When And Why Is No Really A No?

Have you ever tried to convince someone to do something or change their mind?  You try and try and try and they just say, "no." These days that could apply to many people about many things.  Did you ever wonder why some people are just so stubborn, or strong-willed, or opinionated, or independent, or adamant, or determined, or dogged, or headstrong, or inflexible, or ornery or persistent? If you hadn't before, you're thinking about that person and that subject right now. The following story may help you answer that question, "when and why is no sometimes really a no?"

A friend of mine who I'll call Jay.(It's really his dog's name, but I've been told not to use real names) Jay,(my friend, not the dog),  drives tractor trailers across the country. He used to work for me and I can tell you that he is a good guy, a hard worker, funny, outspoken, independent and he can give a manager nightmares. (not me of course) He has worked for many companies and I've joked in the past that when one of his managers left their job that they were taken away in a white coat. I also volunteered to write a letter to any manager who was having difficulty with him since I used to manage him.

His company promised him 3,000 driving miles a week, which is how he gets paid.  They haven't made that happen after two years, so he's annoyed with them.  Recently, they asked Jay,(not the dog), to do a short trip of forty miles and he said, "no," for a number of reasons.  There is such a great demand for drivers, my friend knows that if they let him go, he could have a job in a few days.  The company once again this week set him up for a short ride and he refused it. He was a little frustrated that they didn't understand the word no.

Jay,(not the dog), said to me, "I was born saying no." He told me the following true story.  "When I was 3 or 4, my grandmother visited and my mom wanted me to give her a kiss and I said, "no." My mom took out a five dollar bill and said, "if you kiss your grandmother I'll give you this." I looked at my grandmother and looked at the five dollars and said, "no."

Jay,(my friend), joked that his mom gave his grandmother the five dollars to change his diaper. I told him to send his supervisor an e-mail saying that right now he's not going to do short trips, but if he changes his mind, he'll let them know.  I told him to type this story out and they will laugh and remember this when they consider giving him another short ride.  It would have taken him ten minutes, but what was his answer to me, "no." I told him that I was so certain that this would help, that I would type it up and if he gave me his supervisor's e-mail address, I would send it to her.  He said, "no."

When you want to convince someone to change their mind or do something that you want them to do, give it your very best shot. A book I have is titled, "All You Can Do, Is All You Can Do, and All You Can Do Is Enough." If the answer is still, "no," after giving it your best shot, you're done.  Remember my friend Jay's grandmother and what is below.  

I can hear my children right now saying, "Dad, you should have turned this around the right way." My answer is simply, "no."