Woman visiting from Washington, D.C.: "The people down here are very friendly, it's kind of creepy, but a good creepy."
"Sesame Street" and "The Electric Company" are responsible for me having a perfect mid-western accent," he said.
Him: "The women down here are thirsty, that's not what I'm looking for."
Woman: "I met Chipper Jones (Hall of Fame Baseball player, Atlanta Braves) and I would have his babies."
Woman from New York living here three years. Me: "Have you gotten used to how friendly people are here?" Her: "Yes, and I don't like it. I prefer rude people where I can give more right back to them."
Personal Injury attorney: "I was driving over the Ravenel bridge today and my car started shaking. As I headed off the bridge I saw my tire roll down in front of me."
Him: "When I first arrived here from the west coast, I saw a 7 foot gator on the golf course. I picked it up from its tail and it started hissing." Me: "What did you do then?" Him: "I put it down and ran."
I told the guys with young kids that your greatest accomplishment will be seeing your kids when they are in their twenties as young adults. He said, "I can already see my two year-old in pinstripes (playing for the Yankees) and paying for my private island."
Male in his early 30's: "I lost over 100 pounds. I got a stomach virus working in a school cafeteria and then a cold and then I was dehydrated and got pneumonia. I was sick for two months and have never gotten my old appetite back. I can go four days without eating."
Man in his early 50's: "I only eat one meal a day, for dinner. When my body starts feeling sluggish each month, I fast for four straight days only drinking water."
Male in his late 20's/early 30's in sales: "I speak to a lot of important people for work. We have a stupidity problem in this country. I told my wife that I have to make enough money to support the next seven generations in our family."
He said, "They say you want to be sure you marry the right person. We thought dating ten years was the right timing. (getting married in June)
Him: "If you ask any more questions about my job, we're going to have to kill you."
Him: "I crashed my car when I had a seizure." His girlfriend, "I was there and it was terrifying." Him: "it wasn't terrifying for me, I was having a seizure."
He said that as you get older, "you have to get your bones working, if you need to put WD40 on them, do it."
Man in his early 30's: "I'm scared shitless of the ocean. There are things in there that are bigger, faster, and stronger than I am."
She: "My uncle named me "Sexyblack" when I was a child and I still have some friends who call me that."
32 year-old male: "I don't have a lot of friends here, but my buddy from work and I get together sometimes to play cards, smoke cigars, and pretend to be old men, do you want to join us sometime?" Me: "I don't smoke cigars, but I got the old man thing down." (contact me and I will!!!)
The woman said, "I'm friends with Daniel Jones. (The Giant's quarterback) Actually, we dated for two years in middle school. He's a great guy. He liked me when I had braces."
"In school I had a boy in my class whose name was, "21."
Man married six years: "My wife finds me truly riveting." (wife not in the car)
Him: "I used to live in Georgia, it hasn't gotten any better."
"My boyfriend rooms with Dwight Clark's (retired football player) son and I've been able to try on his Super Bowl rings."
Approaching the gate to his complex which was open I said, "the gates open, just the way I like it." He said, "that's what she said."
"A friend told me they knew someone with a first name of "Shark." His last named rhymed with Shark and his parents were hippies."
"I'm a jack and bore specialist (sewer construction). I work 12-14 hours a days for 21 straight days and then I get two days off. I tell people I'm a certified laborer."
The 21 year-old girl was celebrating her birthday and I showed her the picture of my orange car that Ford has finally started building. I laughed when she said, "good for you bro."
Ocean Lakes Campground sells $1 million a year in Blue Bell ice cream."
Woman: "When I win the lottery I'm going to fund my cell phone invention and one day be on the cover of Forbes magazine."
Asking a Publix manager how their staffing was going, he said, "horrible, just horrible, but I'm getting a lot of overtime."
My uncle wasn't working and spent a lot of time hanging out next to a fence. He had to go to court and the judge asked, "what do you do for a living?" He said, "I'm just holding and leaning."(on the fence)
Talking about her boyfriend who is shorter than she is, "I do love that little man." (dating 5 months)
Girl: "I met Mathew Stafford(football player) and Clayton Kershaw. (baseball player) Kershaw gave me my first beer when I was 14."
18 year-old male: "I found out that life is expensive."
Male: "Cleaning the walls in the showers at work I think my arms grew three inches."
Me: "Have you gotten used to how friendly people are here?" Woman: "ugh, I was so put off by it."
The male chef said, "when you gave me your list of comments a few weeks ago, I hung it near my bed and each morning I read one to get my day off to a good start."
She is a Molecular Scientist who has been in the field for 15 years. She: "I've been working the past two years on the PCR testing(nasal swab) for COVID and travel all over training people."
The former military guy was going to the Veterans Administration to get help for his drinking. "I need to stop drinking for my wife and kids. Last night I got snookered and walked into a wall and I have to get my bad eye checked out too."
His mom, Sylvia, ordered the ride and I told him that Sylvia was my Mom's middle name. He said, "Sylvia is my mom's maiden name." Me: "her name is Sylvia, Sylvia?" Him: "No, I mean it's her first name." (My wife later told me that my Mom did not have a middle name, and my sister told me she didn't, but my Dad wanted her to and he made her middle name Sylvia)
Woman: "We heard there was 3 feet of snow in the mountains of North Carolina so we rented a cabin there. It was literally up a mountain and the roads were really bad. We were driving a Cadillac Escalade and he had the the kids and I walk up the road because it was so dangerous. All the neighbors were watching him and they wanted to hook our car up in case he fell, but he made it."
ABOUT UBER RIDES SPECIFICALLY NOT JUST MINE
IT salesman and frequent flier: "I've had a few drivers start my ride early and then call me asking my location. I tell them I know what you're doing and I'm going to report you. I cancel the ride and report them."
Male: "In Switzerland a lot of the Uber drivers act like they don't want you around."
She: "My Uber driver said that she can make $1,200 a week driving."
She: "I know it's going to be a fun night when I'm in an Uber."
Me: "Have you ever gotten a gift from an Uber driver?" Her: "Yes, my ex-boyfriend was an Uber driver and he gave me gifts."
Him: "You have 6,000 rides and a 5.0 rating-I've never seen that! Me: "I'm the only one."(I really told him there are others)
My first ride of the year at 5:30 am New Year's morning I took a young couple to the airport. We arrived 15 minutes before the flight was leaving. They explained, "we had three drivers cancel on us, one was a mile away." The ride paid well, they tipped, but the next flight was five hours later.
After handing me a $100 bill, I tried to refuse it, but he said, "You're the best Uber driver I've ever had. We were just hoping someone would pick us up." (Early morning after several drivers said no)
MORE COMMENTS
"I love Mount Pleasant, I think it will be my final destination."
From Ohio: "We come here for the southern hospitality."
Male pilot: "I enjoy driving in snow because it's a challenge."
Woman: "My three sisters and one brother, we all have first names that begin with "Z."
Male: "My name means God's gift in Arabic."
Female: "My name is Eastern European and it means, "born in July" or "curly", but I'm neither."
"I hope your next rider is as interesting as I was." (they weren't)
She said, "technology is where all the possibilities lie."
She: "Working with animals is so rewarding, I wouldn't give it up for anything."
"My friends call me Cream which they got from me playing a song a lot that my brother used to play."
Picking her up around 7 am Sunday morning she said, "I'm not going to be able to make my brunch at noon at Halls. Me: "You can't not go to Halls for a Sunday brunch, I heard it was great." Her: "You're right, I'll go." Getting out I said, "Eat something for me."
The second person that day said, "you sound like comedian Norm Macdonald." I'm not sure how to take it, he was funny, but a Canadian with a little accent, and a few months ago he passed away at the age of 61, my age. (my wife says it's not the sound of my voice, but how I talk)
Me: "What are you up to today?" She: "I'm going to clock in?" Me: "You're going clacking?"
Resident doctor from LA.: "Everyone I know is getting the virus."
Looking at my NY caps on my dashboard he said, "you just became my favorite Uber driver."
Male: "I can't sleep 8 hours and keep my body stationary-I need to keep moving. I usually get 3-5 hours of sleep."
Telling the rider that my wife likes to sleep with a fan on and bundle up in blankets, he said, "I could never understand why people do that, she should just cuddle up with you."
She's in customer service and she said, "the rich and snooty live in Mt. Pleasant."
Another woman from New York: "People are not as nice up there."
When I gave the man formerly in the Coast Guard a mask to wear, he said, "thanks for being Semper Paratus." (in Latin means always ready)
She said, "I don't like negative energy."
One day when I was younger someone threw sand at me and it got in my eyes, part of the reason I wear glasses. Many years later my sister told me that she threw the sand."
Him: "I moved down here for the free babysitting." (Mom and Dad)
After telling the rider that my blog is called, "Becoming a Southerner," she asked, "are you a southerner yet." I replied, "no, I'm probably not that close to it."
Male: "The best way to describe Charleston is-hot and flat."
Him: "It takes thirty days to get rid of a parasite. It's not fun."
I told the guy who stocks the shelves in a Lowes overnight that most people never think about how all the shelves get stocked. He said, "it's not that they don't think about it, they don't care."
The woman remembered me, "weren't you the driver who told me that I could be your GPS for the ride?" I said, "yes, but I say funnier things than that." (she laughed)
"My Mom and I have a tradition of walking the Ravenel bridge early in the morning on my birthday. The only problem is it's early in the morning and I'm not a morning person."
When I told the Navy Cadet that I keep track of my favorite rider comments, she said, "I do too. I walk around with a notebook and right down the witty things people say."
I told her that her comment just made my list of memorable comments for the month. She said, "I'm thoroughly honored."
Me: "Do you like sales?" Her: "It depends on the day."
Me: "Do you enjoy being a franchise owner?" Him: "Most of the time."
Attorney: "I help people, not insurance companies."
She: "I'm outspoken and I know what I know and I know what I don't know. I like my job because I can be me."
She: "When I worked in a bank one of the board members of the Steelers gave us tickets twice. Once, I got to see a Super Bowl ring up close."
She said, looking at my set-up in my car, "I like your schtick."
"I don't miss being a crane operator."
He said, "I'm a conservative by birth."
Woman: "I can't go back to Michigan and live with my in-laws again-it's not good for my mental health."
I told her about the parents who named their child "Kmnop" which is pronounced. She said, "her parents set her up to be bullied."
"They weren't super-jacked about winter in New Jersey."
21 year-old female bartender from South Carolina: "I spent a year in Iowa-it was too liberal for me."
"You're the best Uber driver I've ever had."
After giving them my list of Favorite Comments for 2021, she said, "what a great way to start our vacation."
After telling him about by blog and list of favorite rider comments, he said, "that's fucking genius."
She: "You're going to be famous one day. You should make up buttons and give them out to your riders."
The 37 year-old man got out of the car thanking me and said, "you're an inspiration, you don't have to here."
The 21 year-old male said to me, "do you have any life advice?"
After giving them my list of Favorite Comments for 2021, she said, "what a great way to start our vacation."
I was taking her to the liquor store. Her Dad called and she told him she was going to the gym. I told her when she got off, that this is some gym you're going to. She said, "I really am going to the gym, it's the second stop." When I gave her my list of comments, I wrote on the back, "she really did go to the gym."
"My friend was stuck in the snow on 95. It took 12 hours to go 11 miles."
Showing her my wife's picture, the hair stylist said, "she's beautiful, I love her hair."
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