They were talking about this great special at Outback Steakhouse. I said, "You have to stop, I'm going to have cottage cheese for lunch today." He said, "It's about time you went on a diet. You're pushing the weight limit in this car."
She texted me, "I'm on the beach side, rockin' cool black pants and a sunburn."
I told the couple who knows me, "I've been married for forty years." He said, "It sounds like a life sentence. I think 25 years is legally a life sentence. You could have killed her and have been out already."
She definitely had enjoyed herself on the beach with some alcohol and pot. She pulled out a dollar bill, turned it over and wrote, "Be safe going home and be particular."
The college student was not drinking when she came up with this creative story, "I'm an old man in disguise. I'm really 82 years old. My name is Bob-it's short for Bobby. I worked for Kroger for fifty years and never got a raise. The spirit of the old man will always be in this car."
She: "When I was eight years old my dad was a nursing administrator. For two years I worked nine hours a day, five days a week, doing some inventory and payroll." I asked, "Did you get paid anything?" She: "God no."
When I told them I was going to give them a gift, (My list of comments) he asked, "Anthrax?"
He and his wife live in Florida with their two kids under ten, "To celebrate my 50th birthday we're doing 50 states in 50 weeks with our flexible work schedule."
One day after a Canadian assured me that some Canadian bills DO NOT smell like maple syrup, (which several people have told me), two Canadians said, "The $100 bill definitely smells like maple syrup and they were impregnated into the bills." (It is a real, fourteen year-old myth)
He: "My friend became a truck driver across country and put on eighty pounds in ten months. His favorite stops are Burger King and Arby's. I offered to buy him a small fridge to put healthier foods in it, but he turned me down."
When she just retired people would ask her what she was doing and she would say, "I'm enjoying my front porch."
He: "Charleston is like an interactive museum."
He: "In The South you have to work to live, it should be you have to live to work."
After having several people from Boston who did not say "car" with a Boston accent, the woman from Boston told me, "I think the accent is dying out."
She: "I had an Uber driver who had about 50 green, Christmas air fresheners hanging from the ceiling. They were all identical."
Minnesota has been voted the friendliest state in the country in the past. From Minnesota, she said there is a saying there, "People will give you directions to anyplace but their home."
He: "I learned from my grandfather when we were hunting deer. When I said it was hard to do, he said, "Nothing worth doing is easy." I always say, "Is anything easy worth having?"
She has around thirty clients for her cleaning business. Me: "Do you work with someone else?" She: "No, no, I need all my money!" (Eleven children ages 1 to 26)
She: "I used to be a lawyer. " Me: "What are you now?" She: "A lot less stressed."
He gets off of his security job at 7:30 am. I asked, "What do you do when you get home?" He: "I grab a couple beers and decompress, it's my happy hour."
He knew someone who had a business that his kids had been stealing from him. "He told me that he wants his ashes put in the toilet since his kids have been shitting on him his whole life."
When I asked the little boy, "How old are you?" He quickly said, "10!" His mom laughed and said, "He's four."
"Bringing her "Southern Charm" (her boyfriend from the South) to New York for the first time to LaGuardia Airport, the young woman from New York told him, "Don't look at anyone, don't smile, follow me, keep your head down and pick up the pace. If you can't pick it up, go in front of me and I'll move you and don't pet the police dog. I don't have time to go to the hospital because he bit your hand off."
MORE RIDER COMMENTS
The bar manager said, "I had three job offers, The Ozarks, Martha's Vineyard, and The Rockies. I'm leaving next month for the Rockies."
I said I had a library of over 400 hundred books and he replied, "You have to do something when you don't have a TV." (We do now, after five years)
He: "Myrtle Beach is the Northern Florida."
His wife left Iran a long time ago and he says, "The best way to visit Iran is not to buy a ticket."
His name is Jesselee and he said, "I've researched it and there are only two people on the planet with this name and the other one is a comedian in California."
When I asked her how it feels to be retired, the accountant said, "I don't have to think anymore, you just don't care."
He said, "Charleston hasn't changed in 35 years, it's refreshing."
Taking the couple from Canada to the International Film Festival, I asked them, "Are you hear to see any film in particular?" She answered, "His."
Young military guy: "I was just hanging out, carrying around as a kid in high school, but the military gets that all out of you."
She: "We've been dating four years. If it takes him ten years to propose, he's my man."
I asked the man, "What do you?" His wife said, "He's a man of leisure." (Retired)
She said, "My weakness is shopping and seafood."
Restarting her life and considering missionary work, she said, "I want to make the world a better place, I want to make a difference."
She told her southern boyfriend, "This is Newark, a different king of hell."
The two best friends are getting married in August and one who is going to Italy and Greece said, "I'd rather go with her than my husband."
An elite high school basketball player in New York, "I played against Dr. J, Connie Hawkins, Dave DeBusschere, Nate Archibald, and Willis Reed gave me a chipped tooth."
"I'm not a bartender, because I'd rather have a life."
"I'm in Yacht management."
She moved out of New Orleans recently and said, "I think they recruit out of jail for the city government."
From Pennsylvania he said, "The country's largest buffet is Millers Buffet in Lancaster, Pa." (It really is)
"My name is Cyncerie and I have 13 Kids."
She: "My real name is Oz, it's a Turkish name."
"Life is so delicious."
She told me, "I have a 210 pound dog."
I told him I saw a school bus run a red light recently and he said, "Someone at work today told me they were hit recently by a school bus that ran a red light."
She: "I tattoo brows and it usually costs $600-$700 for the four hours."
He is convinced about this, "All sports is run by the Mafia."
The social worker said, "Some people don't know their lonely."
I asked them how they met and he said, "Playing kickball, we were on opposite teams."
ABOUT MY MANNEQUIN LILY:
"My mom has 15-20 mannequins, each with a different hair style. She puts them in a case and carries them to clients she has."
The college student from New Hampshire explained, "My mom bought a mannequin head and put it in our refrigerator and asked my younger sister to get something for her in the fridge. We move the head around the house scaring each other all the time."
"You have hell-like security. Tell your girlfriend to stop looking in the back of the car."
"My mom has five mannequins that she uses for clients. I have one that I call Susan."
"The head got me."
He said, "I thought she was a reminder of your wife, some men are very attached to their wives." Me: "I've been attached for forty years."
ABOUT ME AND MY CAR:
He said, "This is like a time traveling machine."
He said, "This gives me more faith in humanity."
She: "I'll remember this forever."
"I've never seen anything like this."
She: "This was a great way to start my morning."
The bride to be said, "You're teaching me more than I've ever learned in my life."
"This feels like the best Uber ride ever."
"You made my day great!"
In the mental health field, I asked her if she had an analysis of me and she replied, "I would need to ask a lot more questions."
The social worker said, "You're like an undercover social worker."
The young guy was getting out and said, "This is one helluva car sir."
She: "You may be the best Uber driver ever." Me: "May?"
"I love this."
"It's beautiful, I love this."
"You should be in the papers."
"So cool I got to see you(the car) in the daylight."
"You're the most interesting driver I've ever had."
"What a great ride."
Giving me a big tip, the man from Brazil said, "You are a very nice man."
"You're the best."
"I've been in a lot of Uber's, this was my favorite Uber."
"This was amazing-it was so much fun."
He said, "This was fabulous."
"This is so cool."
"This is the best ride I've ever had."
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