"It was such a nice day I decided to walk to the airport."(from North Myrtle Beach(20 miles away) with a heavy suitcase and he gave up after an hour.)
"I've been married 51 years, but my wife has been married 61 years. She says that I've made it seem ten years longer."
"When I retired, I was an Uber driver for one month just to piss off my kids. They didn't think I would do it, but I enjoyed it."
Female in her 20's: "I'm unique. I enjoy reading Shakespeare while I listen to classical music."
Me: "How are you managing the 70-30% ratio of girls to guys at The College Of Charleston?" Him: "It's the best thing in life. The girls are making us smarter."
I asked the College of Charleston student, "what is the college best known for?" She surprised me when she answered, "the clap."
Three male College of Charleston students: "When we were recruited at our high school the recruiter called us over and said, "the school is 70% women. We had spent 18 years living in Charleston, another four years couldn't be too bad."
Grandfather: "If I could have had grandchildren first, I would have."
Him: "When I first got tested for Covid, it was like they were pushing up to my brain and swabbing my eyeballs through my nose."
Talking about a male friend, he said, "He has a lot of confidence with women, for no real reason."
"Sometimes I think people down here have had their brains melted by the sun."
The big Dallas Cowboy fan said, "My husband said he would not date a Dallas Cowboy fan. We've been married 10 years." Me: "How did you overcome that?" Her: "I'm irresistible." He added, "We went straight to the altar."
Male from Philly, "When I first came down south, the people were so nice I thought they were mocking me."
Wife: "It's his 45th birthday today. He's going to get more today than anyone else will in this Uber."
"I've always wanted to work in a dispensary since I love smoking weed."
"In Minnesota you're nice to your neighbors because if you're not, they'll freeze and die and you might be the next one to go."
She: "When I first came down here I was trying to find a doctor's office and I asked a man on the side of the road. He told me to turn after "Horse Trader," so I was looking for something that said that. I finally gave up, called the office and told the receptionist what he said. She put me on hold and then had the entire office on speaker listening to me tell the story and they all burst out laughing. The man with the thick southern accent said, "Harris Teeter" not "Horse Trader."
Female owner of a bakery, "Do you want to deliver bread for us? Our last driver drove our truck into a pond.'
Me: "I'm from New Jersey." She:(laughing) "I thought you were doggone Southern."
A woman who had a couple drinks, said something and patted me on the shoulder. Her friend lectured her, "we've talked about not hitting someone when you speak to them."
When she received my top 20 rider comments of 2020 she said, "This is my favorite thing!" Me: Even better than ice cream?" She replied, "yes!"
Woman: "I had an Uber driver accept the ride and not move for ten minutes and then he called me. He said, "I'm on my way, I just got out of the shower."
After explaining that I could have used an ice scraper this morning for my windshield, the southerner said, "where would you buy an ice scraper?
Male bartender: "Bartending is like babysitting for adults."
How men and women react when they get my yearly list of favorite rider comments: Male- "We'll take a look at it." His fiancee: "I'm so excited to read this. We'll read it during dinner. Thank you."
I stopped at a gas station for her and she ran back out and said, "do you have two quarters?" Me: "I do." A minute later she ran out and said, "do you have a dime?" Me: "I do." When she got back in the car I said, "what did we buy?" She: "cigars." Me: I was hoping to get a couple bites out of a candy bar." Her: I told my boyfriend to give you a good rating and a tip." (still waiting, should have taken a cigar)
Me: "How are you adjusting to being newly retired?" Him: "I don't know, I'm taking a lot of naps."
Former male Uber driver: "My favorite ride was with five girls having a bachelorette party. They were hanging out the window and wanted me to stop and have a beer with them, but I'm married."
"We were going to drive up to Myrtle to hand out at Top Golf.(2 hours away)
"We were celebrating our 22 year-old daughter's birthday. Doing shots with twenty year olds is a tough job."
Female Nurse: "Three years ago I had brain and neck surgery. I burst a ligament when I picked up a box of paper not realizing it was full. My injury was similar to the one that Christopher Reeves had."
Female: "I had a burger for breakfast just the other day."
"I think racial tensions started when Obama was elected."
"In North Dakota it's freezing all the time."
"There were only 14 kids in my grade in North Dakota."
"Pro football isn't the same since they started disrespecting the flag."
"I moved here on a whim from Boston. I was tired of the cold weather and just looked up houses in South Carolina and bought something here.
Why do women love Charleston? She said, "It has a lot of character."
When I told her about the woman who said I gave her "a magical evening ride," she commented, "she made it sound like you pulled up in a horse and carriage."
"I like talking to everyone, even homeless people. They have interesting stories and it helps break up their day."
"My Dad has a rare illness. If anyone around him is sick, he gets it and spends 24-48 hours puking. He has no immune system."
"My doctor said he doesn't lecture me about being overweight because I'm very healthy due to a lot of exercise."
"I love nursing, because my Dad was a nurse. He was always dressed in white and I thought he was so important."
"I haven't slept in three days, I've been drinking a lot."
"I made $700 last night as a DJ and I just signed an exclusive contract. I'm living the dream."
"As a second mate on a freighter I work around 40 straight days going to about a dozen ports and then do the same thing over again before I get 4 months vacation."
The older woman explained to me that she used to have two large dogs which were over one hundred pounds each and then she started doing impressions of how the dogs sounded. They didn't sound too good.
"I made two kids with some woman."
He is the only male in a family with seven women-"they talk about nothing and expect me to comment."
Male: "Due to having to quarantine together, my wife and I have a better relationship."
Me to a couple: "How about you stay in my car and make everyone laugh the rest of the day? " She: "Why don't you come with us on our summer road trip this year?"
"After my last divorce I made a list of about 10 things that a woman I dated in the future could not be and she(his wife) has four of them."
Female rider: "This is my daughter, isn't she beautiful?"
Woman in her 20's: "When I had the virus I felt great, never felt better. I was in quaranteen for two weeks, had no symptoms and I didn't have to get up to go to work at 4 am."
"I've wanted to sail around the world since I was ten years old and now I'm doing it."
Me in Charleston: "I live in Myrtle Beach." Him: "Oh God! What are you doing here?" Me: "I knew you needed a ride."
"I was feeling a little down when I got in your car, but after seeing your sign (if you can't see the sunshine, be the sunshine), I feel differently."
"I lived more life before I was 30 than most people do all their life."(Motorcycle Champion)
"The two fastest growing stocks this year will be in cannabas and space travel."
"If you call a restaurant in DC. and they are busy, they'll just hang up on you. That doesn't happen in the south."
Pharmacist: "I know several pharmacists who had breakdowns, because they didn't have enough help and they were just overwhelmed with the workload.
"My Uber driver was driving way too fast and I asked her several times to slow down. She finally did after missing a turn and then she passed a cop. I gave her a 1 rating and complained. She then reported me for not wearing a mask which she made up and Uber believed her and didn't have my back."
"I've done all kinds of jobs in my life including starting out as a "Beach Monkey" here in Myrtle Beach.(helping lifeguards)
"On my day off I sit outside and eat breakfast and drink Bloody Mary's."
"I decided to be a Buffalo Bill's fan instead of a New York Giant fan because it was cheaper to go to Buffalo for a game than New York."
"When I was a kid I would help shovel out the Buffalo Bill's stadium and they would give all the workers a free ticket to the game."
She: "He had to quit his job when we got married and he opened up his own business and now we make a shit load of money."
Sean texted me when I accepted the ride; "You're a lifesaver-I'm definitely going to tip you." When he got in my car he thanked me again. Me: "Before I give you the ride, what is the name of my only son?" (Panic in his eyes) He said, "Sean?" Me: You have yourself a ride!"(still waiting on the tip)
Pulling up to the guard shack she told me to tell the guard, "I'm driving Miss Daisy."
My rider lives in a neighborhood that has only one street that goes a few miles straight down with only one way in and out. "When I first moved here there were several times I thought I passed my house I'm so far down the road."
On the College of Charleston campus which is dominated by women, a woman living nearby said about the guys, "there are a lot of Peter Pan's here, this is like Neverland for them."
"It's very difficult doing business down here, because of how slow the pace is."
"In Ohio if someone was as nice as the people here, they would think they are being set-up for something.
Female flight attendant: "It's up to you to create your positivity and attitude."
Male: "I've had some really neat things happen to me in my life. I once got a free trip to Mexico to purchase tequila."
"The CEO of one of the biggest companies in Charleston was drunk and crashed his car on the Ravenel Bridge and had serious injuries. They swept in under the rug and he didn't get a DUI."
"If I was a black person I wouldn't be living in the South."
"As a bartender, I have better sympathy and understanding for drinkers."
"Chicago is seven months of cold."
Pro softball player: "Every time I go back home to New York they have a snowstorm."
Speaking about the virus he said, "there is a lot of good that comes out of bad."
"How are you managing with the 70-30% ratio of women to men at the school?" Male student, "I'm not complaining."
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