Him: "You should do Uber at the border, you won't have to travel far. You can call yourself, "Sunshine Coyote." (since my business name is Sunshine Man.)
Me: "What advice would you give me on how to get used to having a dog for the first time in my life?" Female dog sitter: "Remember that a dog thinks like a dog. People take what dogs do too personally."
After I told the woman about the guy last month who said, "I haven't gone to sleep, I hope you're not a narc," the woman laughed and then snorted three times. She said, "Oh sorry, I snorted, but not like the guy did."
She: "A 16 year-old girl came into our dental office with a chipped tooth from basketball. Her younger sister had super-glued it back on and since the glue is toxic, there was a lot of pain."
"I repair blinds and every year we go to different sororities and fix their blinds. One year some of them were forced to sing to us and they had just woken up and were in underwear and what they slept in. I always look forward to visiting there."
British guy: "When I got my visa I put down I was from the U.K., but they thought it said O.K. I told them I was from Oklahoma and I still go with that."
The baccalaureate from L.A. got in my car and said, "I'm going to an IV Spa, because I'm so hungover from last night and I have to feel better for tonight."
Only half joking, the male College of Charleston student said, "There are too many girls and a lot them are kind of slow."
She just married a professional baseball player: "I hate all sports, but I'll watch the luge. I would never try it because I'd be afraid of getting my finger cut off." Me: "So gym wasn't your favorite subject in school?" Her: "NOOOOOOO!"
She: "I'm in spine sales. If you need spine surgery I'm the one getting the physicians what they need and I'm in the operating room. I feel guilty liking my job this much."
Female limo driver: "My nephew is a limo driver and he was giving a wine tour in New York and all seven people gave him a $100 tip."
Woman in a bikini, "My sister is an ICU nurse and she just appeared in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue."
Young woman: "I had a male Uber driver who spent the whole 25 minute trip telling me about his Beanie Baby collection. It was painful. I nearly jumped out of the car."
"I just came back from a ten day vacation in Egypt. In Cairo there are white lines on the road, but no one pays any attention to them. They drive all over the road and honk all the time."
She said, "laughter is better than Zantex."
She told me, "I was forced to walk the Ravenel Bridge. I drive on it every day, why should I walk it?"
DJ: "In Jamaica all the stations play every kind of music so you get used to listening to great music."
She said, "We moved out of California when I was almost kidnapped at two years old. A woman grabbed me from my crib through an open window and was at the street when my Mom started yelling at her."
Former UFC fighter: "while trying out I walked up to the biggest guy and said, "If I beat you I'll make a name for myself. He laughed, but I did."
The female event planner: "I had a big event for a rapper in Atlanta and they held up paying me and the funding didn't come down until ten hours before the event. I had to go on vacation after it was over."
Female engineer: "In college I had a wilder side. I programmed my parents not to call me on the weekend and it worked. Now, I party harder with them than anyone."
Me: "Have you ever gotten a gift from your Uber driver?" Her: "No, just the gift of transporting me."
Wearing an orange shirt I couldn't help but comment on the bright colors the 26 year old male was wearing. I said, "From what we're wearing, I could be your Dad." He said, "If you want to, that's okay with me."
Male: "I named my daughter Kannon. I'm from Philly and we greet each other by saying, "hey cannon."
She: "I moved from one Chicago suburb to another two years ago, but it's not feeding my soul."
Complaining about the Uber driver who canceled him due to traffic, I said, "would you like a gift from your Uber driver?" Him: "no, it's not necessary." Later on he changed his mind and as I pulled away he was reading my list of favorite comments standing outside his front door."
After correctly guessing that the Ravenel Bridge looks like two sailboats, I told her that she was the first local to guess that. The young, Geology major replied, "that's because I'm a smarty."
Me: "If you were stranded on a desert island and could listen to only three singers or groups, who would they be?" Former DJ: "Bob Marley, Biggie Small and The Temptations."
She: "I can't wait to read your list, I make a list of comments that I hear people say."
"The chef training me said that I have to find my own style."
She said, "We couldn't go on our honeymoon last year to Greece, so we went to Montana instead and had a great time."
Him: "I don't drink coffee or liquor. Some people have asked me, "what is your vice?" I tell them candy, I love candy."
"I hate baseball. As a big kid I was put at first base although I never had put on a glove. The first batter hit it to the shortstop and he threw at me and hit me in the arm and it was bruised for a long time."
Military guy just back from a tour in Syria, "Good old Syria, just like Michigan."
Male Red Sox fan: "When I was eight years old I went to Yankee Stadium wearing all this Red Sox stuff. I was standing there eating peanuts and this older man walked up to me and gave me two middle fingers and said, "Red Sox suck."
Very outgoing and personable young male: "Most Uber drivers don't talk so I just sit there looking out the window."
Male in commercial real estate: "I've lived in New York City for ten years, but I don't no how much longer my wallet can take it."
"There needs to be more Uber drivers like you."
Him: "I wrote an Urban novel about living in Charleston and I've sold 500 copies mostly out of my store."
Female: "Thank you for that laugh early in the morning."
Me: "How much am I going to make you laugh?" Her: "A lot."
She: "There are some mouthy southerners, including my daughter."
Me: "What do you do for work?" 18-year old male: "I micro-manage a store."
Male: "I was sick and tired of the snow and cold in Montana, so I moved to South Carolina."
"St. Patrick's Day is like Mardi Gras in Savannah."
After telling my passenger the best baseball story about his beloved Red Sox, he got out of the car saying, "what a great ride."
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