous for hiring a midget to lead off games, because they had to walk him because there was no strike zone. He also came up with Disco Demolition night where in the seventies fans brought their disco records and the plan was for them to be blown up in between a doubleheader. The stadium was sold out with 20,000 people outside the stadium and things got out of control and they had to forfeit the second game. I had a great time talking baseball with Night Train and how he manages to live with such an unusual name.
A SUNDAY MORNING EARLY RIDE: My first ride set the tone for a terrific day and I wish I could thank the two women I picked up who were in their twenties. They had been celebrating Bike Week and at 6:30 am they were ready to go to sleep. I asked them if they had been up all night or they were just getting up and one of them said, "what do you think?" and the other said, "do naps count?" They were friends, but they could have been sisters since they talked the same way. They were outspoken and funny and had me laughing almost the whole way. "We're just so wonderful," one told me as they jumped from one topic to another. I told them they were a great first ride and one replied, "we aim to make every ride the best ride." They were having a great time making me laugh. "I hate Mondays," she said very clearly and then explained how she really disliked the first day of the week. I couldn't resist and told them, "Monday's my favorite day of the week." Before I could explain, her reply was simple and clear-she said, "F_ _ _ you." I imagine that other people have wanted to tell me that when I told them about how I feel about Monday's, but her comment had me chuckling all day. It turned out to be two decent rides instead of one and they gave me a generous tip, but I think I should have tipped them since they really did make it a great ride.
NOT JUST A GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE: I had the pleasure of driving someone from Myrtle Beach to Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina, which was about 90 miles.(It's north of Charleston, South Carolina) He is in Human Resources for the federal government and works out of Charleston. He's responsible for hiring people all over the country, in person, by phone and by video conferencing. We talked about how they have special programs for veterans and for young people to get them into civil service positions and also how he handles hiring people who need to have security clearance. He said that millennials these days are frequently concerned more with how much time they off, job flexibility, and when they can work at home and less about the actual job. As much as I enjoyed talking about hiring people(really), he was a history buff with a fascinating history himself. His Mom worked as a secretary in the federal government and she was the first woman in South Carolina to volunteer after Pearl Harbor. She was told by supervisors three times not to ask to enlist in the war effort, but she ignored them. She eventually worked for the Navy's military intelligence interviewing captured Germans from submarines. Her drive and ability was recognized quickly and she became known as Eleanor Roosevelt's "right hand man." He showed me a couple of pictures of his Mom with Eleanor Roosevelt. He impressed me with his dedication to hire the best personnel and also at the same time his concern with saving money for the taxpayers. I hope to give him another ride in the future.
THE GROOM: I asked my passenger when he got in the car early in the morning, "do you have any big plans today?" "I'm getting married later, but I'm really worried about the weather." I was taking him to play golf, but I figured I could give him a little wedding gift. I told him that I would talk to the man upstairs and ask them to hold the rain off a few hours until they were at the reception around 5:30. I also said I would mention it to a few passengers during the day, so I wasn't the only one pushing the rain back. "If the rain holds off until 5:30 you'll remember this conversation and if it doesn't, don't worry, you'll never see me again." I told him that shortly after we cleaned up at my wedding reception in the back of my parent's house, it poured and caused some flooding in the streets. When I told him that I've been married for 36 years he asked me, "what's the secret to marriage?" I said, "I heard a long time ago that it wasn't finding the right person, but being the right person." I added that it was important to remember that people are different and they have different views based on their past experiences. And the rain? There were a lot clouds and a couple sprinkles, but the rain didn't come down until the evening, mission accomplished.
THE NEGATIVE RIDE: When my rider got out of my car I had two thoughts: I felt badly for him and he was so negative I felt like I should take a shower. He had lived here for five years and came here with his wife and Dad. His Dad passed away a couple years ago and his wife left him and he was very bitter. He complained about everything here and I did not try to cheer him up. I let him talk and he was very eager to talk. He did say he was moving out in May and that would be a really good thing for him. He may have been most upset that the wages are very low here, but South Carolina is like that. He summed up his thoughts up with this, "the people suck, the wages suck, the politicians suck and the weather sucks." I won't forget this ride, but I'd like to.
THE LONGEST RIDE: I pulled into the Charleston Airport to wait for a ride, and I certainly got one I would not forget. My rider was coming in from China and heading to Columbus, South Carolina, which was 107 miles away. It was an easy ride on the highway and it took one hour and 45 minutes. With a $15 tip I made over $100, the most I've made on any ride. The 27 year-old automation engineer, was very interesting to talk to. His Vietnamese parents came over here after a very difficult time in Vietnam. He had been out of college only three years and has done very well. We talked the entire time on many topics. He travels mostly in the U.S. for work and sees his job as making things automated and reducing human error. He's interested in retiring early and has been looking into a young movement called, "F.I.R.E." It stands for Financial Independence, Retire Early. The goal is to retire in your 30's or 40's. He has always run a few miles as a hobby, but decided to enter the Chicago Marathon last year. He did not train, but he finished it in over six hours. He's training now for a Charlotte Marathon of 31 miles this year. I learned a lot and had a great time too.
THE PLAYBOY BUNNY: How often can you pick up a Playboy bunny? It could be every year around Halloween, you never know. When the guy put her in my front seat, I was aware that she wasn't wearing much and I soon found out why. It was early on a Sunday morning and she had just woken up and really didn't know where she was. She told me she must have drank too much last night and she was a little down on herself for being put in the car by a guy she did not know well. She said she was at a Halloween Party the night before and that's all she remembered. I had to ask her what her costume was since I was driving and I certainly wasn't going to try to figure it out. She said, "I'm a Playboy Bunny, but I've lost my ears." She didn't seem drunk, but she was still a little disoriented. She's a beautician and she was fixing her hair a little and with the window open one of her blonde hairs literally flew across the front seat and hit me in the mouth. I removed it from my mouth and asked, "do you want this back?" I did cheer her up some with a few stories and made her laugh and by the time she got home I think she felt a little better than when she got in my car.
THE CUSTOMER SERVICE TRAINER: I picked up a rider from the Marriott Hotel who had just given a twenty minute presentation to about a hundred sheriffs. He was speaking to a much larger group this week and has co-written several books. He encouraged the sheriffs to do better handling the public. "Officers always need to keep in mind that the cameras are on, but it's really an advantage for them." He explained that they should constantly be promoting all the good stories that they are involved with and that they just are not doing enough in this area. It was a pretty short ride unfortunately, so I wasn't able to get a lot out of him, but it was very interesting.
A SUNDAY MORNING EARLY RIDE: My first ride set the tone for a terrific day and I wish I could thank the two women I picked up who were in their twenties. They had been celebrating Bike Week and at 6:30 am they were ready to go to sleep. I asked them if they had been up all night or they were just getting up and one of them said, "what do you think?" and the other said, "do naps count?" They were friends, but they could have been sisters since they talked the same way. They were outspoken and funny and had me laughing almost the whole way. "We're just so wonderful," one told me as they jumped from one topic to another. I told them they were a great first ride and one replied, "we aim to make every ride the best ride." They were having a great time making me laugh. "I hate Mondays," she said very clearly and then explained how she really disliked the first day of the week. I couldn't resist and told them, "Monday's my favorite day of the week." Before I could explain, her reply was simple and clear-she said, "F_ _ _ you." I imagine that other people have wanted to tell me that when I told them about how I feel about Monday's, but her comment had me chuckling all day. It turned out to be two decent rides instead of one and they gave me a generous tip, but I think I should have tipped them since they really did make it a great ride.
NOT JUST A GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE: I had the pleasure of driving someone from Myrtle Beach to Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina, which was about 90 miles.(It's north of Charleston, South Carolina) He is in Human Resources for the federal government and works out of Charleston. He's responsible for hiring people all over the country, in person, by phone and by video conferencing. We talked about how they have special programs for veterans and for young people to get them into civil service positions and also how he handles hiring people who need to have security clearance. He said that millennials these days are frequently concerned more with how much time they off, job flexibility, and when they can work at home and less about the actual job. As much as I enjoyed talking about hiring people(really), he was a history buff with a fascinating history himself. His Mom worked as a secretary in the federal government and she was the first woman in South Carolina to volunteer after Pearl Harbor. She was told by supervisors three times not to ask to enlist in the war effort, but she ignored them. She eventually worked for the Navy's military intelligence interviewing captured Germans from submarines. Her drive and ability was recognized quickly and she became known as Eleanor Roosevelt's "right hand man." He showed me a couple of pictures of his Mom with Eleanor Roosevelt. He impressed me with his dedication to hire the best personnel and also at the same time his concern with saving money for the taxpayers. I hope to give him another ride in the future.
THE GROOM: I asked my passenger when he got in the car early in the morning, "do you have any big plans today?" "I'm getting married later, but I'm really worried about the weather." I was taking him to play golf, but I figured I could give him a little wedding gift. I told him that I would talk to the man upstairs and ask them to hold the rain off a few hours until they were at the reception around 5:30. I also said I would mention it to a few passengers during the day, so I wasn't the only one pushing the rain back. "If the rain holds off until 5:30 you'll remember this conversation and if it doesn't, don't worry, you'll never see me again." I told him that shortly after we cleaned up at my wedding reception in the back of my parent's house, it poured and caused some flooding in the streets. When I told him that I've been married for 36 years he asked me, "what's the secret to marriage?" I said, "I heard a long time ago that it wasn't finding the right person, but being the right person." I added that it was important to remember that people are different and they have different views based on their past experiences. And the rain? There were a lot clouds and a couple sprinkles, but the rain didn't come down until the evening, mission accomplished.
THE NEGATIVE RIDE: When my rider got out of my car I had two thoughts: I felt badly for him and he was so negative I felt like I should take a shower. He had lived here for five years and came here with his wife and Dad. His Dad passed away a couple years ago and his wife left him and he was very bitter. He complained about everything here and I did not try to cheer him up. I let him talk and he was very eager to talk. He did say he was moving out in May and that would be a really good thing for him. He may have been most upset that the wages are very low here, but South Carolina is like that. He summed up his thoughts up with this, "the people suck, the wages suck, the politicians suck and the weather sucks." I won't forget this ride, but I'd like to.
THE LONGEST RIDE: I pulled into the Charleston Airport to wait for a ride, and I certainly got one I would not forget. My rider was coming in from China and heading to Columbus, South Carolina, which was 107 miles away. It was an easy ride on the highway and it took one hour and 45 minutes. With a $15 tip I made over $100, the most I've made on any ride. The 27 year-old automation engineer, was very interesting to talk to. His Vietnamese parents came over here after a very difficult time in Vietnam. He had been out of college only three years and has done very well. We talked the entire time on many topics. He travels mostly in the U.S. for work and sees his job as making things automated and reducing human error. He's interested in retiring early and has been looking into a young movement called, "F.I.R.E." It stands for Financial Independence, Retire Early. The goal is to retire in your 30's or 40's. He has always run a few miles as a hobby, but decided to enter the Chicago Marathon last year. He did not train, but he finished it in over six hours. He's training now for a Charlotte Marathon of 31 miles this year. I learned a lot and had a great time too.
THE PLAYBOY BUNNY: How often can you pick up a Playboy bunny? It could be every year around Halloween, you never know. When the guy put her in my front seat, I was aware that she wasn't wearing much and I soon found out why. It was early on a Sunday morning and she had just woken up and really didn't know where she was. She told me she must have drank too much last night and she was a little down on herself for being put in the car by a guy she did not know well. She said she was at a Halloween Party the night before and that's all she remembered. I had to ask her what her costume was since I was driving and I certainly wasn't going to try to figure it out. She said, "I'm a Playboy Bunny, but I've lost my ears." She didn't seem drunk, but she was still a little disoriented. She's a beautician and she was fixing her hair a little and with the window open one of her blonde hairs literally flew across the front seat and hit me in the mouth. I removed it from my mouth and asked, "do you want this back?" I did cheer her up some with a few stories and made her laugh and by the time she got home I think she felt a little better than when she got in my car.
THE CUSTOMER SERVICE TRAINER: I picked up a rider from the Marriott Hotel who had just given a twenty minute presentation to about a hundred sheriffs. He was speaking to a much larger group this week and has co-written several books. He encouraged the sheriffs to do better handling the public. "Officers always need to keep in mind that the cameras are on, but it's really an advantage for them." He explained that they should constantly be promoting all the good stories that they are involved with and that they just are not doing enough in this area. It was a pretty short ride unfortunately, so I wasn't able to get a lot out of him, but it was very interesting.
Thursday, October 31, 2019
October Rider Quotes
"It's hard to remember who you are when you're a gypsy."
"My brothers have pretty unique names-Ford, Coleman, Alister and Roswell."
"Are you due for a colonoscopy?"
"I don't like buffets, because people's arm hair can get in the food."
"The doctor said my brain was scrambled in the accident."
"The military has a way of making fun things, not fun."
"You won't wear any sunglasses, but you prefer the arm in front of your face?"(yes I do)
"Did they make pot legal in New York yet?"
"On our European vacation, the four of us drank 67 bottles of wine in ten days, we counted them."
"You should never move to a tourist town."
Green Bay Packer Fan who wasn't drinking: "Can I puke in your New York Giant hat and pretend I don't know what happened?"
"I like New Jersey, it's very much like Myrtle Beach."(really?)
"I hate Monday's. I remember the smell of Monday from my childhood."
"We got on the golf course early and were almost done by the time it rained. I talked to God about it before we got here. We made a Trump deal."
"I don't like going on a cruise, it's like going to Golden Corral with a bar."
"You changed my mind about Giant fans."
"Thanks for getting me to work on time. I'm just glad you weren't an 85 year-old man taking his time.
"Names don't faze me anymore. When I worked in a prison there was an inmate whose real name was, "Stay At Home."
"I'm the only one at work who's doing what they're are supposed to do."
"I've perfected putting on lipstick in the car."
"You ask a lot of questions." Me: I'm sorry, I won't ask anymore. Would you like to ask me any? "No, I'm good."($5 tip)
"You're my favorite Lyft driver"($10 tip)
"Tell your wife she has a lovely husband"
"My brothers have pretty unique names-Ford, Coleman, Alister and Roswell."
"Are you due for a colonoscopy?"
"I don't like buffets, because people's arm hair can get in the food."
"The doctor said my brain was scrambled in the accident."
"The military has a way of making fun things, not fun."
"You won't wear any sunglasses, but you prefer the arm in front of your face?"(yes I do)
"Did they make pot legal in New York yet?"
"On our European vacation, the four of us drank 67 bottles of wine in ten days, we counted them."
"You should never move to a tourist town."
Green Bay Packer Fan who wasn't drinking: "Can I puke in your New York Giant hat and pretend I don't know what happened?"
"I like New Jersey, it's very much like Myrtle Beach."(really?)
"I hate Monday's. I remember the smell of Monday from my childhood."
"We got on the golf course early and were almost done by the time it rained. I talked to God about it before we got here. We made a Trump deal."
"I don't like going on a cruise, it's like going to Golden Corral with a bar."
"You changed my mind about Giant fans."
"Thanks for getting me to work on time. I'm just glad you weren't an 85 year-old man taking his time.
"Names don't faze me anymore. When I worked in a prison there was an inmate whose real name was, "Stay At Home."
"I'm the only one at work who's doing what they're are supposed to do."
"I've perfected putting on lipstick in the car."
"You ask a lot of questions." Me: I'm sorry, I won't ask anymore. Would you like to ask me any? "No, I'm good."($5 tip)
"You're my favorite Lyft driver"($10 tip)
"Tell your wife she has a lovely husband"
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
"Kind" Ellen DeGeneres Hits a Home Run
Every once in a while someone in Hollywood says something and they really deserve an award or a standing ovation. In case you missed this story earlier in the month, it is worth repeating. Comedian and television talk show host, Ellen DeGeneres, was with her wife at a Dallas Cowboy football game and she was sitting in the owner's box.(Jerry Jones) Sitting with them all was former President George W. Bush and his wife Laura.
Several times the cameras showed Ellen and the former President laughing together and some people got upset about it. Since Ellen is a liberal and George W. Bush is a conservative, there were a number of people who were angry about it. One of the celebrities who scolded Ellen was actor, Mark Ruffalo, best known for playing The Hulk. This is what he said:
"Sorry, until George W. Bush is brought to justice for the crimes of the Iraq War, (including American-lead torture, Iraqi deaths & displacement, and the deep scars—emotional & otherwise—inflicted on our military that served his folly), we can’t even begin to talk about kindness."
In response to some of the negative feedback she got, Ellen's reply was this:
"Here’s the thing. I’m friends with George Bush,” who has appeared on her talk show. “In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different, and I think we’ve forgotten that that’s OK that we’re all different.” “But just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be friends with them. When I say, ‘Be kind to one another,’ I don’t only mean the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone. Doesn’t matter [who].”
She could not have said it any better. She did have some people who supported her, but comments like Mark Ruffalo's unfortunately show how out of touch some people in Hollywood are. When a Conservative hears comments like those, they immediately think that's how most people in Hollywood and liberals think. These are the comments that make the news and turn a lot of people off.
Ellen's comments did make the news, but when someone criticizes and condemns today, it's unfortunately a lot more newsworthy.
Several times the cameras showed Ellen and the former President laughing together and some people got upset about it. Since Ellen is a liberal and George W. Bush is a conservative, there were a number of people who were angry about it. One of the celebrities who scolded Ellen was actor, Mark Ruffalo, best known for playing The Hulk. This is what he said:
"Sorry, until George W. Bush is brought to justice for the crimes of the Iraq War, (including American-lead torture, Iraqi deaths & displacement, and the deep scars—emotional & otherwise—inflicted on our military that served his folly), we can’t even begin to talk about kindness."
In response to some of the negative feedback she got, Ellen's reply was this:
"Here’s the thing. I’m friends with George Bush,” who has appeared on her talk show. “In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different, and I think we’ve forgotten that that’s OK that we’re all different.” “But just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be friends with them. When I say, ‘Be kind to one another,’ I don’t only mean the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone. Doesn’t matter [who].”
She could not have said it any better. She did have some people who supported her, but comments like Mark Ruffalo's unfortunately show how out of touch some people in Hollywood are. When a Conservative hears comments like those, they immediately think that's how most people in Hollywood and liberals think. These are the comments that make the news and turn a lot of people off.
Ellen's comments did make the news, but when someone criticizes and condemns today, it's unfortunately a lot more newsworthy.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
The Horse Carriage Ride
What could be more southern than taking a horse carriage ride through the streets of Charleston, South Carolina, which is 349 years old? My wife and I have driven many Uber/Lyft passengers in the Charleston area, but Sunday was the first time we visited as tourists. We went with our youngest daughter and had a great time.
One of the best ways to see the city is to take an hour long horse carriage ride which costs between $25-$28 a person. There are five carriage companies in downtown Charleston and they all have to check in with the city government which has a representative sitting in a little white shack on a street corner. Each carriage has to give the name of the horse(ours was Gary) and how many passengers are in the carriage. The government official uses a Bingo ball to randomly select which route each carriage will take so there aren't a bunch of them on one particular route. None of us can remember how many routes there are, but it's at least five.
Our tour guide has been doing this for 18 years and he was really good. It was amazing to watch from the first row seat how he steered the horse and stopped it just by moving his hand slightly. He was distracted too, since he was speaking to us non-stop as we rode through the town. At one point there was a few musicians playing music on the steps of a building. The horse clearly did not like the music and he had to be calmed down since we had a red light in front of us.
Charleston is known for two things, the food and the architecture. The houses and churches were not just old, but they really did have that "southern charm" about them. The design of the houses were very unique. Some places had been modernized and some clearly were not. Our guide pointed out a number of older and smaller houses that were used for slaves at the time. These small houses are today called carriage houses.
The weather was perfect that afternoon, sunny and breezy. It was a relaxing ride through the streets of Charleston and I would highly recommend seeing some of the city the old fashioned way-in a carriage.
One of the best ways to see the city is to take an hour long horse carriage ride which costs between $25-$28 a person. There are five carriage companies in downtown Charleston and they all have to check in with the city government which has a representative sitting in a little white shack on a street corner. Each carriage has to give the name of the horse(ours was Gary) and how many passengers are in the carriage. The government official uses a Bingo ball to randomly select which route each carriage will take so there aren't a bunch of them on one particular route. None of us can remember how many routes there are, but it's at least five.
Our tour guide has been doing this for 18 years and he was really good. It was amazing to watch from the first row seat how he steered the horse and stopped it just by moving his hand slightly. He was distracted too, since he was speaking to us non-stop as we rode through the town. At one point there was a few musicians playing music on the steps of a building. The horse clearly did not like the music and he had to be calmed down since we had a red light in front of us.
Charleston is known for two things, the food and the architecture. The houses and churches were not just old, but they really did have that "southern charm" about them. The design of the houses were very unique. Some places had been modernized and some clearly were not. Our guide pointed out a number of older and smaller houses that were used for slaves at the time. These small houses are today called carriage houses.
The weather was perfect that afternoon, sunny and breezy. It was a relaxing ride through the streets of Charleston and I would highly recommend seeing some of the city the old fashioned way-in a carriage.
The Night I Defended Three Democrats
Maybe there was a full moon, but I not only defended three Democrats in one night, I did it to a Democrat who was knocking them. A friend of mine down here is a Democrat from New York and although we differ on many issues, we do enjoy discussing them. I was talking on the phone with him when this all began.
I told him that I just finished reading former Democrat Senator Al Franken's book and it was very good. I said that I thought he was pushed out too quickly and he was not given a chance to defend himself against improper advances to several women.(although it looked bad) My friend said he was guilty and he needed to resign. I think he was sacrificed to go after the President, who has been accused of things by a number of women. I'm pretty sure I did not change his mind.
The second Democrat I defended was former Vice-President Joe Biden. I said that he was very well liked and I felt he was pretty honest. My friend would have none of that and said in so many words that he's a politician for a long time and certainly has done many things over that time that were dishonest. He didn't convince me.
The third Democrat I defended was the big one-Franklin Delano Roosevelt! I couldn't believe it! Although he did have some critics in his own party at the time, he is widely considered the greatest President we've ever had or right behind Abraham Lincoln. My friend was upset that he apparently had an affair as President. I reminded him that Eleanor supposedly had a relationship with another woman at the same time when they were in the White House. I suggested that it was possible that they had discussed it and they had some kind of arrangement. Of course, this is just speculation, but it is possible. I didn't score any points with my friend on this one either.
It's not too often that a Republican defends a Democrat and three in one night for different reasons, was probably a record. When it comes to politics these days, we do live in interesting times and you never know what will happen.
I told him that I just finished reading former Democrat Senator Al Franken's book and it was very good. I said that I thought he was pushed out too quickly and he was not given a chance to defend himself against improper advances to several women.(although it looked bad) My friend said he was guilty and he needed to resign. I think he was sacrificed to go after the President, who has been accused of things by a number of women. I'm pretty sure I did not change his mind.
The second Democrat I defended was former Vice-President Joe Biden. I said that he was very well liked and I felt he was pretty honest. My friend would have none of that and said in so many words that he's a politician for a long time and certainly has done many things over that time that were dishonest. He didn't convince me.
The third Democrat I defended was the big one-Franklin Delano Roosevelt! I couldn't believe it! Although he did have some critics in his own party at the time, he is widely considered the greatest President we've ever had or right behind Abraham Lincoln. My friend was upset that he apparently had an affair as President. I reminded him that Eleanor supposedly had a relationship with another woman at the same time when they were in the White House. I suggested that it was possible that they had discussed it and they had some kind of arrangement. Of course, this is just speculation, but it is possible. I didn't score any points with my friend on this one either.
It's not too often that a Republican defends a Democrat and three in one night for different reasons, was probably a record. When it comes to politics these days, we do live in interesting times and you never know what will happen.
Monday, October 14, 2019
October 14, 1976
I blogged recently that there are a number of special dates in Yankee baseball history and today is one of those dates. It was 43 years ago today that the Yankees played the fifth and deciding game of the 1976 American League Championship Series. This week, The Yankees may have another chance to go to The World Series, but it won't compare to the unforgettable moment in 1976.
The Yankees were playing the Kansas City Royals in Yankee Stadium and were winning the game 6-3 in the 8th inning. The crowd could sense that we were going to win. The Yankees had not been in the World Series since 1964 and they were only six outs away in the eighth inning. The Royals future Hall of Famer, George Brett, stunned the crowd with a three run homer and the game was tied 6-6 in the ninth inning.
The Yankees barely escaped the top of the ninth without giving up a run and they started the bottom of the ninth with the chance of scoring one run and heading to The World Series. The crowd was on it's feet and the start of the inning was delayed due to security trying to get things under control in case the Yankees suddenly won the game.
I was 16 years old and supposed to be in bed. My door was shut, my lights were off, the television volume was off and technically I was in bed. I sat on the edge of the bed and the clock struck 11:43 pm. The pitcher, Mark Littell, threw the first pitch to the Yankee's first baseman, Chris Chambliss, and that was the moment.
The ball was hit just over the right field wall and the Yankees were in the World Series. The crowd went absolutely crazy. They mobbed the field, almost knocking Chambliss down and they prevented him from touching home plate. It took only a minute or two for the entire field to be mobbed by the delirious fans.
I stood up in my room, but could not jump. I waved my arms, pumped them in the air, but I could not make a sound. It was the moment I had been waiting for, we were in The World Series! A few minutes later I shut the television off and really got into bed and I know I went to sleep with a smile on my face.
I just watched the replay of that home run and I'm going to go to sleep tonight with a smile on my face as I remember one of the great moments in Yankee history, 43 years ago today.
The Yankees were playing the Kansas City Royals in Yankee Stadium and were winning the game 6-3 in the 8th inning. The crowd could sense that we were going to win. The Yankees had not been in the World Series since 1964 and they were only six outs away in the eighth inning. The Royals future Hall of Famer, George Brett, stunned the crowd with a three run homer and the game was tied 6-6 in the ninth inning.
The Yankees barely escaped the top of the ninth without giving up a run and they started the bottom of the ninth with the chance of scoring one run and heading to The World Series. The crowd was on it's feet and the start of the inning was delayed due to security trying to get things under control in case the Yankees suddenly won the game.
I was 16 years old and supposed to be in bed. My door was shut, my lights were off, the television volume was off and technically I was in bed. I sat on the edge of the bed and the clock struck 11:43 pm. The pitcher, Mark Littell, threw the first pitch to the Yankee's first baseman, Chris Chambliss, and that was the moment.
The ball was hit just over the right field wall and the Yankees were in the World Series. The crowd went absolutely crazy. They mobbed the field, almost knocking Chambliss down and they prevented him from touching home plate. It took only a minute or two for the entire field to be mobbed by the delirious fans.
I stood up in my room, but could not jump. I waved my arms, pumped them in the air, but I could not make a sound. It was the moment I had been waiting for, we were in The World Series! A few minutes later I shut the television off and really got into bed and I know I went to sleep with a smile on my face.
I just watched the replay of that home run and I'm going to go to sleep tonight with a smile on my face as I remember one of the great moments in Yankee history, 43 years ago today.
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Loss/Gain and "This Is Us"
Loss is part of life. We sometimes lose a paper or a piece of clothing, or our team loses, or something that is not that significant. But sometimes losses are much more important. We can lose a wallet, a job, a relationship, ability to do something, or even a loved one. Frequently, people are constantly trying to overcome something they have lost. How do we deal with these losses?
In sports terms I've told people in my car that I've seen The New York Yankees win 7 championships. That is a lot for modern times, however, I started rooting for them in 1966. I've seen them lose, or fail to win a championship, more than forty times. It's the years they lost that make the years they won so special.
How does that relate to the real world of losses that we deal with. One of my riders that I wrote about earlier in the year had a very successful law practice with several offices. His son lived in the Myrtle Beach area and became very ill. It was obvious that his illness was terminal. My rider closed his offices in Virginia and moved in to take care of his son. He took care of his bills and made his son's last couple years much better. After his son passed, he mourned and eventually decided to go to work and is doing something less stressful and something he enjoys-cooking chicken at KFC.
It's a sad story, but an admirable one. He did the right thing and he feels good about it. He spent time with someone he loved and did whatever he could. The truth is he gained a lot from this experience and you can tell that when you talk to him.
What have you gained from the things you've lost? Ask yourself that question as you work through your loss. I'm not saying it was good that you lost something, but I'm saying what did you gain from your loss? I bet you can come up with some things if you want to.
The television show, "This Is Us", is easily one of the best shows on television. The writing and acting is top notch and it really shows very real situations that many of us go through. Last week the story was partly about how the main characters dealt with their kids growing up. They wanted to still cuddle with their kids like they used to, but it just wasn't the same. The kids now had more friends and different interests and their relationships with their parents have changed.
Down here in Myrtle Beach my wife and I often talk about how much we miss our kids. It's easy to remember all the fun times and some difficult ones that we had as they were growing up. Although they do have their own lives in different cities, we are still an important part of their lives and they are important in our lives. It's just different today than it used to be. We have gained from those times in the past and we can clearly see how they have gained from us. Sure, at times it feels like we've lost something, but it's important to remember how much we've gained and they have too.
And, when we all get together over Thanksgiving, it will be the times that we've been apart that will make Thanksgiving a great time for all of us.
In sports terms I've told people in my car that I've seen The New York Yankees win 7 championships. That is a lot for modern times, however, I started rooting for them in 1966. I've seen them lose, or fail to win a championship, more than forty times. It's the years they lost that make the years they won so special.
How does that relate to the real world of losses that we deal with. One of my riders that I wrote about earlier in the year had a very successful law practice with several offices. His son lived in the Myrtle Beach area and became very ill. It was obvious that his illness was terminal. My rider closed his offices in Virginia and moved in to take care of his son. He took care of his bills and made his son's last couple years much better. After his son passed, he mourned and eventually decided to go to work and is doing something less stressful and something he enjoys-cooking chicken at KFC.
It's a sad story, but an admirable one. He did the right thing and he feels good about it. He spent time with someone he loved and did whatever he could. The truth is he gained a lot from this experience and you can tell that when you talk to him.
What have you gained from the things you've lost? Ask yourself that question as you work through your loss. I'm not saying it was good that you lost something, but I'm saying what did you gain from your loss? I bet you can come up with some things if you want to.
The television show, "This Is Us", is easily one of the best shows on television. The writing and acting is top notch and it really shows very real situations that many of us go through. Last week the story was partly about how the main characters dealt with their kids growing up. They wanted to still cuddle with their kids like they used to, but it just wasn't the same. The kids now had more friends and different interests and their relationships with their parents have changed.
Down here in Myrtle Beach my wife and I often talk about how much we miss our kids. It's easy to remember all the fun times and some difficult ones that we had as they were growing up. Although they do have their own lives in different cities, we are still an important part of their lives and they are important in our lives. It's just different today than it used to be. We have gained from those times in the past and we can clearly see how they have gained from us. Sure, at times it feels like we've lost something, but it's important to remember how much we've gained and they have too.
And, when we all get together over Thanksgiving, it will be the times that we've been apart that will make Thanksgiving a great time for all of us.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
October 2, 1978
As a number's guy there are a few dates that are easy to remember-December 7, 1944(D-Day), November 22, 1963(JFK Assassination), and September 11, 2001(Terrorist Attack on New York City and Washington D.C.) As a Yankee fan, there are a few very memorable dates and today is one of them.
On this day, forty-one years ago, The New York Yankees played their bitter rivals, The Boston Red Sox, in Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts. It was one of the greatest baseball games ever played since it decided one of the greatest pennant races of all-time. Both teams finished the season 99-63 and the winner of this game would send that team into the playoffs.
The game was very much like the season. The Red Sox were winning 2-0 late in the game and during the season they were ahead of the Yankees by 14 1/2 games, which appeared to be an impossible deficit to overcome. In the bottom of the seventh inning, light hitting short stop, Bucky Dent of the Yankees, hit a three-run homer to give the Yankees a 3-2 lead when they were down to their last seven outs of the season.
But, the Red Sox fought back as they did during the season. In September, The Yankees beat The Red Sox four straight games in Fenway Park to tie The Red Sox for first place. During the month, they went ahead by a couple games, but the Red Sox won their last seven games to tie The Yankees.
The game came down to the bottom of the ninth inning with The Yankees hanging on to a 5-4 lead. (courtesy of Reggie Jackson's home run) With two outs and the tying run on third, future Hall of Famer, Carl Yastrzemski, came up to face future Hall of Famer, Goose Gossage of The Yankees.
I was kneeling on the floor in front of the television with my hands in a praying position and I watched the final pitch of the game. It was a pop-up in foul territory just to the side of third base and Graig Nettles caught the ball and The Yankees had finally finished off The Red Sox to go to the playoffs. I still remember how that moment felt, it was thrilling.
The Yankees went through the playoffs and won The World Series for the second year in a row, but today, forty one years ago, was the day that is most remembered in the 1978 baseball season.
To celebrate that day, I got a young Yankee fan excited. I was delivering to an office building, wearing my Yankee hat. The receptionist was a Yankee fan and she told me that her uncle was coming into town tonight and he's a big Boston Red Sox fan. I told her to ask him what happened forty-one years ago today and if he didn't remember, just say... Bucky Dent.
No matter how many championships The Boston Red Sox win, their fans will always remember Bucky Dent and the day his home run silenced their crowd and destroyed their season. It was forty-one years ago today.
On this day, forty-one years ago, The New York Yankees played their bitter rivals, The Boston Red Sox, in Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts. It was one of the greatest baseball games ever played since it decided one of the greatest pennant races of all-time. Both teams finished the season 99-63 and the winner of this game would send that team into the playoffs.
The game was very much like the season. The Red Sox were winning 2-0 late in the game and during the season they were ahead of the Yankees by 14 1/2 games, which appeared to be an impossible deficit to overcome. In the bottom of the seventh inning, light hitting short stop, Bucky Dent of the Yankees, hit a three-run homer to give the Yankees a 3-2 lead when they were down to their last seven outs of the season.
But, the Red Sox fought back as they did during the season. In September, The Yankees beat The Red Sox four straight games in Fenway Park to tie The Red Sox for first place. During the month, they went ahead by a couple games, but the Red Sox won their last seven games to tie The Yankees.
The game came down to the bottom of the ninth inning with The Yankees hanging on to a 5-4 lead. (courtesy of Reggie Jackson's home run) With two outs and the tying run on third, future Hall of Famer, Carl Yastrzemski, came up to face future Hall of Famer, Goose Gossage of The Yankees.
I was kneeling on the floor in front of the television with my hands in a praying position and I watched the final pitch of the game. It was a pop-up in foul territory just to the side of third base and Graig Nettles caught the ball and The Yankees had finally finished off The Red Sox to go to the playoffs. I still remember how that moment felt, it was thrilling.
The Yankees went through the playoffs and won The World Series for the second year in a row, but today, forty one years ago, was the day that is most remembered in the 1978 baseball season.
To celebrate that day, I got a young Yankee fan excited. I was delivering to an office building, wearing my Yankee hat. The receptionist was a Yankee fan and she told me that her uncle was coming into town tonight and he's a big Boston Red Sox fan. I told her to ask him what happened forty-one years ago today and if he didn't remember, just say... Bucky Dent.
No matter how many championships The Boston Red Sox win, their fans will always remember Bucky Dent and the day his home run silenced their crowd and destroyed their season. It was forty-one years ago today.
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Rider stories
THE THANKSGIVING INVITE: It's not unusual to be invited to Thanksgiving, but when your invite is for Labor Day and the person just met you, that is unusual. My rider was going to Wal-Mart the day before Labor Day to buy some things to make for their Thanksgiving Feast on Labor Day in North Carolina. It's a tradition her family has and she invited me to join them. I told her I wouldn't be able to since I was spending the day with my wife and my brother who was visiting. She invited them to, but she never gave me an address so we missed out on the fun.
MEMORABLE MORGAN: As soon as I started driving her and her two friends she said, "I think you drove us in January." She then remembered me, my van, that I was from the northeast, we talked about the football Giants and her team the Eagles, and she knew the bar I brought them to. When she pointed out the bar I did remember dropping someone there, but I did not remember her. She said she remembers all kinds of insignificant things. Then, she called herself "Memorable Morgan," after I forgot her. She was memorable this time. She told me that the three of them were hit on by married guys from West Virginia last night and the guy talking to her had a pet raccoon. The guy sent her a video of him and his raccoon on his shoulder and she showed it to me. She was enthusiastic and a lot of fun to talk to and the next time she comes back I promise, I will remember "Memorable Morgan."
PROFESSIONAL SAILING TRAINERS: After working for 35 years in an unrelated field, the man started his own business with his wife. They train people on how to sail and they have clients who come from all over the world for the three days of training. They take off four months every year to sail and they were on their return trip to Key West, Florida when I gave them a ride to a Wal-Mart. The cost of their three day training for a couple is $6,000 and they train about 120 people a year. They do not own a house, only two boats which they live on. What an unusual life!
THE NEW GOLFER: His boss was concerned about him physically since he played softball five times a week. He suggested that he start playing golf which would be less strain on him. My rider wasn't interested until the boss said, "if you hit under 100 in the first year, I'll give you a $5,000 bonus." He started playing golf and without lessons scored a 99 in seven months and collected his bonus.
DR. DOOLITTLE'S SON: About a hundred years ago there was a series of children's books about a fictional character, Dr. Doolittle. He loved animals and was able to communicate with them. My rider did not tell me that he talked to his animals, but he did tell me that he's had about 200 pets. He is in his early 20's and he's from New York. About 140 of them were fish and the other 60 were pets of all kinds. I did ask if he had a zebra and he said, "unfortunately no." His Australian German Shephard is a big dog and sometimes wakes him up by punching him in the face. He said, "my life would be so much better without the dog, but I love it." His advice on getting a pet, "you're better off with a cat than a dog."
THE ARMY GUY: I picked up two successful guys in a very nice neighborhood. One guy served three years in the Army and was stationed in Baghdad. He enlisted immediately after 9-11 and decided not to re-enlist when there was too much politics involved in what they were doing. We had an interesting discussion on gun control issues. He has about ten guns in his house and has trained his son and wife on how to use them in an emergency. The attitudes towards guns are very different in the South than in the north. He carries a gun with him almost all the time and said, "I'd rather have a gun and not need it, than not have a gun and need it.
THE MARRIAGE RIDE: Sometimes people are surprised to hear that someone is married for a long time, but this ride was very unique. I was driving four women from Wisconsin who were all married between 18-25 years. Of course, I told them I was married for 36 years and I added up all the numbers: the five of us had been married for 125 years combined. I'm sure that's a record for one vehicle.
THE FLIER: I drove my rider to the airport so he could head north in his plane. For the past fifteen years he's been a Crisis Management Consultant, helping companies overcome significant problems. I could tell he was very knowledgeable about his field and I would have enjoyed talking with him another ten minutes. I also knew that his real passion was flying. He said, "every day is a great day to fly, it's a great way to see the country."
THE GOLF PRO: He spent a number of years in Myrtle Beach and then moved to Ohio since the pay was a lot better. He works in an exclusive club giving golf lessons to members. He had me laughing when he told me that the club set up a special group for him to work with. He had 22 children who were three years old! He had to hire two other people for those sessions. They used plastic golf clubs, although some of the parents had already bought their three year old a real golf club. I would have loved to see him training that group!
THE PORTLAND SALESMAN: The very outgoing guy caught me off guard when I asked him, "what's it like living in Portland?" He told me it's been very difficult, because of all the protesters which I've read about for the past couple of years. He told me that the city government is very weak. He said that they don't want to offend anyone and they won't let the local police do their job and keep groups like Antifa(very liberal protesters who dress in black with masks and believe in violence to disrupt peaceful rallies) from causing problems in Portland. After his short rant he stopped and said, "you're not going to drop me off in the middle of nowhere, because of what I said, are you?" I told him I agreed with what he said and I knew what was going on. I would have enjoyed a longer ride with him since he was so passionate about the topic.
MEMORABLE MORGAN: As soon as I started driving her and her two friends she said, "I think you drove us in January." She then remembered me, my van, that I was from the northeast, we talked about the football Giants and her team the Eagles, and she knew the bar I brought them to. When she pointed out the bar I did remember dropping someone there, but I did not remember her. She said she remembers all kinds of insignificant things. Then, she called herself "Memorable Morgan," after I forgot her. She was memorable this time. She told me that the three of them were hit on by married guys from West Virginia last night and the guy talking to her had a pet raccoon. The guy sent her a video of him and his raccoon on his shoulder and she showed it to me. She was enthusiastic and a lot of fun to talk to and the next time she comes back I promise, I will remember "Memorable Morgan."
PROFESSIONAL SAILING TRAINERS: After working for 35 years in an unrelated field, the man started his own business with his wife. They train people on how to sail and they have clients who come from all over the world for the three days of training. They take off four months every year to sail and they were on their return trip to Key West, Florida when I gave them a ride to a Wal-Mart. The cost of their three day training for a couple is $6,000 and they train about 120 people a year. They do not own a house, only two boats which they live on. What an unusual life!
THE NEW GOLFER: His boss was concerned about him physically since he played softball five times a week. He suggested that he start playing golf which would be less strain on him. My rider wasn't interested until the boss said, "if you hit under 100 in the first year, I'll give you a $5,000 bonus." He started playing golf and without lessons scored a 99 in seven months and collected his bonus.
DR. DOOLITTLE'S SON: About a hundred years ago there was a series of children's books about a fictional character, Dr. Doolittle. He loved animals and was able to communicate with them. My rider did not tell me that he talked to his animals, but he did tell me that he's had about 200 pets. He is in his early 20's and he's from New York. About 140 of them were fish and the other 60 were pets of all kinds. I did ask if he had a zebra and he said, "unfortunately no." His Australian German Shephard is a big dog and sometimes wakes him up by punching him in the face. He said, "my life would be so much better without the dog, but I love it." His advice on getting a pet, "you're better off with a cat than a dog."
THE ARMY GUY: I picked up two successful guys in a very nice neighborhood. One guy served three years in the Army and was stationed in Baghdad. He enlisted immediately after 9-11 and decided not to re-enlist when there was too much politics involved in what they were doing. We had an interesting discussion on gun control issues. He has about ten guns in his house and has trained his son and wife on how to use them in an emergency. The attitudes towards guns are very different in the South than in the north. He carries a gun with him almost all the time and said, "I'd rather have a gun and not need it, than not have a gun and need it.
THE MARRIAGE RIDE: Sometimes people are surprised to hear that someone is married for a long time, but this ride was very unique. I was driving four women from Wisconsin who were all married between 18-25 years. Of course, I told them I was married for 36 years and I added up all the numbers: the five of us had been married for 125 years combined. I'm sure that's a record for one vehicle.
THE FLIER: I drove my rider to the airport so he could head north in his plane. For the past fifteen years he's been a Crisis Management Consultant, helping companies overcome significant problems. I could tell he was very knowledgeable about his field and I would have enjoyed talking with him another ten minutes. I also knew that his real passion was flying. He said, "every day is a great day to fly, it's a great way to see the country."
THE GOLF PRO: He spent a number of years in Myrtle Beach and then moved to Ohio since the pay was a lot better. He works in an exclusive club giving golf lessons to members. He had me laughing when he told me that the club set up a special group for him to work with. He had 22 children who were three years old! He had to hire two other people for those sessions. They used plastic golf clubs, although some of the parents had already bought their three year old a real golf club. I would have loved to see him training that group!
THE PORTLAND SALESMAN: The very outgoing guy caught me off guard when I asked him, "what's it like living in Portland?" He told me it's been very difficult, because of all the protesters which I've read about for the past couple of years. He told me that the city government is very weak. He said that they don't want to offend anyone and they won't let the local police do their job and keep groups like Antifa(very liberal protesters who dress in black with masks and believe in violence to disrupt peaceful rallies) from causing problems in Portland. After his short rant he stopped and said, "you're not going to drop me off in the middle of nowhere, because of what I said, are you?" I told him I agreed with what he said and I knew what was going on. I would have enjoyed a longer ride with him since he was so passionate about the topic.
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