MY MOST MEMORABLE SEPTEMBER RIDER COMMENTS

 

She: "The one thing I am very good at is I am the best parallel parker."

The anxious male college freshman, suddenly said to me, "I'm not getting kidnapped, am I?"

How did you two meet?" He laughed and said, "We met at McDonalds where she was working. She was in high school and I was in college. The first time I saw her she took my breath away, and it's the only time in my life everything slowed down like a movie. The first thing I said to her was, "I'm going to marry you." (Married 38 years)

He told me that, "Saddam Hussein was addicted to nacho cheese Doritos, it was his heroin." AP fact check: "He could down a large bag in 10 minutes."

He was almost 81 years old and I asked him, "How are you in such great shape?"  He said, "Cheerios." After I stopped laughing he explained, "I used to eat the colored ones when I was young." He meant Fruit Loops.

I asked them, "Do you have anything funny for my blog?" She said, "That kind of pressure makes me feel like the most horrible person on the face of the earth."

The amazing woman told me, "When my fourth child was born, I was cleaning the crib, and I had to give birth suddenly by myself.  I called the midwife and she came to cut the cord."

My frequent rider said, "I just got an oil change and my 10th one was free, when do I get a free ride from you?  Even American Airlines gives us two free Uber rides a month." Me: "I'm working on a Frequent Rider Discount program."

The young woman asked me a question no one has ever asked me- "Can you do a cartwheel?"

After speaking with the singer/songwriter about the songs I've written, he said, "You don't know how close you are to writing a hit song." (How far is Pluto?)

The man from Tennessee said, "It took me thirty years to find the love of my life." She: "It was 28, you're thirty now."

Jack Moore was an instructor on the PGA tour and a great putter: "I once gave Tiger Woods a tip, I won two hundred amateur tournaments, and have trained golfers at $3,000 per hour.  I also sold four million videos at over $50 each."

He: "I've always wanted to be an animation character, maybe a cat."

I asked, "How did you two meet?" He said, "Through the divine power of the internet."

I told him I drive nine hours a day out to Colorado and he said, "I'd have to be on acid to take a nine- hour ride."

The 26-year-old Brazilian has four car dealerships in the Boston area. "We come here to work, we go home to sleep. There is so much opportunity in this country."

I asked the guy from Texas, "Are you a Cowboys fan?" He replied, "I used to like them when they played, but now they are just cowgirls."

How did you become a lawyer? She said, "I didn't want to do math and I said, 'Why not?'"

The intelligent singer said, "Life would work so much better if each person would be working in a job that they are passionate about."

I asked the experienced salesman what the secret of his success is and he said, "I don't have customers, I have friends."

The woman is about to turn 30, but she looks closer to 20.  I said, "You could wear a grey wig to look older." Her boyfriend said, "That would turn me on."

The English major who graduated from Harvard is writing in the film industry. She: "I'm working now on a movie for Amazon, "Sixty-nine Million Reasons Why I Hate You."

I asked, "Have you ever gotten a gift in an Uber?" She said, "I once got a Koran."

She said, "My favorite Uber driver was in a $100,000 truck. He looked like Greg Allman or one of the Doobie Brothers and his car smelled intoxicating.  He said the smell was called, " My uncle's pipe.'" After our three-minute ride, he's now number two!

The Uber driver in Pawleys Island said, "When I was new, I took a ride from Georgetown in the pouring rain.  She was an Uber driver from the Charleston area and thirteen drivers turned the ride down.  It was a three-hour ride to Buford and she told me a lot about the app and helped me.  When I dropped her off, she gave me a $200 tip."

MORE RIDER COMMENTS

I asked her if she was in sales and she said, "How did you know?" Me: "How do you think I knew?" She: "Because I'm so charming?" Me: "I think it's charming that you said you were charming."

I said to the man from India, "The people in Thailand have the reputation of being very friendly."  He replied, "A little too friendly."

She: "We were out in Nevada in a gated community for Halloween and they hired a band to play in the park in the middle of the development."

She: "I come from a long line of hoarders and I throw everything out."

She: "I'm writing a book about stories in my life and it's called, "Seriously Folks, All Day Long, I Kid You Not." I'm going to write about you."

The college professor's advice: "Stick to the things that bring you joy."

I asked the couple who had been married for 27 years, "What's the secret of a successful marriage," and he said, "Whatever she wants-most of the time."

She: "We call ourselves, 'The Two B's.' We're just two bitches."

She: "The beaches here in Myrtle Beach are better than the West Palm Beach area."

"I had to change careers and do something doable and didn't irritate me." He became a college professor.

I asked the two friends how long they have known each other and she said, "I've known him almost since birth."

I asked the physical therapist, "Why did you move to Florida?" She said, "There's a boat load of old people there."

From Wilmington, North Carolina, he said, "I'm a musician with a hard rock band." Davey Williamson

I asked, "How did the two of you meet?" He said, "We were in a running club."

Married 29 years, I asked them, "What is the secret to a successful marriage?" He said, "Understanding, understanding."

I asked her is she had any funny stories and she said, "We have funny stories, but they are not funny to other people."

"It feels like a vacation here everyday."

The young Mexican woman said, "Americans are so kind."

He: "My job is now inside so I don't have to experience the 900 degree summers."

I asked the funeral director how he got interested in the profession.  He said, "My dad was a pastor and I went to a lot of funerals with him."

I asked, "Have you ever gotten a gift from an Uber driver?" She answered, "Yes, I've gotten the gift of kindness many times."

She: "I've had a couple Uber drivers that were falling asleep."

She: "I had to get a reservation at The Dayton Hotel.  When my daughter was two, I won a contest to stay here when I submitted a picture of her at the beach."

She: "What I liked about New Jersey was that it's always busy."

The woman in the car with three friends said, "I hate those people."

He educated me about this: "Purple and orange are complimentary colors."

Me: "What do you like most about Charleston?" She: "I love everything about it."

He said, "After thirty years in the hotel business, I've had enough of people."

SPECIAL OCCUPATIONS:

Working for the NBA doing social media.

Funeral Director

Georgia Tech professor

Fire watchers on a boat

Fire engine technicians on an island

Hard rock musician

Very successful PGA golfer and instructor

Data Scientist

COMMENTS ABOUT LILY, MY MANNEQUIN

Waving at her, she said, "Is there a camera in there?"

The esthetician said, "She has perfect skin."

"It's hilarious."

"She's awesome."

"And who's the pretty girl?"

The country of New Zealand is my 58th country in my car and this coin has Queen Elizabeth on it.

COMMENTS ABOUT ME AND MY CAR

"You're creating memories."

"You're such a fascinating human."

"This is as cool as all hell." (I'm pretty sure he was complimenting me,)

"This has been so memorable and unforgettable."

I said to him that the bills were insane and he said, "Amazing, fascinating, but not insane."

"What an experience!"

"This was the most fun I've ever had in an Uber."

"This was a great ride."

"We were lucky Uber gave us you."

"You  have the customer service, I hope you can keep it up."

"We enjoyed your museum."

"I really had a good time."

"This was the most fun ride."

"This was the coolest Uber ever."

"Amazing!"

Hearing the dolphin and seagull impression, she said, "I can do a whale." It really sounded like Dory from "Finding Nemo" movie.

"You're a great guy."

When she heard the seagull impression she said, "It's not great." (She's the only one)

"This is so fun."

"Take care sunshine."

"You do a great job."

"This is the most entertaining Uber we've had."

"This is the coolest Uber I've ever been in."

"This is the best ride I've ever had and I like your stories too."

"This was the best Uber ride of our trip."

"All I can give you is this taradactle penny." (It said, "Myrtle Beach")

"I hope you get the record for most Uber rides."

"There's a lot of information here."

"That was a good ride."

"That was interesting and cool."

"I love the history on how this all started."

"You would do very well in sales."