The young woman who told me last year she was going to a reptile convention, told me this month, "I rescued three tarantulas and the first day one of them got loose and my sister found it crawling up my back. I was screaming and gave them all to someone else that night."
The two women are new to Charleston and new friends. I asked, "How did you meet?" One of them answered, "I'm her Madam." (Kidding)
I brought the entertaining woman to a dress shop after 5:30 pm on a Saturday night. "Are you sure they are open?" I asked. Making fun of her size she replied, "Yes, I only need a few minutes, they close at 6. It may be a whole store, but it's not a whole store for me."
The woman told me this, "The best comment I ever heard in an Uber was when my male driver in Chicago asked me this, 'Where is the closest Starbucks? I need to make a bowel movement."
Woman with one child: "She keeps asking me for a sister, how about I just get her a puppy dog?"
The two women were going to work together and they were both very happy. I asked them, "What do you do when you're not working?" One said, "I love going to the mall," and the other said, "I love watching TV." I said, "My wife and I have been here five years and we don't have a TV." Her eyes got very big and said, "I would die."
I asked Tiffaney (maybe 40) how she got an "e" at the end of her name and she said, "Mama wanted to zhuzh it up." (Make it more interesting or lively)
I asked the truck driver how tall he was and he suggested I guess. "Are you 7-1? 7-4?" He said, "I'm 7-8, I once played against The Harlem Globetrotters. I played the bad guy." (I have a pic with him)
She: "I was in an Uber going over the Ravenel Bridge and heard a big pop, the tire blew out. I'm terrified of bridges and the car scraped it's way off the bridge. The driver made sure I was okay and offered to pay for the ride, but he was upset about the tire. I ordered another Uber and when I got in the car I was so excited about what happened I talked for three minutes without realizing the driver was deaf."
I asked the Russian man, "Why did you leave Russia in the last year?" He said very clearly, "Putin is crazy."
When talking about the two brothers who are going to turn ashes into diamonds, the guy who works on a boat said, "Just throw this vessel in the dumpster."
He: "I went to school at Coastal Carolina, there were a lot of northern assholes there." Laughing, I said, "Don't worry, I'm still going to drive you, I'm from New Jersey."
The couple are from South Africa and then lived in New Zealand and now live in Charleston. I asked, "How did you wind up here?" She: "We like to say that Charleston found us. We traveled to many states for six months and a woman working in a store in North Carolina asked us some questions and told us to visit Charleston-we didn't have any idea where it was."
She: "I had an Uber driver here in Charleston who was 87 or 88 years old and he said he had the most rides of any Uber driver, but after some heart problems he's slowing down some."
She told me that when she was a child she would , "Walk around carrying a large, pig faced doll." I asked, "Why was it pig-faced?" She replied, "I don't know, I'll have to ask my sister."
The three college girls were talking about one of the ex-boyfriends who keeps texting her. They asked me for advice, but all I had heard was the woman saying, "He calls me "Butterbean."
She has been with her boyfriend for 13 years and they have a 9-year old son. "Our son keeps asking when we're going to get married. I'll say yes when the time is right."
She: "My daughter was my wild child and when she was 19 or 20 she got a DUI when she left our house drunk after fighting with her boyfriend. It ruined her life for a year, but it was the best thing that ever happened to her." Me: "Does she think that too?" Her: "No."
The three players from the local hockey team were joking about a lot of things, when one joked, "We have kissed other men."
Looking at the 24 foreign bills in my car, the female college student said, "I've probably been to 80% of these places." Me: "What do your parents do?" She: "My dad is a retired NBA player. He played for the Bulls with Michael Jordan." (Two years before the first championship)
She: "My dad used to say, 'If you're early, you never have to worry about being late."
She said she was a, "Recovering hypochondriac." She: "I worked with a guy who said he had a sore throat and it was esophageal cancer. I told him, you have COVID dumbass."
I was promoting Lewis's Barbecue to a local in Downtown Charleston who had never been there. He: "I'm going today, you're the first person who made me want to go."
The woman and I agreed on what the world needs to do: "Everybody needs to come together."
I said to the tired guy as he got out, "Get some rest." He replied, "It's difficult when you have a girlfriend who wants to stay up and talk."
"My Uber in Chicago gave out chocolates for Valentine's Day."
The woman said to me, "You should get paid by the city of Charleston for what you do."
The professor of Neuroscience at MUSC was very enthusiastic about the 24 foreign bills in my car. On a call with his boss, he said, "Do you want to see the swag my Uber has in his car?" and then he showed it to her.
The man from Detroit told me this, "A month ago we had temperatures below zero and this is what my backyard looked like."
"I am a popular Neuroscience professor, when people in the media have questions about the field, they call me."
He: "My sister and I started a company called "The Two Oh Three," and we sell merchandise that advertises clothing from Connecticut." (The area code for Connecticut is 203)
She: "I wanted to be a cardiologist like my dad because he's the hardest worker I've ever met and he loves it and he was able to raise a big family being so dedicated to his career."
When I asked her what she did for work, she said very slowly and confidently, "I....sell...kitchen.....cabinets."
Woman: "I like when people are happy."
He's been married six years and I asked, "How did you meet your wife?" He replied, "We met at the Lollapalooza Music Festival with 200,000 people."
The woman who is an architect, is in charge of planning inside a New York City hospital, told me the key thing they do now is, "Look for flexibility in our footprint."
The young guy said, "I'm just cooling out the day." Me: "Isn't that like chilling?."
The Atlanta Braves fan was teasing me: "We tortured the Yankees in the 90's." Me: "Really, I watched the 1996 World Series when the Yankees lost the first two at home and then beat the Braves four straight."
She: "There is so much to like in Charleston, it's a beautiful city."
Asking if I had a Super Bowl ring to give him, the Carolina Panthers fan said, "I'll even take an NFC Championship ring."
The former member of the Libertarian Party and Republican Party, told me, "The dark horse in the Republican primary is Nikii Haley. I think she's going to beat Kamala Harris and be elected President."
She: "I like to tell Uber drivers I can't drive because I got a DUI, but it's really because I had some seizures."
I told the woman in housekeeping that I'm terrible at keeping my car windows clean and she said, "Get an old pillowcase that's been washed and it will eliminate the streaks."
Bringing her to Hardees I said that I hadn't eaten there in years. She said, "Ain't nothing spectacular there."
I asked what she was majoring in and she said, "Exercise Science," it's for health and fitness instructors."
I asked the retired CPA, "Was it an easy transition becoming retired." He: "I'm unhappily retired."
She: "I like being an only child. I'm very close my mom and I'm comfortable by myself."
SOME MORE ABOUT ME AND MY CAR
The hockey player said, "Do you use many of those lines, you have some good zingers."
He said, "Thanks for the museum."(The money hanging in my car)
Getting out of my car, the Communications Manager said with a big smile, "This has been the best part of my Charleston vacation."
She: "This is a historic Uber."
"You are awesome."
The woman said, "I've never been in an Uber like this."
She: "You have joy in everything you do."
She: "I'm impressed I got to see money from other countries."
As the woman got in the car she looked at my "Rider Money Museum" and said, "I'm so excited, I love it." She absolutely loved looking at all the money and hearing my "money stories.
When I asked the couple from New Jersey, have you ever gotten a gift from an Uber driver? He answered, "This ride has been a gift."
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