"SO YOU REALLY LIKE THE BEATLES?" "YES, I SAID, THERE ARE A FEW FANS HERE." I picked up three eighteen year-old boys from England. They are in the army there and will eventually be called for emergency situations. I had a feeling one of them might be from Liverpool and sure enough one of them was. He wanted to know how I knew that, so I told him it was because I'm a big Beatle fan. When I asked him about "The Cavern", the famous club that the Beatles were discovered in, at first he didn't recognize it. Then, he asked if it was the place they have bands play and I said it was. I had to tell three British teenagers how the Beatles were discovered. They seemed surprised about The Beatles' popularity, which doesn't seem possible. I wanted to tell them that the five most famous British people in history were John, Paul, George, Ringo and Churchill, but I refrained myself.
"I FEEL MORE BACHELORETTI NOW" She was going out with the girls for a bachelorette get together for the second straight night. She told me immediately that she just wasn't in the mood. I told her I would help her with that during our ride. For the next 25 minutes we talked continuously about music, some of my riders, and she and her husband did for work. Sometimes a conversation can be uncomfortable or forced, but we talked like we were old friends just catching up. When she got out of the car she really did say, "I feel more bacheloretti now" and I actually thanked her for the ride.
THE LOBBYIST: It's unusual to meet a lobbyist if you're outside Washington D.C., but this lobbyist for the travel industry worked 12 years on the staff of a congressman. It turns out that the congressman was from my former state of NJ. We had a great conversation about Congress and congressional staff and some of the issues that have been in the news.
"I'M JEFFREY, THE UBER DRIVER" The voice that said that was not mine, but a woman in the back seat of my car. I was driving her and three of her friends somewhere and they had been out having a good time. There was more laughter on that ride that maybe any other I've ever had. The woman, who is a fourth generation children's shoemaker and runs the business, said I should come up to Pennsylania and shovel some of her snow. (I told her I brought a shovel to South Carolina) I replied, "who said that and she said, "I'm Jeffrey, the Uber diver." She said that she was me and I was her. I said, "how am I going to explain this to my wife?" To add to the silliness, her boyfriend's name is Jeffrey! When I told the group I was from Phillipsburg, New Jersey, another woman proudly boasted, "I've been to the Chic-fil-A there." I asked her, " how many drinks brought that comment on?" It would be easy to say they were drunk, but they really weren't. A better explanation was that they were drunk on the happiness of being together with good friends. I enjoyed being a part of their group for twenty minutes and they asked to be sent a copy of this blog which I am sending out to them.
"SHE PUT HER NUMBER IN YOUR BAG" I was driving a 22 year old male and he wanted to stop at Bojangles, the chicken place, to get some biscuits. He wanted to go through the drive-thru and I saw him eyeing the girl at the window. When she was putting his order in the bag I told him that she dropped her phone number in his bag. For a split second, I had him believing it might have happened. He said he's going to go back there and I'm sure he will.
"THIS IS THE WORST JOB" You could probably come up with dozens and dozens of jobs that you might consider "the worst job," but one morning an airline pilot tried to convince me that his job was the worst. "Pilots are whiny and we switch jobs every 18 months." Not a Union pilot he was unhappy with his pay although he had been a pilot for 32 years. He told me he's only able to eat once a day,because he's worked so hard. I said, "I eat about five times a day and I'm snacking right now." He accused me of rubbing it in. When we got out of the car I had one little donut left and I offered it to him, but he turned me down. He was whiny, but he was eager to share his thoughts with me.
"YOU'RE THE GUY WHO TOLD ME HOW MCDONALD'S MADE THEIR MONEY" I picked up three cadets in Charleston and the guy in the backseat thought I drove him before. Suddenly, he remembered what I said about McDonalds and I knew I had driven him. Previously, I had quizzed his friends if they could guess how McDonalds made their fortune and they had a lot of fun trying to get the answer. I did it a second time with these new cadets and explained that all the McDonald stores are owned by the corporation and all the franchisee owners paid rent for the building and property of their franchise, which resulted in their fortune. The answer: real estate.
"AYE" I picked up two Canadian couples who have visited Murrells Inlet(just south of Myrtle Beach) many times. Somehow, they hadn't been to some of the biggest attractions in the area so I started planning their next trip for them. We got to talking about Canadian politics and prime Minister Trudeau and his recent problems. As they were leaving,I wanted to say something special for them so I said, "bonsoir" which is "good evening' in French. The woman said, "we don't speak French." So I tried again and went to say "aye"(which Canadians say a lot), but it came out sounding like "eye," which they laughed at and corrected. I joked that I just said the wrong letter.
'THIS IS THE BEST UBER VEHICLE I'VE EVER SEEN!" I started laughing when the airline pilot told me this as I dropped him off at the airport. He then started listing all the great features of my van, just moments before getting into a cockpit. I told him that he sounded like a commercial for my van.
"I BUILD HOSPITALS" This guy told me he was in construction, but he didn't look like he was 30. He goes to a city and works there for 9-12 months depending on the size of the hospital and his company pays for whatever apartment he rents.
"I CALL EVERY GAS STATION "KANGAROO" This comment sounds absurd, but down here there are gas station convenience stores called, "Kangaroo, Turtle Market, or Circle K(not the service organization. My rider was going to one and told me he was going to the kangaroo.
"I PASS GAS FOR A LIVING" My first ride on a Sunday morning cracked me up with that comment. In the first couple minutes I asked him what he did for work and instead of telling me he was an anesthesiologist he told me, "I pass gas for a living." He said he doesn't use that line on everyone, but he knew right a way that I would enjoy it.
"YOU SHOULD BE A SPORTSWRITER" I picked up two good friends from Connecticut, one a Yankee fan and one a Red Sox fan. They were saying how the rivalry isn't what it used to be. When I mentioned the great pennant race in 1978 between the two teams, both of them had blank looks on their faces. I gave them a five minute synopsis of the amazing race. The Red Sox great start, the Yankees injuries, the Yankees getting healthy and the Red Sox slumping, The Boston Massacre in September and then the classic final game 163 of the season with Bucky Dent's home run and Hall of Famer's Goose Gossage facing Carl Yastzremski for the final out. I literally had them on their edge of their seat and their last comment was, "you made me feel like I was there."
"HE CAME IN WITH A BANG AND OUT WITH A BANG" The "he" was her son who was actually in Boston plowing snow when he ordered the ride for me to pick-up his mom at the local pharmacy. In a short ten minute trip his mom told me most of her life story and was filled with great lines like this: "My son could have any girl, he's so handsome." "In high school he was dating two girls and one of them jumped out of his bedroom window so I wouldn't see her." "My son was born on the 4th of July and nine months earlier I was in the back seat of a car." (re-read her first quote) "I'm lonely, but I'm not desperate. I may have to go back up north to get a guy to come down here before I can't have any more fun." (I really can't type her explicit comments on this, but she said it three different times) My wife's explanation was that she was flirting with me. I have not flirted in 38 years and I know things have changed, but, THAT WAS NOT FLIRTING!
"STAY AWAY FROM IT-IT'S AN AWFUL GAME: A golfer gave me this advice after I told him I've only played golf one time. He said that one day you feel like you've learned something and the next day, "it looks like you bought your clubs on the way to the course."
"I WAS A LITTLE GRUMPY GETTING OUT OF WORK, BUT AFTER THIS RIDE YOU REALLY CHANGED MY MOOD" She didn't seem grumpy to me. She was 33 years old and told me her inspiring story. In high school she was 11th in her class, but she had to drop out due to family problems. She put herself through cosmetology school, became a hair stylist, went to a four year college, opened her own salon, works as an independent contractor for a hair company where she travels and does hair and teaches hair styling and she owns two houses. I told her she was a terrific role model and when she said that I changed her mood, I told her that I got more out of the ride than she did. She also gave me a very generous tip.
THE OPERA STUDENT: She goes to school locally as a music major, but she just won a contest singing opera. When I asked her what her voice sounded like, she was willing to sing a line of opera and I heard her remarkable voice. When she got in my car the sun was shining, but when she got out the sky was full of clouds. I said to her, "remember, even if the clouds are out, your voice will always make the sun shine for others."
"I'M SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW" The 26-year old woman showed no signs of her drinking when she got in my car at 9:30 am on a Saturday morning. We talked for thirty minutes on a wide range of subjects including her explaining her job in a lot of detail. I told her that I didn't have much experience with people who are drunk, but she sounded perfectly sober. I also told her that drinking never meant much to me and I have a beer or two a year and have never smoked. Her response was, "are you a tri-athlete?" (stop laughing) This was the only moment I questioned her sobriety. Maybe since I was wearing shorts she saw my muscular legs? (continue laughing)
"THE SEAT BELT" I picked up a guy from New York who owned his own IT company. He had just gotten approval for a device that prevents the driver from turning on a cell phone while the car is running. It was his second patent and he takes after his grandfather who, according to him invented the seat belt for airplanes in the 1940's. He gave me a lot of details about what his grandfather did, but I was unable to find his grandfather's name online, but I do believe him.
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