The mother said, "Arkansas is a terrible state." When I said that Bill Clinton had a library in Little Rock where they lived, the 14 year old boy said, "we don't condone him."
The recently engaged man said to me about first meeting his fiancee, "she has rich parents which kept me interested for awhile."(joking behind her back)
Former Uber driver: "I'd rather be pissed off, than pissed on."
He said, "Elon Musk's daughter's name is an equation." It is X AE A -Xii.
The three close friends, sorority sisters, were on a girl's weekend. One woman: "I don't think we've said anything funny to make your list of favorite comments." Another woman pointing to the third woman, a lawyer, " I have it. We have known her for 17 years and this is the first time we've seen her boobs."
Insurance agent: "I had a couple in my office and the husband said, "How can you expect us to pick what kind of insurance to get, we can't even decide when to have sex."
Retired and now a limo driver: "My best day for tips was recently when I made $1,150 in one day which included a $200 tip during the day and a $700 tip on a $600 bill in the evening."
Her: "My nickname is "Moon." As a baby when I cried they showed me the moon and I stopped crying. I had a lot of male cousins and when I got a little older I would drop my pants and moon them."
"My friend and I were at a bar in New York and we looked online and saw that we could get tickets for the Michigan game for only $20. We got in our car and drove to Michigan without telling anyone. My girlfriend made me sleep on the couch for two weeks."
Me: "How long have you lived in Memphis?" Him: "too long." Me: "What's the best thing about living in Memphis?" Him: "Leaving."
Two female police officers from Florida: "I sometimes hesitate to tell people what we do since some people love us and some people hate us."
Woman: "I work in research and development for a spirit company- I'm a supertaster." (they have more than 30 tastebuds on part of their tongue) "I really don't like how bananas taste."
Me to guy in his early 20's: "Did your strict upbringing give you a strong work ethic?" Him: "Absofuckinglutely."
Woman: "We were celebrating her birthday and we did drink a lot. We weren't drugged, mugged, or raped, but I did shake a tree a bit."
Insurance agent: "We had a very good customer who was having a mail order wedding, so we had it in our office. We decorated with a lot of white, not knowing that white in Chinese represents death.(bride was chinese)
Woman: "I like the wind and air here, we don't really have wind in Ohio."
Me: "What kind of lawyer are you?" Him: "A good one."
"There was a 1947 Rolls Royce at the wedding we just attended here. There are only two in the world."
Florida resident: "I'm not going to be taking my kids to Disney World, it's too commercialized."
Business owner with 85 employees: "I told my staff, if you're vaccinated and you get sick, I'll take care of it, but if you're unvaccinated and you get it, it's "fuck'n up to you."
Me: "What do you do for work?" Male: "I have 5 R&B's, I'm a slumlord."
"I plowed snow in upper state New York where we had 140 inches of snow in the winter. One time there was 54 inches that came down in 24 hours. We had to clear the roof to open the front door."
Visiting from Boston he said, "People are like in slow motion down here."
"I'm not into politics at all but when President Obama closed the pipeline for 18 months I lost $400,000." (Welder)
"My husband is an ICU nurse and he has seen so many people die violently without their family, it's been very difficult on him."
Mother: "My two year old has an Italian accent, she's saucy."
"Uber makes it too easy not to drive drunk."
After the man from Boston said the word "Karrr"(not car), he said, "I don't have an accent."
Male: "I'm from Louisiana. I can only go so long without a woman."
Woman: "We've been engaged for four years. Getting married is on our to do list."
Father: "My son and I had the talk this past week about how fortunate he is and how he should appreciate what he has. We ended up hugging and crying on the couch, so I think he got the message."
Black male: "I'm a software developer making games for a cartoon called "Afro Man" which enlightens and inspires young children."
Woman: "When I was 11, I wanted a bathing suit and my Dad said, "If you want it, go out and earn it." I started working in a clothing store to get clothes and at 15, I was running a small store."
Two young men from Honduras working here on a visa: "We're coming back here early next year, we love America."
Two cops from Maryland: "We're in town for SWAT Training." Me: "Where is the training?" Him: "Yes." Me: "I was going to ask if it was top secret." Him: "No, not top secret, but yes."
Me: "I really don't have any good Ohio stories other than I've been told they are bad drivers." She: "So in addition to being bad drivers, we're boring?"
Me: "When you retired five years ago, was it an easy transition?" Her: "No, I went into therapy and I'm still there. If you're waking up with nothing on your schedule to do, it's depressing."
His Dad was in the Navy, so as a child, 4-7 years old, he lived on an island off Italy. "I came home to Philadelphia when I was 7 and it was 1976, The Bicentennial. They were having parades and celebrations and I thought America was like that all the time."
"The Uber driver told me that he was taking the half dozen married women to a Gay strip club so they could have fun without being bothered. He also said recently he took a few guys there purposely who were not looking for a Gay strip club."
She: "The world doesn't spread enough kindness."
Employee of The Kansas City Chiefs: As I dropped her off at the airport she said, "If you promise not to mug me, I can show you something," She showed me her Super Bowl Ring from 2020 and allowed me to take a picture of it on my finger. The ring is worth $70,000 now.
"I'm headed to New York today. I'm the DJ for the 9-11 benefit with Dave Chappelle at Madison Square Garden." "I owe my radio career to a pug that got lost on 9-11 in the attack, but eventually turned up okay. I call him "Devil Dog."
Two men: "We were both there on 9-11 in two of the smaller World Trade Center buildings. When the first plane hit we ran out and somehow bumped into each other. We escaped by water ferry. One of my cousins survived after being on the 82nd floor. One of my friends didn't make it. It was his first day back from his wife having a baby that week."
I asked the white couple in their mid to late 20's who had been dating 6 months: "how did you meet?" They replied: "Our families arranged it. They knew each other and invited us out to dinner and didn't tell us the other one was coming until we were on the way. There were two open seats at the end of the table next to each other and when we talked, the table went quiet."
The blind couple told me, "During the pandemic we've done 5,000 zoom calls as a support group for blind people which has spread out to other countries."
Advice: "It's important to smell the flowers and blow out the candles."(letting things go)
Man about his wife sitting next to him, "Everything she says is unusual."
Restaurant Consultant: she said, "I'm required to drink on my job, but I can't drive home."
The morning of 9-11: She said, "I was there that morning. I just got to work at the Hyatt which was not close to the attack. I was there about 12 hours before walking over the Brooklyn Bridge with my brother." (I dropped her off and looked at the clock which said 9:11)
"I know a lot of miserable rich people."
"My wife does financial work for a woman who sells undergarments for women that covers their private parts and she sells thousands of them."
"90% of hip hop sales are from white people."
Woman from California, "I was approached in a restaurant and the guy said, "you're not from here. I can tell from how you dress and how you present yourself."(meant as a compliment)
Young couple dating three years: He said, "she asked me recently what I love about her and I said, "you're pretty, beautiful and I love your glow."
Male: "My name is Miachel, I'm named after my Dad. However, his brother and mother call him Michael and I saw his name once in the newspaper as Micheal."
Woman said to me: "My advice is, never work for a fast food place when you're pregnant." Me: "As a 61 year old male, I'm going to follow that advice."
Woman: "I'm crashing the wedding with my girlfriend."
She said, "A lot of people are moving from California to Tennessee where we live. Many of us say, "You're welcome to enjoy our beautiful state, but leave your politics at home."
"We have a saying in Tennessee, "Don't California our Tennessee."
"Denver is awesome."
Woman: "I majored in Art and I'm doing accounting work for a company now." Me: "So, they wanted someone creative working on their books?"
Tennis coach: "Pickle ball is not a fad. I knew a guy in college who was an average player and he went pro as a pickle ball player."
Male: "When the kids moved out we said, "we're rich."
Just arriving in town the two women took a bunch of brochures from my car and said, "you're awesome, you're our one stop shop."
Bartender: "One Christmas party a fight broke out and they knocked over the Christmas tree and broke all the lights."
Couple from New Jersey who bought a house here. Husband: "We can't move down here until her mom goes somewhere."(88)
I asked two mustang enthusiasts: "What's the best thing about mustangs?" One of them said, "everything" and the other said, "nothing," at the same time.
Me: "What do you sell?" Woman: "I sell trash." (gets new customers for collection)
Recovered from brain surgery: "you have to talk about what you want. It creates the belief and attracts what you desire."
Male: "I can't eat bad food."
Fireman: "You don't become a fireman to make money."
Retired from 45 years of owning an Italian Restaurant: "I used to tell people in the business that we need to create something so customers can eat our food for breakfast."
Young woman about getting engaged: "I don't want to get engaged on a holiday, I just want it to be on a regular day."
"My Dad said, "if you're going to live in this house you're going to have to be a Yankee and Giant fan."
Young woman: "I do miss the people in the south living out in California, but I do hang out there with a lot of east coast people."
Male accountant: "Anyone can do accounting, but treating people the right way is the most important thing."
The couple is spending a few weeks visiting southern towns to see where they would like to visit more or possibly live. When I told him I suggested that to my wife he said, "Tell her that you saw your future."
Restaurant at Broadway at the Beach: "We lost 12 people since COVID started who went to real estate school."
Me: "How do you slow down as someone newly retired?" Him:" I don't let anyone put me on their schedule."
Front desk female at hotel- "I'm just not ready to deal with people today."
Yankee fan: "I was working in upper state New York in a guys house that wasn't there. I came across a World Series trophy in a enclosed case. I think it was the Red Sox trophy for 2007 since the home owner was a part owner of the team."
Land surveyor: "There's been a shortage of land surveyors for 25 years." Me: "You should open a school for land surveyors." Him: "Will you run it for me?"
Male owner of real estate office in Florida, "It took almost losing my best friend(38) to the Delta virus, for me to get the vaccine."
Her Mom had a stroke in the past year after constantly watching the news and worrying about the virus. "The news doesn't add anything to your life."
Male engineer: "I tell my kids and any young person-whatever you're going to do in life, get an engineering degree first."
"The weather in San Francisco gets better and better each year."
TSA agent: "There were 41 agents from across the country that came to Myrtle Beach due to the large amount of passengers. Most of them are gone now. It went smoothly, but in New Jersey those people can be snippy with you."
"At the NASCAR race, the cars were so fast that if you blinked you would missed them. They were so loud you had to wear earplugs."
Jokingly he said, "I'll give you at least two stars."
Male doctor from Detroit: "I'm in town for a bachelor party, but I'm flying out right away for a wedding in Ohio-it's pretty much hell."
Woman married 38 years as my wife and I, but she has 11 grandchildren and we're waiting for our first. "You're going to have plenty of grandchildren, I'm already speaking it."
Guy in his 20's, "I love talking about food. I have the same problem you have with chicken being your favorite food."
My nickname is Tripp because there are three John's in our family."(triple)
Him: "When I set up the account on the Uber app, I was worried about losing my money, so I made up my name as "Cash." (only rider all day to give cash tip)
Insurance agent: "My client asked me what kind of carpet I should get in his house."
"The people here are much nicer than in Philly."
"The last time I was in Myrtle Beach it rained every day. When I looked at the forecast and saw rain every day I thought this would be the worst vacation."
Young man who was arrested and was going to pay the fine, "I'm in trouble, but I'm not really in trouble-you know what I mean."
25 year old male who just had his dream car, a Mercedes stolen-"There's no reason for me to get all upset, nothing I can do about it."(earns $26 per hour)
"I moved to California near Los Angeles and the weather is pretty much the same everyday, but I can't break the habit of checking the weather forecast daily."
"I moved to South Carolina for the quality of life."
"A year after 9-11 I won a golf tournament in Idaho and the trophy was a large picture of The Statue of Liberty, The American Flag, and The World Trade Center."
"I went to first NASCAR race. I'm from Louisiana, but I was surprised how everyone was dressed, it was a different kind of country than I'm used to."
"Montana was a beautiful place when I lived there."
"Thank you for getting our day off to a great start."
"I'm a big Steeler fan and I got to go to Canton to see three Steelers inducted into the Hall of Fame recently, it was great."
Couple: "We have a COVID dog." (bought to keep them company)
When he saw the Super Bowl ring he said, "Damn!"
Me: "So you're a Cowboy fan?" Guy from Dallas, Texas: "Unfortunately."
Young woman in Charleston, "I wouldn't say the people down here are friendly."
"You're an excellent driver."
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