Courier Chuckles

You know how much I enjoy driving with Uber and Lyft and how often I'm laughing in my car.  However, during the week as a courier, I'm laughing a lot also.  Here are some recent adventures I've had as a courier making deliveries:

"THIS WILL BE EASIER FOR YOU"  I was unloading about thirty boxes in a hospital hallway when the Manager's Assistant said those magic words to me.  I thought he was going to help, but he had a better idea.  We put the few boxes back on the cart and he had me follow him to the other side of the hospital and once again he said, "this will be easier for you."  As we got out of the elevator, he decided to help me further by pulling the cart and as he did, half the boxes fell to the ground.  He said that would be as far as we'd have to go and he didn't repeat his magic words.  It wasn't easier for either one of us.

"I'LL MOVE IN SLOW MOTION FOR YOU"  I was in a hurry in the hospital hallway and I saw the elevator closing ahead of me.  I started jogging/running and made it inside.  I did notice another guy I deliver to sitting at the desk laughing while I was running.  When I came back downstairs I said to him, "were you laughing at me before when I was running."  He didn't deny it, but his laughter answered my question.  I told him the next time I deliver to him I'll be moving in slow motion.  He laughed a bit more, but wait until that day comes.  I'm going to milk that line even further.

"LIGHTS ON, LIGHTS OFF"  A woman was guiding me into a small office to leave the boxes.  It was really tight and as I turned the hand truck, my elbow shut off the light switch on the wall.  As I switched hands to turn it on, she was on the other side of the office flicking the light switch off.  We did this twice and after laughing we decided only one of us would turn the light on.  She was from Long Island, NY and a Met fan, so you could see how we clashed, but it was fun.

"THE MAGIC BOX" Sometimes I will make a delivery and someone will ask, "what is it?"  I look at the box and with a big smile on my face I say, "it's a box."  One lady recently said, "it's a magic box."  I added, "and anything you want is right inside."  I've used "the magic box" line many times and always get a good laugh.  I also tell them, "don't tell anyone."

"DO I REALLY NEED HELP?"  As I approached the front door with my heavy load on  my hand truck, I saw the man sitting in his walker very close to the door.  He started to move and I told him he was fine.  As I backed to the door and started opening it, I saw his wife pull up in the car and he stood up and started walking towards it.  Before I knew it, the wife had walked past her husband and reached out to my door to help me, which wasn't necessary.  I wanted to yell at her and say, "I'm fine-help him, he's got a walker."  I only said, "thank you" and shook my head in disbelief at another example of southern hospitality.

"ANOTHER ANGEL GOT HIS WINGS"  As I walked into the physical therapy section of the hospital to make a delivery, I heard the end of a conversation.  There was an older man surrounded by three women who worked there.  He said something to the effect, "my doctor said I really should stop doing it."  One of the women said, "that's the problem, so many women and so little time."  The man went over to a bell on the desk and hit it several times.  When I came out of the back room to get a signature I said, " I don't want to know what that whole conversation was about, but when that man started hitting that bell, all I could about was that another angel got his wings! (from the movie "A Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart}  Suddenly, and simultaneously, both women burst out laughing and it scared me.  I should have thanked them for being a great audience, but they really startled me.

"AMAZING"  Another delivery person was next to me as we delivered to a medical office this past Monday morning.  I asked him how he was doing and he said, "amazing."  When someone tells me that on a Monday morning, I had to find out why.  I told him that Monday was my favorite day of the week and he said, "every day I wake up is my favorite day."  We talked a total of two minutes, but the third thing he said that I loved was, "positivity is contagious."  I think if I spent fifteen minutes with him that I would have written a whole blog about him, maybe one day he'll need an Uber?