MY FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS IN OCTOBER

She got out my car at 12 noon after a 3-mile ride and handed me $20, "This is for not murdering us. I have a fear of Uber drivers." Me: Thank you, but you're wearing a black, Friday the 13th shirt-I should fear you."

I told the above story two weeks later to two women on a four-mile ride, getting out of the car she said, "I'm looking forward to reading your list, thank you," and handed me a $20 bill. Me: "Is this for not murdering you?" She replied, "Yes, and opening the door too."

Riders have given me currency from their country and I had 12 bills on display in my car. A woman saw the Indian bill with Ghandi on it and said, "I love Ghandi. Would you be willing to trade it for Argentina and Italy?" I traded Ghandi.

Later in the day I told two couples that I traded Ghandi and a guy said, "My mother wouldn't have traded Ghandi."

I was surprised that the outgoing woman was a librarian. She said, "I'm the kind of librarian that my kids say to me, "shhhhhhhh."

I told the woman from Chicago that she had a great personality and would be a terrific Uber driver. She said, "I hate to drive, but if there was a job looking out the window at things, I love doing that."

Woman in her 30's: "When I was 3, I had a dream that I was eaten by a chocolate kiss and I became an almond-my parents laughed their asses off."

The head football coach of a USFL team live in Dallas. I asked him, "Are you a Cowboy fan?" He said, I don't root for them, but if they played ISIS I would."

He explained, "In high school I worked very hard to lose my virginity with my girlfriend, but it just didn't work out."

Looking at her teenage daughter's choice of a Halloween costume, she said, "It was a sexy nurse costume with big boobs and she doesn't have any."

She told me, "I cured myself in six months of having severe anxiety by eating small doses of psychedelic mushrooms."

The black woman said she could teach diversity at companies, "Just pay me all the money and I would go in and play the video of, "Walk This Way" by RUN DMC and Aerosmith."

Couple: "We lived in Hawaii for 6-7 years and just moved to Montana." Me: "Why did you move to Montana?" She: We're not very smart." 

Growing up in LA, she said, "You know mobility is big issue there, so when you turn five, they give you a car." 

I "rescued" the married man early in the morning from a multi-million dollar house from a lonely widow who he drove home because she had too much to drink. He said, "I put her to bed. She wanted me to get in bed with her. She was beautiful, but I told her I had to go."

Getting in my car the young woman said, "I need to either get more boyfriends or more money."

After looking at many places in Florida for a house, the New Jersey couple arrived in Myrtle Beach.  He told me, "We got out of the airport and my wife said, "I love it." When we were driving to the sales appointment, she said, "Are you feeling it?" They are moving here in two weeks.

Picking up two young women downtown around 6:30 am Sunday morning, I asked, "So what are you two up to this early." She said, "We were just out for our one time all year." Me: "Can I have that in writing for your parents? I thought maybe you were going to church this morning."

After telling the guy from Maine that another Maine rider worked 20 hours as a farmer when the weather was good, he said, "And there was still time to mow the lawn."

He told me he was in Wealth Management, but to me it sounded like "Wolf Management," which I didn't understand. He said, "It's really the same thing."

I asked the couple who knew each other for 20 years, "How did you two meet?" He said, "I used to sell weed to her ex-boyfriend."

Most southerners hate cold weather, but this guy said, "When it gets cold, I'm in love."

When she turned 40, "I decided to have 40 drinks over a number of days and I did the same thing when I turned 50."

As she got in my car she said, "I'm here." I said, "I'm here too." She replied, "It' a good thing, I don't think it would be good for a ghost to drive me." Me: "The day before Halloween wouldn't be a problem."

I asked him, "What do you do for work?" Him" "I do what other people won't do."

Male: "My parents told me that I wasn't raised to bitch and moan. If you have a problem, solve it."

Male: "Life hasn't started taking shit away from me like my memory and health."

Me: "How did you decide to move to Hawaii?" Him: "One day I just got up and said, Why don't we move to Hawaii and buy a coffee shop?"

The young couple met in a bar and I asked the guy, "Did you have a pick-up line?" He said, "She wanted to bring me home the first night."

Engineer on a 118 ft. boat: "I lost my sailboat in Key West during the last hurricane. It just disappeared."

The four guys in Charleston had been drinking on a boat. Arriving downtown one of them said, "Look at that truck, it's got no tires and it's up on blocks-we should steal it." I said, "If you do, I'm going to take a picture of you doing it and hang it up here in my car for everyone to see."

She said, "I was on a cruise in Morocco not long ago and the people there didn't want us to be there. They were throwing rocks at us and the police had to escort us."

Telling her about the rider's comment that Paul McCartney, "Is the only 80-year-old man I would trade for my 60-year-old man," she said, "I prefer George Clooney." She also knew the month and year he was born.

From New Jersey, he told me here in South Carolina, "My friend made about $500,000 last summer selling shitty food."

The woman edits rulings from The Chicago Supreme Court and said, "My husband used to write some of them that I edited and I always tried to find something I could correct so I could tell him I did it."

I asked the 11-year-old girl as I picked up her heavy suitcase, "What do you have in here?" She: "Bricks."

The articulate woman who was a hair stylist explained that, "Writing is a love language. When you have the gift of writing you're touching people with words."

"My husband and I had an Uber driver who told us that the government was trying to kill us through the weather. I was scared of her."

I asked the guy who does Uber Eats, "How do you like it?" He said, "It doesn't talk back to you and doesn't get sick in your car."

The male Uber driver in Charleston told me he once had a 45 minute ride with an 18-year-old who was full of it and told him he just got out of jail. "Halfway through the ride he told me his arm was bleeding on his shirt. He said he was a rapper, but he was terrible. I put on some music and rapped a lot better than him."

                                                                SOME MORE COMMENTS

I told the guy in his 20's that my earlier rider was doing a half marathon and she's running in every state in the country, he said, "It doesn't sound very appealing."

Woman who is a college graduate: "Becoming a nanny is the best decision I ever made because I love it."

She: "I've been a Wedding Florist since I was 15 years old."

The English woman said, "If you ever go to Britain you have to go to Liverpool, it is the best place in the country, the people are wonderful."

I asked the two women from Massachusetts, "Are you Red Sox fans?" We're more football fans. We're not retired yet and baseball is more of an investment of time."

 Woman: "Selling cars was the worst job I ever had and the most money I ever made. The managers were mean and humiliating to everyone."

Him: "When I was a kid here in Myrtle Beach, I put laundry detergent in the hotel fountain and there were a lot of bubbles."

The woman told me, "I'm not funny on demand."

He: "I was at a "Meet and Greet" with my son to hear Brian Cashman, the General Manager of the Yankees talk. Afterwards I met him and he handed me his World Series ring and let me try it on."

Getting a job when he was homeless, he said, "I wasn't going to take no for an answer."

Beginning his training in the Navy he said, "We're usually closed off from everything for 16 hours and then we get back to the real world and find out what's been going  on."

Arriving without clubs at the golf course, the New Yorker said, "We're just going to throw the balls around today."

She: "My sister's name is Sibikaia, which means the seventh child."

"Oregon has the best drivers in the country, they are always driving the speed limit."

She said, "Anxiety is my co-pilot."

Him: "I'm a supply chain consultant. The computer chip shortage we had was because one of the two biggest manufacturers in China had a fire and their plant was destroyed and they couldn't rebuild it during the pandemic."

Male truck driver: "A guy in our office said he talks to hundreds of drivers each month looking for a job, but they only hire about two a month. They prefer drivers who have a history of being with companies for awhile."

She: "It's a pretty good business decision to be out driving early on Sunday."

Seeing my sign, "If you can't find the sunshine, be the sunshine," the woman said to her husband, "That's our motto."

Young woman just sitting down in my car, "This is the coolest car I've ever seen, can you always drive me?"

Me: "What do you do for work?" She: "I answer e-mails all day." (Customer Service)

She said, "I feel like this ride was meant to be."

She said to me, "I wish we could put you on speed dial."

The young woman said, "Working at Murphy's (the gas station/convenience store), it's not really all that it's cracked up to be."