"My Colon Had The Highest Score"

Sometimes it is impossible to avoid writing a blog about something.  This is not just something, it's my wife's colonoscopy this past week.  It's pretty serious stuff as you probably know. My wife got great news and now she is very proud and told me at the dinner table, "My colon had the highest score."  

I always brag about my wife and how amazing she is and all the incredible things she does well.  Now, I can brag about her colon. She got a 9 score out of a possible 9, perfect, for cleanliness. I would have shared pictures of her colon with you, but she might be framing them. Before we went to bed that night, she said, "I love the pictures." This picture below shows how happy she is.

This is not a picture of my wife jumping, her body was not in the jumping mood when we got home.

You take a whole day before the big event cleaning yourself out.  You drink only liquids and then drink "Drano" and hope that it all comes out.  And it certainly does-more than you ever thought could come out.  You hit 10,000 steps going to and from the bathroom and just like on a treadmill, sometimes you pick up the speed to get where you need to be.

The big event took 11 minutes and we spent 3 hours and 20 minutes at the hospital.  I am not complaining.  I read eighty pages of a book that was published forty-five years ago.  In the recovery room, the nurse was Joe, and he was a true professional.  My wife told him he had a great voice and could be in radio. She was still a little groggy, but I'm sure it made his day.

My wife told me the secret to her colon success: she did everything she was supposed to do to prepare for the big event. She said that some people don't follow the detailed directions they are given.  Are you kidding me? Spend a day in the bathroom preparing and forfeit your chance to have a perfect colon and you don't follow the directions?

My wife and I are a good team, she has a perfect colon and my eyes at age 64 don't need glasses and probably won't in my seventies!(I do have it in writing from the optometrist) The next time she mentions her perfect colon, I will tell her this: I have perfect eyes.