How Do You Eat Stew?

One day after I posted a blog on "How Do You Eat Soup?", I found myself sitting at the dinner table eating beef stew.  I was finishing up the delicious meal when it occurred to me that stew and soup are not only both four letter words, but you eat it the same way.(I think)  

I asked my wife of almost 40 years, "Do I eat stew loudly?' She said I did, but after so many years she doesn't hear it anymore.  I couldn't believe it, stew too! So, I tried several different ways and apparently it is the slight sound of a slurp that is noisy.

I have been getting up early in the morning when everyone is sleeping for years and I am always very quiet so I don't wake anyone up at 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, 6 am, etc.  I am convinced that if I ate soup just outside the bedroom door no one would hear me, yet, at the dinner table it's noisy?

When I asked Mr. Google can you eat stew quietly? The answer was, "What does stew quietly mean? Be in a huff, be silent or sullen."  That's not what I'm talking about!  Here are some instructions in case you need help on how to eat stew:

"Step 1: Take bowl of stew and keep it on a plate. Put the spoon on the plate. (I like to keep the spoon in my hand.)

"Step 2: Stir the stew to cool it gently. Don't ever blow on spoon to cool stew or blow trhe stew in the bowl. (I don't cool it off-I LIKE IT HOT-it is stew!)

"Step 3: Put spoon in the bowl and fill it. Move the spoon away so that the stew doesn't slosh on your lap.  Touch the spoon gently on bowl's rim to discard dripping before taking it to the mouth. (Takes too much time-shovel it in.)

"Step 4: Sip the stew quietly from side of the spoon." (How quiet?)

"Step 5: Tilt the bowl and scoop the remaining stew away from you when little is left. (I'm going to get it all.)

"Step 6: Place the spoon on the plate when done. Never let the spoon touch the table cloth after use." (We have a table cloth?)

 I can't wait to practice while I finish the stew tomorrow.