Four good friends from India were having a reunion and one of them said, "Three of us are general practitioner doctors and one of us just turned 40 and is due for his first colonoscopy." Me: "I thought you said you were engineers?" He: "We're engineers of the body." Me: How do I know you're really doctors?" He: "We can do the colonoscopy now. I'll do it for you right here." Me: "I've never had anyone do that." He: "There's always a first time." (They did not)
Bartender: "I once saw a chef drink thirty beers in one eight hour shift."
The eighth grade history teacher was with his class at The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Washington, D.C. One student said, "Why don't they just open it and see who's inside?"
When she won the Ms. South Africa Beauty Contest she received the newest Mercedes, but said, "I could only use it for a year. I lived in a $10 million dollar penthouse and I received around $250,000."
She: "I felt pretty good when the pilot thanked me for having a million miles in the air and then he thanked the guy next to me for having three million miles."
A very talented guy: "I played the trumpet and toured with B.B. King for 8 years and worked for him for 20 years. Right now I'm a co-producer for the Michael Jackson sequel movie and I'm working on the soundtrack."
I asked the couple how they met. She: "We met in grade school, but we didn't date." He: "I had to grow."
He: "Years ago an FBI agent was at a club and did a backflip and his gun fell out and it shot someone. They had it on film and it was on the news." (Denver 2018)
He: "I was born a Yankee fan. My dad was a Yankee fan and I saw the picture of them taking me out of the hospital and I was wearing a Yankee outfit."
On the day my New York Knicks would have a chance to win their first championship in 53 years, I was excited to pick up a guy from Syracuse, New York. I asked, "Are you a big sports fan?" He said, "No not really." Me: "Are you a Knick fan?" He said, "I've never heard of them."
Picking up the young woman at McDonalds, I said, "What are you up to today?" She: "I got me some weed and burgers." Me: "Imagine that, weed and burgers together."
"My family owns 32 restaurants and none of them make less than $1 million a year."
From Ethiopia he said, "I was going to represent my country at the 1984 Olympics in LA for track & field running the 400 meters. My country decided not to go because they didn't get along with the United States." (they joined a Soviet Union boycott)
The young man wanted to get out at the traffic light and run across the road because he was late for a haircut. I said, "Not here, it's not safe. Let me make this turn." He: "I'm a grown-ass man, I can do what I want." I let him out and got to his destination before him.
He: "Working in an office is soul sucking."
I asked him how old he was and he said, "66, but I'm not sure. There were no doctors or nurses, I'm just guessing."
He: "I officially changed my name to silver because teachers in school said I had a silver tongue."
She changed her life. "My husband committed suicide 9 years ago and I turned to alcohol and drugs and lost everything. I was homeless for three years and I wanted to die, but I couldn't do it."
I explained to her that people tell me mannequin stories after seeing my mannequin. She said, "I don't have any mannequin stories. I was afraid of them so I bought one to conquer my fear. I was teaching 14-15-year-olds and it was Halloween. I put on a spaceman outfit and attached the mannequin head to the outfit near my head and I chased them around." Me: "That's your non-mannequin story?"
MORE RIDER COMMENTS
He was on the phone with his wife who was a San Francisco 49er fan. He said to me, "Is that a Kansas City Chief Super Bowl ring hanging there?" I said, "It is and it's the one they won playing the 49er's." He said, "My wife just said, 'Watch your mouth buddy.' "
Looking at my mannequin the young guy said, "I thought maybe you were selling wigs." Me taking off my hat to show my almost bald head, "If I was, would I be wearing this on my head?"
I picked up Ace and I asked her how she got her name. She said, "Have you heard of a band named "Kiss?." I was named after Ace Frehley the lead singer."
She: "I was a bank manager but switched to a property manager when the bank was robbed."
The Russian woman who is an American citizen said, "We should give free high education to all engineers who keep up their grades."
She: "My family is into football, I've been to five Super Bowls."
From Chicago originally, he said, "I never played a warm baseball game, it was always cold."
I asked the couple how they met and she said, "We were in a group and they were going scuba diving and snorkeling. I said I can't scuba, but I'll snorkel."
He said, "My wife is convoluted."
In between jobs he said, "I know a good job is on the horizon."
From Turkey she said, "I'm a flight attendant because it pays double what I made as a biomedical engineer."
From Chicago originally, he said, "I never played a warm baseball game, it was always cold."
She: "If you embarrass yourself in front of teenagers, they love it."
He: "I became an architect because I wanted to help people."
I asked him how he got the name "Journy." He said, "They said it was a journey to get me here."
She: "I'm a Gemini chatterbox."
I asked her, "What kind of work do you do?" She: "I do what I want to do."
The guy originally from Costa Rico said, "I miss the water."
After reading my list of top ten riders, he is the first rider to ask about four or five of them. He said, "Just call me Mr. Curiosity."
Taking the young man with short hair to get a haircut, I asked, "What does a haircut cost these days?" He said, "$50, for everything."
The young Fed-Ex worker asked something very rare: "How do you remember all these stories?"
THANK YOU TO JO AND HER AUNT FOR THIS BILL FROM MOROCCO AND COIN FROM ZAMBIA, TWO NEW COUNTRIES REPRESENTED IN MY CAR
UNIQUE OCCUPATIONS:
Volunteer Baby Cuddler in a hospital
Executive Producer for Corporate Events
Hibachi Chef
Mining Consultant
Nuclear medicine consultant
Figure skating coach
Anesthesiologist
Geological Engineer
THANK YOU TO THE FLIGHT ATTENDENT FROM TURKISH AIRLINES FOR THIS BILL FROM TURKEY, MY 80TH COUNTRY IN MY CAR
I PICKED UP PEOPLE FROM THESE COUNTRIES
Costa Rica, South Africa, Turkey, Mexico, Columbia, Peru, Ecuador, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Philippines, Nepal, India,
WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THIS PICTURE?
My rider said that she has seen this car several times with a mannequin head hanging out of the window. Is it really a mannequin, or do you see a tree, a cardboard picture, or a real person? I have no idea.
WHAT DID THEY SAY ABOUT ME AND MY CAR?
"I really appreciate you trying to see the good in humanity."
From a 20-year-old: "This is what living is all about. Instead of making money, creating memories."
She's about to graduate as a chemical engineer: "You are so nice, I didn't expect to have this kind of morning."
Dr. Lily from Mexico in May posted this on my blog: "Definitely that ride with you is a core memory and my children and everyone I meet will know about driving on the sunny side with Jeff! So wonderful that our paths crossed."
"I will never forget this Uber."
"People are losing connections and being disconnected. I love what you're doing."
Former Uber driver: "You've been awesome. This was a great ride. You have to make it fun."
"This was a wonderful experience, one heck of a museum."
"You should have your own show."
"Thank you, you made my morning."
"I love your car."
"Thank you for the feel good vibes."
"This is one of the best Uber rides I've ever had here or around the world."
"When you get in the car you want to know more."
"I definitely got the right driver."
"This was absolutely amazing."
"This is very cool."
"This was really entertaining."
"It's beautiful."
"Amazing"
"Best Uber driver ever."
"You're a people person."
"That was great!"
"I enjoyed this."
"Keep on keeping on."
"That was amazing to see."
"This is crazy."
"This was a nice display."
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