Feeling Like a Kid at Home Depot

 Last week was the 44th anniversary of the first two dates my wife and I had in New Jersey.  Even after 44 years, there are things that we think very differently about, like Home Depot.  My wife loves shopping and is a terrific painter and can put together just about anything. When she's in Home Depot she is a kid in a candy store. 

On the other hand, I dislike shopping immensely and I have trouble putting together two slices of bread for a sandwich.  Being in Home Depot for me is a kid saying, "Can we go home now?"

This is a sample of some of the things we thought about but didn't say, last Thursday when we went to Home Depot after going out for breakfast.

ON OUR WAY TO HOME DEPOT:

MY WIFE: I can't wait to get there and see what they have.  I have my list-this will be fun, fun, fun!

ME: I wonder how quickly we can get out of there. Can I tell her I'm going to stay in the car? Maybe I'll say I'm not feeling well?

WALKING INTO THE STORE:

MY WIFE:  I wish I could spend an hour here, there's a lot more things we need.

ME: At least we have Home Depot stock. There is nothing here to look at, it's just a bunch of stuff.  Wait, I recognize something, that's our new electric lawn mower that I just used for the first time.

BUYING PAINT

MY WIFE: We need to get the paint so when we go home we can empty most of the garage and I can re-paint the floor now that my car isn't there.

ME: We have eight cans of paint in a closet, can't we use one of those? Probably not, but the woman at the counter said we can come back after we finish shopping to get the paint! Do we have to? That is great. Why is it every project I don't want to do starts at Home Depot?

BUYING DIRT

MY WIFE: I need more dirt to plant more things-more dirt, more dirt.

ME: We have a backyard filled with dirt, why do we have to buy it? When we get home I have to bring it to the back. Thank god there's only one bag and it's not mulch.

AT THE REGISTER

MY WIFE: If I could just spend thirty more minutes here.  He looks bored out of his mind, at least he came in with me.

ME: At least it didn't take an hour, I couldn't take much more.  I probably should have stayed in the car. I can't believe she really enjoyed this. I do enjoy seeing her happy. Maybe if she wants to go back to Home Depot next year I'll go with her again.