If You Spray Yourself With Febreeze, Will You Smell Good?

This is another one of those questions I'm sure you've asked yourself before. Today was the day I had to seriously think about this question. I love a challenge and I had to get to the oral surgeon by 4 pm to get my tooth pulled.  Working in the hot sun, I realized that I really needed to get home and take a quick shower which would put me only 15 minutes from their office.  I also had to eat some real food before going which should have been the easiest part of the day.  Finally, I was going to finish working at least 30 minutes from home.  I knew I had to be heading for home by 3-3:15 to arrive on time at 4 PM.

I brought a change of clothes if I could not get home to shower, but I forgot to bring deodorent. I had disenfectant wipes and Febreeze, would that be enough? It was a given that I was going to smell badly, so what do you do?  You can't spray Febreeze directly on you, do you spray a lot in the car and sit there? There are no directions on the can for spraying yourself.  My guess was that this would work if I needed it.

From 5 am this morning I was working hard at making that appointment, which seems odd, since I really did not want to get a tooth pulled.  Around noon the office called and asked if I could come in earlier.  I told them I might make it by 3:30.  My window was shrinking, but I was ahead of schedule.

Around 1 pm we had one of those typical southern storms and I was stuck inside of a store for close to thirty minutes. I was pretty wet, so now I had to dry off.  Do I still go home and shower and dry off after getting soaked by the storm?  About 2 pm my tire air pressure light went on and I had to put air in my tires after I finished my last stop at 2:15.  Both fast food places I went by had too many cars waiting and I still had to eat.

I arrived home at 3, showered and changed and was out the door by 3:15.  I stopped at a convenience store and bought a healthy hot dog and some small donuts and topped my dinner off with a few crackers and a peppermint pattie I picked up during the day.

I arrived at the office at 3:40 and they asked when I had something to eat and I said, "I'm still swallowing."  As I sat in the chair and the drilling started, I was certain that this was a really bad idea to begin with.  And the Febreeze, I still think it would work, but I'm going to have to try it another time and I'll let you know.

The Letter

Have you ever really looked at some of the junk that is in your mail? One letter recently caught my eye because it was from Louisville, Kentucky.  I don't know anyone there, but I have heard of it.  My name was spelled right on the envelope and it was very neatly done, but I'm not sure a human being did it.

It was great to hear from the Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram dealership in Pawley's Island.  We live not too far away, so it made sense to get this letter.  Why did it come from Kentucky? Does this mean the sales person really didn't send it to me?

It looks like a very down to earth personal note that he suddenly decided to send me.  Here's what it said with my thoughts in parenthesis:  "We're under new management (it's about time, but I've never been there) and looking to build up our professional inventory. (how is inventory professional?)  If you still have your 2012 Jeep Patriot (I barely remember the car and have driven over 300,000 miles since I had it) we'd like to welcome you back to the dealership (I may have passed it on the road, but that's it) for an aggressive purchase offer! (I'd prefer a passive purchase offer which includes free food)  With no payments for up to 90 days (only 90 days, one year and you have a deal), and other great incentives,(food?) now would be a great time to trade! (what time isn't?) See enclosed offers!

Talk to you soon (the chances are slim and none, you pick) VD (his real initials, but I didn't spell his name out) 843-613-6817 ext. 24876 (I changed one number for privacy reasons)

The year is 2020 and they are looking for my 2012 Jeep Patriot? Good luck finding that, there's no chance it's in South Carolina. How desparate do you have to be to be looking for a car that is eight years old? What do you think the letter cost and how many do they send out? Do they actually get a few calls back? Is it possible that they make a sale like this?

I know it's too many questions, but the bottom line is that junk mail is the same in the South as it is in the North. It's also equally annoying.  I'm throwing the letter out right now.

"I Enjoyed Mowing the Lawn"

I've been mowing lawns for many decades and for the most part, I have enjoyed mowing the lawn.  Probably not as much when I was a kid in Junior High School or High School, but certainly when I've had my own lawn.  It's good exercise and there's a certain amount of satisfaction to see the lawn cut and looking nice.

Here in South Carolina, I bought a push mower that uses no gas, is light to push, and makes very little noise.  I've actually talked on the phone a few times while I mowed the lawn.  It really has been the most fun I've had mowing lawns in my whole life.  When we started out here we had very little grass to cut, but that's no longer the case.

We've replaced grass and fertillized it and watered it and when I say "we", I mean specifically my wife has been working on this.  In addition to planting dozens and dozens of flowers, plants and occasional trees, she's been working on our lawn and it looks amazing. It is growing a tremendous amount with all the rain we've had this past month.

We decided to move the blade down on the mower to get a closer "shave."  When I say "we", once again, I mean my wife.  I held the mower and she lowered the blade.  It wasn't difficult from where I was standing and she's just a lot better at these things than I am.  The other day on the way home I was looking forward to cutting the lawn to see what it would look like with a closer "shave."

As I pulled into the driveway I was surprised to see the lawn looked incredible and it was cut.  My wife, for the first time in her life, mowed the lawn.  She told me, "I enjoyed mowing the lawn." She wanted to help me out because I had a late day and she wanted to see what it was going to look like.

I'm wondering though, am I now not going to be able to enjoy mowing the lawn, because she's going to want to do it before I get home? What if I never have to mow the lawn again? I think I'd miss it, really.

"You're Just Like Christmas!"

When I deliver packages to people it is not unusual for them to be excited and enthusiastic, however, today was the first time I've ever been compared to Christmas. I did the best I could with her comment and said, "Merry Christmas, I hope you've been good."  As I was leaving I did add, "enjoy your Christmas."  Both times of course, I got the laugh I was looking for, but it did give me something to think about.

They did know the packages(boxes) were coming and usually they know what is in them and it wasn't a gift.  Imagine what their reaction is on Christmas Day, or when they were a child how excited they must have been.  Maybe it's just opening something up or getting something new and it really doesn't matter what's inside. I still occasionally have someone look at a box and say, "what's in it?" I'll tell them, " it's a magic box, whatever you want is inside."  They always like that answer and that really would be something to be excited about.

It is nice to get that kind of greeting when you walk into a store or office and it usually results in a few laughs.  However, I'm pretty sure that this Jewish guy and Christmas don't have very much in common.  I do celebrate Christmas and I enjoy it and I love Christmas music, but I'm really not "like Christmas."  It just goes to show you that there are all kinds of people in the world.  Some people don't believe we ever landed on the moon and some people think I'm "just like Christmas." And, some people like you and me are not right on everything all the time.(just most of the time)

What Would You Say to An Elevator?

Being on the road daily I get to see and hear a lot of things and some of them are unusual.  I'm in and out of elevators in two hospitals and several medical buildings.  It happens sometimes that I'm distracted and get off at the wrong floor or I forget to press a button and the elevator doesn't move.(imagine that!)

Today however, was a first for me. I walked into the elevator that was empty and as the door started to close, I heard a voice.  At first I thought it was coming just outside the elevator, but it continued as the door completely closed.  The voice said, "Is there an emergency?" I looked at the numbers near the elevator door and I saw the light on the phone was lit.

So, I said to the elevator, "no, there's no emergency."  And the elevator said, "you can get out of the elevator?"  I said, "yes, everything is fine."  The elevator said, "thanks, have a good day."  It's not every day you talk to an elevator, but your conversation is pretty limited.

It will probably be quite a long time before an elevator talks to me again, but I 'll be ready and I won't be as surprised.  Maybe someone hit the emergency button as they got out just before me which led to to the conversation. Who knows, maybe they do random checks to make sure everything is working well? I don't think I'll ever know exactly what happened today, but it did happen.  I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine the conversation.

Rider Stories In June

THE LONGEST RIDE: I've gotten a few really long rides, but this ride was 157 miles from Myrtle Beach to Columbia, South Carolina.  It would have taken under three hours but with part of the highway closed down briefly, the trip turned out to be almost four hours one way.  A brother and sister was taking the trip at 9 am Sunday morning after arriving Saturday night with her boyfriend. The person paying for the ride was the sister's braille teacher since the sister is completely blind.  She and her boyfriend(who had been drinking) got into a fight and she hit him first and then he tackled her.  The police were called and he was arrested. He gave a false name, and then resisted arrest.  They were leaving town without her wallet since it somehow wound up in the hotel hallway with her debit card in it.  She had bruises from the fight and had not slept which she did almost the whole trip.  It was quite a story and unfortunately I think there's a lot more to it.

REALLY-THE VERY LONGEST RIDE: I previously blogged about "The Bag" which was the end part of my very longest ride.  However, here's the beginning of the story:  I got a 65 mile ride to the Florence train station for two recent high school graduates.  Due to the virus and there not being many drivers out, it took them an hour to get a ride.  We had 75 minutes for a ride that took 85 minutes to make.  I was under pressure to get them there, but we got delayed ten minutes and the train was delayed 20 minutes. We arrived at the station and jumped out and ran into the station, but we missed the train by about two minutes. The next train was 11 hours later.  I couldn't leave them there, so I drove them 3 1/2 hours to North Carolina.  They were both upset about missing the train.  First, the boyfriend was crying on the phone to his mom apparently after his girlfriend hit him in the mouth. Then, she started crying and he spent a good hour calming her down and she finally fell asleep. His mom decided to pick them up from the train station and we arrived safely.  Everything was fine until I discovered an extra bag in my trunk that I picked up outside the first train station thinking it was part of the couple's luggage.  If you haven't read about "the bag", go back a few blogs-it's worth reading.

THE COLLEGE STUDENT: We had just had the discussion the other night about people in their twenties and if they were motivated to work.  I had mentioned several riders that I've spoken to as an Uber driver who were extremely impressive and the woman I picked up to take to the airport certainly fit into that category.  She's about to be a senior at Lehigh University,(where my son attended) and she's a Business Economics major with a Chinese minor. We had a long conversation about school and what she plans on doing in the future. She's interested in cyber security and has worked with a neighbor who is involved in it.  She wants to start as a consultant and she already has a job offer from a major company which she has not accepted yet.  She was very articulate, friendly and obviously intelligent.  She went to Catholic schools all her life although she wasn't very religious and said sometimes she just had to "grin and bear it."(the religious part) It doesn't matter where she goes in the future, because I'm certain she's going to go far and I really enjoyed talking with her.

What Masks Are Not For

If someone had told you a year ago that one of the biggest topics of discussion in 2020 would be masks, there isn't anyone who would have believed that.  To wear or not to wear, how to wear it, when to wear it, what kind to wear and is wearing one important or effective-these are just some of the topics of conversation that have come up with people around the world this year.

However, absolutely no one is talking about what masks are not for, so I decided to share some thoughts with you.  We know that wearing a mask properly you can look forward and look to the right and to the left, but you don't want to attempt to look down. I realized this one day when I was working and walked into the men's room and walked up to a urinal. Yes, I am going there, with this conversation.  When I looked down I could not see anything! The urinal was there and I was there, but where was "you know what?" Masks are not made for this.

Eating? Are you kidding? When you go to grab a grape or pretzel or carrot while driving, there's no way you can get that past the mask.  If you're driving it's impossible, because you would need two hands to pull the mask back with one hand and force something into your mouth. Masks are not made for this.

Drinking? The great thing about a water bottle with a straw is that you just suck on it and you get water. But, with a mask on, you cannot get the straw to your mouth, it is frustrating if you're thirsty.  Masks are not made for this.

Kissing? It is not recommended. First you would kiss your mask and then the mask of the person you're kissing and I guess you get to the lips of the other person? I have not tried this, but masks are not made for this.

Taking a shower or a swim with a mask? I'd like to see that happen.  Are there waterproof masks? Not likely, but don't try this at home, masks are not made for this.

In conclusion, when the subject of masks come up, think about what they are not for and not all the rest of the stuff.  Maybe that's what masks are really for-to be amused about what they are not for.

Maybe not, but it's a lot more fun thinking about.