MARCH RIDER STORIES FROM MARCH

It was an unusual month to say the least.  I drove for Uber/Lyft only on three days and here are my three favorite stories:

THE DON JUAN OF CHARLESTON?: It was unfortunately a short ride.  The College of Charleston has a very unusual ratio of 70-30 women to men.  I have a lot of fun talking to men and women about what life is like on campus.  I asked my male passenger how he was managing with the 70-30% ratio of women to men.  He may have been joking, but his answer was, "I have five girlfriends, I'm doing the best I can to keep everyone happy."  He was very entertaining and I guess it's possible he was being serious, but I'll never know.  He said there's a saying in Charleston, "you can't love them here."  Just before I dropped him off he showed me a picture of a pretty girl and said it was his girlfriend. "She wouldn't give me the time of day at most schools, but here it's slim pickings."  I told him he should stick with one girl, but he didn't show me pictures of the other girls, if there were any.  I'm pretty sure he's enjoying college.


SHE BOUGHT AN ISLAND:  My rider did not buy an island, but her great grandmother did.  In the 1940's she bought an island that wasn't very large, I think 13 acres.  She paid $30,000 which at the time was a very large amount.  Her husband at the time wanted to know if she could get her money back, but she made it work.  She started her own restaurant on the island and it is still very popular today.  My rider helps run the restaurant with her Dad.  There are only a small number of houses on the island and most of them are owned by their family.  Today the island is worth a lot of money and they've turned down offers in the past.  I think her great grandmother made a good investment.



THE PACEMAKER SALESMAN: He started working as a nurse which he did for five years.  He had an opportunity to go into sales due to his outgoing personality.  He supervises five other sales people including having his own territory.  When he sells a pacemaker he has to be in the operating room when the pacemaker is put in, something I would definitely not want to see.  I picked him up to take him to the airport to go back home to Ohio.  He was in South Carolina to pick up a little puppy for his two boys.  I could tell he was successful due to his outgoing personality.  Sometimes you just don't know where a career will lead to.

My Favorite Rider Comments For March 2020

It was a very short month and I drove only three days, but this is what my riders said:

I asked the retired professional race car driver, "what's the best thing about being a race car driver?"  He said, "I survived."

Speaking on the phone he said, "she was hot, we had fun. I'm probably embarrassing myself in front of my Uber." Me sitting next to him: "No, I'm not listening."

Me: "You can sit in the front or the back." Rider: (choosing the back) "I want to be like Driving Miss Daisy."

Older female rider: "I still have a potty mouth."  The customer said to me in the hotel, "Why is that F'N door always locked."  "I said, "because the F'N door is supposed to be locked."

When asked how he was managing with the 70-30% ratio of women to men at The College of Charleston, my rider said, "I have five girlfriends, I'm doing the best I can to keep everyone happy.  This girl(showing me a picture) wouldn't give me the time of day at most schools, but here it's slim pickings."

One girl in her twenties said to another girl, "Did you see her ring? It's huge and it cost $30,000. Who would want to put a $30,000 ring on her finger?" The other girl replied softly, "I would."

"My rental car was stolen.  I left the keys in the car and the car unlocked."

"I only had five hours of sleep." Me: "I had less than that." Rider: "Yeah, but I had alcohol and sex."

"There's more to do in New Jersey than there is in the Charleston area."

(well known phrase) "God gives it's toughest battles to his strongest soldiers."

"The people in Washington D.C. are awful.  They are stuck in their own bubble and can't even discuss things they don't agree with."

"I decided to become a nurse after my Dad's heart attack.  I was impressed with the nurses who helped him."

Looking a my brochures of the area in the back car, my rider said, "Do you give tours also?"

Me: How are you handling the 70-30% women to men ratio at college?" Male Rider: "I'm taking full advantage of it."

"I don't make the best choices every day."

"My friend was from out of town and an attractive woman approached him and asked where he was staying and he said, "Tin-ton Falls."  He didn't know the pronunciation and he asked the woman where she was from and she replied, "Eat-ton-town."

(about the virus)  "It's like when they predict a blizzard, people go nuts.  With this it's a hundred times worse."

"I just came back from Alaska where I was helping a friend re-model his kitchen for the past two months.  It was ten below zero there, but we had a great time fishing, hunting, drinking-doing Alaskan-shit."

Me: "Are you in sales or management?" Rider: "I run the company." (well known company in mid-west)

(From New York)  "When I saw all the people out and in the restaurants yesterday, I thought it was irresponsible."

Am I A Jogger Now?

How many times do you have to jog before you're considered a jogger? Last Sunday I went out for the first time.  This morning, Saturday, I went out for the second time and jogged? If I go out tomorrow morning and DO IT AGAIN, does that make me a jogger?

Some questions you may or may not be asking: (I'm interviewing myself)

Are you serious? No, I'm a little crazy right now. I'm out early every morning, so not going out early is uncomfortable.  It fits in with losing weight and I always wanted to try it.

What did you really do? I walked and then ran and then walked and then ran and walked and then ran.  Then I turned around and headed for home and walked and then ran and walked and then ran and walked until I got home.

How long did you run? I was gone only 30 minutes, so I'm guessing I ran 15 minutes?

Are you going to get some running shoes instead of the old things you're wearing? I was thinking about it.  How little can I spend? If I do, would I then be a jogger?

How did you feel about doing it? It was a beautiful morning and I did get down the road faster running. I did feel good getting some exercise, I'm not sure I'd say it was fun.  It was okay.

Is this something you're going to continue when you start driving on the weekend? I don't see how since I'm gone very early, but maybe during the week if I have an early day and it's not too hot out, and I have a light dinner, maybe after dinner? Nah-it's not very likely.

Maybe, when I retire one day I'll take up jogging for real, maybe.

THERE'S A RUN ON COCOA KRISPIES!

Not to make light of shortages, but I know that there are many people who are running short on paper goods, especially toilet paper.  I've actually been delivering toilet paper to some houses which I never thought I'd be doing. Delivering to hospitals and businesses makes a lot of sense, but to individual homes?

My favorite cereal is Cocoa Krispies and I knew I was running low. I was in two Wal-Marts that had cereal, but not my favorite cereal.  I could have bought Jolly Rancher cereal or Hershey's Kisses cereal, both I've never heard of before.  It reminds me of my favorite name for a cereal, Best Friends.  When we were vacationing in Hershey, PA many years ago, we saw that ridiculous name in a store.  Let's face it, if you're eating Best Friends for breakfast, you have a real problem.

Back to my Cocoa Krispies-I was down to about two bowls.  Do I start using smaller bowls to stretch it out? How many supermarkets do I visit to find them? Fortunately, I stopped at a Krogers supermarket today and I found that they had Cocoa Krispies-what a relief.

Last night we were taking a "social distancing" walk with our friends around the neighborhood and they said they were down to one hot dog.  I suggested they put a sign on their house, "We're down to one hot dog."  I thought it would be funny to see that and I would put a sign on our house when my wife wasn't looking of course that said, "I'm almost out of Cocoa Krispies!"

I'm good for at least a couple more weeks.

How Do You Jog?

I know, some of you hipsters and younger people are saying, "people don't jog anymore, they run."  Well, I crawled before I walked and there's no way I'm going out to just run.  I've never run before, other than playing tennis or basketball or any sport.  I see people running all the time and I've wondered, would I really like that? I love walking fast, this is just a little quicker.

Starting the beginning of this month I decided to lose 20 pounds in the next four months and then July and August to celebrate my 60th birthday I was going to eat some of my favorite foods and not worry about gaining weight.  That may not sound like a great plan, but I'm doing it.  I'm down 6 pounds and I'd like to drop a few more by the end of the month.

To prepare for this I considered jogging, but when would I do it? I'm up too early and go into work too early to jog before work and having a physical workout before doing a physical job doesn't really make sense to me.  When I get home, that really doesn't work either.  On the weekends I get up early and I drive for Uber/Lyft the full day, so, I decided to skip that idea.

Out of nowhere(China) came this virus crisis and I'm now not driving on the weekend.  Today was the day to actually go out and jog.  Did I have the right outfit, of course not.  Did I have the right sneakers, of course not. Did I stretch before I went out exactly the right way, of course not.  I'm not big on doing things "the right way" (I'm passing on the political joke), however, I did go out and jog today.

About 7 am. when there was some daylight I went outside.  It was cool this morning so I wore a sweatshirt on top of my shirt and shorts.  I walked some, ran some, walked some, ran some-you get the picture.  It was cool enough where I had to run, but I stopped when I wanted to except when I saw the street sign that said, "slow down."  I figured that really was a sign for me, so I stopped right there.  I may have been gone a half hour and it was okay.  It was more exercise than walking and it felt pretty good. Will I do it again? I think I will.  Maybe when I retire I'll jog regularly, or maybe I'll run.

"Not My Circus, Not My Indian"

Obviously, these words are not mine.  However, they are southern.  One very nice woman who I deliver boxes and supplies to, is teaching me "how to be a southerner."  She said she would only charge me $100 an hour and I told her I would go for the "dribs and drabs" method. (not sure if I just made that up or there is such a thing)

What does that phrase, "not my circus, not my Indian" mean?  Basically, it means that you don't want anything to do with whatever is going on-I'm not involved.  It's a pretty unique way of saying that and it is amusing.

Today, when I delivered to her, she was on the phone with a patient.  She told her patient that the delivery guy was here and, "we're buddies."  We do seem to laugh a lot when I deliver and I fondly call her, "my favorite Morris."  Not that her name is really Morris, but let's say it starts with a "M".  The phrase reminds me of the old television show, "My Favorite Martian."  I think she likes that greeting.

Since she was on the phone I couldn't ask her for another "southern phrase," but I will next time.  I think I'll start teaching her "northern phrases."  I have to come up with a good one before I see her again.  I use the phrase, "it's not my first rodeo," but that can't be a northern phrase, probably a "western phrase."

Just wanted y'all to know I'm still working on, "becoming a Southerner."

"It'll Be Fun!"

One area of my mouth was sensitive and I waited, because I didn't want to go to the dentist.  The discomfort didn't go away so I reluctantly called the dentist.  The office is about five minutes away so it's convenient, if I'm home.  I couldn't get an appointment later in the day for a couple weeks.

Yesterday, I went to the appointment. The dentist is a very cheerful, positive guy, very hard not to like.  He saw that my crown was missing and had to be replaced.  Boy, was I happy! Of course the cost was more than a couple cavities, but what can you do?

He asked if I had 30 minutes or so that afternoon and he could take care of it and give me a discount.  The word discount probably made it sound better, but I said okay.  He told me that I needed to go into the other room and then he said, "it'll be fun."

Having work done in the dentist office is about as far from fun as you can get. But, I am trying to have more fun this year, so I figured I'd give it a shot.  When he numbed my tooth, jaw, tongue, and anything in the vicinity, I felt the needle go in.  When he took it out I said, "was that the fun?"  He got a good laugh out of that line.  That was the only fun on the visit, seeing him laugh.

My best line came when he said to me, "what toothpaste do you use?"  I replied, "red."  I thought he was going to fall on the floor laughing.  He wants me to use just toothpaste with flouride and nothing else.  I don't know what the toothpaste name is or what's in it.  I'm pretty sure there's no coffee ice cream in it, but I didn't say that though.

So, next time you're going to the dentist office, expect to have fun.  I don't think that advice will help you much, but give it a shot.  You never know.

The Simple Steps On How To Kill A Fly

The flies may be bigger in the South, but you can still kill them the same way.  I've been killing flies for a long time, but this is the first time I've put these simple steps into writing. (If you're in California and are offended with the death penalty for flies, you may just want to lure the fly to an open window or door)

Step #1: Get the fly into a small room preferably the size of a bathroom. (a closet would be perfect but it may be too dark to see)

Step #2: Take your shirt off to convince yourself and the fly that you are serious. (women may pass on this step)

Step #3: Choose your weapon.  When I was younger I would always go for the fly swatter. The advantages are that it's made for killing flies and also it is very quiet when you take a swing at the fly.  I like grabbing something larger like a rolled up newspaper or magazine.  It's bigger so you feel more powerful and it gives you a bigger area to hit the fly.

Step #4: Identify what kind of fly it is-energetic or lazy. The energetic fly will go at crazy speeds right in front of you and go back and forth.  The lazy fly is either hungry or has given up after seeing your shirt come off.  It flies a little bit, but spends more time hiding from you.

Step #5: Watch your prey.  Where does it like to go? Does it have a favorite spot? That is the spot that you can kill it.

Step #6: Do not give the fly a way out.  Don't keep going in and out of a door, keep in contained in the room.

Step #7: If it's flying quickly in the middle of the room, take some wild swings.  It'll be fun and you'll get a lot of practice in.

Step #8: Most flies are killed when they are just sitting there, so wait for the right moment.  Keep your weapon at your side and bring it slowly to wear you can take a strategic strike.

Step #9: The end: Success is sweet and when it is hit and dead, it's time to take a picture and sing, "Ding Dong The Fly is Dead."

Step #10: Deposit the dead fly it in the toilet and flush.  Don't give it a chance to come back to life. 

Step #11: Put your shirt on, your mission is complete.

The large fly got into our house yesterday.  This afternoon I got the fly into my office and watched it bouncing all over the place.  I knew it was in it's last hours.  I saw it a couple times near my blinds, so I waited until it was behind the blinds and hit the blinds several times.  The blinds survived, but  the fly was dead-mission accomplished.

I Just Met Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton or Theodore Roosevelt!

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am not making it up.  Can you really have a better day than coming home and meeting a former president? Of course, I didn't really meet a former president, but someone who was named after a former president.  Still, I got a kick out of it and it made my day.

So which name was it? I've been told by a reliable source that you're not supposed to use someone's real name or give out too much information that people will know who you're talking to.  I think it's a little much, but I figured I would play along.

When I arrived home the other day, my wife was on the driveway talking with our next door neighbors and someone I didn't know.  He had a dog (almost everyone does here), so naturally the dog was playing a little with my wife.  She may know 10-15 dogs by name in the neighborhood, which may be more than the names of people I know living here.

I was introduced to the man who was either Asian or an African American, who was retired from the Air Force or Navy after 20 plus years.  He's from San Francisco or Los Angeles and he's trying to adjust to being a southerner.  He asked us why so many people were waving at him when he sat on his driveway.  "Why are all these people waving at me," he said. I told him we should get him one of those fake hands and he can just pick it up when people go by.  He wanted to know if people would think he is "stuck-up" if he didn't wave.  We told him that they probably would think that.  He's used to living in a city, so living in suburb is quite a change.

He's a big San Francisco Giant fan (baseball) or is he a Los Angeles Dodger fan? He's also a history buff and we started talking some history, which immediately bored everyone else.  I'm looking forward to talking history and sports with my new neighbor, who of course was named after possibly the most unique President we've ever had. (but which one was it?)

February 2020-My Favorite Rider Stories

THE FIRST TIME GRANDPARENT:  It was 6:30 am Sunday morning and the woman ran out to the driveway to greet me.  She was very excited.  Talking in a loud voice she told me her daughter was having a baby in Maryland two days earlier than expected.  She had to get her dog to the "dog place" and then she had to get to the airport. We loaded into my van the dog, the dog's bed, the dog's food and her big suitcase.  She was getting texts from her daughter at the hospital on how far apart the contractions were.  I was driving, trying to keep her calm and hearing the play by play from the hospital.  As we pulled up to the airport the daughter was giving her husband the phone to continue texting, because she was going to start pushing.  The new grandparent was on her way to see her first grandchild and she was still very excited when I left her at the airport.

THE PRESIDENT OF THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION(AMA): It was a long ride to the airport and I had a great time speaking with this woman.  She is halfway through her one year term as The President of the AMA, which is an association that is almost 175 years old and it's purpose is, ""To Promote the art and science of medicine and the betterment of public health".  She is the first African-American to be elected to the office.  She had to campaign for it by interviewing and by debating her opponent which was an hour long session of answering questions by a panel.  "I became a doctor(pediatric) because of the television show Marcus Welby MD.  I was impressed with how he cared for his patients and his community.  People discouraged me, but Marcus Welby made the difference."  We discussed medical shows on television and the opiod crisis in this country and how we're making progress.  She was inspiring and she was a real professional who was delightful to talk to.

MINI-GOLF GOES MINNESOTA WILD(Minnesota's hockey team are the Wild)  My early Sunday morning ride to the airport with two couples from Minnesota, provided me with a lot of laughs for the day.  I was talking about all the mini-golf in Myrtle Beach when a guy who owns a beer distillery said, "I've always been disappointed in mini-golf."  I told him years ago I had an idea to have a History Mini-Golf where every hole was one or two big moments in American History.  Someone suggested(probably him), what about Beer Mini-Golf?  We talked about that each hole would be a different kind of beer and if you get a whole in one you would get a cup of that beer.  It was at that moment that the discussion really got out of hand.  The same guy said, "I've thought my whole life about Stripper Mini-Golf." It wasn't a long life since he was young, but there was talk of a pole and possibly having to remove clothing also.  Fortunately, I arrived at the airport shortly afterwards.  I told them that if I heard about any of these new golf places in Minnesota I would know exactly who started it.  We were all laughing as I dropped them off.

THE PUBLIC SPEAKER FOR WOMEN'S ENTREPRENEURSHIP: She was my first ride early in the morning and I hit the jackpot.  In her late twenties she travels around the country promoting women's entrepreneurship.  "I was an awful employee, my mind just works differently."  For her first 2 1/2 years she didn't pay herself anything while she built her business. "I ate a lot of eggs, that's what I could afford."  She was helped a lot by Ivanka Trump's organization that promotes women's entrepreneurship.  Her association with them though cost her some speaking engagements, including one at Cornell University.  She travels extensively to speak at colleges and women's organizations and conferences.  She also coaches woman entrepreneurs in Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina.  She told me, "I'm not big on the victim mentality that some people have.  Today, it's easier now than ever for women to start their own business."

THE ALMOST PILOT: She was going to be a lawyer and takeover her Dad's law office eventually.  When she was in high school she took a ride in a small plane and could not stop talking about it.  She decided she had to become a pilot.  "I moved from Minnesota to South Carolina so I could get more hours in the air."  She's six months away from having enough miles to work for an airline and she's very excited about it.  She's been a flight instructor and in Minnesota she was a nanny and a Lyft driver to pay some of her bills.

THE DEDICATED WORKER:  We've all worked with people who have trouble getting to work on time. Some people are just always late or they just aren't reliable, my rider was remarkable.  At 41 years old he was working at a Longhorn Steakhouse and he was making quite an impression.  He was re-starting his life after making a big mistake as a kid and spending a number of years in prison.  He had to get a starter's permit since his driving records were too old, so he rode a bicycle to and from work.  He rode it about 90 minutes each way, six days a week and on some days he worked over 12 hours. Trying to be optimistic, I said, "at least you get some good exercise."  He replied bluntly, "it sucks."  When he had major problems with his bike, the managers at Longhorn all chipped in and bought him a new bike.  There was heavy rain the night before so he took an Uber home and I was bringing him to work.  I was impressed with his attitude and of course his work ethic and it looked like he had turned his life around.

SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY: On back to back days I got to sing to passengers celebrating their birthday.  On a Saturday morning, a Dad and his 9-year-old son were in my car and the Dad said it was his birthday.  I asked the birthday boy if he wanted me to sing Happy Birthday to him and he said I could.  The Dad wanted to know if I was a singer. When I said I wasn't, he joined me in singing to his son.  The next day a Mom and her 7 year-old daughter were in my car and after hearing it was the girl's birthday I told her about the 9 year-old boy the day before. She was a little shy, but eventually said I could sing it and her Mom joined me.  I told both kids that this will probably be the only time their Uber driver will ever sing "Happy Birthday" to them.

THE IMMIGRATION LAWYER:  She had been in the field in New York City for only four years, but she was obviously very dedicated and very bright.  Our conversation was about how things have changed the past three years with the new administration and how broke the system was.  She was not a fan of how it worked now, because she said it was unfair to people.  However, she did say that if it continues, "eventually we will be able to get through the backlog of cases."  She said there were no easy solutions and the problems have existed for a long time.  I'm certain she's going to continue to do the best she can for the people she represents.

February 2020-Favorite Rider Comments

My rider showed me a picture of his wife and when I showed him a picture of my wife, he said with a thick British accent, "Our wives have something in common-they have abominably poor taste in men."

"When my Dad was in college he requested New England Patriot tickets just for fun and was put on the waiting list.  Almost thirty years later they called and he got tickets.  I was in high school and I was the coolest girl in school and all the guys wanted to date me."(big smile on her face as she twirled her hair)

"Our husbands are so needy.  They don't even know how to feed themselves when we're away."

(6:30 am Sunday) "I haven't gone to sleep yet.  My "bro" and I met two girls and I'll let you use your imagination."  Me: "Do I have to, I am driving."

"My Dad is an Urologist.  He got in an Uber and the woman was upset that her husband got a vasectomy and she just got pregnant.  My Dad realized that the vasectomy was done in his office, which he didn't tell her.  He looked it up later and found out that his colleague did the procedure, but the husband never came back for a follow-up appointment to make sure everything went okay.  It was his fault."

"I can't tell my girlfriend this, but a few years back I made out with Jenna Bush, George W. Bush's daughter.  The Secret Service wasn't happy about it."

"I've always been disappointed with mini-golf, but I've thought my whole life about "stripper mini-golf."

"When my uncle and aunt married they made a compromise.  He was a die-hard Red Sox fan and a Christian and she was a big Yankee fan and Jewish.  It was so important to my Uncle to rais his kids as Red Sox fans, he converted to Judiasm and they live in New York with two kids who are Red Sox fans."

When I asked the young attorney to explain to me exactly what the very popular South Eastern Wildlife Expo was in Charleston, he said, "it's great, there are a lot of exhibits, shotguns, girls, and alcohol."

"I became a doctor because of the 70's television Marcus Welby Md. in the early 70's.  I was impressed with how he cared for his patients and his community.  People discouraged me, but Marcus Welby made the difference."

"My Dad has 24 brothers and sisters all from the same parents and I must have 1,000 cousins.  I just want to go somewhere where no one knows me."

"Do you have any advice on how to find a rich guy in New York City?"

(On the phone) "If you know where we are, come get us-I'm cold."

Wife: "Don't listen to the backseat driver." Husband: "Don't listen to her, listen to me."  Me: "I'm going to enjoy listening to all three of you give directions."(the GPS)

I asked the young woman who had a first name that started with the letter "X"(and sounded like an "H") and a last name that had a "Y" and a "Z in it, how did your parents come up with that name? "They just wanted to make my life miserable. However, growing up sometimes people would call me "X" and I felt like a superhero."

"The only thing to do in Darien, Ct. is go to the CVS."

"Once I got in an Uber and all I could smell was pot.  Another time there was a woman in the front seat who I thought was a passenger.  However, at the light, the driver kissed her so I got out of the car."

"Positive comments feed the soul."

Husband: "I'm really a bad ass."  Wife: "He's full of shit." (both joking)

"I moved to South Carolina from Minnesota so I could get more air time so I can become a pilot."

"Anyone who says they enjoy the Chicago winters-they are lying."

"Of course people are friendly here, how can you not be with this weather."

"When I visited, I loved New Jersey.  I didn't want to come back to Charleston. But, it's too cold up there for me.  If I never see snow again, I'm good."

About people in the North- "I'd be unhappy too if half of my wages were being taken away from me."

"I think if a job title has more than five words, it's made up."

"Just like in life, the more you do something the better you become."

"I am very grateful to the Uber driver who suggested I look into the program, "Teach for Tomorrow. She's getting her teaching certificate online while she teaches and I'm going to do the same thing."

Accountant: "If you torture the numbers enough they will confess to anything."

"In the early 1990's when I was in grade school, we had "Brave Day" in Atlanta to celebrate the Braves being in the World Series.  Kids brought in head dresses and fake tomahawks and it was a lot of fun.  We couldn't do that today."

"Go out and do what you need to do-get it done, there are no excuses."

"The scenic view of Charleston is the best in country, I fell in love with it."

(8th Grade teacher in her first year)  "The best thing about teaching is the impact you have on a life."

"What a cool car, you could have your own limo business with it."

"It's much colder in Russia where I'm from-it's 15-20 degrees below zero now."

Woman in the south ten years-"The southern hospitality, it's a little much sometimes."

"I think President Trump will double his votes with African Americans on Election Day."

"The population in the Charleston area is supposed to increase 40% in the next 5-10 years to over one million people."

"The young people in the Williamsburg section in Brooklyn, dress like their homeless, but what they wear is really expensive."

"I'm just an old soul, I like things that are more old-fashioned."(woman in her late twenties)

"One night serving in a fine dining restaurant I was the only server and took care of 13 tables at the same time.  The bartender helped me and I made $400 that night."

Coast Guard Law Enforcement- "I treat each person like I would my father until they give me a reason not to."

"I love your van, it's really cool.  I want one, really bad."

Who do you want to win the Super Bowl? "My monetary interest is in the Chiefs."

"Nashville isn't just about country music, alternative and pop music is very big there too.  The airport hires singers to sing in the airport so even people who have lay-over in Nashville get to enjoy the Nashville experience."

Red Sox and Patriot fan- "We're used to winning."

"We were meant to meet you and me."