MY FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS IN 2022

It was a terrific year driving and I met so many incredibly interesting and funny people.  I just started giving out the below list to riders and I will continue to do that for the rest of the year. It is a lot of fun giving people something I know they will enjoy, since I've entertained riders with these comments all year long.  These were the best in 2002:

MY FAVORITE RIDER COMMENTS OF 2022

Lawyer: Paul McCartney was my first crush at age three-he’s the only 80-year-old man I would give up for my 60-year-old man.”                                              

The two women had about ten shopping bags from the outlet mall when I picked them up. I said, “What did you get me?” One woman said immediately, “A speedo.” She paused and added, “Do you know what that is?”

The woman from New York has been living in the South three years. Me: “Have you gotten used to how friendly people are here?” Her: “Yes, and I don’t like it. I prefer rude people where I can give more right back to them.”

Young woman: “When I came out as gay to my family, my 90-year-old grandmother said, ‘I wish I liked women, men suck!’ ”

She got out of my car at noon after a 3-mile ride and handed me $20. “This is for not murdering us. I have a fear of Uber drivers." Me: “Thank you, but you’re wearing a black, Friday the 13^th shirt-I should fear you.”

Him: “When I first arrived in South Carolina from the west coast, I saw a 7-foot gator on the golf course.  I picked it up from its tail and it started hissing.”  Me: “What did you do then?” Him: “I put it down and ran.”

Married ten years they were celebrating his birthday. Me: “Your birthday is more important than my 39^th wedding anniversary tomorrow.” He disagreed, “Anyone who suffers the pain and torture of a woman for that long, it’s more.” His wife added, “She may not be as bad as me.”

“In our old age home is a 108-year-old man. He drives his own truck to church every Sunday and just got a girlfriend in church.”

I asked the 20-year-old woman, “What do you do for work?” She replied, “I’m a part-time traveler.  Each month I take a 3–5-day vacation to a place I haven’t been. I want to be a chef who travels the world.”

He: “It is difficult adjusting to the South from the North. You have to adjust to people waving five fingers at you instead of one.” 

After a fun ride, he said, “You can blow sunshine up our butt anytime-I would have said ass, but I thought I was on Cash Cab.”

Male: “My 16-year-old daughter just told me that she has a boyfriend. She didn’t want to tell me because she was afraid I would scare him.  I just wanted to tell him about guns and graveyards.”

Young woman: “I’m going to a reptile convention. I help rescue exotic animals and right now we’re helping a tarantula.”

She: “We were watching the movie, ‘He’s Just Not into You,’ and I said, ‘I’m not desperate to get married.’ He said, ‘Would you marry me?’ I said I would, and we’ve been married six years. He was the sixth man I was engaged to.” (By age 25)

Male around age 30 in sales: “I talk to a lot of important people for work. We have a stupidity problem in this country.  I told my wife that I have to make enough money to support the next seven generations in our family.”                                                       

 (Couple dating five years) Me: “So you’re still in the dating stage?” Him: We’re actually in the married and just want to kill each other stage, we’re just not married yet."

“When I made pizzas in the Virgin Islands, I told people my pizza tasted so good, because “Happy dudes make happy foods.” 

The woman from New York living in the South for two years is still getting used to how friendly people are. “Just this week the cashier at Publix asked me what I was making for dinner. When we first moved in, a neighbor left a pie on the front porch and I told my husband, ‘Don’t you even think of eating that, it could be poisoned.’”

Her husband is an introvert and getting out my car she said, “You’ve just said more words on this trip than my husband has in 17 years.”

“America” ordered the ride for her sister, who told me that “America” always wanted to come here from Costa Rica.” She lives locally and, “She’s a teacher and her students call her Ms. America.”

He finally accepted he was unique when he was 30 years old. He said, “A good bowl of pasta has a lot of pasta that looks the same, but you have to have spice in that bowl.” Me: “So you’re the spice in a good bowl of pasta?” Him: "Yes.” (Me too)

(On the phone) Me: “Where are you?” Him: “We are across the street from a large Jewish-like candle thing.” Me: “I got it, I’m Jewish and it’s a menorah.” His name was…Christian.

The older woman was angry she had to wear a mask in my car and did not talk during the ride. Getting out she said, “I hope you don’t die with that on, it gave me pneumonia. I usually tip extra for this, but not when you do something like this.”

"The 12-year-old girl grew up in Hawaii. “My friends and I were convinced that snow was made up by mainlanders to make us look bad in Hawaii. When I was 9, I was in New York and it started snowing and I ran out of the house yelling, “It’s real, it’s real.” I sent a message to my friends in Hawaii, but they thought I was lying.”