Working in the old age home she said, "The oldest person we have is a man who is 108 and he drives his own truck every Sunday and just got a girlfriend in church."
"I'm selling my blood for $600 a month and my rent is $1,000 a month, I'm almost living off my blood."
Him: "My little boy told me that I was better than a cartoon parent."
Woman living in Los Angeles: "I don't use rideshare in LA, I'm cheap. I don't drink so I'm Uber for my friends."
The CPA said, "Figures don't lie, but liars can figure."
"There's a Facebook site for women at the College of Charleston and it's called, "Are you dating my boyfriend? You have to be approved to get on it. I saw my ex on there, but I didn't make a comment."
Woman: "My 70 pound dog picks his own bandannas to wear."
Cancer doctor: "I have two sons in LA., one is successful and the other is an actor, he's still on my payroll." Me: "I guess he doesn't do any acting for you."
The 25 year old woman said at 8 am Saturday morning, "I'm going to stop partying tomorrow."
Picking up a young guy heading to work I said, "Sorry it took so long, there's a lot of traffic." Him: "Really?" Me: "It's 4 pm on a Friday in Charleston, where have you been? " Him: "Jail."
When she found out that I write about stories riders tell, the young woman who had been drinking said, "If you want a sex story, I'm about it." (I wasn't)
She: "When I was in third grade there was a contest to draw a picture of the Ravenel Bridge which was about to open. I won first place and I rode in
The young woman said, "I want to go on a cruise, but I'm afraid of water."
I was performing bluegrass music with a band for a State Department cultural program at an upscale ceremony in Saudi Arabia when a very official looking guy came over and asked, "Do you know "Country Roads" by John Denver?"
She had been drinking, but she was discussing what would happen if she got in a fight, "I would probably get in a fetal position and suck my thumb."
She: "I do hair and make-up." Me: "I really don't have either of them." She: "It's never too late to use make-up."
She said, "When I was in 3rd grade I entered a contest where I drew a picture of the Ravenel Bridge and I won. I represented the elementary school and there was a winner for middle school and high school and I rode with them over the bridge in a limo on opening day. The limo then drove me to school."
She: "My dad is inappropriately funny. He says things that other people are only thinking and people laugh."
Talking about Ghandi my rider said, "Isn't he the guy with the bald head and robe?"
The New Yorker who owns a fish company in Ecuador said about the pandemic, "It was the hospitals that killed people."
She: "I like to be happy, doesn't everyone?
The store manager of grocery store said, "Customers don't want to be happy."
He said, "Kansas City is great place to grow up and also to move away from."
Him: "I once did a charity event where I was bartending with boxer Joe Frazier. I wasn't too happy that we had to share tips with him."
She had problems yesterday with her Uber driver who would not pick her up in the next parking lot and would not wait for her to walk to her, instead she canceled the ride. My rider, a former Lyft driver, said, "I still love Uber."
Telling the accountant that she had a gift being so good with numbers, she said, "It's not a gift unless I'm helping people."
The young man told me that, "A beautiful girl" is interested in him, but she's in a long distance relationship with, "A big guy." He said, "You only live once." I told him, "However, you do want to live, right?"
Guy from St. Louis: "Some people have actually asked me if I've gone into the ark?"(It's an arch)
I asked the couple who had been married 36 years, "What is the secret to a successful marriage?" He said, "Don't worry about nothing. If you're working seven days a week and doing everything you can, it will work out."
The CFO of a national company(35-45?) was telling me about all the offices they have and that it keeps him busy, "It keeps me off the streets and out of trouble."
She: "If I'd have my druthers, I'd never drive again."
Woman: "Adults only laugh about 4 times a day and kids laugh about 400 times a day."(It's actually 17 and 300)
The older woman was not happy with how she is aging. She said, "As men get older they look more distinguished."
The couple from Arizona told me, "We go to Hawaii when we go on vacation."
Him: "I worked deeply undercover for many years for the Department of Justice, specializing in saving North American women from human trafficking."
The man with Stage 3 Degenerative Heart Disease said, "I refuse to bend to this disease."
A Marisa said, "I didn't like my name when I was young, because I couldn't pronounce R's."
He said, "We help people get out of their timeshares. We've helped 550,000 people in the last seven years."
She told me, "I love the title of the book you're writing, it could be a movie and you could play yourself."(imagine that)
The GM of a Ford dealership told me, "The most new cars we've had on our lot is 27. It hasn't been getting better."
New York City Transit supervisor: "Assaults are up because people are pissed."
She's a big Disney fan: "I used to take my ten year old out of school early and fly to Disneyland without plans."
I asked the hotel executive, "How's the hotel business these days?" His answer, "Profitable."
Female bartender: "We give people our energy."
She: "Latrobe airport in Pennsylvania has free parking."
Australian woman from LA: "When I get out here it so calm and relaxing."
She: I've been a wedding florist since I was 15 years old."
She: "Even the Uber drivers here are friendly."
He works with Pepsi and says, "They are still stuck in their own ways."
"I work as a Director of Public Engagement for a museum in LA."
5th grad teacher: "These days they have an attention span of nil."
I asked the couple dating how they met and she said, "I was getting a tattoo from my cousin who was learning how to do it and he walked in the house with a beer, I didn't pay any attention to him." He added, "I got a beer tattoo and now sometimes she pays too much attention to me."
He is a Boston Red Sox fan: "I missed my flight in the airport and I was upset, but I saw David Ortiz there. I went into the bathroom and he was standing at the urinal. I didn't say anything then, I waited until he was leaving."
Female bartender: "One night as I was leaving I warned the other bartenders about this guy who needed to be shut off. The next day I found out he wound up in the parking lot harassing girls and then shot himself in the hand. I really dodged the bullet."
Big Chicago Cubs fan from Chicago: My sister and brother-in-law won a raffle the year the Cubs won for World Series tickets. They paid $1,400 for four tickets. I offered $1,000 for one ticket and they turned me down. They sold them for $14,000 each."
She said, "This is the coolest car I've ever seen. Get some more bills for me."
"You put a smile on my face. I just hope I meet you again."
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