Ridiculous and Funny

In case you need a break from reality and all the interesting things going on in the world, this may be what you need.  On January 1, 2022, British writer Dan Brotzel, decided to do something no one else in the world has ever done. He decided to celebrate a holiday every single day of the year.  It wasn't just one holiday, (which probably also hasn't been done), but he was going to celebrate a different holiday every single day of the year.

Above is a picture of Dan signing up for the London Marathon on Paget's Disease Day. He found out that there are thousands of holidays during the year and you can make your own one up if you want to. New holidays have increased tremendously due to social media.  Dan said his plan was, "A ridiculous idea with no obvious point, but I was in." 

He had a lot of fun, met a lot of interesting people and learned a lot while he also donated some time and money to good causes. He did 1,000 squats for Marie Curie Day and wore a gorilla suit to work for Wear a Gorilla Suit Day.  He has an audio book called "Awareness Daze" that is eleven hours long about his year of adventure.

In case you are interested in celebrating any of these days, here is a short list of ones that he mentions:

National Wash Your Nose Day                                     National Stationary Week

Feeding Tube Awareness Week                                     Anti-Frizz Month

Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day                                    CAPPS LOCK DAY

National Fruitcake Tossing Day                                    Zombie Awareness Month

National Bubble Bath Day                                            Talk Like a Pirate Day

British Pie Week                                                            National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month                             National Dimples Day

World Cancer Day                                                         National Something on a Stick Day

Zero Waste Week                                                           I Hate Coriander Day

National Comfort Food Day                                          National Chilli

Haiku Day                                                                      National Pretzel Day

National Double Cheesburger Day                                Holocaust Memorial Day

National Peanut Butter Day                                            National Kazoo Day

Eat a Bagel Day                                                       National Last Day of Christmas Shopping

National Hermit Day                                                       National Cabbage Day

                        NATIONAL PIZZA WITH THE WORKS EXCEPT ANCHOVIES DAY

What About Pedro? (Not his real name)

                                                        

For seven years I have been blogging stories about my riders at the end of the month and only one time did I write a separate blog about one rider.  When a woman who works for The Kansas City Chiefs pulled out her super bowl ring, I had to write about her to thank her for her thoughtfulness and to emphasize how incredibly generous she was to give me that thrill. I sent her a copy of the blog.

For the past three years, I have been driving the below couple to and from the airport for them to visit their doctors each month in the Boston area to keep them in business.  They are easily my most frequent riders with possibly 50-60 rides. They never did get a free ride, despite his pleadings. The deep cleaning of their teeth is very important to them and they enjoy experiencing the cold and snowy northeast compared to the warm sunny skies of their other place here in Myrtle Beach.

                                              MOST FREQUENT RIDERS

Pedro, pictured above, is not his real name. He has kept me and his wife, Susan, laughing throughout these rides.  Calling my car an "old jalopy," or that I was, "pushing the weight limit in my vehicle," or that I had a "floozy and I should say hello for him," Pedro has had too many funny and wacky comments.  He loved talking about how my wife and I did not have a television for five years here and he said, "It's un-American, even people in third world countries have tv's." He's a tv fanatic and in his honor when we move into our house this summer I'm going to officially name our tv, "Pedro." (not his real name)

On Saturday, April 12th, (almost 113 years after Fenway Park opened up-April 9, 1912 and two days before the Titanic sunk), I drove this couple home from the airport one last time. Half way through the trip, Pedro, and possibly some of the other personalities inside of him, started to ramble and left his wife Susan, calling out every few minutes, "My stomach hurts."

Here is what I have from the final ten minutes of laughing with them:

Pedro:(not his real name) "You and your wife, you're like criminals, you're moving every year. You're a fugitive, people are going to want to know what your crimes were. Can't wait until your kids find out you're fugitives. I might just turn you in if there's a reward."

He: "The reason you didn't have a TV for five years is that you didn't want to see yourself arrested on TV." 

He said, "I'll pick you up from the airport in a pick-up truck with no seat and then I'll drive by you and not see you and charge you $4,000 for the ride."

"Keep running, don't get caught. If you do, I'll bail you out."

I was trying to drive and take notes.  As we entered their development for the last time, I was as usual zig-zagging around the potholes. There were people in the neighborhood cheering us on by waving chocolate bars at us. You think I'm kidding, but they were trying to get us to stop and donate money to a local church.  Pedro showed his support by saying, "Don't stop, just run them over."

When Joan Kennedy(mother to John, Robert and Ted among many others) turned 100 years old there was an article in Parade Magazine, which I think I still have.  She was asked, "What are you most proud of in your life?" She said, "We always had laughter in our house."

Pedro and Susan will always have laughter in their lives and with their smiling faces hanging in my jalopy, laughter will always be around them there. Unsuspecting Coloradans will hear about the ramblings of a half demented, half hilarious, television crazed, really nice guy, who talks funny and lives that way too, while rooting for all the Boston sports teams.

Pedro, you have a lot more innings to pitch, can you stay out there pitching to my Yankees for a few more innings? (Grady said it was okay)

Have a Baby and a Bagel?

                           

         

I love babies and I love bagels, but I have to admit I have never thought about babies and bagels together. Where did bagels come from? How about the early 17th century in the Jewish Community of Krakaw, Poland.  They were given to women who had just given birth!

I'm having a little difficulty picturing this in modern times.  The husband comes into the hospital room not with flowers or balloons, but with a dozen bagels? Would that be with or without cream cheese? 

A bagel signified "The Circle of Life" and the longevity of life for the baby. Again, I'm picturing something very different in my head like, "The Lion King" and Simba and a lot of animals running around, but there are no bagels.

Back in the old days they would give expectant mothers and midwives bagels. This would give good fortune and even keep away evil spirits from the baby.  And the best part, at times they would wear bagels on a necklace or just have bagels in the birthing room.

I hope you find this amusing, because I can't picture a bagel hanging from a necklace or a stack of bagels in the birthing room.  What is more shocking: thinking about what they used to do with bagels, or would a 17th century woman be shocked at how many bagels we eat and all the different kinds of bagels?

I don't know the answer, but I'm never going to look at a bagel or a baby the same way.

Becoming a Coloradan

After almost 7 1/2 years of "Becoming a Southerner," in Myrtle Beach, my wife and I are heading west in the next few weeks.  We have had a great time here in the south and there are obviously some things we will miss. However, in Colorado we have two of our three kids and our first grandchild.  We're looking forward to spending a lot of time with her and family when they are available.

How did this all happen? Last summer we spent 4-5 weeks in Colorado on our fourth trip to the state when our granddaughter was born. We did look at houses and found a model that we liked that was a short distance from Denver airport and our son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter.  It's in the town of Lochbuie, which is near Brighton. We made a deal with the builder to buy one of the last houses in the development and although there were some delays, it should be ready in the summer. It's a very open house as you can see below.

The next few months we will be living with both of our children in the area.  We will also be celebrating the wedding of our third child out there at the end of May. We will have plenty of time getting used to the area, getting ready to be a new homeowner and living in the western part of the country. I will be Ubering in Colorado on the weekends and I will be taking my longest road trip by myself in the beginning of May with my Ubermobile.

Moving from New Jersey to Myrtle Beach was a big move of over 600 miles.  Moving to Colorado is about 1,800 miles and we will be making the trip in our usual three days with my wife's Subaru and our dog, Odin.  The below picture will not be our view out the back window.  

Colorado is much more like New Jersey than it is Myrtle Beach.  There will be snow (YEAH) and four seasons, a lot of highway driving, and a faster pace of life than Myrtle Beach. There will be things we won't miss from Myrtle Beach and other things we will definitely enjoy in Colorado.

What will I call this blog? I'm still working on it, but it will have to change from "Becoming a Southerner." I'll be filling you in on the big month that's coming with plenty of pictures and unusual observations.

What Did You Accomplish When You Were Three?

Think back into your past about all the thing you accomplished as a child.  Go back to age three and explain what you did at age three. I know my mom always said that I didn't start walking until 19 months and then I would add, "Yeah, but I've been walking ever since."  Starting to walk is a pretty big deal, but I wasn't two yet. 

There were a lot of things going on in the world when I was three, such as November 22, 1963, when President Kennedy was killed and February 7, 1964, when The Beatles came to America and that week they were on The Ed Sullivan Show.  I had nothing to do with either of those events and I don't remember watching them on television either.

I had to give it some thought after reading the news this week about a three-year old girl in Israel who was hiking with her family.  Did I do any hiking when I was three?  Eight? Fifteen?  I don't think so.

What did the three-year-old do? Her older sister, Omer Nitzan, explained what her sister, Ziv, did when they were walking with their parents near an archeological site.  "We were walking along the path, and then Ziv bent down, and out of all the stones around her, she picked this particular stone. When she rubbed it and removed the sand from it, we saw something that was different about it. I called my parents to come and see the beautiful stone."

She found a scarab-shaped Canaanite amulet that is about 3,8000 years old.  The three-year-old found something that is 3,797 years older than she is. Amulets like this were very popular in ancient Egypt and frequently would have symbols or religious beliefs on it. 

The excavation site has existed for the past fifteen years in Tel Azeka, which historically in the Bible is the place that David fought Goliath.  David was supposedly no more than sixteen years old at the time.

A few years ago I drove a bartender here in Myrtle Beach who when he was nine years old he was the ball boy for the Philadelphia Phillies in 1980.  He received a World Series ring when he was nine and I joked, "When you get something like that at nine years old, the rest of your life is all down hill."

What about this this three-year-old? Can she do any better than this in her life? Ziv Nitzen and her family received a certificate of appreciation for the discovery.  I wonder, will she one day put this on her resume and will this turn into being her future career?

MY FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS IN MARCH

After losing her mom three years ago, she's been carrying her mom's ring in her purse and sometimes wearing it. "It has bad karma and I want you to take it and change the karma and give it to a Leo. My mom's birthday was August 15th and mine was August 17th." (Mine is August 19th. I gave the ring to a passenger's daughter who has been in the Army for three years)

I picked the 24-year-old guy up at the hospital and asked him how he was feeling. "Not that good. I died this morning. I was at a party and my friend gave me Adderall after drinking but it had fentanyl. I ordered an Uber and got in, but my driver saw I wasn't breathing and got me help. He saved my life. They hit me twice with Narcan, but the first one didn't work."

He: "My dad had me when he was 65 and my mom was 23. He had 22 kids, 67 grandchildren and 30-40 great grandchildren. I think the song, "Papa Was a Rolling Stone," was written about him."

She: "I was in a hurry in the bathroom and I went to brush my teeth and I grabbed the Preparation H and it was disgusting. There was no minty flavor. I probably needed a root canal after that."

She came to South Carolina about five years ago and was rooting for the South Carolina Gamecocks.. "I bought a hat that said, "Go C o c k s.  When I got home, no one knew what that meant, they thought I was a whore."

I asked, "What kind of work do you do?" She replied, " I'm a stripper on "Only Fans." My reply was, "How long have you been doing it?" She said, "Why do you want to get on it?"

Growing up in Los Angeles, he said, "I was a Bible-reading hooligan. One night we went to The Crystal Cathedral and I peed on a statue."

She actually asked once, "What kind of meat is on a veggie sub?"

"I'm a leap year baby, so I'm 25 today, (Feb. 28) but I've had only six birthdays."

After I talked with her a few minutes, the ninety-one year old former doctor said, "Now that we're intimate, I can tell you that Jake LaMotta was my oldest brother." (The boxer was a heavyweight champion and his nickname was "Raging Bull" which was a classic movie about his life)

He: "I don't want to go to a bar to watch sports-everyone talks and their idiots."

"We were in a Tesla that was driving itself and I asked the driver, "What do you do with your feet?" He answered, "I don't have any limbs."

Joking about his next driver, he said, "I'll either like him or I'll hate him and I'll hit him with a baseball bat." (really joking)

She: "When I was going to be a senior in high school I heard they were building a Senior Living Facility next to the school.  I told my parents I was going to move in with my friend."

She had chicken in her lunch bag and I asked, "Are you just chillin' today?" She said, "Yes, and I went to church in the morning." I said, "It's church, chillin', and chicken?" She replied, "That sums my day up right there."

I asked, "Have you ever gotten a gift from an Uber driver?" She said, "We had a driver in Charleston who offered us fortune cookies.  He had a bag on his dashboard and he had personal messages in the cookies. We didn't eat the cookies, we were kind of freaked out.

I asked, "What do you do for work?" She said, "I sell pictures of my feet." Joking, she then said, "I'm the funniest person you ever met."

I asked her where she was from and she said, "Ninety Six in South Carolina. We have two traffic lights and a Hardees."

German college student getting her MBA in South Carolina: "Everything in America is like a dream come true for me."

In charge of all media for the corporate offices of a major airline, he said, "I save them ten to fifteen million dollars a month."

She had a big smile on her face through most of the ride and I complimented her on it. She said, "I have to smile because I watch people die of cancer for a living."

In collections she said, "I like getting paid for being a bitch."

She said, "I've visited 89 countries in the world.  I was very impressed with Tibet."

I asked her, "Have I driven you before?" She said, "I don't know I don't usually pay attention to Ubers." 

Male bartender: "My worst days today are better than the best days of my life ten years ago. "I'm one of the most positive people on the planet. When you wake up in the morning, take the win."

She: "Once that first grandchild comes people will move to Kalamazoo to be there.  My mom put her house up for sale the day after my sister said she was expecting."

She was in Myrtle Beach to see a timeshare presentation and told me, "I went there by myself and they told me they didn't have enough reps. They gave me the $150 card and I didn't have to see the presentation. I don't think they thought I could afford it-I made $90,000 last year."

A group of former marines got together at the funeral of one their friends. "We put some commemorative marine coins in his coffin. He was the only one who didn't like Trump, so one guy threw a Trump 2024 coin in and said, 'If anything is going to wake him up, that is it."

I picked the older woman up at a hotel where she does laundry. She: "I'm legally blind and I have chronic heart failure. Sometimes it stops and I have to hit my chest to start it. I'm waiting for them to tell me I have six months to live." Why are you still working?" She: "I never filed for disability. I grew up learning that you should work, so I work."

A server for 18 years in Charleston, she told me about her amazing customer. "I had lost my 22-year-old son and returned to work. A regular customer who worked in a bank, noticed I wasn't myself and found out why.  He gave me a $200 tip.  Later that day he returned and handed me an envelope with $1,200 in it and said, 'Do something nice for yourself.' I bought a gravestone for my son."

MORE COMMENTS

I asked, "How did you two meet?" She: "A mutual friend re-kindled us."

Engaged she told me, "You're the first person I've told who spoke positive about marriage." (Married 41 years)

He: "Myrtle Beach is about eight years behind the northeast."

His name is Shep. "I've had drivers who didn't want to pick me up because of the famous guy named Shep who goes to get his drugs in an Uber."

The sales manager said, "I owe my career to soccer. I was playing on a company team and they offered me a job in sales."

My father-in-law worked for Major League Baseball and told me that they change the Yankee logo every year just slightly different shades of white due to copyright and legal issues."

After she was in the car, I asked her, "What are you up to today?" She replied, "I'm taking a ride with you right now."

I asked him how he and his wife met. "I was sitting in my car talking to random people and she just popped up on the screen."

He worked for five years in a very large convenience store. I said, "They should make you a manager." He replied, "Sadly they already have."

She: "This crazy weather confuses my knee."

He said after sneezing twice, "The most I've ever sneezed in a row was five times." He sneezed six times and I wrote him a note to show: "I heard him sneeze six straight times-Uber driver."

About to move to North Carolina near the water, he said, "We're naturals for the coastal area."

Talking about the good times the group of guys had last night, he said, "We lost some soldiers tonight."

She: "When I grew up I was terrified by dwarfs."

"When you find the right job you are eager and excited to do it."

"I was going to go into physical therapy, but I realized I don't like people.  I'm going to be a pilot."

Her family moved from Utah to South Carolina and she's still getting used to how friendly people are here: "I still think it's kind of weird."

He: "You don't have to have running shoes to run, but it helps."

Growing up in Myrtle Beach he said, "I learned how to say no and keep out of trouble."

High school math teacher in Washington D.C.: "I tell my students if you keep doing the work you'll get it."

"The woman is here from Iran for two months and she said, "Iran has the cheapest currency in the world."

There's a Ruth Chris that has a rent of $30,000 a month."

She: "My name Niko and it is polish and it means, "Victory for the people."

He was in his 50's when he ran with the bulls in Spain. "My sons did it two months earlier and my friend and I watched from a balcony before we did the run so we could see what happens.  There were 6 bulls that ran and 6 cows were there to calm the bulls down."

Physical therapist: "I knew I wanted to be in health care, because my mom was."

New to the country, she said, "You're first person I'm having a conversation with."

The young woman who is trying to figure out her career, told me, "I'm writing a historical romance novel."

She: "I used to think Donald Trump was such a jerk, but now I'm looking forward to seeing what he can do."

The young person majoring in elementary education said, "I understand kids better than adults."

He said about his friend sitting next to him, "She's of the greatest women I know."

COMMENTS ABOUT LILY, MY MANNEQUIN

I asked the Frenchwoman, "Do you have any mannequin stories?" She: "You mean for sex-toy parties?"

"Is she haunted?"

She: "A friend of my grandparents bought an old Victorian home in Massachusetts that Lizzie Bordon used to own.  Up in the bedroom window they have a mannequin head with a light shining on it so you can just see the shadow."

"He probably talks so much to the dummy, he forgets he has people in the back."

"She's all over the car."

"That is great."

"What's with the puppet?"

"She's awesome"

UNIQUE OCCUPATIONS

Kidney and liver surgeon

Vibration technician

Civil Engineer

Fishing Mate

Stripper on "Only Fans"

She: Navigates ships for the Navy

Geologist

Media Manager for major airline

Sells Racehorses

Teaches world class service in Guest Services

Manager of Port for oversees ships and spent ten years on a freighter

NEWEST COUNTRIES IN MY CAR:

Thank you to the civil engineer from Memphis who gave me this bill from Denmark-worth $14 here.

The future doctor gave me this bill from Kenya that he got when he worked 15 days in Nairobi and his group saw 12,000 people for medical assistance. He said, "It's a joy to share something like this."

COMMENTS ABOUT ME, MY CAR, AND THE RIDE

"I've never met someone like you."

"You're a breath of fresh air-you value people."

"You are epitome of a collector of a lot of good karma."

From Belgium: "This has to be the highlight of our trip so far."

Getting in the car, "Is there a parade?"

"I told my friend that I just met one of the most incredible people."

"You made my morning."

"That's awesome and I'm not lying."

"This was the best transportation experience I've ever had."

"You are so lovely."

"I wish there were more people like you in the world."

"This was very educational."

"I love that you love your job."

"This is the job that gives you the satisfaction and pleasure that you want working."

My sixth favorite rider, "The attitude adjuster," said, "You're a gift to this culture."

"A ride I'll never forget."

"This was a pleasure."

"What a great idea."

"I love your car."

"This is the most interesting Uber I've ever had."

"You have been the most fantastic driver, thank you sincerely."

She: "This was one of the two best Ubers I've been in." Me: "One of the two best?" She: Laughing she said, "It' the best one I've been in this year." 

"This has been a real treat."

"You made my day a lot better."

"I took pictures to show everyone."

"This was a great ride."

"This has been one of the best experiences I've ever had."

"I love your pictures."

"I don't think we could have gotten anyone better."

"I love your car."

"Museum was great."

"I enjoyed my Uber ride so much."

"Thank you for treating us so well."

"This has been a wonderful ride."

"That was an amazing ride."

"You made my day."

"This is sick."

"This is a beautiful car."

"I am very happy."

"It was so nice meeting you."

"Awesome"

"You were very entertaining."

"This is kind of crazy."

"It's so neat."

"This was the best Uber I've ever had."

"I've never seen anything like this."

"Thank you for all the stories."'

"Very impressive"

"I appreciate the concept."

MY FAVORITE RIDERS OF MARCH 2025 PART 2

                                                             

"TOUGH TIMES NEVER LAST, BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO"

Robert Schuller was a very famous pastor out in California and he published the book in 1983.  I had to tell my rider about it, because her story was such an extraordinary one of someone being resilient. Over the last dozen years she's had a number of extremely difficult personal challenges, starting with her mom passing away from cancer when she was 18.  I was driving her and a friend to get her car that was impounded after she was arrested after refusing a breathalyzer test.  She had just been released from the hospital after surgery and she could not walk a straight line, so she was arrested.

She is in medical school working on being an oncologist to diagnosing and treating cancer.  I complimented her on her big smile and she said,  "I have to smile because I watch people dying from cancer for a living." I suggested to her that she should focus on all the good things she has going for her and not the bad luck or bad Karma she's been experiencing.  I said she was obviously bright and a people person and she was dedicated to doing something to help others.  She has a great future ahead of her and she was right when she said, "I'm resilient."  You can do it!

HE DIED THAT MORNING

I picked him up from a hospital around 10:30 am on a Sunday morning.  I asked him how he was feeling and he said, "Not that good, I died this morning." It was a short ride and it was the most shocking thing someone has said to me in my car and he was serious.

The 24-year-old is in sales and he was mentally trying to get through what happened to him only ten hours ago. "I was at a party and a friend gave me Adderall after drinking, but it had fentanyl. I ordered an Uber and got in, but my driver saw I wasn't breathing and got me help. He saved my life. They hit me twice with Narcan, but the first one didn't work."

I told him to get some rest and that he obviously was very fortunate and received a gift today and I wished him well. Congratulations to the Uber driver and the medical staff that was able to save his life.

25 YEARS OLD WITH  SIX BIRTHDAYS

It was 5 am on March 1, when I picked of four friends in their early twenties and they were trying to get home after a long night.  One of the girls told me that she was a "Leap Year Baby" and she just turned 25. Her actual birthday did not exist since there were only 28 days in the month. She celebrated on the 28th and now it was the first. She told me, "I've only had six birthdays my whole life, one was last year." She has a birthday every four years and she looked a lot older than 6.

SERVING KINDNESS

She has been a server for eighteen years and she was a delight.  I would love to have her serve me at any restaurant.  I could tell she was very good at what she does and she was smiling when she talked to me. She told me one of the most incredible stories I have heard in my car and it was after the worst moment in her life.

She lost her 22-year-old son who died at a party.  Here's her story: "I went back to work and the first day one of my regular customers could tell that there was something wrong and he asked one of my co-workers. He works in a bank and he tipped me $200.  Later that day he came back and gave me an envelope and said, 'Do something nice for yourself. The envelope had $1,200." It was an extraordinary gesture by her customer, but I really felt for her when she told me that she bought a gravestone for her son with the money.

WOULD YOU LIKE A FISHING MATE?

He loves to fish and for seven years he's been working as a fishing mate, doing work on boats and handling all the fishing activities. Working for himself he's worked for, "Wealthy, famous, and crazy people." He is currently working on an eight million dollar fishing boat. He also worked for country music singer, Alan Jackson, for a whole year. His favorite place to travel is the Caribbean islands.

SHE'S AS SHARP AS A...KNIFE?

The older woman slowly got in my car and I had no idea how much fun this ride would be.  I said to her, "What are you up to today?" She answered quickly, "I'm driving with you right now." She was actually going to get her hair done.  She told me she was a chiropractic doctor and she's retired.  I asked her how long ago she retired and she replied, "I'm ninety-one, you do the math." Originally from the Bronx, she was making me laugh, but she had that northeastern toughness. She loves to read and told me she reads a book a week.

After a few minutes she said, "Now that we're intimate I can tell you that my oldest brother was Jake LaMotta." He was a former heavyweight champion of the world and his nickname was "Raging Bull."  The movie, "Raging Bull", starring Robert DeNiro, was his life story and is recognized as one of the all-time great movies.  He had passed away a few years back and I asked her what he did after he retired. She told me he was a celebrity and helped open a lot of places and he sold a lot of memorabilia.  She really was a delight and could have passed for 71 years old.