Saturday, January 7, 2023

Five Years of Blogging-Remembering 2019

 Some of the things that happened to me in 2019 and I blogged about it right here.

Y'ALL

It finally happened.  I wanted "y'all" to know I have now completed phase one of "becoming a southerner."  It was bound to happen, just a matter of time.  I really did say it.  I was living in South Carolina for 436 days before I said "y'all" in a sentence.


Can You "Out-Nice" A Southerner

The continuing struggle in getting used to southern hospitality was my subject in this blog.

I told you that you can "out-nice" a Southerner, but it's hard work.


Not About Constipation

 I could tell you about walking into a supermarket to buy prunes and finding out that they work even better when you just bring them into a bathroom, but I'm not going to.


One of many times I poured orange juice into cereal, this time it was rice and not cocoa krispies.

Rice Krispies and Orange Juice, Not So Bad


"DON'T BLOG ABOUT THIS"

One of many times one of my kids suggested I not write what I was going to write. I was not supposed to write about how people in China go to the bathroom, so I won't one more time.

"The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street"

With the help of Rod Serling and one of my favorite shows, "The Twilight Zone," I wrote about the imaginary couple who lived in our neighborhood and terrorized it. It was just my imagination, running away, but they moved away.

Jay Leno Comes To North Myrtle Beach

My wife and I got to the 69-year-old live and he was terrific, it was a fun night.


The Horse Carriage Ride

Another fun day my wife and I had with our youngest daughter in Charleston, South Carolina.  You had to see our tour guy direct the horse on our carriage ride, barely moving his hand.


The New Highway

I actually drove a couple times on a highway in the South that was not open and didn't have lines yet. In the North, I would have been arrested or fined at least.


MALL WALKING THIRTY YEARS AGO TONIGHT

I paid tribute to the night my wife and I pushed her to have our first child by doing some serious walking in Woodbridge Center.


Everyone Loves Ramen?

At the age of 59 I learned what Ramen was and a lot people eat it, who knew? Everyone else I've been told.


John Lennon would probably not have liked the title which comes from his song, "Give Peace A Chance." Our daughter gave us a fruitcake and it was good.  This particular recipe is 65 years old and one Panettone takes 52 hours to make.  It had to be pretty good if it takes all that time to make, right?

"Give FruitCake A Chance"

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Five Years of Blogging -Remembering 2018

Last week was my five year anniversary of writing this blog. I have now posted 580 times.  I recently shared a few memories or highlights of the first month I blogged in 2018, so I thought I would mention a few of my favorite blog titles and comments from 2018, my first year of blogging.

Recognizing the 54th anniversary of the Beatles coming to America,(February 7th) I ended the blog with the below words. I have Sirius XM radio now and I listen to the Beatles all the time.  I think this was a very good ending to my blogpost although it's probably more accurate to say, "Modern music was born."

My favorite song, "American Pie" by Don McLean talks about, "The Day The Music Died", the awful day that three popular musicians were killed in a plane crash.  A good argument can be made that 54 years ago today, four musicians arrived in New York and it was the day that music was born. I still "believe in yesterday."

Goodbye Gladys-

My wife had her gall bladder removed and named her Gladys.
My mother-in-law told me that the movie "The Lord of the Rings" was played at her assisted living place and she explained the movie with these words and then I explained the movie.  There's more to the movie of course, a lot, lot, lot more.

"there was a village with a lot of kids and a very old man who rode in on a carriage and a guy with a long, white beard." 

"There's this Hobbit who finds this powerful ring that he has to destroy by getting it to a mountain and throwing it into the fire inside.  If he doesn't destroy it, the evil guy will get it and destroy mankind and rule the world." 


Obstacles Exist To Be Overcome

I read a terrific book with one great quote on Ernest Shackleton's failed expedition in Antarctica. I may hang this quote in my car, it's an important message.


We had this minor problem when they built our house. I can't imagine we could have been peeing in a closet.

We were at the house today and they are framing it and it looks good.  One small problem is the hook-up for our toilet.  We're pretty sure the plumber put it in our closet in the master bedroom.


"Go Spoil Your Wife With Kindness"

My friend Gary ended an e-mail with these words. Since then, I've had a number of riders tell me that the world needs more kindness so Gary was right on target.


The title of the country music song which cracked me up-it's a real title.

"I Want To Check Her For Lice"


To buy a TV or not, it is still a question in our house after five years. We have gotten a lot of laughs from people's reactions when they hear we don't have a TV.

It's going to be odd to be in a house without a TV, but right now it looks like we're going to just skip it.  I'm not sure we're going to miss it either, but maybe one day we'll buy a TV for our new house.  Maybe it won't be a new house anymore?


"Your Television Will Be Back With You In A Minute"

These words appeared on my screen while I was watching a show in our condo. It made me wonder where the television went.

The local radio station had a "Loser Line." Women would give out a fake number to a guy and they would call this answering machine and this a real message:

"I didn’t tell you this when we met, but I collect machetes.  I didn’t want you

 think I was weird, but they're pretty cool and they remind me of my mother.  Recently, I found a whole storage unit full of them.  Give me a call back and I’ll tell you what we can do on our first date.”


SALLY THE SALAMANDER: My wife named the salamander that was hanging around the outside of our house and in our garage and I wrote about her.


Below is part of my tribute to my wife on our 35th anniversary and it's still true today.

She makes me happy every day and I am very grateful to have spent these 35 years with her.  Every night when we go to sleep I look into her eyes and see a woman who is more beautiful today than she was on the day we got married, August 28, 1983.

Questions While My Wife Is Away

4.  If you leave your toothbrush out on the counter and there's no one to see it there, is it in the wrong place?

My wife went out to California for eight days to visit her brother and I had 12 questions I was asking in this blog. I just picked one question above. It was a fun blog to write.



I'm Just Like SpongeBob!


My blog was about the history of SpongeBob, which our kids love. I wrote that since I'm now blogging, one day they'll talk about my blogs like they talk about old SpongeBob episodes.  Maybe not, but you never know.


My tribute to the "Mother of Thanksgiving" is one of my favorite stories that almost no one knows.

On Thanksgiving, Give Thanks To Sarah Josepha Hale


Monday, January 2, 2023

MY FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS IN 2022

It was a terrific year driving and I met so many incredibly interesting and funny people.  I just started giving out the below list to riders and I will continue to do that for the rest of the year. It is a lot of fun giving people something I know they will enjoy, since I've entertained riders with these comments all year long.  These were the best in 2002:

MY FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS OF 2022

Lawyer: Paul McCartney was my first crush at age three-he’s the only 80-year-old man I would give up for my 60-year-old man.”                                              

The two women had about ten shopping bags from the outlet mall when I picked them up. I said, “What did you get me?” One woman said immediately, “A speedo.” She paused and added, “Do you know what that is?”

The woman from New York has been living in the South three years. Me: “Have you gotten used to how friendly people are here?” Her: “Yes, and I don’t like it. I prefer rude people where I can give more right back to them.”

Young woman: “When I came out as gay to my family, my 90-year-old grandmother said, ‘I wish I liked women, men suck!’ ”

She got out of my car at noon after a 3-mile ride and handed me $20. “This is for not murdering us. I have a fear of Uber drivers." Me: “Thank you, but you’re wearing a black, Friday the 13th shirt-I should fear you.”

Him: “When I first arrived in South Carolina from the west coast, I saw a 7-foot gator on the golf course.  I picked it up from its tail and it started hissing.”  Me: “What did you do then?” Him: “I put it down and ran.”

Married ten years they were celebrating his birthday. Me: “Your birthday is more important than my 39th wedding anniversary tomorrow.” He disagreed, “Anyone who suffers the pain and torture of a woman for that long, it’s more.” His wife added, “She may not be as bad as me.”

“In our old age home is a 108-year-old man. He drives his own truck to church every Sunday and just got a girlfriend in church.”

I asked the 20-year-old woman, “What do you do for work?” She replied, “I’m a part-time traveler.  Each month I take a 3–5-day vacation to a place I haven’t been. I want to be a chef who travels the world.”

He: “It is difficult adjusting to the South from the North. You have to adjust to people waving five fingers at you instead of one.” 

After a fun ride, he said, “You can blow sunshine up our butt anytime-I would have said ass, but I thought I was on Cash Cab.”

Male: “My 16-year-old daughter just told me that she has a boyfriend. She didn’t want to tell me because she was afraid I would scare him.  I just wanted to tell him about guns and graveyards.”

Young woman: “I’m going to a reptile convention. I help rescue exotic animals and right now we’re helping a tarantula.”

She: “We were watching the movie, ‘He’s Just Not into You,’ and I said, ‘I’m not desperate to get married.’ He said, ‘Would you marry me?’ I said I would, and we’ve been married six years. He was the sixth man I was engaged to.” (By age 25)

Male around age 30 in sales: “I talk to a lot of important people for work. We have a stupidity problem in this country.  I told my wife that I have to make enough money to support the next seven generations in our family.”                                                       

 (Couple dating five years) Me: “So you’re still in the dating stage?” Him: We’re actually in the married and just want to kill each other stage, we’re just not married yet."

“When I made pizzas in the Virgin Islands, I told people my pizza tasted so good, because “Happy dudes make happy foods.” 

The woman from New York living in the South for two years is still getting used to how friendly people are. “Just this week the cashier at Publix asked me what I was making for dinner. When we first moved in, a neighbor left a pie on the front porch and I told my husband, ‘Don’t you even think of eating that, it could be poisoned.’”

Her husband is an introvert and getting out my car she said, “You’ve just said more words on this trip than my husband has in 17 years.”

“America” ordered the ride for her sister, who told me that “America” always wanted to come here from Costa Rica.” She lives locally and, “She’s a teacher and her students call her Ms. America.”

He finally accepted he was unique when he was 30 years old. He said, “A good bowl of pasta has a lot of pasta that looks the same, but you have to have spice in that bowl.” Me: “So you’re the spice in a good bowl of pasta?” Him: "Yes.” (Me too)

(On the phone) Me: “Where are you?” Him: “We are across the street from a large Jewish-like candle thing.” Me: “I got it, I’m Jewish and it’s a menorah.” His name was…Christian.

The older woman was angry she had to wear a mask in my car and did not talk during the ride. Getting out she said, “I hope you don’t die with that on, it gave me pneumonia. I usually tip extra for this, but not when you do something like this.”

"The 12-year-old girl grew up in Hawaii. “My friends and I were convinced that snow was made up by mainlanders to make us look bad in Hawaii. When I was 9, I was in New York and it started snowing and I ran out of the house yelling, “It’s real, it’s real.” I sent a message to my friends in Hawaii, but they thought I was lying.”



Sunday, January 1, 2023

Favorite December Rider Comments

I was going to ask the young woman my trivia question about the Ravenel Bridge, so I said, "You know the Ravenel Bridge?" She said, "It's my last name." Me: "Your last name is Ravenel?" She: "Yes, R A V E N E L." Are you related to Arthur Ravenel, who the bridge is named after?" She: "Yes, he's my uncle. He's 95 and I was just with him for Thanksgiving."

She told her supervisor, "I can control my mouth or my face, but not both."

A woman who is in recovery told her boss at the barbecue place, "If I could smoke meth all day and do nothing, I can certainly smoke meat. I'm going to get a t-shirt that says, "I smoke meat, not meth."

I asked the woman, "What do you think the Ravenel Bridge was built to look like?" She said, "Missouri," but she meant the arch in St. Louis.

The GPS said, "Pick up the Greek letter symbol G." His name was Gotti and he wasn't Greek, but the font was different for his name and he thought it was hilarious.

 She: "I like the idea of people, but when they open their mouth I know why I need to have alone time."

Young man who lives locally talking about Mt. Pleasant: "I was in a liquor store and girls were wearing see-through shirts. That's how they are in Mt. Pleasant."

The woman in her 80's said, "My brother moved from South Jersey to Montana in 1980. Someone put LSD in the salad at the local steak house and his 7-year old daughter was told that she couldn't go to a dance unless she had a date. He said, 'That's enough.'"

Her daughter is 6. "I still remember the first time she gave me that  "What The F _ _ _ _" look."

The woman had a rough year which included a divorce. She said, "2022 can F _  _ _  a duck," which I believe is an original comment.  She's going to publish a children's book next year and she added, "I'm going to kick ass in 2023."

One of the three women pointed at another and said, "My first ex, was her second ex.  We used to hate each other and now we're going to a concert together. The third woman joked she was their daughter.

She's a substitute teacher and with a Doctorate in English and she is asked sometimes by students, "Are you a real doctor?" She usually says with a smile, "Put it this way, if you suddenly fall down with a heart attack-you're going to die."

She and her husband moved from Buffalo NY which has brutal winters to Detroit, Michigan: "Our first winter day in Detroit was -45 degrees. We found out that the cold in Detroit causes the snow in Buffalo. You have to have serious long underwear in Detroit."

Young guy, "I had the worst pizza in my life last last night. I ordered it and it was cold and I threw up all night. I threw up pieces." Me: "You wouldn't happen to have any pictures, would you?"

Growing up in the South, her dad always complained about "The Yankee" doing something. She said, "I didn't know until he died that he was born in New York."

The security guard explained why he wore steel shoes: "I can't throw a punch, but no one wants to be kicked by a steel toe."

Working at a restaurant, he said, "I'm the only one who says yes all the time.  You have to use your power for good not evil."

The CPA said on Saturday at 9 am, "It's going to be a long day. I'm going to take a nap first."

She: "We were friends for 13 years and one day I had a glass of wine and now we're together."

Woman: "Why do men call you so much? They are so clingy."

I told him that I had never been to Jamaica and he said, "You should take a small vacation to Jamaica for two to three weeks."

She: "I'm obsessed with animals.  I grew up with 8 dogs, 5 cats and 8 fish in a fish tank."

The guy said he sells beer and I told him I had a salesman who said, "I sell software in my underwear." He replied, "I'm better drinking and talking and I wear pants, it sucks."

Her name is Kingsley, which is mostly an English boys name. In 2021 there was only 224 girls named Kingsley. "I like having a unique name and one day I'll name my daughter Annistyn."

Man who retired and then unretired: "When I retired, my wife thought that all my down time was hers."

36-year-old man: "The forties are the best times of our lives."

He: "When I lived in South Korea I took up biking and biked the 400 miles along the border of the country in five days."

He: "Whenever I get in an Uber I learn something."

The two young couples had been drinking. After telling them I had a 33-year-old daughter, one woman said, "You look like you're 32." Me: "I did just say I had a 33-year-old daughter." She replied, "You never know." When I showed a picture of my wife, she said, "She's beautiful, you got game."

"I became a chef because I saw how much food costs and now I get free food every day."

She was going to church on Christmas Day with several bags and wrapped containers. "I have 96 chocolate cookies for people." Me: "You couldn't make another four to round it off?" She: "I was up all night. I have to make more for people who aren't getting any today."

She: "I had 10 sisters and one brother. I lost one sister in the church shooting here(in Charleston) a few years ago, but we honor the nine people lost every year."

"I miss living in New York, but not enough to go back."

The mother of two teenagers said, "I'd like to see the internet go out for three months.  Some people would be out of their mind."

She: "When I was seven I was concerned that Santa wouldn't be able to visit since we didn't have a chimney. My mom said he would come through the fire escape, but I didn't believe her."

The female welder said, "Welding is drawing with fire."

The intelligent chef said, "Knowledge is the weapon to conquer the world."

"My dad always said if you have fun with what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."

Getting out of the car he said, "Why are you so nice?" Me laughing: "I'm from New Jersey."

I told them I drove from Myrtle Beach to Charleston just to pick them up. She looked at all the money in my car from other countries and said, "Did you go to all these places to pick up riders too?"

                                                        HOLIDAY STORIES

She used to be a server at Waffle House and said, "I always spent time talking with my customers. It was Christmas Day and I was talking with an older woman and we were sharing some of the personal things we were going through at the time. She told me that every Christmas Day she goes to another Waffle House and eats chocolate chip pancakes because that's the last meal her son had before she lost him. When she was leaving I said, 'I'll see you next time', but she said, 'You won't see me again.' I thought maybe she was really sick or she was my guardian angel. Her bill was on the table and she left me a $75 tip. I kept the bill." (She texted it to me an hour later and it said in big letters: "PROUD of YOU!")

She told me about her ex-husband who was in the Marine Corps seventeen years ago. "He was supposed to be home for Christmas, but the plans changed and they had him overseas in the Middle East and they weren't allowing him home until the end of January. We were disappointed and worried about him. I was with his parents on Christmas Day and his dad went out and picked him up and he just walked through the door to surprise us.  It was a special moment and his mom was crying because she didn't know he was coming home either."

She: "When I was about 10 years old, my friend came over three days after Christmas. She was wearing a beautiful pin on her shirt and I loved it.  I told my mom and she said that I got the same one. We argued until she realized that she forgot to give us all of our presents. She was hiding them because we would open them and seal them back up. She forgot where she hid them, we teased her for years about this. I have kids now and I've done the same thing, sometimes I forget where I've hid the gifts."

She: When I was 9, we didn't have a lot, but I found some presents with my name on it in my grandmother's closet. I opened them up and took them and put them in my closet. I got whupped good by her and she gave all my presents to my sister." Handing her the gift card I said, "This doesn't make up for all the presents you lost, but now when you tell the story it has a better ending." She was very happy.

Taking her to her company Christmas party, she told me, "Last year at the party, I was new and they pulled names from a hat and gave away money, up to $5,000.  I won $300."



He: "When I was 22 I had a few days off and we wanted to get pizza-in New York. The five of us drove from Charleston to New York and stayed over night with someone. The next day we got two pies and drove home. We had a great time."

His family was in an airbnb when the hurricane hit recently in Florida. He said, "We were moving into our new house in a few days, but it was delayed. The roof was damaged, but we had one of the first houses to get repaired. The storm lasted 12 hours and we stayed in the airbnb. The owner wanted to kick us out, because our lease was over, but with the State of Emergency we were able to stay. She lived in California and had no idea what was going on. She wanted to get the airbnb ready for the next people, but the building was a mess."

Living in South Korea for 16 years, the American businessman said, "We loved it, it was like living in the U.S. in the fifties."

She said, "If you're not happy in Charleston you only have yourself to blame."

"I got no gifts for Christmas, but the chance to see 2023."

She: "I was having trouble sleeping, but my Uber driver suggested I have a beer. I had half a beer one night and slept well."

He: "Whenever I get in an Uber I learn something."

After taking pictures of my foreign bills hanging in my car, korean woman said that through her app she had "only a hundred friends will get to see this."

The Bojangles manager said, "Some people don't like to work." Me: "Do you mean employees or people you interview?" She: "A little bit of both."

He: "I've had 450 Uber rides this year and only one problem. The guy was playing some loud, monster type music. I've never heard anything like it.  I wanted to get out of the car and when I did, I looked around to see if I was being filmed."

She: "I had a driver in Charleston give me a water and a plastic bag with crackers and Oreos in it when I got out of the car."

She: "In a relationship you have to make sure the shoe fits before you wear them."

Her name is "Blessing." "My mother was having a very difficult time when I was born and they declared me dead with the chord around my neck. They were able to save me, so I'm her blessing."

I told the woman who is used to being single, "I don't know what it's like to be single."  She said, "I'll tell you, it's fun."

He: "My dad always told me to start work early."

From the north, she said, "People down here walk too slow."

The very unique woman accurately said, "You'll never meet anyone like me."

I asked the three people in Charleston, "What are you in town for?" The mother said, "We were here for the murder trial for our son who was killed three years ago. We got justice."

Her name is Wyntre. "My mom was watching TV and someone had a daughter she named Wyntre."

"During the pandemic, the zoom meetings were very important and they are still going on today."

She was telling a joke about Dubai and I misheard the punchline. I thought she said, "Funstuff," but she really said "Flinstones." She lectured me by saying, "It's funnier when you hear the joke the first time."

Man from North Dakota in Myrtle Beach: "The food is so good here. If I lived here I would weigh 500 pounds after at year."

Speaking with a couple who both work with numbers a lot, I asked, "Who is better with numbers?" She said, "He likes people more than I do."

Man who sells plastic pallets: "Wood is not good."

Her first name was Zhreamier. The Zhr in Chinese sounds like a "d", so her first name is pronounced "Dreamier."

Woman is her early fifties(?) said, "Young men on these dating sites are looking for "Sugar Mammas."

At 72 years old, the realtor said that he's, "Having too much fun making money to retire."

Shipping clerk for a lab asks a lot of questions: "I'm 47 and for this for time I'm really excited about going into work."

Speaking with a couple who both work with numbers a lot, I asked, "Who is better with numbers?" She said, "He likes people more than I do."

She hurt her leg in the Army when the driver fell asleep and they crashed going down a hill which forced her out of the army with a disability. She said, "Things work out for the best."

Me: "What do you sell?" She: "I sell people, I'm a recruiter."

He's a hair stylist and said, "I create an experience for my customers."

Deciding not to go into the military like her family, she said, "I prefer not to that way with authority, nothing against the military."

She: "I was not expecting this from my Uber."

Getting out of my car, she said, "You're in the 1%. That's the best ride I've ever had."

Saturday, December 31, 2022

My Favorite Riders in December

     TWO WOMEN AND THE RAVENEL BRIDGE

My story of the Ravenel bridge in Charleston is literally getting better every month.  Last month I asked my trivia question on what the bridge was built to look like to a woman who won an art contest in 3rd grade and was driven by a limo across the bridge as the first car over it in 2005.

This month, one of my first riders the next time I drove in Charleston, I  asked the same question to a young woman and she told me that her name was, "Ravenel." I asked her, "Are you related to Arthur Ravenel, who the bridge was named after?" She replied, "Yes, he's my uncle.  He's 95, I was just with him for Thanksgiving." I was stunned by her answer and I had the picture of  the winning picture of the Ravenel Bridge in 2005 hanging in my car.

The very next rider I had to tell the woman the above story.  She told me that, "The bridge had to be named for Arthur Ravenel because he fought for twenty years to get it built." It cost $635 million to be built. The weekend before it opened they had the roads open for pedestrians to walk across it. This woman walked across the bridge for her family. She told me that she watched the bridge being built since her house and the family store was right next to the bridge. She told me a whole neighborhood was bought out for the bridge, but one guy would not move. They actually took his roof off his house and then he decided to pack up the car to leave. She said, "As a child I also saw the two bridges before that built in the sixties."  She is writing a record of her old neighborhood so her family will have a history of it. Seventeen years after it was built, I have a pretty good story too.

                                        THE PROFESSIONAL CORNHOLE WOMEN

One of my last rides of the year turned out to be one of the most interesting rides of the year.  The two mile ride was with four women from Ohio and Michigan and it was filled with a lot of energy and enthusiasm.  I took them to their cornhole tournament in Myrtle Beach. I got a quick education and was told there are only about 250 professional cornhole players in the country and only 34 women, which includes the women in my car. They are trying to make it an Olympic Event in the future and they have appeared on TV on ESPN.  They all have full-time jobs and travel around the country for tournaments and earn money.  I looked it up online and found out that the best players make around $25,000 a year. One women's husband started playing first and she said, "I got sucked into this and then I got addicted to it."

The American Cornhole Association is located in Rock Hill, South Carolina and they host 25,000 tournaments a year. At a local tournament, a team of two can win up to $3,000.  There are about 100,000 active players in the country. My riders were obviously having a lot of fun and they did not know each other before they started playing.  Below is a picture of us after the ride. Wishing them all much success and I'm looking forward to a longer ride next time.


 

                                               A VERY DIFFERENT WOMAN

In over 9,700 rides I have had maybe ten riders who would stand out in any crowd, on any day. I can tell as soon as they get in the car. It's like being on a roller coaster with your eyes closed and you have no idea where the ride is going, other than to their destination. I would love to have them all over for dinner and just sit back and watch. She said, "You'll never meet anyone like me," and she's right. The first thing she did was do a "Joey from Friends" impersonation which made her sound like a New Yorker, but she wasn't. She has lived in many places including Guam and Hawaii. She loved Hawaii and hopes to get back there next year.  She still feels part of the Hawaiian family although it's been many years since she was there. 

She was told that she couldn't have children, but she gave birth and has a six-year old little girl.  I think her daughter is a lot like her mom. My rider remembers the first time she got, "A What The F_ _ _ _" look from her daughter. She told her boss to pick one: "I can control my mouth or my face, but not both." I could tell she has a strong work ethic and when I told her the she worked like a New Yorker, she laughed. She grew up in the South and her dad would always complain about "The Yankee did this or that." She found out only after he passed away that her dad was born in New York, so she does have New York blood and a whole lot more going for her.

LIVING IN SOUTH KOREA

Possibly the best ride of the holiday weekend was an American businessman who lived in South Korea for 16 years and a few years in China.  He told me that his family "Loved living in South Korea. It was like being in the U.S. in the fifties." He worked for many years with one of the large American car companies. He said, "There are some countries in the world that people don't even know about." He took up biking there and once biked, "The four hundred mile border in five days." Just before the pandemic he tried to send masks back here, but South Korea was very strict about any masks leaving the country. He tried to warn people here what was going to happen, but no one believed him. When he arrived back in the U.S., he said, it was, "Culture shock." He was surprised that there were so many people who didn't want to work. He's looking forward to retiring in a few years, but for sure he's going to be active doing a bunch of things.

                                                            THE PALLET GUY

Having worked in a warehouse as a courier my last full-time job, I've moved a lot of pallets around. My rider was running a fun house and a guy who worked with him had a pallet company.  They decided to join forces in the pallet business. They sell plastic pallets which go for $17-$250 per pallet.  During the pandemic there business grew since wood pallets are much more expensive. Their marketing slogan is, "Wood is Not Good." Working together with his partner he's able to take off 13 weeks a year to follow his passion of traveling. He travels with a group of friends and has had some amazing experiences.  One of his favorite trips was his first trip to Italy. They used an app to find people who like to have a meal with tourists. A small group of them had a five course meal with a woman who was a widow. He told me it was a great experience and meal. We ran out of time, but I know he's had a number of  other interesting travel adventures.

                                                        MONSTER TRUCKS

There are plenty of subjects I know nothing about and monster trucks is definitely one of them.  The short ride to the airport gave me just a little bit of information.  If you don't know much about them, this is a definition: A monster truck is an off-road vehicle that is used for competition and entertainment.  It has four-wheel steering, oversized tires, large, displacements V8 engines and a heavy duty suspension.

The woman I was driving told me that they were meeting with HBO to do more projects with them.  She builds monster trucks and her brother does stunts in the trucks.  I asked her how they got into the family business and she said that, "We traveled for two years with our family when we were younger." They are negotiating with the Discovery channel to do a reality series on their family. 

                                                ENCOURAGING RETIREMENT

The woman from Minnesota was fun to talk with on the long ride to Isle of Palms. Her and her husband may possibly move to the area but her husband keeps putting off retirement.  A dedicated optometrist at for his whole adult life, he's been talking about retiring for several years and is now 67. I talked with her about my semi-retirement and many of the things I've learned from other riders about being retired and being active in several things. He has a bunch of hobbies and he should have little trouble adjusting even if he works or volunteers a couple days a week. I asked her if she wanted me to write a note to her husband and she said yes.  This is what I wrote: "Your wife was delightful to talk with.  Start retiring and spend the rest of your life with her." She was very happy with the note and hopefully she will encourage him further.

                                            




Monday, December 26, 2022

FIVE YEARS IN SOUTH CAROLINA!

It was December 27th, five years ago, that my wife, daughter and I arrived in Myrtle Beach.  My mother-in law was riding with me and we had a caravan of three vehicles that arrived in the dark. We had planned the drive for two days, but didn't count on the four hours of delays the day after Christmas, so we arrived in Richmond, Virginia at 11 pm. the first day.

My wife and I ran out to Publix before they closed to get a few things and what we found was-southern hospitality.  The store was about to close and we walked up to the register and the young man asked if he could take our items out of the cart for us. We looked at each other and said okay, but it was odd. He wanted to bag everything and then he asked if he could walk them out to our car. At this point we were laughing until he got to our car. I popped the trunk and he asked, "Can I put the bags in your trunk?" I said, "If you do, you're going to have to come back and put everything in our refrigerator too."

Looking back at some of my blogs that first month, here are some of the highlights:

1. My friend Larry e-mailed me saying he, "Couldn't wait until I was writing southern." Just letting y'all know, he's still waiting.

2. My mother-in-law tried to encourage me to go to the eye doctor. She said, "If I give you a dollar, will you get your eyes checked?" Keep in mind, she sat next to me for two days and about 17 hours of driving and I never had a problem. I told her, "If you give me a chicken I might consider it." I'm going to have to do that this year.

3. Driving back to Myrtle Beach from Atlanta where I dropped my daughter off at school, I got stuck in a five hour traffic jam because we had a half inch of snow and ice suddenly on the ground. I had to get a hotel room that night at midnight and drove home the next day.  I almost had thrown my shovel in the trunk and I would have made headlines, 'New Jersey man shovels South Carolina highway." Here I am below posing and possibly the only time I'll be holding a shovel in South Carolina.



4. We got our driver's license and in South Carolina you're allowed to smile for the picture.  It still looks good.

5. I did a little ice skating on the beach in sneakers after watching some kids do it. Sorry, no pictures of that, but it would have been a great picture.

6. In discussing building our new house I was told that the toilet was going to be in a little room enclosed by a wall. I told the guy I really didn't want the wall built, but we have it.  I did figure a way around the wall, I use the other bathroom for reading and it is much larger too.

7. At 8 am on a Sunday I was walking out of a supermarket lot with a small bag and it started to drizzle. A car pulling into the lot, suddenly stopped and asked, "Hey buddy, need a lift?" Why would a guy going into the lot stop a complete stranger in a light drizzle and offer a ride? What's wrong with these people? (Answer: I'm from Jersey and they are southern.)

8. Finally, the biggest news of the month was something my wife and kids were very excited about-I was finally getting rid of my flip phone and joining the new generation with an i-phone.  This is what I said in my blog in mid-January: "I told our mortgage guy I was "Making the switch." He said, "Don't do it, it's the downfall of society. When I got my i phone my beard was black and now it's grey." I don't have a beard, will I be able to grow hair back now? I told my dad on the phone yesterday that I was going to get a "real" phone. He said, "You mean a landline?" I guess I can call it anything I want-maybe George."

The five years have gone by quickly, but it has been great.  I'm not southern yet, but I have slowed down some and I'm only "working" three days a week now instead of seven. This is blog number 570. This is some of the highlights from the first month, I'm probably going to have to do one blog on some of my favorite blogs in the next week. You know I'm going to mention Cocoa Krispies and chicken and I know you can't wait.







 




Saturday, December 24, 2022

My Christmas Card to My Wife on Christmas Morning

Merry Christmas to everyone. When my wife wakes up on Christmas morning she is going to find this "card" and I thought as I was finishing it that I would share it with you.


Hi Monika, it’s me, Jim Gaffigan, the comedian. Merry Christmas! Your husband invited me for dinner tonight, but I was booked for Christmas with my wife and 10 kids. Actually, it’s only 5, but sometimes around the holidays I see double-like this.



Since I couldn’t make it for Christmas, I’m coming down to the Charleston Convention Center on Thursday, January 26th and I thought maybe you and your husband could stop by. They’ll be 13,293 other people there, but I’ll be the one on stage.  You two could come down early and maybe we can get some chicken and waffles.  Your husband said that he likes chicken (he wouldn’t stop talking about it) and you like waffles and we would be in the south where everyone loves chicken and waffles.

I know it’s a month after Christmas but he said you have no problem celebrating a holiday on another day.  If you prefer, we could meet at Lewis’s Barbecue. I heard they have the best brisket and your husband said you love brisket.  You decide, your husband said you prefer to choose the restaurant-always.

Hope to see you on the 26th.  Your husband did not buy tickets yet, he said he wanted to make sure you wanted to see me.  I can’t believe that! Bring Toto too, no one will notice you have a dog.

Sincerely: Your favorite comedian…. Sebastian



(P.S. Her favorite comedian may be Sebastian Maniscalco, I mentioned that to Jim)