The Funny Rider Stories In September

I thought I'd break up my stories this month since there were a number of good ones and a number of amusing ones.  Below are the amusing ones:

RIPPING A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL IN HALF

Sometimes you just can't make this stuff up, things happen on a ride that cannot be easily explained.  I picked up two guys from Canada who were here to golf and I immediately talked to them about the beautiful Canadian bill that I just hung in my car from another rider. One guy told me that the bills are amazing and they are almost impossible to rip unless they already have a rip. He took a $100 bill out and was going to give it to me to try to rip it.  His friend said, "Don't give him a $100 bill." I told him I was driving and before I knew it, the other guy took the $100 bill from his friend and very easily ripped it in half. After we stopped laughing the first guy said he would go to a bank at home and get it replaced.  How did the other guy rip a bill that was supposedly impossible to rip? I have no idea, but the picture is below and the story is already getting a lot of laughs in my car.

THE CHICKEN DANCE

The woman I was driving to her job at the deli in a Lowe's supermarket, told me that her very busy store has a "chicken bar." There's rotisserie chicken, fried chicken, and who knows what other chicken. Three times a day the rotisserie chicken comes out after being cooked and an employee comes out and does a chicken dance to music.  She does this frequently and customers take pictures and sometimes do it with her. They had a Disney executive come in and tell them they should do this so their customers enjoy, "A shopping experience." They also announce when the fresh bread comes out.  I told her I'm going to stop in and I hope I can get a picture of her doing "The chicken dance." Maybe, I'll even join in?

THE GHOSTBUSTER

In 1984 the movie, "Ghostbusters" came out starring Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd and it was a big hit. It's about chasing ghosts and capturing them. My rider is a consultant for legal firms around the country, but his passion is searching out spirits in bars and restaurants and it's not the spirits that you drink. He is a "Lead Investigator" of the paranormal and has a podcast and blog called Ghost&Grub and there's a YouTube show also. He told me that he's been in contact with over a hundred spirits and, "Many of them are grumpy because they are not happy where they are." He said that we can't hear some of the voices, but he has recorded them on a tape recorder and has had conversations with many of them. I've never been a believer in ghosts, but he was very convincing. I was amused and entertained and he was very interesting to talk with. 

SINGING INSTEAD OF TALKING CHICKEN

I have picked up the woman who is a server, on several occasions. The first time was when she was getting a rotisserie chicken and wasn't going to finish it. I told her to give me a call and I'll pick up what she has left.  Last month she told me that she has taken up the hobby of singing and she enjoys it. I told her that I've written a lot of "songs" and I wrote an "Uber song". She convinced me to sing it which I never have to a rider and I did it for her. She said she liked it. This month, I got my revenge. Since I sang to her last time, it was my turn to hear her voice.  She agreed and sang a song in Spanish which she said was a love song. Her voice is better than mine, which is no surprise to my wife and kids.  Maybe next month we'll do a duet?

TALKING CHICKEN AGAIN

She had no idea what she was walking into.  At dinner time, she got off work from Church's Chicken and tried to get a ride with a chicken lover. I didn't see the bag of chicken, but I smelled it right away. I said, "You can't come in here with a bag of chicken!, " I said.  I told her some of my "chicken ride" stories and had her laughing when I zeroed in on her bag. I said, "How many pieces are there?" She told me to guess, that it was for a family. I said, "Don't tell me there's ten pieces in there?" She confirmed it and told me there were three in her family. I said, "That leaves you with one extra piece!" When I dropped her off, I continued to make her laugh by saying, "You have to walk up a flight of stairs. With one less piece to carry, it will be easier to carry." She promised me a piece the next time I picked her up, she'll be laughing the next time too. I didn't tell her I turned down some wings from a rider that afternoon.