As I've said previously, Southerners are frequently mesmerizing when you hear them talk. The are smooth, friendly, and really a joy to listen to. However, sometimes it's not obvious what they are saying.
I was listening this morning to a local radio station and following along with the conversation perfectly. Then, they explained that there was new construction in Myrtle Beach and they were building a "boar". The other DJ said, "Just what we need, another "boar".
I was trying to imagine this animal or some kind of tourist attraction that people would want to see, but I was really stumped. The third time I heard them say it, I heard them say, "bar" and that made a lot more sense. I guess there are going to be some words that are going to sound really odd, but I don't think I'll ever go get a drink at the "boar."
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Sunday, January 28, 2018
How Friendly Are Southerners?
One of the things I've always heard about southerners is that they are very friendly and after one month living here I have to agree with that. They do love to talk and are very helpful, but two incidents this week really surprised me.
Monika and I were walking towards the beach when a car with passengers came towards us and the driver waved hello. He didn't know us and we were on the sidewalk, so it was very unusual to say the least. It's one thing to be walking by someone and say hello, but driving by with the window closed and the driver was on the other side from where we were?
However, the incident today, was even odder. About 8 am this morning I was walking out of a supermarket parking lot and it started to drizzle. The one bag I was carrying was small and everything was in the bag. I had a hood on and was not distressed, soaken wet, or in a hurry either.
A car was pulling into the lot and it suddenly stopped. The window came down and the guy who was about my age said, "hey buddy, need a lift?" I said, "No thanks, I'm good," and he replied, "It's a nice rain day, isn't it?" I agreed and he pulled away.
I consider myself pretty friendly, but would I ever stop and offer someone a ride under those circumstances when I was going into the lot and they were coming out? No way-I think it's going to take awhile for me to become a southerner.
Monika and I were walking towards the beach when a car with passengers came towards us and the driver waved hello. He didn't know us and we were on the sidewalk, so it was very unusual to say the least. It's one thing to be walking by someone and say hello, but driving by with the window closed and the driver was on the other side from where we were?
However, the incident today, was even odder. About 8 am this morning I was walking out of a supermarket parking lot and it started to drizzle. The one bag I was carrying was small and everything was in the bag. I had a hood on and was not distressed, soaken wet, or in a hurry either.
A car was pulling into the lot and it suddenly stopped. The window came down and the guy who was about my age said, "hey buddy, need a lift?" I said, "No thanks, I'm good," and he replied, "It's a nice rain day, isn't it?" I agreed and he pulled away.
I consider myself pretty friendly, but would I ever stop and offer someone a ride under those circumstances when I was going into the lot and they were coming out? No way-I think it's going to take awhile for me to become a southerner.
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Learning To Use A Phone
All I've heard is how easy it is to use a smart phone. It can do this and that and it will make your life so much easier. It's only been a few days, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a lot more time and I mean a lot more time. It is more than likely I will never be raving about how great it is to have a smart phone.
It is easier to text, some of the time. It's not easier than an e-mail, but I guess it's easier. The first night I had it I tried to show off and text my brother and sister. It was pretty simple-I found their names on my address list and typed the message quickly. I said something like, "texting on my new phone." It didn't take long for them to text me back that I had e-mailed that message to them. I understand that now.
I also started taking pictures for some reason. I walked out to the beach just before sunrise and took a couple pictures before I got there. Then, I got there and took a few more and the phone said, "low battery-20%." It didn't say that, I read it. I figured I was fine, but after a half dozen or so more pictures the battery ran out. My last picture was just as the sun started to appear. It was a beautiful sunrise and the pictures would have been great.
I thought I had taken about ten pictures, but it turned out to be 30 pictures. I barely touched the button to take the pictures, but I got many duplicates. I learned how to delete them and I did it. Now, if I can only learn how to download Facebook and somehow get the pictures onto Facebook, I'll be able to copy those pictures and e-mail them to my Dad so he can see them on his computer.
It's very easy to use a smart phone.
It is easier to text, some of the time. It's not easier than an e-mail, but I guess it's easier. The first night I had it I tried to show off and text my brother and sister. It was pretty simple-I found their names on my address list and typed the message quickly. I said something like, "texting on my new phone." It didn't take long for them to text me back that I had e-mailed that message to them. I understand that now.
I also started taking pictures for some reason. I walked out to the beach just before sunrise and took a couple pictures before I got there. Then, I got there and took a few more and the phone said, "low battery-20%." It didn't say that, I read it. I figured I was fine, but after a half dozen or so more pictures the battery ran out. My last picture was just as the sun started to appear. It was a beautiful sunrise and the pictures would have been great.
I thought I had taken about ten pictures, but it turned out to be 30 pictures. I barely touched the button to take the pictures, but I got many duplicates. I learned how to delete them and I did it. Now, if I can only learn how to download Facebook and somehow get the pictures onto Facebook, I'll be able to copy those pictures and e-mail them to my Dad so he can see them on his computer.
It's very easy to use a smart phone.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
The Singing Manager
Over the years I have read a lot of ads for jobs, but no ad has ever made me laugh more than the one for "The Singing Manager." I saw the ad about ten days ago and read it several times and I was laughing most of the time. A retail store called "The Fudgery" had placed the ad and they have three of their locations in Myrtle Beach and another 10-15 in other areas of the country.
The ad was very short on details about the position. The focus of the ad was that they were looking for someone who would have fun, who loved to sing, and would be able to entertain to some degree.
The ad said, "We don’t sell fudge, we sell FUN that comes disguised as fudge. To make our magic work, we need a FULL TIME STORE MANAGER with a skill set as unique as our concept."
Well, I love to sing and my family will tell you that I don't sing well, but I do love to sing and I have a very unique set of skills. I've also written a couple hundred songs over the years and I'm looking to have a "fun" job, so I applied. I couldn't send a normal resume, because they were looking for personality and uniqueness and I gave them that. After sending a survey to me where I had to rate among other things my singing(I put 5 out of 10), they then sent me a request for a real resume, which I sent them. I also told them that I had written a song just for their store and I would share it with them or sing it to them at the interview.
However, a week later, I have not heard back from them, so it looks like I will not be their singing manager. I e-mailed the HR person today and I attached the below song for their amusement. I had this picture of being interviewed and then walking out to the store, grabbing a microphone, and singing this song to the unsuspecting customers. It would have been fun!
The ad was very short on details about the position. The focus of the ad was that they were looking for someone who would have fun, who loved to sing, and would be able to entertain to some degree.
The ad said, "We don’t sell fudge, we sell FUN that comes disguised as fudge. To make our magic work, we need a FULL TIME STORE MANAGER with a skill set as unique as our concept."
Well, I love to sing and my family will tell you that I don't sing well, but I do love to sing and I have a very unique set of skills. I've also written a couple hundred songs over the years and I'm looking to have a "fun" job, so I applied. I couldn't send a normal resume, because they were looking for personality and uniqueness and I gave them that. After sending a survey to me where I had to rate among other things my singing(I put 5 out of 10), they then sent me a request for a real resume, which I sent them. I also told them that I had written a song just for their store and I would share it with them or sing it to them at the interview.
However, a week later, I have not heard back from them, so it looks like I will not be their singing manager. I e-mailed the HR person today and I attached the below song for their amusement. I had this picture of being interviewed and then walking out to the store, grabbing a microphone, and singing this song to the unsuspecting customers. It would have been fun!
“Fudge
Fun”
“Beach Baby”(sung to)
Fudge fun, fudge fun, fudge
fun, fudge.
Do you want to eat something
great?
We don’t want you to
hesitate.
Come up front and have a
bite,
You’ll want to eat fudge all
through the night.
Fun fudge, fun fudge, fun
fudge, fun.
If your life has some
drudgery
You need to come down to The
Fudgery.
We’ll make you smile and
laugh some too,
And if we don’t, it’s on you.
Fudge fun, fudge fun, fudge
fun, fudge.
But if you really don’t like
my song
It may be that I sang it
wrong.
But there’s nothing for you
to fear,
They didn’t hire me yet, to
work here.
Fun fudge, fun fudge, fun
fudge, fun.
Fudge fun, fudge fun, fudge
fun, fudge.
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Southerners Can Really Talk
We haven't been here a full month yet, but one thing is obvious-people down here can really talk. There have been several times that I was thinking to myself(while listening to someone talk), I don't think they are going to stop. There's almost no way of getting a word in and they just keep talking.
Don't get me wrong though, it's not boring at all. Matter of fact, it's mesmerizing. Not only do they love to talk, but the way they sound is just incredible. It's not just one person, it's almost as if everyone with that accent talks so smoothly, it's hypnotic. I think you can give them a phone book to read and they would sound great.
I do like to talk about some subjects, but how long will it take to be able to talk like they do? Is it something you can learn? We haven't said y'all yet, but eventually that will come. But a smooth sounding voice-that may take a very long time. Maybe I can get a southern voice on my GPS?
Don't get me wrong though, it's not boring at all. Matter of fact, it's mesmerizing. Not only do they love to talk, but the way they sound is just incredible. It's not just one person, it's almost as if everyone with that accent talks so smoothly, it's hypnotic. I think you can give them a phone book to read and they would sound great.
I do like to talk about some subjects, but how long will it take to be able to talk like they do? Is it something you can learn? We haven't said y'all yet, but eventually that will come. But a smooth sounding voice-that may take a very long time. Maybe I can get a southern voice on my GPS?
Friday, January 19, 2018
Flipping Off The Flip Phone
I am so close-I am almost there. The moment my wife and kids have been waiting for is about to happen. It could have been today, it will be this weekend. I am about to transfer from a flip phone to an I-phone, or is it i-Phone. I have no idea, I haven't been trained.
They have been telling me I should make the switch month after month after month. It's been going on for years. It'll be more fun, I'll get more done, I'll be able to text whole sentences, It can count my steps, I can sit in my car and look at my e-mail, I can watch TV shows on my phone-there are so many wonderful things I'm going to be able to do-when I have my own i-phone or I-Phone.
I told our mortgage guy I was "making the switch." He said, "don't do it, it's the downfall of society. When I got my i-Phone(or I-phone) my beard was black and now it's grey." I don't have a beard, will I be able to grow hair back now? I told my Dad on the phone yesterday that I was going to get a "real" phone. He said, "you mean a landline?" I guess I can call it anything I want-maybe George.
I've been procrastinating. I have the time to be trained and the phone is now charged, for a second time. I think tonight before I shut off my flip phone I'm going to open and close it a few times and say, "Scotty, beam me up." Maybe he will and I won't have to do it right now?
They have been telling me I should make the switch month after month after month. It's been going on for years. It'll be more fun, I'll get more done, I'll be able to text whole sentences, It can count my steps, I can sit in my car and look at my e-mail, I can watch TV shows on my phone-there are so many wonderful things I'm going to be able to do-when I have my own i-phone or I-Phone.
I told our mortgage guy I was "making the switch." He said, "don't do it, it's the downfall of society. When I got my i-Phone(or I-phone) my beard was black and now it's grey." I don't have a beard, will I be able to grow hair back now? I told my Dad on the phone yesterday that I was going to get a "real" phone. He said, "you mean a landline?" I guess I can call it anything I want-maybe George.
I've been procrastinating. I have the time to be trained and the phone is now charged, for a second time. I think tonight before I shut off my flip phone I'm going to open and close it a few times and say, "Scotty, beam me up." Maybe he will and I won't have to do it right now?
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Feeding The Alligators
No, I did not do it. I just wanted to get your attention. We've had a lot of changes down here, but that would border on the insane. Which leads me to the signs I keep seeing around the neighborhood- "Don't Feed the Alligators." I start backing away immediately when I read the sign.
I guess it must be a law but who in their right mind would feed an alligator? A bird, okay. A duck, okay. But something that with big teeth and a big mouth which could easily take off your arm or leg, it's not going to happen. Not today, tomorrow or ever... I promise. Are there really people walking around with food looking for alligators? I don't think so, but I'll let you know if I see someone doing that.
I've seen unusual signs before that must cost money to put up, I've always wondered if they do anybody any good, other than getting a good laugh. I know you're all up there, but in case you didn't know-"Don't Feed the Alligators."
I guess it must be a law but who in their right mind would feed an alligator? A bird, okay. A duck, okay. But something that with big teeth and a big mouth which could easily take off your arm or leg, it's not going to happen. Not today, tomorrow or ever... I promise. Are there really people walking around with food looking for alligators? I don't think so, but I'll let you know if I see someone doing that.
I've seen unusual signs before that must cost money to put up, I've always wondered if they do anybody any good, other than getting a good laugh. I know you're all up there, but in case you didn't know-"Don't Feed the Alligators."
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