Tuesday, June 4, 2024

MY MOST MEMORABLE RIDER COMMENTS FROM MAY

I asked the young guy from New York, "What are you doing in town?" He said, "I'm here for the women, it's bike week." Me: "Women come here for bike week?" He: "Oh yeah, and I'm going to take them from the bikers."

He: "My wife took me to China and we went to her home town. I was the only non-Asian there and they were taking pictures of me. We were in a KFC and there was a glass wall and they were filming me on the other side."

She: "Dollar General has 20,000 stores in this country and they do two billion dollars in gift card sales. They are trying to take over the world."

I asked the couple from New York how they met: She: "He chased me for five years." He: "I was at the dentist office and I was getting a needle and she was the head nurse.  I told her I wasn't comfortable and asked her to hold my hand.  I took three extra needles so she could hold my hand longer. I would have taken 25 more for her to be with me the rest of my life."

From upper state New York she said, "I hurt my rotator cuff.  I'm 105 pounds and I was throwing 75 pound logs down a hill."

She said about her friend next to her, "We've known each other since fifth grade, unfortunately by 7th grade she didn't get the message I didn't like her."

She told her friend, "If someone at work tells me I don't look good, I tell them, you don't look good either."

The guy from Colorado said, "Boulder is a college town, pretty crazy. When they filmed the television show, "Mork and Mindy" in Boulder, (Robin Williams as an alien), it was because they thought it was one of the few places in the country an alien could live without being noticed."

Giving me an amazing bill from Hungary since he was there this week, he said, "On the back is a picture of the famous prison where Count Dracula was held." (Actually Vlad the Impaler, responsible for 20,000 deaths, was held for 14 years at Tolat Castle, not this one.)

"My friend never knew when his birthday was. We went to the cemetery and found out that his brother who died of SIDS fifteen days after being born, died on my friends real birthday and his parents couldn't celebrate a birthday on that day."

She said, "Today was Cinquo De Drinko." She told me she made the name up, but the first rider I mentioned it to had heard it before.

Expecting her second child in March of 2020, her doctor told her that her husband might not be able to be in the room for the birth, because of a virus spreading.  She told her, "I can't do it without him." She was induced a week earlier and two days later the world closed down for COVID.

 He: "I live in Colts Neck, NJ, about five minutes from Bruce Springsteen and about fifteen minutes from Jon Bon Jovi." I told him I grew up with and knew David Bryan, the keyboard player for Bon Jovi and is real last name is Rashbaum. He said, "My friend recently took me to David Bryan's birthday party."

He: "I go back to Chicago in the winter because I like cold places."

She: "I run one hundred rental properties in South Carolina.  It keeps me busy."

She owned a cosmetics company for 23 years and did over $200,000 in sales in a small area. I asked her what her secret was and she said, "Love what you do and the money will come.

"In Prague, they have golden chariots above the buildings, it's beautiful."

From Florida, the rider said about the people in Florida, "We have no redeeming qualities."

In Isle of Palms, one of the wealthiest areas in South Carolina, he said, "I'm not feeling the poverty here."

I told the Minnesota family that I've had so many great rides with people from Minnesota.  He replied, "We're just boring people."

I told my fellow New York Giant fan that I rooted for the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl for the first half since I was watching with a friend who was an Eagle fan.  At halftime I went home and rooted against the Eagles who are rivals of the Giants and I said, "I'm the reason they lost."  He replied, "Thank you for your service."

The three women from Boston were upset they had nothing to give me to display in my car. One woman said, "Can I give you a water bottle?" Another woman said, "Would you like to hear my seagull impression?" I recorded her and the Boston Seagull is being enjoyed by other riders.

Hearing the Boston Seagull, the woman from Arizona started laughing and told me, "I'm known as the Dolphin Caller and I can use my call to gather as many as fifty dolphins." I recorded her and she's really good and riders enjoy it.

After hearing my "Boston Seagull" and "Arizona Dolphin Caller", the young woman heading to Home Depot to work, said, "I'm going to be a lot happier at work today after hearing them."


SOME MORE COMMENTS

She: "I take pictures of my Ubers."

"In New York I saw subway rats that were as big as rottweilers."

He: "The best tasting pineapples that Dole has are the ones that fall to the ground and they don't use."

"Living in South Carolina I saved 24 years of property taxes from living up north."

Her advice was, "Don't put off medical problems."

He: "My mom's advice was to expand my horizons and don't give up."

As the older man got in my car I said, "How are you today?" He replied, "I'm getting younger every day."

He: "When I look at the ocean there's a sense of bliss and peace."

She asked, "Are you doing a sequel of the book?" Me: "I don't know, but I do have a seagull for the sequel."

Picking up three woman from Ireland now living in New York, they had leftovers from Lewis's barbecue and they said, "Would you like some?" I politely said no and they were genuinely disappointed.

She: "Going to the College of Charleston was the best four years of my life."

She: "The Grand Cayman Islands were wonderful."

He owns a couple t-shirt stores and said, "Every year the profits get worse."

He: "I'm an arborist." They plant, maintain, care for and diagnose trees.

She: "I used to be the executive secretary for the original Mr. Coffee."

She: "I'm a philanthropy consultant."

He: "I'm a retired sea captain."



COMMENTS ABOUT LILY MY MANNEQUIN

He: "Friends of ours bought my wife earings that were on a mannequin head and they bought the head too. I was surprised when I first saw her in our bed.  The family moves her around the house to scare each other. You never know where she's going to be."

"Our neighbor has two mannequins on her front porch that she dresses up."

"I love it."

"What is that?"

"Is that a ventriloquist?" (I should have said, yes, and I'm the dummy.")

"I'm afraid of dolls because of "The Twilight Zone" episode, "Talking Tina."

"Lili's hair compliments your hair."

"She's not checking me out."

He informed me, "There are men who have full blown relationships with their mannequin and go on dates with them, look it up." (I'm afraid to)

The guard at the gate said, "Did you decapitate someone?"



COMMENTS ABOUT ME AND MY CAR

She: "This is beautiful.  It's the perfect ride for the end of the night." (7 am)

He: "I won't forget this ride."

She handed my a $5 bill and said, "This is for you getting a grandchild."

"I can't believe how much you enjoy doing this."

"This is the most talked about Uber."

"Keep collecting, you're doing good."

"This is so cool, you're a relic."

"I've never experienced anything like this."

The very nice couple were in my car for only six minutes and got out saying over and over, "This is the best Uber driver ever." The woman, a lawyer, added, "And the tip will reflect that."($10)

She: "I'm sorry I don't have anything for you. Wait, this is a jade bracelet from Guademala, I want you to have it."

"This was very fun."

"This is the most interesting ride I've ever taken."

"This is the coolest Uber I've ever been in."

"This is great-amazing."

"I love this."

"This is very creative."

"You're the best Uber driver."

"That's really good."

She said, "I'm loving it." Me: "I thought I was in a McDonald's commercial."

"This was my favorite Uber ride."

"This was so entertaining."

The woman kept saying one word during the ride, "amazing."

"I learned a lot on this ride."

"This was the best Uber ever."

"This feels like an Indian ride."  (??)

I told her I was waiting for a rider to give me the new Jamaican bill and she said, "I'm going there next week, I'll send you one."

"You're doing a good job."

"Such a cool ride."

"Can you come back later and get us?"

"This was the coolest and most entertaining ride I've ever had."



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