My rider showed me a picture of his wife and when I showed him a picture of my wife, he said with a thick British accent, "Our wives have something in common-they have abominably poor taste in men."
"When my Dad was in college he requested New England Patriot tickets just for fun and was put on the waiting list. Almost thirty years later they called and he got tickets. I was in high school and I was the coolest girl in school and all the guys wanted to date me."(big smile on her face as she twirled her hair)
"Our husbands are so needy. They don't even know how to feed themselves when we're away."
(6:30 am Sunday) "I haven't gone to sleep yet. My "bro" and I met two girls and I'll let you use your imagination." Me: "Do I have to, I am driving."
"My Dad is an Urologist. He got in an Uber and the woman was upset that her husband got a vasectomy and she just got pregnant. My Dad realized that the vasectomy was done in his office, which he didn't tell her. He looked it up later and found out that his colleague did the procedure, but the husband never came back for a follow-up appointment to make sure everything went okay. It was his fault."
"I can't tell my girlfriend this, but a few years back I made out with Jenna Bush, George W. Bush's daughter. The Secret Service wasn't happy about it."
"I've always been disappointed with mini-golf, but I've thought my whole life about "stripper mini-golf."
"When my uncle and aunt married they made a compromise. He was a die-hard Red Sox fan and a Christian and she was a big Yankee fan and Jewish. It was so important to my Uncle to rais his kids as Red Sox fans, he converted to Judiasm and they live in New York with two kids who are Red Sox fans."
When I asked the young attorney to explain to me exactly what the very popular South Eastern Wildlife Expo was in Charleston, he said, "it's great, there are a lot of exhibits, shotguns, girls, and alcohol."
"I became a doctor because of the 70's television Marcus Welby Md. in the early 70's. I was impressed with how he cared for his patients and his community. People discouraged me, but Marcus Welby made the difference."
"My Dad has 24 brothers and sisters all from the same parents and I must have 1,000 cousins. I just want to go somewhere where no one knows me."
"Do you have any advice on how to find a rich guy in New York City?"
(On the phone) "If you know where we are, come get us-I'm cold."
Wife: "Don't listen to the backseat driver." Husband: "Don't listen to her, listen to me." Me: "I'm going to enjoy listening to all three of you give directions."(the GPS)
I asked the young woman who had a first name that started with the letter "X"(and sounded like an "H") and a last name that had a "Y" and a "Z in it, how did your parents come up with that name? "They just wanted to make my life miserable. However, growing up sometimes people would call me "X" and I felt like a superhero."
"The only thing to do in Darien, Ct. is go to the CVS."
"Once I got in an Uber and all I could smell was pot. Another time there was a woman in the front seat who I thought was a passenger. However, at the light, the driver kissed her so I got out of the car."
"Positive comments feed the soul."
Husband: "I'm really a bad ass." Wife: "He's full of shit." (both joking)
"I moved to South Carolina from Minnesota so I could get more air time so I can become a pilot."
"Anyone who says they enjoy the Chicago winters-they are lying."
"Of course people are friendly here, how can you not be with this weather."
"When I visited, I loved New Jersey. I didn't want to come back to Charleston. But, it's too cold up there for me. If I never see snow again, I'm good."
About people in the North- "I'd be unhappy too if half of my wages were being taken away from me."
"I think if a job title has more than five words, it's made up."
"Just like in life, the more you do something the better you become."
"I am very grateful to the Uber driver who suggested I look into the program, "Teach for Tomorrow. She's getting her teaching certificate online while she teaches and I'm going to do the same thing."
Accountant: "If you torture the numbers enough they will confess to anything."
"In the early 1990's when I was in grade school, we had "Brave Day" in Atlanta to celebrate the Braves being in the World Series. Kids brought in head dresses and fake tomahawks and it was a lot of fun. We couldn't do that today."
"Go out and do what you need to do-get it done, there are no excuses."
"The scenic view of Charleston is the best in country, I fell in love with it."
(8th Grade teacher in her first year) "The best thing about teaching is the impact you have on a life."
"What a cool car, you could have your own limo business with it."
"It's much colder in Russia where I'm from-it's 15-20 degrees below zero now."
Woman in the south ten years-"The southern hospitality, it's a little much sometimes."
"I think President Trump will double his votes with African Americans on Election Day."
"The population in the Charleston area is supposed to increase 40% in the next 5-10 years to over one million people."
"The young people in the Williamsburg section in Brooklyn, dress like their homeless, but what they wear is really expensive."
"I'm just an old soul, I like things that are more old-fashioned."(woman in her late twenties)
"One night serving in a fine dining restaurant I was the only server and took care of 13 tables at the same time. The bartender helped me and I made $400 that night."
Coast Guard Law Enforcement- "I treat each person like I would my father until they give me a reason not to."
"I love your van, it's really cool. I want one, really bad."
Who do you want to win the Super Bowl? "My monetary interest is in the Chiefs."
"Nashville isn't just about country music, alternative and pop music is very big there too. The airport hires singers to sing in the airport so even people who have lay-over in Nashville get to enjoy the Nashville experience."
Red Sox and Patriot fan- "We're used to winning."
"We were meant to meet you and me."
No comments:
Post a Comment