FINAL 2021 FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS LIST

Two years ago, after my first full year of driving for Uber and Lyft I wanted to do something for my riders for the holidays.  I had been entertaining them with stories and comments from other riders and so I made a list of my favorite comments of the year and gave it out around the holidays into January. The positive reaction I got made me write up a new list for 2020 and I gave it out to many riders the whole year long.

The below comments have been entertaining me and my riders throughout 2021 and this list will be given to hundreds of riders over the next year.  Some of the comments are extremely funny, some are extremely strange and some are both.  None of these comments below were made under the influence of alcohol. I rarely drive at night and only occasionally have a rider who has had too much.     

Thank you to all my riders who made this a great year, especially the riders who made this list.

                                MY FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS OF 2021

"Older man, "I've been married 51 years, my wife says she's been married 61 years because I've made it seem ten years longer."                                 

She said, "Paula Dean has killed more people with her recipes than anyone."

She said, "I'm a terrible driver, but I'm very good at parallel parking.  My Dad says I should stay parallel parked."

The middle aged woman got in my car and less than a minute later I said, "What do you do for a living?" Her: "I'm a whore.... and a message therapist."(joking)

Truck driver from Dallas, Texas: "I tell people that my marriage has lasted 12 years for three reasons: 1. I married my best friend. 2. I know that she's really trying to kill me slowly and I'm not going to make it easy for her.  3. She can leave anytime she wants, but I'm going to go with her."

"My friend knew of a woman who spelled her name Kmnop. She pronounced her name, "Noel", because in the spelling of her name there is no "L".

I told her about my male rider who said at 6 am, "I haven't gone to sleep, I hope you're not a narc." The woman laughed, snorted three times and said, "Sorry, I'm so embarrassed I snorted, but not like the guy did in your story."

Young woman: "I had a male Uber driver who spent the whole 25 minute trip telling me about his Beanie Baby collection.  It was painful.  I nearly jumped out of the car."

Young woman: "I sell shots in a strip club." Me: "Do you get a lot of tips?"  Her: "Oh yeah, I get tipped up the ass." 

Female sales rep: "I was speaking with three sisters from N.Y. and a male colleague was teasing me, one sister leaned over and whispered, "if you need him to be taken care of, I know someone."

He bought me a Gatorade because, "it's important to hydrate." Me: "After I drop you off I'm going to de-hydrate at a gas station." Him: Well, I live on a dirt road and you can de-hydrate all you want there."

Me: "How are you managing the 70-30% ratio of girls to guys at The College Of Charleston?" Him: "It's the best thing in life.  The girls are making us smarter."

"In Minnesota you're nice to your neighbors because if you're not, they'll freeze and die and you might be the next one to go."                                  

Woman: "My grandmother used to say that red lipstick was for whores."

Woman in her late 20's: "I've lived in 63 cities in my life." (military family)

Me: "When the Ravenel bridge was built in Charleston, what was it supposed to look like?" (the answer is two sailboats) The woman in the boating business was not drinking, looked at the bridge and said, "a bra?" 

Female: "I first saw my husband when his picture was in my company newsletter. I told my parents and friends I was going to marry him. When we were dating for two months I said to him, "I don't know what you're doing the rest of your life, but I'm going to marry you." He said, "I'm going to marry you."

Female professor: "When you go to Hall's Chophouse they hug and kiss you-it's the most action I get all month."

Young woman: "I like corny jokes so I got a tattoo, that says "corn" and it's just above my knee." Me: "It says corn?" Her: "Let me show you." Me: "I'm driving, wait till I stop." She does have "CORN" above her knee.(corn-knee)

Him: "You should do Uber at the border, you won't have to travel far.  You can call yourself, "Sunshine Coyote." ( my business name is The Sunshine Man.)

"If you promise not to mug me, I can show you something," She is an employee of The Kansas City Chiefs and showed me her Super Bowl Ring and let me to take a picture of it on my finger. The ring is worth $70,000 now.

Woman in her 20's: "The COVID vaccine is the only vaccine I've ever had. My boyfriend convinced me to get it due to my health. When I was a child my Mom didn't believe in vaccines and she worked in a doctor's office and forged all the paperwork for vaccines."

I picked up an older woman at Outback Steakhouse who looked like Mrs. Doubtfire and she had a large bag of leftovers.  Me: "Don't tell me about your great dinner, I have another hour before I go home to eat." Her: "That's too bad I have a lot of extra delicious ribs that I could share and I love to lick my fingers." Me: "Thanks for not telling me about your delicious meal." Her: "I do have a mean streak."