A Few Courier Tales

 As a courier during the week there are some amusing moments, but they are usually quick unlike some of my Uber stories.  Here are a few I've had this month.

'THE SNOWMAN" -It's my newest nickname from one of my customers.  The woman who had one of my favorite comments when I told her how much I wanted just five minutes of flurries.  She looked up and said, "Dear Lord, please give this man what he wants, but only over his house." Every time I go to deliver to her, we talk snow.  I walked in recently and said, "did you hear what Atlanta had this morning, snow?" She said immediately, "are you taking a flight?" Another day, I talked to her about the snowstorm up north in New Jersey. I said, "when do you get off work? We can grab a few things and I'll take you on a long car ride. I'll show you how much fun it is to drive in snow." Her eyes got big and she was shaking her head no, "I'll leave that for you to do." One of these days we'll get some flurries, can't wait to see her that day.

"HOW ARE YOU?" Those three words are not what they really mean today.  Most people use it as a greeting, like, "good morning" or, "hi." If someone asks you that in passing you could say, "I hardly slept at all, my car hit a deer and I forgot my lunch and my wallet at home." They'll just smile and keep walking and never hear what you said.  The best answer to, "how are you?", I read about years ago when someone replied, "fantastic, but I'm improving." I have used it once or twice and it gets a lot attention.

Recently, I was delivering in a hospital and I saw someone I knew and I said, "how are you today?" She replied, "perfect." I've never heard anyone say that and I said, "perfect?" She said, "yes, today I feel perfect." The next day I saw her and she answered, "okay," but for at least one day she was feeling perfect.

THE DOG GUY: Frequently I'll make a delivery to a house and as soon as I ring the doorbell, the barking begins. Sometimes, it's two dogs and it sounds like there's a kennel inside.  It's not unusual that the person answering the door can't open the door as they try to keep the dog away from the door.  I think it was earlier this year I made a delivery and a guy came to the door, yelling at the dog to stay back. He barely got out of the screen door to take the package from me. He told me it was his wife's dog which she loves and he just bares it. He made comments that he never expected to be ready to retire and have to take care of a dog.  He went on a little bit and I sympathized with him.

As I pulled up to his house again this month,  I remembered the conversation, but not what he looked like.  He was standing in the street talking to neighbors and came over to me.  I reminded him of our conversation.  He said, "I paid a heavy price for that conversation. My wife heard the whole conversation from the monitor on the porch." I was laughing and he was amused too.  We weren't on the porch so we could laugh about it.