How Does A Dog Pee in A Hurricane?(A must read)

There are thousands of dog owners who know the answer to this question, but I was not one of them.  The night before the storm, last night, I asked my wife this since I've only had a dog for 18 months.  She said, "I'll take him out when it slows down." I've delivered newspapers in a hurricane and I'm pretty sure hurricanes do not slow down for bathroom breaks. Also, I do remember that singer, Jim Croce, once said, "You don't spit in the wind," and I think it's safe to paraphrase and say, "You don't pee in a hurricane." However, my wife is usually right, so we'll see.

The fun began later than usual since my wife and Odin, our dog, slept late. Odin went over to the door and he was genuinely scared at what he saw outside.  The rain and wind was loud and I knew I wasn't going out there, he was.  He rang the bell signaling us it was time. My wife had the idea that the patch of grass we had in the garage might work since it was really pouring.  She put the grass in our shower and then we got Odin to go into the shower, the picture is below.

No matter what we tried, we could not get him to go.  Part two of the plan was to just take him outside and have him go quickly. She got him out there and he was scared and not interested and I helped dry them when they got inside. He seemed to be okay, but we knew he really had to go.  We tried again to use the grass, but it wasn't working.  He wasn't impressed with it.

I got on the treadmill and I started laughing.  I wanted to take a shower after the treadmill, but now the shower had grass. I couldn't really take a shower on it, could I? Would Odin like the grass better if it was wet? My second option was to just go outside for 5 minutes, (Fully clothed of course) and that could be a shower. The third option would be using the other shower and that made the most sense.

Suddenly, my wife came towards me and she was laughing.  I thought she said that she wanted me to go into the first shower(With grass) and pee a little and show Odin that he could pee on there too. I had just peed and now I was feeling some pressure, but not in the right place. I drank the rest of my water bottle and made my way to the bathroom.  Odin was following me and I think I was singing, "Potty time, potty time, for everyone, it's potty time." 

I walked into the shower, stepping on the grass and dropping my shorts. Odin stopped at the bathroom door and wouldn't come in and he ran away.  I tried to get him to come in and watch, but I guess he knew better and wanted nothing to do with the show.  Here's a picture of him turning away from the bathroom.

I was really ready to go and wife told me that she didn't want Odin to watch, she wanted me to pee a little and then have him smell it. She walked away and I tried to pee a little bit, which isn't really that easy for a guy to do.  Mission accomplished and she brought Odin in for the "Smell test." It was pretty fast and he really had to pee a lot and he probably figured, "I don't what this is, but it smells funny, but this must be a popular place to pee."

So now I know, a dog will pee inside if you pee on grass in your shower. Is this really what thousands of dog owners are doing today?

Sunset in The South

With a hurricane making it's way towards South Carolina (We're only getting heavy rain and winds Thursday night and Friday, so we'll be fine), I thought it would be a good time to talk about the great weather we have.  I've been amazed at the sunrises I've seen, the thick and unusual clouds and also some unbelievable sunsets.  A helicopter pilot once told me that when you see an orange sky, a storm is coming. I'm sure somewhere up north you can get skies like this, but I don't know where.

The last two nights in Myrtle Beach and Pawleys Island, (Just south of us), the sunsets have been stunning, but maybe stunning isn't incredible enough of a description.  Many people took pictures and posted a slew of pictures online, some which did not look real.  Below is exhibit A., the large ferris wheel in the downtown area of Myrtle Beach.  If this doesn't make a cover for a tourism brochure, someone is not paying attention.

Just a routine, normal, purple, sky picture can't compare to the ferris wheel above:

I saw this sky driving home through Pawleys Island and I would have taken a picture, but I thought I heard one of my daughters yell out, "Don't take a picture when you're driving!" The voice came hundreds of miles away and since I was on a bridge, I did not take this one either.  You are not going to see a more beautiful sky than this. I think my orange car probably looked even better with this as a background.

And finally, a picture that does not look real and would make an incredible framed picture in someone's living room instead of a television set. Can you imagine looking at this picture every day in your living room? 

By the way, I didn't write this blog for you, I just wanted to see how great these pictures looked in my e-mail when I got this blog.  

Thirteen $5 Bills

Another blog about cash? Well, it could have been about chicken, but it is cash again.  Last week I blogged about the number 13 not being unlucky and the other day the number came up again.  I went to get an oil change for my wife's Subaru. The last time I went there I brought cash and they took it, so I brought some cash again.

As I sat in the waiting room I figured I would straighten up my wallet and when I opened it, this is what I found below:

                                                    

I always keep a few $5 bills in my wallet so I can give change to a rider for tips, but somehow I accumulated thirteen of them. Six of them is plenty, but I guess I got some $5 bills for tips and I didn't empty my wallet.

When it was time to pay for the oil change, I used the coupon my wife gave me. Of course this was good and I was spending less cash which is sort of a hobby for me now.  I forgot what happened last time, they don't have cash right there, because very few if anyone pays cash. The guy said he has to go to the next building to get my change and about five minutes later he returned and I left.

Next time I have to bring cash and change. Sometimes, it's really hard work being a consumer.

The Funny Rider Stories In September

I thought I'd break up my stories this month since there were a number of good ones and a number of amusing ones.  Below are the amusing ones:

RIPPING A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL IN HALF

Sometimes you just can't make this stuff up, things happen on a ride that cannot be easily explained.  I picked up two guys from Canada who were here to golf and I immediately talked to them about the beautiful Canadian bill that I just hung in my car from another rider. One guy told me that the bills are amazing and they are almost impossible to rip unless they already have a rip. He took a $100 bill out and was going to give it to me to try to rip it.  His friend said, "Don't give him a $100 bill." I told him I was driving and before I knew it, the other guy took the $100 bill from his friend and very easily ripped it in half. After we stopped laughing the first guy said he would go to a bank at home and get it replaced.  How did the other guy rip a bill that was supposedly impossible to rip? I have no idea, but the picture is below and the story is already getting a lot of laughs in my car.

THE CHICKEN DANCE

The woman I was driving to her job at the deli in a Lowe's supermarket, told me that her very busy store has a "chicken bar." There's rotisserie chicken, fried chicken, and who knows what other chicken. Three times a day the rotisserie chicken comes out after being cooked and an employee comes out and does a chicken dance to music.  She does this frequently and customers take pictures and sometimes do it with her. They had a Disney executive come in and tell them they should do this so their customers enjoy, "A shopping experience." They also announce when the fresh bread comes out.  I told her I'm going to stop in and I hope I can get a picture of her doing "The chicken dance." Maybe, I'll even join in?

THE GHOSTBUSTER

In 1984 the movie, "Ghostbusters" came out starring Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd and it was a big hit. It's about chasing ghosts and capturing them. My rider is a consultant for legal firms around the country, but his passion is searching out spirits in bars and restaurants and it's not the spirits that you drink. He is a "Lead Investigator" of the paranormal and has a podcast and blog called Ghost&Grub and there's a YouTube show also. He told me that he's been in contact with over a hundred spirits and, "Many of them are grumpy because they are not happy where they are." He said that we can't hear some of the voices, but he has recorded them on a tape recorder and has had conversations with many of them. I've never been a believer in ghosts, but he was very convincing. I was amused and entertained and he was very interesting to talk with. 

SINGING INSTEAD OF TALKING CHICKEN

I have picked up the woman who is a server, on several occasions. The first time was when she was getting a rotisserie chicken and wasn't going to finish it. I told her to give me a call and I'll pick up what she has left.  Last month she told me that she has taken up the hobby of singing and she enjoys it. I told her that I've written a lot of "songs" and I wrote an "Uber song". She convinced me to sing it which I never have to a rider and I did it for her. She said she liked it. This month, I got my revenge. Since I sang to her last time, it was my turn to hear her voice.  She agreed and sang a song in Spanish which she said was a love song. Her voice is better than mine, which is no surprise to my wife and kids.  Maybe next month we'll do a duet?

TALKING CHICKEN AGAIN

She had no idea what she was walking into.  At dinner time, she got off work from Church's Chicken and tried to get a ride with a chicken lover. I didn't see the bag of chicken, but I smelled it right away. I said, "You can't come in here with a bag of chicken!, " I said.  I told her some of my "chicken ride" stories and had her laughing when I zeroed in on her bag. I said, "How many pieces are there?" She told me to guess, that it was for a family. I said, "Don't tell me there's ten pieces in there?" She confirmed it and told me there were three in her family. I said, "That leaves you with one extra piece!" When I dropped her off, I continued to make her laugh by saying, "You have to walk up a flight of stairs. With one less piece to carry, it will be easier to carry." She promised me a piece the next time I picked her up, she'll be laughing the next time too. I didn't tell her I turned down some wings from a rider that afternoon.

Who Said "13" Was Unlucky?

I read several articles today that were about a rare feat that occurred yesterday. For the first time in 13 years, these four New York sports teams won on the same day. The Yankees, Mets, Giants, and the Jets won their games and it hasn't happened in a very long time. It's a great story since several of the teams have not had winning teams, so it's fun for New Yorkers and New York sports fans to experience this.

There's only one problem, it's not as rare as it sounds. Missing of course from the stories I read are these facts: the baseball season ends for the Yankees and Mets at the end of September, unless they make the playoffs. September is the same month that the football season starts for the Giants and Jets.  Also, the Giants and Jets typically only play on Sunday, so over the last 13 years, the teams may have played on the same day only 50 some times. It's true that 1 out of 50 is pretty rare, but saying it's 1 out of 13 years makes it a much bigger deal. I've discussed many times with my children and my riders who are into numbers, anytime someone uses numbers, you have ask yourself, "Does the numbers really mean what they say it does." In this case, the numbers are accurate, but it's not as big of a story as they are saying.

In this example, the number 13 turned out to be lucky, but there are a lot of people in this country who think "13" is bad luck, maybe as many as 10%.  I got engaged on a Friday the 13th, so I am not superstitious with 13, but why is it considered unlucky? Why is it that this superstition with this number is only in this country? (In Asia, the number 4 is supposedly bad luck)

Apparently, it has to do with two ancient events.  At the Last Supper the 13th guest was Judas Iscarlot, who betrayed Jesus.  In Norse lore, evil was first introduced in the world by the appearance of the treacherous god Loki at a dinner part in Valhalla and he was the 13th guest which affected the 12 gods who were there.

Today in this country, many tall buildings and hotels do not have a 13th floor, due to this superstition and many places avoid using the number 13 on rooms.  However, there is no scientific evidence that there is anything bad or evil about the number 13. Although, I do remember that in the old television show, "The Munsters", they lived at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. I don't think I would live there and I don't like the numbers either. (The Munsters and their house are pictured below)

                            

                                    

More images

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Chicken and Waffles

Yesterday, I took a big step into becoming a southerner.  Other than grits, I think the most popular southern food is, chicken and waffles. My favorite food, as you know, is chicken. It might seem odd that almost five years living in the south I have not tried chicken and waffles, but this is easy to explain. I don't believe I've ever eaten waffles.  Maybe when I was a kid I tried them and didn't like them, but I've never had the urge to eat them. I really don't like the way they look.

Our daughter and son-in-law were visiting yesterday and my son-in-law ordered chicken and waffles and encouraged me to taste them.  Below is a picture of his plate before I tasted them:

To be honest, it looks pretty good because there's a huge piece of chicken on top. If the waffle was on top of the chicken, it wouldn't look as appetizing. The plate itself looks good and the syrup is okay, but the waffle? If the waffle was a fancy plate, sure, I'd be fine with it. The chicken tasted great and I would have had no problem eating two pieces of chicken. The waffle, not so good. It was better than cardboard, but not as good as french toast. Together, if you had a a big piece of chicken and a tiny piece of waffle in your mouth, the chicken would block out the taste and I would be fine. I didn't like the combination and have no idea why other people like it.

My breakfast was pretty simple, as simple as you can get:

I'm a simple guy who likes simple things.  There wasn't enough syrup, but the two pancakes were good. It doesn't look as good without chicken, but I would eat them separately, not together. Chicken and pancakes would not work together either. (But it would look better)

The big news of the day was, I spent some cash and they accepted it. Below is the cash I spent and it was the beginning of a big cash day.

They even gave us a discount of $2.31for using cash-imagine that! Wouldn't it be great if everyone did that?

Finally, the cash-filled day ended in a humorous way. I went to pick-up food at a restaurant, something I do very rarely. Unlike the rest of the world who orders take out all the time, we get pizza or Chinese food once in a while. When I paid cash, the girl behind the counter asked me, "Do you need the change?" I said, "Yes," and then I paused and said, "I don't need it, but I'll take it." It was 61 cents and I couldn't understand why she was asking that way. My wife and daughter explained that she was asking for a tip, but it never entered my mind at all. I felt like I was picking up a pizza and I was just so excited to be spending some cash. I could have spent a couple more dollars in cash and I completely missed the opportunity!

The DMV-Southern Style

I remember going to the Department of Motor Vehicles in New Jersey many times. Typically, people dread going to the DMV due to how long it takes to get done what you need done. For an area of the country that is fast paced, the DMV doesn't move like most things move in the northeast.

However, in the south, everything is the opposite.  This is an area of the country that is know to move slowly to very slowly.  One rider memorably told me, "Even the fast food isn't fast here." Another rider from Minnesota told me recently, "The difference between Minnesota and here is that in the south it takes you 12 minutes to get a cup of coffee." I often say that it may take me 10 years living here to get down to the pace of the south and I'm almost half way there at least in the number of years.

I have visited three different Motor Vehicle Offices in the south and they were all remarkably efficient. The employees are very friendly and visiting is not something to dread. This past week I went in to see if I could replace my license plate because it started to peel off and it was difficult to read.  I got pulled over and given a warning, so this was something that I had to.

It was busy, but everything was moving quickly, which you don't always see down here. A guy came out and asked what I needed today and gave me a form to fill out.  A few minutes later my number was called and I went up to the counter. Unfortunately, they could not give me the same plate number, so I got a very new replacement sticker for the corner of the plate which has my renewal date. My talented wife cleaned the plate up and put on the new sticker and it looks great.

What did the sticker cost? It was only $6 and as I reached into my wallet to PAY CASH, the helpful employee said, "I can get this for you for free." I asked how and he said, "I know how to use the computer." I thanked him and walked out of the building shaking my head.  It took about twenty minutes and even the government would not accept my cash. Below is the picture of the $6 I was not allowed to spend. So, if you need to go to the DMV, go south!

NEWSFLASH: WE GOT A TV!

BREAKING NEWS FROM MYRTLE BEACH: Jeff and Monika Hoenig, who have owned a house here for more than four years, finally got their first television in the south. Below are pictures as the television set arrived at their home.

 

REPORTER: Jeff, how did this finally happen?

JEFF: About a month ago, we decided we were going to get a television in the near future, but a few days ago we changed our mind.  We decided we can wait longer, it wasn't a big deal.

REPORTER: Yet, there it is, what is that?

JEFF: We got a great deal on this.  A few years ago, we bought a small television for $10 for my mother-in-law, but she said it didn't work and just gave it back to me.

REPORTER: What are you going to do with it? 

JEFF: Well I'd be interested in testing it out to see if it works, but my wife said, "It's crap."  It's an Insignia and from selling televisions a long time ago, I know it's not the best brand. Besides, there is no remote which would be a problem I think.

REPORTER: So, you're going to recycle your first television?

JEFF: It looks that way, unless my wife changes her mind.  By the way that's a great picture with the flag.  I had a rider just this morning who said, "It's unamerican to not have a television." There's proof that I have a television, today.

REPORTER: When do you think you're going to actually watch television in your house? 

JEFF: Well, first we have to sell the couch and get a television stand and maybe get cable.... Well, 2023 is just around the corner, that could be the year!

My Currency Museum

 My dad, who we lost about a year and a half ago, worked for twenty plus years for The Federal Reserve Bank in New York. Being in Public Information, one of things he used to do is give tours of the gold vault and my sister and I got a tour when we were kids.  I think he would have gotten a kick out of this blog.

A couple years back I had a rider who was a secret agent.  He worked for our government and helped our embassies, "Get done what they needed to get done." He had visited over 100 countries and said he was "semi-retired." During the ride he slipped me a $500 bill from the South Sudan where he had been recently. He said it was the newest country in the world, about 10 years old at the time.  The bill was only worth $3, but it looked pretty cool and I hung it up in my car, because a lot people don't get to see foreign currency.  Some riders took pictures of it and shared information with me about the country.

Earlier this year, a young rider gave me bills from Malaysia and Myanmar, which used to Burma. I put them together and hung them near the bill from the South Sudan.  Below are pictures of the three bills.

This past month for some reason, things have gotten out of hand.  Riders have been giving me bills as if they were donating to a museum. The young kid from Honduras was so exited to give me his bill, I didn't notice that it looked brand new until he was out of my car. Maybe he printed it that morning? Unfortunately, the pictures do not do the bills justice, since I put them in a sandwich bag to protect them.

Below I have an Indian bill with Ghandi and below that a Bulgarian bill that I was told was worth $5. On the right side is a Jamaican bill that a woman from Jamaica saw during the ride and shrieked and she actually scared me.

The most amazing bill is the Canadian one pictured on the top of a bill from Thailand.  There is too much glare on the right side to see the clear part of the bill on the right side of this.  It's worth at least a couple dollars, but I think it's too nice to give away even to buy something.

How will this end up? I have no idea, but it seems that others want to contribute their own foreign currency.  Sometimes other riders think that these are places I've been to, so I'm going to have to let them know that they came from other riders. I like giving riders something different and now I have a lot of things for them to see in my car.