"My wife had to kiss a lot of toads before she found her prince, I married the first person I kissed, I didn't think it was going to happen again."
She: "I once had to borrow my stepfather's hearse to go to work. I stopped at a McDonalds and ordered two cheeseburgers at the drive thru. The cashier asked, 'Is there anyone in the back?" I said, 'That's why I ordered two cheeseburgers.'"
The very busy executive now retired, he said, "I didn't watch TV for thirty years. I didn't even know what ABC and NBC were."
He: "My dad had hands like a dinner plate and fingers like sausages and he taught me about the laws of physics."
The Research Farmer who lives in Charleston said, "I own farms in South Carolina and Oregon. I've driven 2,8000 miles to Oregon seven times by myself."
The woman from Minnesota said, "I'm a lawyer and a Danish Knight. I'm an Honorary Counsel to Denmark and I'm going to be officially knighted in a ceremony soon."
Guy in his mid to late 20's: "I'm a compulsive liar: "When we go to Halls (Steak house in Charleston), we always celebrate an occasion to get a free bottle of champagne. The last time we were there, we celebrated my fifth promotion. (The same one)
Male: "My mom named me "One" because I was her first son. My middle name is Alexander, so I am
'One Alexander.' If I have a son one day I want to call him, 'King Alexander.'"
My dad never told me about the four rings or marriage: the telephone ring, the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering." (Married 42 years)
The young woman said, "I keep having a recurring dream that I am eaten by a prehistoric animal."
At 62 he was married when he was 20 and he has two children around forty years old. "On our honeymoon, my wife's antibiotics messed up our family planning."
"My friend named his son, 'Sir James.' When he was in school and a teacher called him James, he would tell them his name was 'Sir', not 'James.'"
The young, female Zamboni driver, who had a couple drinks, jokingly said to me, "Don't F_ _ _ with me, I'm from Buffalo, New York."
She: "I was going to be a realtor or a brain surgeon." Her sister, "Our mom told her she was going to be a brain surgeon from the day she was born."
She knows a woman who is 106 and the woman said to her, "I didn't get to be 106 by accident. It was from eating well and being active."
I said to the young guy, "All the money you see came from my riders." He said, "You mean motorcycle riders?"
The two sisters said that they were the funnier one. I asked the older sister to tell me something funny and she said, "Can you see my sister's face in the rear-view mirror?" They both broke up laughing, but there was nothing funny about her sister's face-she could have been a model.
I told a nurse and her friend the story about how the Trauma nurse released the stress from her job. She would finish her shift and go into the parking garage and in her car take off her badge and her bra. Her friend said, "That's what I do when I get home from work." I laughed and said, "Thanks for sharing that," and she replied, "If you wore a jockstrap all day, you would take it off immediately too."
The woman staying here in the South temporarily after a big break-up, said, "I'm not a techie. I need to get a husband to do these kinds of things for me." I told her that my wife is my techie and I pointed to her picture on our business card and said, she does a lot of those things for me and we've been married almost forty years." She said very enthusiastically, "I could be a sister-wife!"
The woman from Texas said, "I have a sign in my bedroom that says, 'Even when it's cloudy I still believe in the sun.'"
Commenting on her size, the woman said, "I'm naturally insulated."
She: "If I could eat sushi all day, I would."
Describing how she looked, she usually explains, "I'm naturally insulated."
She: "As a bartender I've been able to network and I have gotten a doctor, lawyer, plumber, and mechanic."
Me: "I know not to ask a woman how old she is, how old were you last year?" She: "25, no, I'm 28 now."
I think he was joking about Kentucky when he said, "I thought it was odd to have grandparents who were first cousins, until it me that in Kentucky your choices are cows, corn, coal, and cousins."
Woman from Maryland: At the very beginning of the pandemic I was in a Dicks Sporting Goods store with my son and I got a call from the Department of Health. My son's French teacher was exposed to the virus and they wanted to know where he was. I told them he was with me and they told me to get out of the store immediately."
She: "South Dakota is like heaven on earth, it's the most beautiful place in the country."
Me. "You majored in Finance and Psychology, how did you get to that combination?" Him: "I like money and I like people, people are weird."
She said, "I was really surprised when I got in a Uber and the single mom had her infant child in the back in her car seat sleeping. She said she couldn't get someone to watch her."
She: "Mom's always believe in you."
Two minutes into my first ride of the day early in the morning with three young guys, one guy on the phone with a friend, said the words, "Orgy" and "Gang bang" in the same sentence. Another guy said to me immediately, "How's your first ride going?" I said, "It's pretty exciting."
In the Philippines we have only two seasons, wet and dry."
Young woman missing living in New York, "I miss pizza the most and the chinese food."
The woman, who moved from London to Summerville, South Carolina, said, "I learned it's okay to take your time.
The young woman from Boston in Charleston for a baccalaureate party was surprised when another young woman in a restaurant actually yelled at them, "You have to be nice here, because you're in the South."
The retired Italian chef and food executive said, "I've lost 65 pounds in the four years I've been in South Carolina. I don't like any of the food. I used to be a big boy."
The woman from London said now that she's living in the South, "I miss the simple daily things I did in London and the food."
The retired guy from New York said, "Every woman deserves a gift."
From the north and living in the South, he said, "If someone doesn't like it here, they should go back to where they were."
I explained to the young guy that I accept all rides and he said, "It takes a special kind of person to take a chivalrous way of going about the business of picking people up."
She: "I can tell that you really enjoy what you do."
He: "You're the most entertaining driver I've ever had."
She: "You were delightful."
She: "This was the most wonderful Uber ride."
She: "Thanks for the museum"
The future doctor, she said: "You were amazing."
He: "This is the coolest Uber I've ever been in."
She: "I'm a fan of yours, you have the best attitude."
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