JULY RIDER STORIES

 THE AIRPLANE PAINTER: In the old days people always looked in the newspaper for a new job.  My rider worked in Florida in retail eight years ago, when he decided to change careers.  He found an ad in a newspaper for a technical school that had a two month class on how to paint airplanes.  He took a risk and paid $2,000 for the class which had only seven people in it.  When he graduated he applied to dozens of places, but the only company to reply happened to be Boeing.  They offered him $38,000 to start, but he said, "I wasn't convinced it was enough until they said I could work overtime."  His first year he made $80,000.  He told me all about painting airplanes: planes are repainted every ten years and usually takes 7-10 days to complete with a staff of over 50 people working on it.  The paint alone cost $1 million dollars and the whole job usually is a few million dollars.  He loves what he does and he knows that he was lucky to fall into this job just at the right time.

THE BODY BUILDER: When you think of a bodybuilder you definitely don't think about someone who looks like the woman who got into my car.  At 54 years old, she had just competed and finished fifth in a competition and was thrilled with her results, because, "I was the only one in my class who did not juice."  She started doing this at the young age of 48.  She's a fitness trainer with 20 clients and she's raising three children by herself.  I asked her how she was able to accomplish so much and she said, "it's all time management, I plan everything in advance." She keeps in shape by exercising religiously for only one hour each day.  It was an inspiring ride for sure and to top it off this woman did not look a day over 40.  She didn't have super powers, but most people would agree that she is a, "Wonder Woman."

THE TEXAS TRUCK DRIVER: He and his wife got in my car and in a short time he made my day.  We joked about him being a Cowboy fan and me being a Giant fan, but that was just the beginning.  When I told him that he better be nice to his wife or he'll have to walk, he said, "I'd make a good hood ornament." I could just picture him hanging off the roof.  He definitely had a way with words and explained how he tells his friends how his marriage has survived. " 1. I married my best friend. 2. I know that she's really trying to kill me slowly and I'm not going to make it easy for her.  3. She can leave anytime she wants, but I'm going to go with her." They had a big fight once and she packed her bags and then he started packing his bags and told her that he was going with her and that ended their fight.  I thanked him for the ride, because it was the ride of the day.

CHANGING HIS DAY: In a hospital I used to deliver to there was a sign on the door that said, "I can't change your life, but I can change your day. "   When he got in the car he was visibly upset and annoyed.  The almost 44 year-old New York Detective was in town and a friend gave him a place he could stay and said there would be a car available for him too.  There was some miscommunication because there was no car and I was taking him to the airport to rent one. When I found out he was a detective I said, "I don't get a chance to talk to too many cops, so thank you for what you do.  I know it's difficult these days being a cop, but most people really do appreciate the police." His mood changed immediately and he told me, "I work in the beautiful sections of Brooklyn."(he was kidding) He has been a cop for 22 years and I asked him how COVID affected his work last year and what his opinion was on the "attack" on the Capital in Washington. He said, "I think there are more digital footprints that have not been released" about the attack.  He also commented on the "Defund Police" movement and said, "the people in charge should be held accountable for the loss of life it's caused."  When he got out of the car he felt a lot better than when he got in and that meant a lot to me.

"I DON'T HAVE ANY HOBBIES": At 27 years old, I found that hard to believe.  I was taking him from one restaurant to another and from his real Dad to his step Dad.  Our ride turned out longer when we got stuck with a swing bridge opening up just before I dropped him off. He sounded like he was burned out and under a lot of pressure as a project manager and had just reduced some of his hours.  It didn't take me long to find two hobbies of his that he had been ignoring.  He enjoys working out and also personal development is important to him.  I gave him a list of great books that I have and he's going to see if he can find some of them on tape he can listen to.  He had had a couple drinks already, but I wondered if he would completely remember what we talked about.  Two weeks after our ride he tipped me $14 on the app-he remembered and I enjoyed helping him out.

"To Mask or Not To Mask", Is That Really The Question?

Shakespeare's Hamlet had it much easier with his famous words, "to be or not to be." This has been a question throughout the world for the past 16 months, but probably nowhere in the world has the debate been fiercer than in the USA.  We are known for being independent and outspoken.  Last year on July 4th, I had a Cuban passenger who said, "You can't tell Americans what to do, that's what I love most about this country."  There are pluses and minuses to being this independent and passionate about doing what you want to do.

Uber/Lyft drivers are dealing with complete strangers getting in their car.  Have they been vaccinated? Will they wear a mask? Do they have to? The way it works for an Uber driver is that when they go on the app to drive they agree to wear a mask and follow the CDC suggestions for safety.  Passengers before they order the ride, they also are told they need to wear a mask.  Closed transportation places should be wearing masks, but that doesn't mean people are doing it.

The debate was in full force on the Uber/Lyft Facebook site this past week.  These are actual comments made by different drivers.  We are independent contractors and not employees and we are driving in our own car. However, take note of how passionate people are and it may help you understand how the rest of the country feels about wearing a mask.

FOR USING A MASK: "Why doesn't everyone just fall in line and comply? Comply, comply, comply-jeesh, it's like these Bozos don't trust the news or our government to protect us from all bad things always.

"I have no problem with people who want to practice "Self-Elimination." (formally known as suicide)

AGAINST USING A MASK: "I don't wear masks, don't make passengers wear one if they don't want to. If I have psycho one who wants to wear it, fine."

"Because it's easier to breathe without a germ infested diaper on my face."

"Because I don't fucking care. I've already been exposed and I'm sick of the government trying to rule our lives."

"I've never wore one since day one.  You puppets are the reason we are in this situation now! You're dumb as a box of rocks if you're thinking a mask is gonna save you."

MY OPINION: If I'm agreeing when I sign on each day I drive, I need to keep my word. It is that simple.  Secondly, almost all of these people are strangers.  I don't know if they are vaccinated or not.  It's common sense to still have them masked.  I give anyone a mask if they don't have it and I've had only one person refuse and she insisted I cancel the ride. She wound up paying for not getting a ride. Thirdly, if a rider dishonestly reports me for not wearing a mask, I could be unable to drive and it's not worth that risk.  My mask is always around my neck to put on easily.(made by my oldest daughter) Fourth, forty per cent of people who get the virus have no symptoms, how do you protect yourself from people who don't know they are sick? Fifth, If I had it or get it and don't know it, I could infect someone else.  That is not something I could feel proud about. 

People are different and they think differently.  The above comments are all drivers doing the same work in the same area and everyone feels that they are right. What would Hamlet say?

Pickleball Anyone?

 (Somehow it says in my records that I didn't "publish" this for people to read. If this is wrong and you read this a couple weeks ago, ignore this blogpost) 

Putting together the words pickle and ball does not seem like the right thing to do. I really, really don't like pickles, but like just about any game with "ball" in it.  If you've never heard of pickleball you are about to learn.

It was created in 1965 just outside Seattle, Washington on an island. Three congressmen returned home from playing golf. Their kids were bored so they created something to entertain them.  The kids got tennis paddles and a wiffleball and the net was lowered on the badminton court.  The game is a combination of ping pong and tennis, but on a smaller court than a tennis court with slightly different rules and less running.

Recently my kids got me a pickleball lesson to celebrate my retirement.  The idea was that since I've always enjoyed tennis, pickleball might be something I would enjoying doing now.  My two daughters were here visiting and joined in on the ninety minute lesson.

It was interesting and it was fun. We learned the basics on how to play from a woman who has played for a number of years.  There clearly was not as much running as I'm used to in tennis and since you were dealing with a paddle and wiffleball,  you had to hit the ball harder to get it over the net and deeper into the court.

I've been switching hands and using my left hand for decades in playing tennis and the trainer suggested I not switch hands because it's difficult to do up towards the net.  However, once she saw how well I did it, she told me to keep switching if I wanted to.

There are a few local places where people of all ages get together to play and all I need to do is buy a paddle and I can start playing.  Since I'm just sorting out what I'm doing four days a week, I haven't committed to getting a paddle, but I think next week will be the week and then I really can say, pickleball anyone?

How To Sell Your Wallet

You would think this is easy to do, but it's not.  Sure, you can take an old wallet and have a garage sale and sell your wallet for fifty cents or a dollar. However, how do you sell your wallet that has money and credit cards in it? This takes creativity and obviously I have it.  Plus, I got a lot of money for it!

I sold my work van for $4,500 and I was paid in cash.  Below are the forty-five, one hundred dollar bills, just so you know I'm not making this up.  The day before I sold it, I cleaned everything out of my van.  I even got a couple band aids and some change I found in the van.  I was very careful to make sure that everything was taken out of the van and it was.

The day I sold the van I drove to a parking lot nearby and met the guy from Long Island, NY and we made the deal.  I followed him to his bank and he got the money and then he followed me back to my house and I checked the van again and found nothing.

I had been handling two sets of keys for the car and then I separated one of them so I had my house key.  I had my cell phone and a clipboard with a money bag attached to it, which had all the money.  I watched the guy drive away and it was about ten minutes later I realized I did not have my wallet. I keep my wallet on the shelf above my head and just by habit I put it in there when I got in the car and I completely forgot about it.

The buyer lived close by, but he had already left for the day.  He returned early that evening with my wallet and I didn't have to give back any of the money.  

Walking A Dog

 It's a very common and simple thing to do, but for me, there's a lot more to it. When you see someone walking a dog, are they really? Or, is the dog walking them? If you look carefully, you may see what I see.  When my wife and I go out with our dog, Odin, I don't think it goes the way it's supposed to go.

Picture this: my wife is holding the leash and Odin is ahead of her and I am behind her.  We are not marching, but we could do a march.  Odin sometimes prances and he walks from one side of the road to the other and then he sometimes goes around my wife and I go around her too so we are once again are all walking the same way.  This is not walking! I spend some of the time just standing in the middle of the road, how am I getting exercise?

Dogs are very different. Odin walks on every lawn, what if I did that? He sniffs every lawn, what if I did that? He's sniffing for dogs and then he pees on many lawns? How can he do that? I know I can't do that, not that I want to.  And, then he finds the perfect lawn to make a bigger deposit on it.  How do we let dogs do this on stranger's lawns? I have no idea.  Below is a picture of Odin as he leaves another lawn he has terrorized in our neighborhood.

Who sets the pace when we take a walk? Of course, it's Odin. If I was a stranger and saw him coming, I would run the other way.  He goes up to complete strangers with his tale wagging and he's kissing them. I can't greet people that way.  And people who know Odin, they get a hug when he jumps up on them.  These people know him and have no idea who I am.

When Odin walks us at night, I am trying my best to enjoy the experience. Is it relaxing? No, it really is not. Is it fun? No, not really.  I wonder what Odin's thinking-"they need to walk a little faster, there are a lot of lawns I have to sniff here."

What Is On Their Car?

 At some point when I first started this blog, I wrote about seeing a bizarre group of sentences on a white van.  I couldn't find the blog, but it got me scratching my head and trying to figure out, "what is on their car?" I've wanted to write about some of the things I've seen on people's cars for quite awhile, so this is my first blog on three different cars I've seen this year.

I think the strangest one was the car that had a large piece of cardboard covering the entire back window. (although it looks like it's written on the window) I'm not sure I've ever seen that, but in big letters it said, "Honk, if you are horny, I K(know) you are," with a smiley face. I did not see the driver, because I was too busy taking the picture.  I think it looks like a female wrote it, but I'm just guessing. Is the driver trying to be funny? You have to figure this is someone young, but you can't help but ask the question, why?

My second favorite car with words on the back is a quote from 1981, which was 40 years ago.  It is a political quote that is printed on the back window and it's from the former CIA Director, William Casey. It reads, "We'll know our disinformation campaign is complete when everything the American public believes is false." At first I thought this was someone from the left using a quote from the Reagan Administration, but it looks like it's someone who got it from a conservative or libertarian.  There is a website also listed which has anti-mask info on it.  Still, someone with a forty year old quote printed on their back window, has to be pretty odd. 

Thirdly, we go further back over 300 years, for a quote on a van from John Paul Jones, the American Naval Commander in the Revolutionary War.  The quote says, "I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast, for I intend to go in harms way."  It's a great quote, but would you put it on your van? This person is probably either a big history buff or big boat/water person and probably a guy.

So, the next time you see something on someone's vehicle and you think it's odd, there are odder things here on vehicles in South Carolina.  Maybe, it's a southern thing?

"There Really Isn't Anything I Want To Buy"

 I am certain that there are some husbands that fantasize that one day their wife will say to them the magic words, "there really isn't anything I want to buy." Do they ever here those words? It is unlikely, but since I've been married almost 38 years, it may just have been my time.

About six weeks ago, my wife said this at the dinner table.  I asked if I could have it in writing, but of course I said it laughing.  If I made a list of all the things that she has mentioned since then that she wanted to buy, or if I had taken pictures of all the things she did buy, this blog might be even more entertaining.

The running joke now in our house is that when she says that she wants to buy something, I look at her and say, "this is something that you want to buy?" She is already grinning before I can get the words out.  I am not sure how long we will both be laughing about this, but it will probably be a long, long time.

My wife is wonderful and she takes very good care of me and has raised three amazing kids, so, she deserves just about anything she wants. Me on the other hand,  I'm not used to buying things.  Maybe in my free time, I can learn how to do this.  Over the weekend, I got a bunch of cash tips which doesn't happen very often.  They are mostly put on the Uber app, but I immediately took most of the cash out of my wallet.

How am I going to spend it, if I don't have it on me? Today I'm going to go all out and buy-a basketball.  That's right, just a basketball.  I'm going to get some exercise and I found some courts that I can shoot around maybe once a week early in the morning.  I also checked out the pickle ball paddles,  but I didn't buy them yet. Today, I just needed a basketball.

But really, there isn't anything else I want to buy.

Did I Tell You That Our Dog Is Being Neutered?

 

Very simply, a dog is not a human being. We tell children not to talk to strangers, yet it seems that for some dogs, strangers are a dogs' best friend.  At least with puppies, I see our puppy regularly chasing down strangers. He doesn't just go up to them, he licks them and jumps on them.

It's not just what the dog does, it' s what we do.  We talk to the dogs in an odd sounding voice and we believe that they really understand everything we're saying.  We'll even spell out words so they don't hear us say, "cheese." 

Some things go a little too far. For a couple weeks we,(mostly my wife), has been telling everyone that our dog is getting neutered. I don't know why, but I feel uncomfortable every time I hear it. We were at the Publix checking out and the cashier said, "do you have anything special planned for the holiday weekend?" My wife told her that we were just going to take it easy, because, "our dog was getting neutered."  This led of course to a picture and soon the couple behind us was looking at the picture of our puppy also.

I don't know much about this neutering thing so I looked it up and found out that it, "prevents testicular cancer and reduces the risk of other problems, such as prostate disease. It might also have less desire to roam. May help with certain behavior issues."

He was neutered and he has recovered fine, thanks for asking.  He was acting a little different though and of course slept a lot due to the medication he was taking.  Most pet owners are very comfortable talking to anyone about anything having to do with their pet.  Me-it's a work in progress, I did blog about it.  I just haven't told any strangers, "hey, just to let you know, my dog got neutered." 

In case you're wondering, his eyes are fine-you just can't see them at times.

The Monsters are Gone on Maple Street

 Almost exactly two years ago I wrote about the famous "Twilight Zone" episode, "The Monsters Are On Maple Street" and I asked what if something like that happened in your neighborhood.  This is part of my blog at the time:

"There are 2,000 people every month who move into the Myrtle Beach vicinity and of course tens of thousand of people in the country monthly move into a new neighborhood.  What would happen if a new neighbor was "weird?"  What if the house is mainly just inhabited by teenagers who smoke pot and drive new trucks that are noisy at all hours of the day and night?  What if they regularly have friends over and cars are parked all over the street although there's no parking allowed on the street? Questions could arise like, are they selling drugs, do they have a gun, and what is going on inside the house? Suddenly, people don't feel safe on their own block.  What if trash was being left on the property and suddenly a quiet neighborhood had completely changed?"

This was the beginning of what we experienced in our neighborhood and it is finally over.  It turned out to be worse than we imagined with late night parties, vandalism, dogs locked up and attacking neighbors, a drunk ex-husband driving through the neighborhood and actually having a shooting range facing the whole development and causing minor injuries, yet he was arrested for assaulting a young teacher. I actually complained in person to the HOA one day saying, "we don't know what is going to happen from one day to the next." I came home to find two cops searching the Mom's car!

They finally moved out a month or so ago, but they did it in their own special way. They planned a garage sale and put up signs and then the day came and people came, but they did not show up for their own garage sale. The mother, probably in her mid 30's acted as a teenager throughout the two years, taking no responsibility for her kid's actions. During the last week or so, her next door neighbor saw her in the backyard and waved.  This was the same neighbor who had his wife and son attacked by her dogs and took one of them to the hospital to be treated and sued her for minor injuries.  Instead of waving, the mother gave him the finger and stuck her tongue out at him. The son though, who terrorized the neighborhood with his loud truck, he decided to throw eggs at the same neighbor's house and he was caught on film. It was quite an exit they made.

The son has friends in the neighborhood and does drive through our street, but it's a whole different neighborhood now. It is a relief to so many of us and they immediately made the neighborhood better by leaving.  They may not have been the monsters on Maple Street in "The Twilight Zone," but they made many people on our street miserable and they will never be forgotten.

June Rider Comments

"In 2016 I bought a treadmill for $300 for my wife.  Last year a guy offered me $1,000 for it and I said, "No, one day my wife is going to use it."

Woman: "My grandmother used to say that red lipstick was for whores."

After she laughed when I told her about the guy who said to me, "I hope you're not a narc," the woman told me, "I'm going home to smoke weed and I smoke like a chimney." 

The female professor: "When you go to Hall's Chophouse they hug you and kiss you and it's the most action I get all month."

Young woman: "I think some people get their driver's license out of gumball machines."

Male chef: "when I was in prison years ago I did 10,000 push-ups a day for several months. I carry around a kettle bell that weighs 30 pounds so I can keep exercising."

During the ride I mentioned $10,000 and the five-year old girl said, " $10,000? I don't have any money." When the ride ended the five year-old gave me a $5 tip.  Me: "I thought you didn't have any money?"

She has a very outgoing personality: "I do cancer research, but I miss interacting with people." Me: "You should be an Uber driver for a few hours a week and donate the money to cancer research." Laughing, she said, "you're right, that would be fun."

When I told the older drummer that I once wrote a song about the life of a cigarette butt that I saw in the men's room, he said, "that's genius."

Guy planning a toga party: "You can come if you have a toga."

Male: "Your voice is just like a famous actor who does commercials." Moments later he added, "No, you sound just like my friend who plays the trumpet in the Church band."

"My friend called and he showed me a picture of him taking a blow while he was driving a semi-truck, it was crazy."

Telling the woman I've been married for 37 years and I met my wife at Burger King, she said, "It's nice to hear that your love blossomed at Burger King."

Retired male: "If I wrote a final letter it would be a letter of gratitude and Thanksgiving for all the blessings I've had in my life."

She loves this quote since her nickname is "sunshine:" "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves!"

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and he thinks our relationship is new. I told him that if I can take my wig off in front of him, our relationship is not new anymore."

"I'm a Marine Scientist and when he proposed at Niagara Falls I was very nervous because he was holding the box with the ring upside down near the falls."

Older male vet: "yesterday there was a begger standing right there next to that sign that said, "help wanted." How can you beg for food when there's a job available? I guess I don't know the circumstances."

The male rider apologized for him and his wife on very little sleep: "we're usually a lot more fun, I swear."

After he heard that I write down my favorite rider comments, he said, "I'm feeling a lot of pressure to say something clever." Me: "you just did."

The male Spanish researcher with a thick accent said, "I understand about 90% English." Unfortunately, I was thinking, "I only understand 50% of what he's saying."

Male bartender's past real pick-up line for his wife: "You're out of here, you've had too much to drink. Okay, you can stay, but you have to give me your number."

Male: "When I start to drive I get very sleepy, I never got over a car putting me to sleep when I was a child."

Black male: "When I was a child I was in Exorcist 3 and I still get residuals from the 1989 movie."

"I asked my boyfriend for some trip money and he said, "is that what I'm for, money and sex?" I said, yes, and I'm going to get it as long as I can."

Male from New York on southern accents: "I don't have an accent, we talk right."

Male truck driver who hauls cars: "I just drove 4,700 miles in five days so I could get home to see my daughter's competition."

Female in her mid 20's: "My Mom told my Dad that they had to name me something unique.  My Dad said, "that's it, that's her name." She added, "so I'm Unique and my brother's name is Wulf."

Young man from New York who  details cars: "I have to slow down some here working with people from the south, I don't want to stand out too much."

"I just got a bad, 3 inch cut on my finger from juggling knives. When I was in the military I didn't want any job killing anyone.  I don't know how my soul would take that."

Female server: "My customer ordered takeout and when I gave him the bag he said he changed his mind and wanted it put on a plate to eat here.  I told him I wasn't going to take the food out now and he got angry.  He called a manager and insisted on a refund.  When he got the refund he gave it back to the manager as a tip right in front of me."

"I did not know that the Ravenel bridge was built to look like two sailboats and I give charters every week there."

"The intersection of Lockwood Circle is horrifically laid out."

Male golfer: "Last night was the first time in 16 years coming here my toes have touched the sand."

Nurse in Assisted Living place: "I feel obligated to continue wearing a mask so I don't infect others."

Young woman said she was "going through some things." "I haven't slept in four days."

Young woman from a small town in Wisconsin: "Why do people honk their horn so much here?"

"I met my boyfriend on a podcast.  He's a professional soccer player."

He tells his wife this frequently: "It must be hard for you to be the prettiest girl in the room."

Male Assistant Principal and part-time security cop: "My friends call me Andy Griffith without a gun."

Woman: "He was my neighbor and one day we met after a long period of time and I told him my husband left me.  He told me that I was a smart, beautiful and strong woman and I would be fine and that's how we're together now."

"When the Cavs won their championship, I was five minutes away from my brother.  We put the four kids in the car and drove over there and when we walked in he thought we were a jinx for coming.  My wife has a great picture of the two of us and my two brother in laws on our knees cheering the moment they won it all."

Male: "I'm from Texas and I don't like the Cowboys."

Woman: "I work with a bunch of underaged children."(really adults)

She: "I was supposed to be named Erica, but when I wasn't born on my grandmother's birthday, my parents let her name me Montana. I don't know why she named me Montana."

Young guy: "Pennsylvania is usually dark and gloomy."

As I tried to hand the woman her two bags are hands got tangled and she had one handle of each bag and my hand too.  She said, "I'm holding your hand too, don't tell your wife."

"I started filming and taking pictures of recreational sports and it's turned into a business, because it's something people want.  There was a kid who was being raised by an Aunt and they had him play football.  He was the worst player on the team, but I took a few pictures of him that made it seem like he was catching the ball and they loved it."

Male lawyer from New Mexico: "During the pandemic I was driving into work and there was no one on the road.  The twenty minute trip took me only five minutes."

Woman: "I live in a small town in Virginia where there is no Uber."

Male: "The thing I like best about driving a truck is the freedom and no boss."

Woman: "When I was going to retire my son sent me a questionnaire to find out my interests for what to do when I was retired and he ran them through a computer program, but I don't even remember what the results were."

"To me it seems the economy is always better when Democrats are in power."

"We just drove 900 miles from Indiana over two days on a motorcycle."

Woman who loves the cold: "I'm allergic to warm weather."

"The toughest part of being a property manager is getting skilled help."

 Me: "What's been the best part of your trip here?" Him:(dating for 7 years)  "The beach and her." Me: "Not in that order?" Him: "Right".

Male baseball fan: "That was the most entertaining Uber ride I've ever had."