(Disclaimer: This was written on Wednesday and not "published" so we could let a few people know that Odin has arrived. My wife has wanted a puppy for a long time and I still want my wife for a long time, so I promised her a puppy. Many things I say about the puppy are with tongue in cheek, but there's a lot of truth in it also. The saying goes, "happy wife, happy life." I'm now living at the beach with a puppy and my wife)
I've said it for many years, "I have nothing against pets, as long as they are not mine." It's been over 22,000 days of living without being a pet owner and today was my final day. (technically, some time in the 1990's we had a cat for a few weeks. We found it and lost it and it pretty much stayed inside the front door vestibule. It wasn't like it was part of the family, it was just visiting)
If you've had a pet like most people you may not understand my concern, apprehension, and of course hyperventilating at the arrival tomorrow of Odin, a cockapoo. He's a combination of a cocker spaniel and Winnie the Pooh. Well, that's probably not accurate, it's more likely a cocker spaniel and a poodle. Couldn't they come up with a better combination for a name? I don't mean to be picky, but really?
What is it I don't like about animals? We don't have enough time. I've said before that my favorite dog was the cartoon character, "Underdog," and that's not a joke. Mickey Mouse of course is another big favorite, but he's not really a pet. He's not really real either, along with Underdog.
As I drove to my first delivery today I started practicing. I was practicing talking to a dog. How ridiculous is that? Do I use a normal voice, deeper one, or, do I sound like I'm talking to a baby. At eight weeks old Odin is a baby dog, but no one puts those words together, but supposedly cockapoo is perfect.
I've been told he's going to sleep 20 hours a day, while I am up almost 20 hours a day-maybe our paths won't cross for awhile. There's really no pressure on me. I only have to learn how to talk to the dog, what words to use, what his toys are and what they are for, how to take him outside to the backyard to poop and pee and of course how to pick up poop and do something with it. And that is really just the beginning. At the dinner table we discussed what my wife is going to call me in front of the dog. She's going out on a limb with this to call me, "Jeff." I nixed the idea of calling me, "Daddy," I am not a father of a dog.
Apparently there are people who enjoy being licked by a dog. My head starts spinning around just typing those words. What could they possibly like about that? And barking? Maybe our dog will learn not to bark. Can I say, "no barking", instead of "no biting." (which of course is preferred today instead of "No Biden.")
I've had several riders in my car tell me that I will love the dog and sometimes come home from work and go to see the dog before my wife. These people are called strangers and they know not what they say. The phrase "a dog is a man's best friend," bothers me. How is it possible? I have no idea.
Tomorrow is the first day I will be a pet owner-thoughts and prayers are welcome.
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